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Are there kinks you won't talk about on CM? - 9/19/2010 4:15:44 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		There's a blog entry a friend wrote that I thought might be relevant to a current thread, but in it he's discussing pretty dangerous stuff and I didn't feel comfortable posting a link-I ended up copping out and cmailing the OP just for their own interest.

It got me thinking back to a discussion I remember having with Lady P when I was pretty new-she said there were things she wouldn't post the specifics of on the forums in case someone inexperienced tried them and it went wrong. I was kind of offended at the time-I thought the duty of care was with the reader, not the writer, but I get what she meant now-I don't want anyone else's accidents or bad experiences on my head, even indirectly.

I think she was talking about needleplay, and it got me wondering:

Are there kinks you won't discuss on CM, for whatever reason? Is it that you don't want to be responsible for encouraging other people to behave irresponsibly, or you don't think they'll be received well, or the experiences are just too private, or something else entirely?

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RE: Are there kinks you won't talk about on CM? - 9/19/2010 4:17:28 PM   
mbes


Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
Status: offline 		Absolutely, but it is from a privacy standpoint. What other adults do is not my decision, or place to censor.

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RE: Are there kinks you won't talk about on CM? - 9/19/2010 4:22:08 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Yes, there are. But there are things that I don't care to share with the internet at large, so I only discuss them privately.

Most of what we do is not hard to learn. Still, I don't want to give the impression that it's all simple and trouble free.



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RE: Are there kinks you won't talk about on CM? - 9/19/2010 4:23:17 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		I think if I can mention hammer and nails and genitals, then it might be inferred I'll just let it all fly here.

I don't know specifically there are things I wouldn't discuss. If I'm not experienced or out of my league, I generally don't contribute. I'm not Mr. Conscientious that jumps into threads for the sake of saying something's dangerous.

Jeff

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RE: Are there kinks you won't talk about on CM? - 9/19/2010 4:24:08 PM   
DarkSteven


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Status: offline 		There are lots of things that I will not disclose in the open forums, and a few of them are kink.

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RE: Are there kinks you won't talk about on CM? - 9/19/2010 4:41:10 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		no. I don't have any really strange kinks so I don't have any fears of talking about any of mine and I don't have anything to hide. I've pretty much talked about everything online at one point or another.

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RE: Are there kinks you won't talk about on CM? - 9/19/2010 4:42:17 PM   
mbes


Posts: 465
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Status: offline 		DarkSteven, may I say that you are one of my most favorites? For the above post, among others. Thanks!

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RE: Are there kinks you won't talk about on CM? - 9/19/2010 4:59:28 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		I don't think of them as "kinks"... but there are things I do with Carol mentally that I don't wish to talk about here for the same reasons.... I'm a bit afraid that someone will go off on "Svengali-esque mind control techniques" and create a mess.

There's also other kinks which are just plain prohibited here.

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RE: Are there kinks you won't talk about on CM? - 9/19/2010 5:00:43 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

Are there kinks you won't discuss on CM, for whatever reason?


Yes, they are not kinks I have tried yet, but there are some, um, interests I have that I would not find it appropriate to discuss here.


I
quote:

s it that you don't want to be responsible for encouraging other people to behave irresponsibly, or you don't think they'll be received well, or the experiences are just too private, or something else entirely?


They are outside of the "norm" of CM, and I would not feel comfortable discussing them, and since I may never even indulge in my alternative kink, I feel it would expose me in ways I do not want to be, with no benefit for doing so.

Look at how some garden variety kinks, like rape play, are received here... some of this stuff deeply impacts people on an emotional level. Why expose that for a limited return (and no, my kink isn't rape play, it is just an example)

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RE: Are there kinks you won't talk about on CM? - 9/19/2010 5:12:54 PM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
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Status: offline 		Yes, plenty. So I use the word "open-minded" in my profile. It's like a hanky code, albeit a very vague one.

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RE: Are there kinks you won't talk about on CM? - 9/19/2010 5:32:59 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline 		Are there kinks you won't talk about on CM?

I'd rather not say.


< Message edited by Icarys -- 9/19/2010 5:33:27 PM >

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RE: Are there kinks you won't talk about on CM? - 9/19/2010 6:02:20 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
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Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~

Not really that I can think of off-hand. There are a few little fantasies that pop into my head every now and then that I wouldn't share but I really wouldn't call them kinks for me.

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RE: Are there kinks you won't talk about on CM? - 9/19/2010 6:06:17 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I would not recommend anyone giving details of suspension over the net. Too damned dangerous. It seems weekly we have people asking what kind of screw is needed to suspend someone from their ceiling. The answer is none. You need a frame, or you need access to the ceiling studs, and you need more than a basic knowledge of anatomy. Because even if the anchor point didn't pull out and they go crashing to the floor, the pressure on various nerves can cause nerve damage. Leaving someone with minimal use of their arms for two years because you had the pressure on the arm nerves is not something that should happen.

So all I, and others, usually do is tell people why what they're proposing to do won't work, and strongly suggest they need to make the acquaintance of an experienced rigger to learn from. This just isn't something to be done at home.


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RE: Are there kinks you won't talk about on CM? - 9/19/2010 6:09:38 PM   
MistressTonya2u


Posts: 140
Joined: 12/20/2009
Status: offline 		Yes, there are a few.

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RE: Are there kinks you won't talk about on CM? - 9/19/2010 6:12:41 PM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		Yes. Because I don't know what the reaction would be and I'm simply not thick-skinned enough to let negative comments not effect me.
This can at times be a hostile and insular place.

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RE: Are there kinks you won't talk about on CM? - 9/19/2010 6:13:38 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		Yes.


And no, because I  believe if I am talking about stuff I have done an have experince in, or want to try it, if some noob goes oh hey awesome I'll do it......... and then totally fucks themself up. I don't believe it's on my head, not even indirectly, they're the dumbasses who dove into a pool not knowing how shallow it was, to use a euphonious, not me.  I didn't say hey you, newbie, you should try it, so why should I feel the blames on me.

The kinks I won't talk about on here, or on any open forum, are to personal to be "shouting from the roof tops" if you will.

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious


Are there kinks you won't discuss on CM, for whatever reason? Is it that you don't want to be responsible for encouraging other people to behave irresponsibly, or you don't think they'll be received well, or the experiences are just too private, or something else entirely?


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RE: Are there kinks you won't talk about on CM? - 9/19/2010 6:32:37 PM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
Are there kinks you won't discuss on CM, for whatever reason? Is it that you don't want to be responsible for encouraging other people to behave irresponsibly, or you don't think they'll be received well, or the experiences are just too private, or something else entirely?


Yeah, I don't write about an kinks because I think it would be distasteful.

quote:

ORIGINAL:VaguelyCurious
It got me thinking back to a discussion I remember having with Lady P when I was pretty new-she said there were things she wouldn't post the specifics of on the forums in case someone inexperienced tried them and it went wrong. I was kind of offended at the time-I thought the duty of care was with the reader, not the writer, but I get what she meant now-I don't want anyone else's accidents or bad experiences on my head, even indirectly.

I don't reply to "mind fuck" threads because I've realized most people don't have the right intentions or sense of responsibility to toy with others' emotions safely.

I'm not kind of surprised people replied to my question about it - granted, they didn't give specifics and it was mostly directed at safety.

Why so many worrisome threads recently?!?

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RE: Are there kinks you won't talk about on CM? - 9/19/2010 6:44:06 PM   
FetishRose


Posts: 212
Joined: 8/7/2008
Status: offline 		There are dynamics in my relationship I don't discuss, simply because it doesn't really pertain to the forum posts I answer.  My Sir knows them, I know them.  They might scare some people, some people might find them unhealthy, while others would find them completely normal.  It's just not something I put out there.
Kink-wise, I am not into much that's not relatively common, and thus discussed openly.  The only thing I can think of is using corsets in a different manner than the norm, but I wouldn't post details publicly about that, because it can be dangerous if done incorrectly.


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RE: Are there kinks you won't talk about on CM? - 9/19/2010 7:04:27 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Are you sure that we weren't talking about fire play?  Needle play is something that I'm more likely to discuss.  

The "how to's" that I'm usually not willing to discuss on the boards are usually the more dangerous things.  I have something of a personal meter of what types of play that I'll discuss on the open forum.  The higher that it is on the edge play factor, the less likely I'm going to attempt to type out here on the boards.  This is stuff that I'll happily teach in person (one of the demos that I've done is called "Fire and Ice") but the circumstances are different that way.  I do follow notes and I do prepare handouts.  I know I haven't missed something regarding safety or other necessary information.  Frankly, that's a lot of work and I'm not as comfortable sending reprints of a two hour class on the net.

Also, I'm not prone to discuss those things on the boards that are directly related to privacy.  It's really nobody's business the ways I've humiliated or punished clip or any specifics to any other play that I've done.  That's a breech of trust.  My personal sex life also isn't free up for grabs just because somebody starts a topic or somebody that I've never heard of sends Me an email.  My standard on this is, if it's not something you would ask a stranger on the street because it's too personal, I'm most likely going to answer it on the net from someone that I've never interacted with before.


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RE: Are there kinks you won't talk about on CM? - 9/19/2010 7:24:33 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
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From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Yes, there are several.

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