RE: Any survivor want to release anger

RE: Any survivor want to release anger (Full Version)

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LadyHibiscus -> RE: Any survivor want to release anger (9/20/2010 10:31:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven .This may sound stupid, but if you want someone to Top you, why not a Domme? I am guessing here, but PROBABLY because no dom worth her salt would go for such a cockamamie notion!! While a sub who wants to make someone happy would be more likely to cooperate.

WhipTheHip -> RE: Any survivor want to release anger (9/20/2010 10:33:18 AM)
LadyPact wrote: quote: My opinion is that you have no proof to these comments, either. It is also My opinion that Did it ever occur to you that I don't give a flying shit what you think? You have no idea what my qualifications are. You are free to believe what you like. I often tell people with closed minds what they want to hear because I know it will do not good to tell them anything else. Over the course of my life, I have counseled hundreds of survivors. Many told me I helped more in a few hours than all the therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists they had seen their entire lives. Those who told me this had been getting professional help since they were little children. Most who post here, ought to spend more time looking at themselves, and judging themselves than judging others. I honestly do feel sorry for you. You must have been hurt pretty bad to have this much pent-up rage and hostility toward someone you have never met. Abuse leads to hostility, distrust and cynicism. Those who post here peg my meter on all three. Peace and love to you.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Any survivor want to release anger (9/20/2010 10:35:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip Most who post here, ought to spend more time looking at themselves, and judging themselves than judging others. I honestly do feel sorry for you. You must have been hurt pretty bad to have this much pent-up rage and hostility toward someone you have never met. Abuse leads to hostility, distrust and cynicism. Those who post here peg my meter on all three. Peace and love to you. Again with the "who hurt you"? commentary. Why is it that men so often toss this out at female dominants? If LP is so HURT, shouldn't she be lining up to be the first one to have a crack at you?

PeanutTigerinBox -> RE: Any survivor want to release anger (9/20/2010 10:39:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip I know several dozen survivors who have tried this. All told me they felt better afterwards, that it was very theraputic for them. None suffered any damage. I have remained in contact with most of them. In every case precautions were taken in case the survivor experienced a flashback. There is a name for this treatment in psychology. It is called psychodrama. Judging by the responses Ive read here, most of you seem to have a great deal of bottled-up hostility, and repressed emotions. You seem to get-off on emotional abuse and putting others down. I am sorry if I responded in kind. Forgive me. I am sensitive to the people I interact with. Nasty, negative, hostile people bring out a side of me I dont like. I try to avoid them at all costs. The nicer people are with me, the nicer I am with them. In fact I always try to always repay kindness two-fold. I should have realized everyone on these boards is a know-it-all. Can't judge if it is really called psychodrama as I know over here (eg within CBT) it is called differently and certainly not psychodrama but right now I am not bothered to get up and look it up (but know that it has a different name as in my first year uni I wrote about that method within an essay). What makes me laugh is that you dare to judge us on getting off on emotional abuse and on putting others down when actually you try to categorise all subs into abuse victims. Newsflash I know myself in bottled-up mode and in the mode where I worked through my less easy episodes in life and I can't see here much of bottling up going on...quite frankly I disgree of labelling people how you do as there is no one size fits all, a la you are a sub so you have to have been through sexual abuse. Similar nonsense I heard within uni at times how "oh so wise" uni mates and colleagues on placement make generalised statements, a la women who experienced domestic violence are bad mothers and people who got abused are going to abuse as well....because quite frankly what you lot don't consider is the huge amount of unknown victims who aren't in those oh so wise studies...and therefore quite frankly I give a shit on whatever studies anyone dares to come up to me with in regards to victims of abuse as they aren't representative for me considering the huge unknown numbers of victims who aren't in there. At the end of the day it always depends on it how well a person worked through their problems and not just on whateve the problem they had to deal with in the first place. So whoever wants to place such labels onto what you call survivor is well adviced to stay away from me unless they are ready for an indepth debate with well back upped arguments [>:]

WhipTheHip -> RE: Any survivor want to release anger (9/20/2010 10:40:34 AM)
LadyHibiscus wrote: quote: Nonetheless, if I have any kind of residual anger to release, it will not be directed at some stranger! That's just perpetuating the cycle of abuse! Taking anger out on a consenting submissive adult masochist is not perpetuating the cycle of abuse! Only someone mentally retarded or deranged would make such a claim. It is too bad you dont understand the true meaning of perpetuating the cycle of abuse. It is taking out your anger on someone physically or emotionally who did not consent. If it is consensual, and mutually beneficial, then it is not abuse. Those who think it is suffer from some form of mental retardation.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Any survivor want to release anger (9/20/2010 10:43:13 AM)
Nice to know that we are all retards.

WhipTheHip -> RE: Any survivor want to release anger (9/20/2010 10:45:10 AM)
PeanutTigerinBox wrote: quote: when actually you try to categorise all subs into abuse victims. I *N E V E R* made that claim. You really need to stop taking those hulicinagenic drugs. PeanutTigerinBox weren't you the one who said it is okay for husbands to beat their wives. Maybe Im confusing you with someone else, here. Please clarify your position.

sexyred1 -> RE: Any survivor want to release anger (9/20/2010 10:45:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip LadyHibiscus wrote: quote: Nonetheless, if I have any kind of residual anger to release, it will not be directed at some stranger! That's just perpetuating the cycle of abuse! Taking anger out on a consenting submissive adult masochist is not perpetuating the cycle of abuse! Only someone mentally retarded or deranged would make such a claim. It is too bad you dont understand the true meaning of perpetuating the cycle of abuse. It is taking out your anger on someone physically or emotionally who did not consent. If it is consensual, and mutually beneficial, then it is not abuse. Those who think it is suffer from some form of mental retardation. Your entire premise of this thread is completely flawed for one simple reason. You are using the word anger in conjunction with BDSM. If you are so stupid to not realize that these are mutually exclusive, then there is no hope for you. And you can keep attacking all the women, Domme or sub you like, but all you are doing is showing yourself in a cliche ridden manner; the manner of men who use the "you must be really hurt so now you are bitter and angry" card when you don't get buy in on your opinion or when you are frustrated or rejected. Try to learn the difference between the words anger, abuse and BDSM, none of them are synonymous.

PeanutTigerinBox -> RE: Any survivor want to release anger (9/20/2010 10:53:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip PeanutTigerinBox wrote: quote: when actually you try to categorise all subs into abuse victims. I *N E V E R* made that claim. You really need to stop taking those hulicinagenic drugs. PeanutTigerinBox weren't you the one who said it is okay for husbands to beat their wives. Maybe Im confusing you with someone else, here. Please clarify your position. point taken, you didn't say it that way but you still categorised that "survivors are supposed to repress and bottle-up their anger, and turn it inward where it becomes self-hate and leads to depression" which is a similar example...as again, there is no "automatic" behavioural response to it. Just because some people might suffer from borderline syndrome and whatever other possible conditions after such an event doesn't mean that people almost automatically behave like that... and quite frankly, the one who sniffs too much on hallucinating drugs is obviously you as I would never agree to it that it would be ok for guys to beat their girls, nice try snort [8\|]

PeanutTigerinBox -> RE: Any survivor want to release anger (9/20/2010 10:55:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 quote: ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip LadyHibiscus wrote: quote: Nonetheless, if I have any kind of residual anger to release, it will not be directed at some stranger! That's just perpetuating the cycle of abuse! Taking anger out on a consenting submissive adult masochist is not perpetuating the cycle of abuse! Only someone mentally retarded or deranged would make such a claim. It is too bad you dont understand the true meaning of perpetuating the cycle of abuse. It is taking out your anger on someone physically or emotionally who did not consent. If it is consensual, and mutually beneficial, then it is not abuse. Those who think it is suffer from some form of mental retardation. Your entire premise of this thread is completely flawed for one simple reason. You are using the word anger in conjunction with BDSM. If you are so stupid to not realize that these are mutually exclusive, then there is no hope for you. And you can keep attacking all the women, Domme or sub you like, but all you are doing is showing yourself in a cliche ridden manner; the manner of men who use the "you must be really hurt so now you are bitter and angry" card when you don't get buy in on your opinion or when you are frustrated or rejected. Try to learn the difference between the words anger, abuse and BDSM, none of them are synonymous. [sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=goodpost.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif]

WhipTheHip -> RE: Any survivor want to release anger (9/20/2010 10:55:33 AM)
sexyred1 wrote: quote: You are using the word anger in conjunction with BDSM. Here is an experiment for you to try. Search females on collarme.com and see how many have the word anger or rage in their profile. Then apologize to me, kiss my feet, bend over and get your punishment . . . . Just kidding. De Nile is not just a river in Egypt. There are a lot of people in BDSM who have a lot of anger and rage, who subconsciously use BDSM to express it. Many subs turn their anger inward at themselves, where it turns to self-hate, self-loathing, shame and guilt and feel a constant need to be punished for it. You and your fellow cohorts can deny this all you like, but it doesn't make it any less true.

WhipTheHip -> RE: Any survivor want to release anger (9/20/2010 10:58:05 AM)
PeanutTigerinBox quote: "survivors are supposed to repress and bottle-up their anger, Nope, I never said that either. I believe the exact opposite. Survivors are not supposed to repress and bottle up their anger. That is very unhealthy. Here is some helpful advice for those here who wish to attack me. First get my position straight so you can know what position to attack. Or you might end up like this poster accidently agreeing with me.

mnottertail -> RE: Any survivor want to release anger (9/20/2010 10:59:11 AM)
I survived the horror of the birth canal. I release anger everytime I take a piss. (Blowjobs work alot better though).

stef -> RE: Any survivor want to release anger (9/20/2010 11:01:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip Survivors are not supposed to repress and bottle up their anger. That is very unhealthy. It's certainly more healthy than going to a predator pretending to be someone looking to "help" them. ~stef

sexyred1 -> RE: Any survivor want to release anger (9/20/2010 11:01:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip sexyred1 wrote: quote: You are using the word anger in conjunction with BDSM. Here is an experiment for you to try. Search females on collarme.com and see how many have the word anger or rage in their profile. Then apologize to me, kiss my feet, bend over and get your punishment . . . . Just kidding. De Nile is not just a river in Egypt. There are a lot of people in BDSM who have a lot of anger and rage, who subconsciously use BDSM to express it. Many subs turn their anger inward at themselves, where it turns to self-hate, self-loathing, shame and guilt and feel a constant need to be punished for it. You and your fellow cohorts can deny this all you like, but it doesn't make it any less true. I don't need to do any experiments. I stay away from people if I have an inkling that they are angry and would be using this as an excuse to work out that anger. I have been into this my entire life and can honestly tell you that neither I nor many people I have encountered use BDSM to express anger, consciously or unconsciously. There are always some in every type of group on the planet that do one thing or another, but to paint everyone the same is dangerous and self serving. Which is my point about your thread. You are seeking approval on a self serving agenda which no one agrees with. You are completely discounting the myriad reasons why most people are into BDSM. Some love it for sexual reason, some for structure, for service, for fun. If someone is using BDSM as an expression of anger or self hatred, then it is abusive. This is what you are not getting and you are the one riding down the river of denial. Please get a clue; it is getting tiresome to point out the flaws in your argument.

BonesFromAsh -> RE: Any survivor want to release anger (9/20/2010 11:09:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin quote: Ive been doing it for twenty five years. Because you have chosen to avoid answering my questions and I am left to simply do the math, unless I am mistaken you began doing this at the age of 17...which leads me to conclude that there was no formal education or training that pre-qualified you to act as a psychotherapist. Having much experience working in a professional setting with survivors myself, I have to say that your methodology scares the living crap out of me. Believe me, you're not alone. I've asked the OP twice in this thread for documentation and proof of professional experience along with reminding him of my questions when he sent me a PM. His MO is quite clear....avoidance of any legitimite questions and self-rightous puff and nonsense when people disagree with his "therapeutic bdsm" approach. OP...leave treatment to trained professionals.

LadyPact -> RE: Any survivor want to release anger (9/20/2010 11:12:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip Did it ever occur to you that I don't give a flying shit what you think? You have no idea what my qualifications are. You are free to believe what you like. I often tell people with closed minds what they want to hear because I know it will do not good to tell them anything else. Over the course of my life, I have counseled hundreds of survivors. Many told me I helped more in a few hours than all the therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists they had seen their entire lives. Those who told me this had been getting professional help since they were little children. Most who post here, ought to spend more time looking at themselves, and judging themselves than judging others. I honestly do feel sorry for you. You must have been hurt pretty bad to have this much pent-up rage and hostility toward someone you have never met. Abuse leads to hostility, distrust and cynicism. Those who post here peg my meter on all three. Peace and love to you. There isn't one word of rage, anger, or hostility in anything I have written on this thread. It is My opinion that tops (be they Dominant or submissive) have no place taking their anger or repressed issues out on another human being. I'm not alone in that opinion. I'll be more than happy to pull five non fiction books off of My shelf and quote you with page numbers where various authors have said so. If you want to put up a smoke screen attempting to get others to believe that this is due to some kind of emotional reaction, I'm sorry, but you failed. You are not in the position to be counseling anyone. Are you licensed in any way? That's a rhetorical question, actually, since I read from one of your own posts that you state you are not. ETA - For the record, My profile does not include the words anger or rage. In fact, My position is, and always has been, that I engage in S/m for fun. I've played and been witnessed playing with enough people on these forums who know that to be the case. If you can verify the same (people that you've engaged in your claims with) I'll be more than happy to listen.

WhipTheHip -> RE: Any survivor want to release anger (9/20/2010 11:15:00 AM)
sexyred1 wrote: quote: If someone is using BDSM as an expression of anger or self hatred, then it is abusive. It is not abusive if it occurs between consenting adults for their mutual benefit. Edge play is abusive and is not sane. Half the things subs ask their Doms to do are abusive. Sewing a sub's vagina shut is not abusive? Skewering her breasts with knitting needles is not abusive? Using her as a human ashtray is not abusive? Cannning her to the point where she is left with permanent scars is not abusive? Branding her is not abusive? Sharing your sub with your friends is not abusive? Why don't you ask any normal human being which is more abusive?

SeparatedSub -> RE: Any survivor want to release anger (9/20/2010 11:18:25 AM)
I agree for once that we all need to get Whip's position straight. Let's make it clear to everyone. I'm happy to translate for him: "...Many subs turn their anger inward at themselves, where it turns to self-hate, self-loathing, shame and guilt..." I seek out these people, as they have esteem issues, a confused sense of boundaries, and are so much easier to manipulate. And that's what I've got to go with, as no sub with self-respect will come anywhere near me.

WhipTheHip -> RE: Any survivor want to release anger (9/20/2010 11:22:32 AM)
Anyone here knows what Argumentum ad verecundiam means? I have credentials and licenses but I don't put any stock in them. I don't think they have any value whatsoever. So you can thnk what you like. I stand by the number of people I have helped. You can believe what you want to believe because you are close-minded, and you wll do so anyway. Even if i trotted out all my degrees, certifications and licenses you would still go on attacking me and positions with the same exact intensity. Who are you fooling?

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