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RE: How do you become a good Dom? - 9/26/2010 8:11:53 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		The Loving Dominant by John Warren .... Read it


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: How do you become a good Dom? - 9/26/2010 8:20:33 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		Alright..who stole his pic and his profile? I wanted to see if he listened to DomImus.

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When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

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RE: How do you become a good Dom? - 9/26/2010 8:28:54 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		OP, I would also strongly suggest that you reconsider your belief that a good dominant is without kindness. Because for many of us, an attitude like that would be an immediate red flag.

Everybody needs kindness, both to give and to get. The porn about the strict, stern master who never smiles and whips the slaves nightly is just that, porn. It is not a good way to establish a relationship. Life throws us curve balls, if you can't see any reason to cut a sub a break when they need one, don't expect to ever get one.


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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: How do you become a good Dom? - 9/26/2010 9:24:12 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit

#4. Don't be greedy or over-estimate your own attractiveness. Submissives are just as shallow as Dominants. If you are a gay man, get in shape. Don't expect to attract someone that is in better shape than you, unless you got a lot of cash and/or an in demand job (Cop, fireman, lawyer, doctor, politician) If you are a straight man under 5'8, your best bet will be overweight women (90% of women want someone tall - even if they are themselves short. Submissive women usually want someone MUCH taller than them). A tall fat man beats a thin short guy (one study found that women would rather date a violent convict than a 5'0" man). Again, a great job/cash may counter this.



The crap that is said on these threads never ceases to amaze me. Total bullshit.

Perhaps you have overestimated your intelligence.

(in reply to StrongSpirit)
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RE: How do you become a good Dom? - 9/26/2010 9:26:15 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		NM

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RE: How do you become a good Dom? - 9/26/2010 9:33:03 PM   
DeusEx1


Posts: 9
Joined: 8/22/2010
Status: offline 		You wish to be a great dominant? First then, you need to be in control of your life before you can even begin to control someone elses. If what I read from other posters is true, you are 18 years old. Most likely at this juncture you have no clue as to what you want with the rest of your life or even how to be in control of your life at this point. That being said, don't you think its a bit unfair to even begin to think you can control someone else without first having control of yourself? Do you have stable income? Your own place? Higher education? Do you have career goals? These are things that should be occupying your life at this point in time. Not some fantasy ideal that you cannot make happen right now because you are not prepared to do so.

(in reply to DomImus)
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RE: How do you become a good Dom? - 9/26/2010 9:53:43 PM   
MarcEsadrian


Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MaverickUnleash

I am currently wondering how you become a dominant in a relationship but so far I have not found anything that can help me with that matter. I'm hoping someone could help me along with this.


Interest beyond the absurdity of pretense for simply creative fucking, and a lot of time, patience and learning. Jump in and do it.

Before trying anything that could potentially kill or maim your ass clapping sex kittens from Gor, do your homework. In my younger days I did a lot of absolutely insane and evil things that could have gone terribly wrong. Thankfully, nothing did, but that doesn't mean one shouldn't keep in mind realities of circulation or locations of vital organs in the body when going full bore with a cane against flesh. That aside, the science of beating people isn't where it's really at, anyway; leadership, influence and filling your own space to a positive affect is.

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Omnes una manet nox

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RE: How do you become a good Dom? - 9/26/2010 9:54:26 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		At least at 18 he knew he didn't know enough to go out and start running another human being's life. He at least asked...

I could think of many "dominant" men in their 50s and 60s that seem clueless, and yet think their age alone qualifies them as experts

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to DeusEx1)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: How do you become a good Dom? - 9/26/2010 10:11:59 PM   
gungadin09


Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit
If you are a straight man under 5'8, your best bet will be overweight women (90% of women want someone tall - even if they are themselves short. Submissive women usually want someone MUCH taller than them)..


Hell, if you're under 5'8", find a short woman and lie to her and say you're over six foot.  She'll never know the difference.  Aside to the wimmins reading this:  My suggestion in no way, shape, or form relates to any other practices that men are alleged to do.



i'm sure You don't need to exaggerate anything, Stevie. No doubt You're very well endowed... in terms of "height".

pam

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: How do you become a good Dom? - 9/27/2010 1:41:47 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		if there is a girl you like... flirt with her... make her feel really good and she might wanna be your girlfriend

if she does wanna be your girlfriend then you can concentrate on being a real good lover to her... if you need tips and she does not know the answers read 'the joy of sex' by Alex Comfort... it is the BEST beginner sex book ever, for both sexes

If you become her hero in shining armour giving her fantastic sexytime and hopefully mind blowing orgasms... she probably will do absolutely anything for you

(in reply to MaverickUnleash)
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RE: How do you become a good Dom? - 9/27/2010 3:20:03 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		Solid response,

Especially:

quote:



However what I can offer you is to never allow another to define for yourself what dominance means to you. Finally never feel any shame when identifying as a man who is dominant, do so without apology, aye! I encourage to forge your own path. Never look back. Above all never forsake your willingness to commit yourself to self-examination with the goal of becoming the dominant man that you were meant to be. Note these are solely personal thoughts that are not at all meant to be an answer for your seeking. Nothing more, nothing less. Iron sharpens Iron, aye!

Take care! [/font]


Quality biblical reference too.




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Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: How do you become a good Dom? - 9/27/2010 6:26:01 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Get a Master's degree!

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"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: How do you become a good Dom? - 9/27/2010 8:26:57 AM   
Zevar


Posts: 801
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

Quality biblical reference too.


Pardon?

(in reply to crazyml)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: How do you become a good Dom? - 9/27/2010 8:38:57 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		"Iron sharpens Iron" is from the book of Proverbs


[Ed to correct spelling of "Proverbs" <- Sheesh!]

< Message edited by crazyml -- 9/27/2010 8:51:48 AM >

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Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: How do you become a good Dom? - 9/27/2010 9:06:17 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MaverickUnleash
1. I enjoy having control. Complete control is how I was taught as a life skill.

As a one liner, the single best advice I've seen on these boards is:

Be the kind of dom that seeks responsibility, not authority."

Your post is all about how you want to control things. So what? You and about 80% of the human race want to control things.

Food for thought.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to MaverickUnleash)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: How do you become a good Dom? - 9/27/2010 9:37:55 AM   
usemetopleaseyou


Posts: 39
Joined: 5/16/2010
Status: offline 		Just grab a sub and play with them as you like. It will make you a better Dom if you can keep a sub happy.

(in reply to DomImus)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: How do you become a good Dom? - 9/27/2010 1:43:56 PM   
Zevar


Posts: 801
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

"Iron sharpens Iron" is from the book of Proverbs


[Ed to correct spelling of "Proverbs" <- Sheesh!]


Indeed the Book of Proverbs does contain those words. In fact the English Standard Version (©2001) says it like this in context: "Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another"

Take note that I was not intending to refer to Biblical content at all in my reply to the Op regarding " How do you become a good Dom?" I was simply illustrating to the Op how that the character of a man can become sharpened by another Dominant man who has been sharpened by another Dominant man, if he chooses so, of course. Nothing more, nothing less.

Take care!

(in reply to crazyml)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: How do you become a good Dom? - 9/27/2010 1:51:42 PM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit

# If you are a straight man under 5'8, your best bet will be overweight women


I'm 5'7 and have one word for that.


BULLSHIT

(in reply to StrongSpirit)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: How do you become a good Dom? - 9/27/2010 2:13:16 PM   
scharma


Posts: 5
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline 		No 1
Be who you want to be

only then progress to No 2
Make her happy as it will be easy

(in reply to MaverickUnleash)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: How do you become a good Dom? - 9/27/2010 2:32:14 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit

# If you are a straight man under 5'8, your best bet will be overweight women


I'm 5'7 and have one word for that.


BULLSHIT


I agree. My Dom is also 5'7", I sure am glad he didn't limit himself to a certain part of the female submissive population because of his height or I'd have been overlooked. The poster who put forth this silly theory has a history of coming up with utterly unfounded gems every once in a while.

OP, you've gotten a lot of good advice here. I commend you in trying to suss out unfamiliar territory in advance in order to try to do the right thing. I'd have to agree with the posters that said to get out and experience things in person, and do your background reading. Good luck!

(in reply to Hillwilliam)
Profile   Post #: 40
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