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RE: Personal Question - 12/28/2010 10:10:16 AM

mbes

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LOL! Ok, on the difficulty scale, I'll agree with you. Marriage is less precise, but it is a LOT harder, (hopefully) lasts longer, and is a heckuva lot messier!

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RE: Personal Question - 12/28/2010 10:33:20 AM

RCdc

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Let's leave the messiness for divorce...

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RE: Personal Question - 12/28/2010 10:39:41 AM

GreedyTop

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*tacklesmooches RC&dc*

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RE: Personal Question - 12/28/2010 11:05:44 AM

LadyPact

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We've had every kind of living situation that you can think of from living together to living a world apart.

Nice to see Rc and Dc posting!

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RE: Personal Question - 12/28/2010 11:13:53 AM

akisha

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We live together. It will be 3 years in March and we got engaged this past November.

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RE: Personal Question - 12/28/2010 3:06:53 PM

leadership527

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Yeah, I can understand why you'd want to know. Carol and I are married and have been for a long time.

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RE: Personal Question - 12/28/2010 3:44:55 PM

CallaFirestormBW

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quote:

Meh.
Well I wouldn't rely on the advice of someone who had never been married on marriage, just as I would listen more to the advice of a doctor than a mechanic if I wanted advice on brain surgery.
So I better get to specsavers.

Yes, but would you accept advice from someone who -had- been married and who was not NOW married -- or the advice of a mechanic who had been a brain surgeon but stopped doing brain surgery because the hospital xhe was in closed and xhe didn't want to pay thousands upon thousands of dollars a month in malpractice insurance premiums? (it's not that far-fetched... more than half of the OB/Gyns in the city that I grew up in quit practice and started doing things like accounting, running a florist's shop, and running a restaurant because of malpractice premiums).

I think this is the point that Sunshinemiss and sexyred1 were making... that we don't -know- what previous experiences people bring, regardless of their current situation, and that, whether or not they're in that situation in the present moment, that doesn't mean that they don't have valuable insights to share.

Calla

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RE: Personal Question - 12/28/2010 4:48:24 PM

barelynangel

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I think experience is very important when you are trying to offer insight about concepts because there is perception in experience that to me is deeper than simple observation and to me if you don't have experience you simply have observation and in many cases its not the same thing as actual perception and many times can lead to misinterpretation. People always have opinions about concepts whether its based on experience or simply observation or research. But sometimes you do need to decipher between book smarts and street smarts so to speak.

I don't get why anyone would need to be offended with anything in this thread, if you don't need to be validated by strangers, what do you care how they determine credibility?

OP, When i was with my Master we lived together for almost 8 years as M/s. Neither of us were online and met the old fashion way, he saw me, wanted me, and set out to obtain me. I did live with a bf i met online and moved to TN to be with but we weren't M/s or D/s.

angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 12/28/2010 4:54:05 PM >

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RE: Personal Question - 12/28/2010 5:39:07 PM

subforherMaster

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In short, it was just a question. Short sighted as some have pointed out, but not meant to hurt or offend anyone. For those who can see where it was a bit relevant, thank you.

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RE: Personal Question - 12/28/2010 11:55:15 PM

sunshinemiss

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW

quote:

Meh.
Well I wouldn't rely on the advice of someone who had never been married on marriage, just as I would listen more to the advice of a doctor than a mechanic if I wanted advice on brain surgery.
So I better get to specsavers.

Yes, but would you accept advice from someone who -had- been married and who was not NOW married -- or the advice of a mechanic who had been a brain surgeon but stopped doing brain surgery because the hospital xhe was in closed and xhe didn't want to pay thousands upon thousands of dollars a month in malpractice insurance premiums? (it's not that far-fetched... more than half of the OB/Gyns in the city that I grew up in quit practice and started doing things like accounting, running a florist's shop, and running a restaurant because of malpractice premiums).

I think this is the point that Sunshinemiss and sexyred1 were making... that we don't -know- what previous experiences people bring, regardless of their current situation, and that, whether or not they're in that situation in the present moment, that doesn't mean that they don't have valuable insights to share.

Calla

Quite right, Calla. And frankly, perhaps the wisest person would be someone who failed and had learned the lesson.

There was a story told on West Wing that went something like this.

A guy falls into a hole and can't get out. A doctor walks by, and the guy says, "Hey doc, can you help me out?" And the doctor writes him a prescription and throws it down into the hole then goes on his way. Then a priest walks by, and the guy says, "Hey, padre, can you help me out?" And the priest prays for him, makes the sign of the cross and goes on his way. Finally one of his friends walks by and he says, "hey buddy can you help me out?" The friend jumps into the hole. He says, "What's wrong with you? Now both of us are down here in this hole." The friend says, "Yeah, but I've been here before, and I know the way out."

best,
sunshine

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RE: Personal Question - 12/29/2010 9:48:16 AM

hlen5

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

.................There was a story told on West Wing that went something like this.

A guy falls into a hole and can't get out. A doctor walks by, and the guy says, "Hey doc, can you help me out?" And the doctor writes him a prescription and throws it down into the hole then goes on his way. Then a priest walks by, and the guy says, "Hey, padre, can you help me out?" And the priest prays for him, makes the sign of the cross and goes on his way. Finally one of his friends walks by and he says, "hey buddy can you help me out?" The friend jumps into the hole. He says, "What's wrong with you? Now both of us are down here in this hole." The friend says, "Yeah, but I've been here before, and I know the way out."

best,
sunshine

Great story, Sunny!!

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RE: Personal Question - 12/29/2010 1:09:02 PM

RCdc

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW

quote:

Meh.
Well I wouldn't rely on the advice of someone who had never been married on marriage, just as I would listen more to the advice of a doctor than a mechanic if I wanted advice on brain surgery.
So I better get to specsavers.

Yes, but would you accept advice from someone who -had- been married and who was not NOW married -- or the advice of a mechanic who had been a brain surgeon but stopped doing brain surgery because the hospital xhe was in closed and xhe didn't want to pay thousands upon thousands of dollars a month in malpractice insurance premiums? (it's not that far-fetched... more than half of the OB/Gyns in the city that I grew up in quit practice and started doing things like accounting, running a florist's shop, and running a restaurant because of malpractice premiums).

I think this is the point that Sunshinemiss and sexyred1 were making... that we don't -know- what previous experiences people bring, regardless of their current situation, and that, whether or not they're in that situation in the present moment, that doesn't mean that they don't have valuable insights to share.

Calla

What was being intimated by both posters, Calla, was understood, as was the intention of the OP as they were all addressed by the posters. It really wasn't difficult to comprehend, although your further explaination was appriciated as it is also understood you are being helpful.

We do not post questions here (on the whole) exactly for the reason you give. If we have them, we rely on people that we know and their situations that we are aware of - or professionals. And in answer to your surmise - no I wouldn't take advice from a mechanic who had been a brain surgeon other than a token gesture. I would want something relevant and in the now, not a past experience based on older methods - and I wouldn't feel bad for asking why they were not a brain surgeon anymore. Not that brain surgery is in any way similar to being married as I was joking with mbes... but I do not see why people need to feel insulted just because a person may wish to relate to someone in a similar position to them (not that the OP suggested that IMO), rather than someone who isn't there in that position. It doesn't belittle their previous experiences and there is going to be some value in their ideas but it certainly isn't the same as someone living that experience in the current climate.

I do not see why a person, in this case the OP, should apologise for asking such a simple question and like Jeff, I can understand why the question was asked.

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RE: Personal Question - 12/29/2010 1:54:14 PM

LadyPact

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I don't think that offense was meant to be implied. Sometimes, folks see things in a different way and they may feel that an apology is warranted.

Some time back, I created a thread that had something to do with resources. The basic gist of it was, just how long does it take for a person around here to get a good feeling on who to approach about certain topics. I think we can all agree that there is good information and bad information on the net on just about everything. It can take a while to sift through that and know who might be a good person to ask a question or what areas certain people are known to have a niche for.

Six months might not be long enough for a person who only gets to these boards once in a while to know who the 'go to' person(s) are on a certain subject. They don't always catch that one time that a person says that they screwed up out of the thousand times they've said what a good Dom/sub/whatever they try to portray themselves to be.

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RE: Personal Question - 12/29/2010 2:03:05 PM

RCdc

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Regards to you LadyPact.

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RE: Personal Question - 12/29/2010 2:39:44 PM

Lucienne

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subforherMaster

For those willing to answer, i appreciate Y/your respones. Quite a few of Y/you on this site profess to be or have eluded to be in a current D/s and/or M/s relationship with another on this site. How many of Y/you live together or spend more than the occasional weekend together.

Ok... am I the only one who read this question as her asking for couples, both of whom are on this site, to identify themselves? I didn't think she was insulting everyone who isn't currently in a relationship, or asking everyone who's in a relationship to identify how much time they spend with their partner in meat space. Sometimes y'all are a little sensitive.

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