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RE: Suggestions for collarme - 10/5/2010 11:47:51 AM

barelynangel

Posts: 6233
Status: offline

Rating is silly to me. It's a form of bullying to me and unless you have the ability for both sides to be heard. Otherwise it's akin to black listing. And I think people would misuse it and it would become like a popularity contest. If u want to create a board on peoples profiles for comments that the profile person can control that would be fun for a lot of people.

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(in reply to barelynangel)

Post #: 41

RE: Suggestions for collarme - 10/5/2010 12:56:39 PM

SaharahEve

Posts: 231
Joined: 6/25/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: diablarosa

I noticed collarme is looking for suggestions. A few thoughts of my own...

1. Give us users the ability to create and maintain our own chat groups, like on fetlife.

2. Give us more options for our profile orientations. Dominant, submissive, slave and switch just doesn't seem to be enough.

3. It would be cool to have more formatting control of our profiles.

4. Try to get rid of the spam and troll accounts.

Just off the top of my head...I'm sure I can think of more.

Not a bad. Like others here, I'm not particularly crazy about Fetlife's color choices; black and red is so BDSM cliché. I do believe Collar Me needs an upgrade, overall, however. I would list my suggestions, but then I already made a post about this very subject on my blog almost a week ago: http://saharaheve.com/blog/

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(in reply to diablarosa)

Post #: 42

RE: Suggestions for collarme - 10/5/2010 12:58:42 PM

samboct

Posts: 1817
Joined: 1/17/2007
Status: offline

"To me, grown ups should be capable of blocking people they no longer wish to receive mail from."

Actually, I'd consider it sufficient to tell someone that I've moved on to other challenges and suggest they do the same. Who knows- in 6 months they may have something interesting to share?

However, the problem remains that some users receive too much mail and other users are frustrated that polite emails go unanswered. The current status quo is not optimal.

Also your comment about a popularity contest...how?

Let's say I send you an email and you rate it a plus 1 because I'm such a thoughtful and lovable guy. Only if the rating identifies you in some fashion does it become a popularity contest- otherwise, it's simply a sign to others that I can send a reasonable email. How exactly is this a popularity contest? Amassing the most points? Then cap it at 20 or something similar. All I'm looking for is a way for users to identify the people whose interaction is limited to sending aggressive emails from the users that are looking for a more in depth interaction.

If this site is going to remain viable, it needs to have people on it that like it and can recommend it to others. While anarchy may be intellectually appealing from a libertarian standpoint, in practice, rules of etiquette evolved to assist human interactions- which desperately need all the help they can get. My assumption is trying to translate some rules of etiquette from the real world to the virtual forum here would be a positive change.

Sam

< Message edited by samboct -- 10/5/2010 1:00:02 PM >

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 43

RE: Suggestions for collarme - 10/5/2010 2:54:27 PM

PyrotheClown

Posts: 1950
Joined: 5/18/2009
Status: offline

beer for every one!

(in reply to samboct)

Post #: 44

RE: Suggestions for collarme - 10/5/2010 5:39:47 PM

gungadin09

Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline

Personally, i would like to get rid of the "who's viewing me" thing.

pam

(in reply to barelynangel)

Post #: 45

RE: Suggestions for collarme - 10/5/2010 5:40:19 PM

Twoshoes

Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline

I'm viewing you, pam.

*wave*

(in reply to gungadin09)

Post #: 46

RE: Suggestions for collarme - 10/5/2010 6:56:13 PM

Anaxagoras

Posts: 3086
Joined: 5/9/2009
From: Eire
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I hate fetlife... my suggestion would be to go no where near being like fetlife! We have chat rooms here, we have profiles that are far easier to use than fetlife and we can start a thread that goes on for years, with people chatting away on whatever topic they created. All without black pages and having to join a sect or searching all over hell to find them. I love the search here, everything and everyone is easy to find!

I love the new mail features! Thank you CM! The email features here are far superior to anywhere, any networking site or chat/board site I have been to!

Please don't change too much!

Don't know if many saw clip on Youtube which I had posted on my journal too: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ga8bd31t3JI from a girl giving out about Collar Me. "Collar Me is a joke, it is a riot" etc. She gives out about the site pretty intensely. It seems that a certain sort of snob likes Fetlife. Personally I didn't really like it and closed my account. I like Collarme although feel pretty sore about two threads I contributed to that were deleted today. lol I would prefer to see less big ads and a bit more flexibility but its still a nice site IMHO.

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 47

RE: Suggestions for collarme - 10/5/2010 7:09:45 PM

Anaxagoras

Posts: 3086
Joined: 5/9/2009
From: Eire
Status: offline

An interesting idea to rate PMs. One of the most critical things I think Collar Me could do is have a separate classification for professional and financial/tribute domination especially with regard to dommes. It’s a shame there isn't a pro section like other BDSM meeting sites such as Informed Consent as its tiresome reading a profile and then finding they are pro's.

There are loads of profiles featuring pictures of young women around 20-24 years of age demanding that you must follow their commands, which often means joining a fee site after a brief chat. There should be more careful screening of these.

The issue of tribute or financial blackmail is a shady area. No doubt some will feel it is perfectly legitimate and wouldn't qualify as being professional. That is true but I have to say it is very much open to abuse by fake dommes (I imagine its kind of a free shopping money hooray! attitude) and perhaps dedicated scammers so maybe should be put with pro's too.

(in reply to samboct)

Post #: 48

RE: Suggestions for collarme - 10/5/2010 7:19:33 PM

Anaxagoras

Posts: 3086
Joined: 5/9/2009
From: Eire
Status: offline

I feel there should be two sub-categories: dom-switch and sub-switch for those who are strictly switches but have a certain preference one way or another. A fair number of profiles feature people that are of course listed as dom/me, sub or switch but the reality is more complex and two sub-categories like the above (while still under switch in searches perhaps) would clarify things quite a bit.

One last thing which seems like a big oversight is having a black race category. There is only Afro-American AFAIK. I was speaking with a black girl from England recently who said that it was the only category she could choose besides "other"!

(in reply to Anaxagoras)

Post #: 49

RE: Suggestions for collarme - 10/5/2010 8:20:56 PM

VideoAdminAlpha

Posts: 3876
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline

Please try the chat page again. There WAS an intermittent problem with it loading;we think we have fixed that.

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You can't please all the people all of the time.Unfortunately there are times you cannot please any of them :( You can only do your best, and hope they realize that.

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Post #: 50

RE: Suggestions for collarme - 10/5/2010 8:22:28 PM

VideoAdminAlpha

Posts: 3876
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline

Aww damn babe, I missed the date part.........Im game if you are.....we just gotta figure out a way

_____________________________

You can't please all the people all of the time.Unfortunately there are times you cannot please any of them :( You can only do your best, and hope they realize that.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 51

RE: Suggestions for collarme - 10/5/2010 9:42:10 PM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

~FR~
I may be the only one, but I wish they would lighten up on the moderation...lighten WAAAAAY up.

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(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 52

RE: Suggestions for collarme - 10/5/2010 11:53:49 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

~FR~

One thing I would like to see is the ability to choose multiple locations for searches without having to do a back and forth thing..

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Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
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(in reply to Arpig)

Post #: 53

RE: Suggestions for collarme - 10/6/2010 5:08:42 AM

hertz

Posts: 1315
Joined: 8/7/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

Rating is silly to me. It's a form of bullying to me and unless you have the ability for both sides to be heard. Otherwise it's akin to black listing. And I think people would misuse it and it would become like a popularity contest. If u want to create a board on peoples profiles for comments that the profile person can control that would be fun for a lot of people.

This.

Rating is way too open to abuse. It isn't too difficult to imagine users with an agenda getting together with the express purpose of bullying other members by using the rating tool to attack them. Or users conspiring to bump up each others rating in order to improve their apparent standing in the community.

I would ban one-liners. One-liners are rarely about making a sensible contribution, and are the favoured tool of Trolls. This could possibly be fixed automatically with a minimum post length feature - but that has its own problems. I can't see that the Mods, who are already pretty busy and working for love, having the time to respond to One-liners through a reporting system. Unless this was just a hard limit, with all reported One-liners being deleted as a matter of policy, which would make the Moderation job much easier to manage,

Regarding the use of Moderation to delete posts, if people are unhappy with the way moderation happens, then surely the problem isn't the Moderation as much as the TOS. Moderation is about applying the rules defined in the TOS. In my opinion, the TOS are fine. People who deliberately attack others should find their posts removed.

(in reply to barelynangel)

Post #: 54

RE: Suggestions for collarme - 10/6/2010 7:44:21 AM

samboct

Posts: 1817
Joined: 1/17/2007
Status: offline

With respect to ratings-

It strikes me that the idea of users conspiring is a bit paranoid. Furthermore, it's easily fixed- you're only allowed to rate a person's email once or assign them a single rating- hence no bumping by repeated mails.

In terms of one liners- from my perspective- this is a dreadful error. When email exchanges actually lead to meetings, often there are a lot of one line emails exchanged- it's a way of being humorous or snarky. I would definitely NOT go there.

Sam

(in reply to hertz)

Post #: 55

RE: Suggestions for collarme - 10/6/2010 8:04:24 AM

hertz

Posts: 1315
Joined: 8/7/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: samboct

With respect to ratings-

It strikes me that the idea of users conspiring is a bit paranoid. Furthermore, it's easily fixed- you're only allowed to rate a person's email once or assign them a single rating- hence no bumping by repeated mails.

In terms of one liners- from my perspective- this is a dreadful error. When email exchanges actually lead to meetings, often there are a lot of one line emails exchanged- it's a way of being humorous or snarky. I would definitely NOT go there.

Sam

Some confusion. I can see now that you were specifically talking about mail. I agree with your basic premise. One liners in email are not necessarily a problem.

I was thinking about the forums, where I have seen approve/disapprove systems used elsewhere with varying success. I don't think it is paranoid to think that some users might be tempted to abuse any system employed. I have seen many, many occasions where personal feelings about other users has stretched into deliberate attempts to undermine and bully, even to the point of seeking people out in order to counter-post against them. And in forums, I find myself quite sure that the value of one-liners is pretty low, generally.

I guess my main concern with what you are suggesting in regard to email is that it would be difficult to weed out sock-puppet accounts created with the express purpose of inflating a user's score in order to boost a profile's apparent legitimacy (or whatever). If a system can be cheated, it probably will be, and that serves only to undermine the whole venture.

< Message edited by hertz -- 10/6/2010 8:05:34 AM >

(in reply to samboct)

Post #: 56

RE: Suggestions for collarme - 10/6/2010 8:28:15 AM

Bella1965

Posts: 285
Joined: 12/12/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

G'morning all:

(Fast Reply)

I'm all in favor of updating search functions; multiple states, orientations, designations, ethnicities, sexual proclivities, etc. This way, the back and forth to view different aspects is eliminated. It would also give people more choices for identifying themselves to others.

Regarding ratings, troll, fakes; that's ice skating uphill. A very slippery slope. Who's to judge who's real or not? Hmm? Several posters pointed out the report feature. Use it. Block, ignore, hide profile. All features to employ if you don't wish to interact with certain "special" individuals. Most of the suggestions stated are user responsibility. Be accountable for yourself and don't attempt to create blacklists. There are reasons those actions are not permitted here; forums, chats, or personals.

Pertaining to the advertisements some posters complained about; how do you think this site remains free for users? Hmm? Aside from fees incurred in certain portions of the site, the site providers must generate revenue somehow to keep the site operational. Part of those operating costs are deferred by those annoying advertisements people bitch about. Learn to ignore them, no matter how distasteful you find them. Otherwise, feel free to dig into your pockets and help the site keep afloat.

Stay safe, play nice & share your toys w/ others...

Bella

_____________________________

Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly shouting..."Wow! What a ride!

(in reply to samboct)

Post #: 57

RE: Suggestions for collarme - 10/6/2010 9:02:37 AM

Anaxagoras

Posts: 3086
Joined: 5/9/2009
From: Eire
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bella1965

Regarding ratings, troll, fakes; that's ice skating uphill. A very slippery slope. Who's to judge who's real or not? Hmm? Several posters pointed out the report feature. Use it. Block, ignore, hide profile. All features to employ if you don't wish to interact with certain "special" individuals. Most of the suggestions stated are user responsibility. Be accountable for yourself and don't attempt to create blacklists. There are reasons those actions are not permitted here; forums, chats, or personals.

Pertaining to the advertisements some posters complained about; how do you think this site remains free for users? Hmm? Aside from fees incurred in certain portions of the site, the site providers must generate revenue somehow to keep the site operational. Part of those operating costs are deferred by those annoying advertisements people bitch about. Learn to ignore them, no matter how distasteful you find them. Otherwise, feel free to dig into your pockets and help the site keep afloat.

Bella

Hi Bella,

You are right to point out that there are dangers invoved with rating people. If it is done it should be done with great care to ensure any potential abuse is minimal. The rating emails idea that Sam advocates has merit but my concern with is that it can be very subjective and if a message is abusive it can be reported. I wonder could it be a feature that is introduced when a number of messages have been exchanged and some better judgement of the other person is established?

I do of course agree that Collarme needs these adverts to pay for running costs. I was referring especially to the (usually) big advert image that is placed in the middle of each profile. It would be nice if the images were a bit more peripheral IMO.

(in reply to Bella1965)

Post #: 58

RE: Suggestions for collarme - 10/6/2010 10:04:29 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hertz
I guess my main concern with what you are suggesting in regard to email is that it would be difficult to weed out sock-puppet accounts created with the express purpose of inflating a user's score in order to boost a profile's apparent legitimacy (or whatever). If a system can be cheated, it probably will be, and that serves only to undermine the whole venture.

This is a very real concern. I noticed earlier that someone mentioned that it was paranoid, but the truth is this is something that a number of women have already had difficulties with in the past. A woman blocks someone on email that is bothering her and the guy just creates another account. A number of women have had the electronic version of stalkers on the site. It is a real concern.

_____________________________

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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to hertz)

Post #: 59

RE: Suggestions for collarme - 10/6/2010 10:09:46 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

~FR!

Hertz~

MY ADD may be kicking in.. but are you advocatiocating some sort of kicking of one liner POSTS on forums?

Because many of the best posts ARE one liners.. and some folks, like myself, only do one liners..

one liner emails from mst folks are ok.. annoying sometimes, yes.. fine from friends.. ok, from others (if one finds them witty)..

I iz confuzzled..

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 60

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