PeonForHer -> RE: The need to be rude?!? (10/9/2010 9:25:43 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote:
ORIGINAL: PeonForHer I don't think that's going to work. This is because men who act in a decent sort of way assume that everyone - women, and men - will act the same way. I do actually believe that decent men understand thuggish men perhaps even less than women do, in many ways. We don't mix with that sort of man and we don't generally see the results of their thuggishness towards women because that usually happens behind closed doors. Regarding CM and messaging: I think the sad truth of it is a good man won't generally understand that a woman's ignored his polite, friendly first-contact just because his message has come after a long string of one-liners or nasty messages, or because her polite rejection of the last man has led to an aggressive response from him. I can't really go for this, peon. I consider you a reasonable man. I also know this is not the first thread of this type that you've participated on as well as talking with a number of women who have told you about some of the things that come through in email. Considering that you have this information, are you really telling Me that you don't understand why some women do not answer emails? Not at all. I do understand why some women don't answer emails and, with my little experiment under way now with LadyNTrainer, I'm understanding even more. Versus Icarys (from what I read of him, anyway): if I were a woman, I think it actually would be the rational thing to do to ignore cmails much of the time. I don't have the hide of a rhino and I know that women could say some pretty damaging things to me if they wanted to. What I'm trying to explain is why good men won't find it easy to understand. Bear in mind that a) I'm not stupid, b) I was talking to quite a few Dommes (and some femsubs) both here and off the boards for more than a year before c) I finally had some kind of epiphany about what it was all like. It took that experience of that Domme friend of mine to get kicked, really badly, when she already down, to facilitate my getting some kind of grasp on it. The vast majority of men using CM won't have had the learning opportunities that I've had . . . . I was something of an innocent. Actually, I think I probably still am, in many ways. (Hence, partly, my experiment, with LNT's help.) But I think that many men are - if they're good men. My own conclusion - which is slightly depressing but in a somewhat different way to either samboct's or those of the women writing here -, is that women will continue to get hurt by the crap and good men will continue to leave. This is unless, somehow, both the women and the men somehow manage to get tougher, the women teach the men better about what it's like for them, and the men become more receptive to that teaching.
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