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LadyNTrainer -> RE: The need to be rude?!? (10/8/2010 11:10:42 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Icarys
This is kind of what I'm talking about..She's already showing signs of overreacting to the offer and these guys aren't doing any of the hateful things we hear so much about..Granted this is a small fraction of people to take from.
I've had the profile up for only a few minutes, and so far nobody's sent anything all that crude. But yes, I do personally find what has been sent so far pretty depressing.
quote:
I personally think the majority of it is over dramatization of what really happened.
Do you? Try imagining yourself living and working in an exclusively gay district. You're not going to be interested in any of the offers you might get, but you figure it should be easy to blow them off. No big deal, right? You don't want any dick, and it'll get annoying if dick keeps being shoved in your face, but you figure you can deal and not overreact too much.
You do want to make friends in your new town, so you start talking with people about stuff you're interested in. Sports, hiking, news and politics, your favorite hobby, etc. Whatever actually does interest you. But almost every single time you try to start a conversation, the guy talking to you totally ignores everything you actually said and propositions you. Generally he does it in a way that makes it clear that he was not listening to a word you said. You might have even been talking about how much you love your wife, but the first thing out of his mouth after you finish talking is, "Hi, are you single? I'm single, and I'm interested." Or you might have been talking about your experiences in Alcoholics Anonymous, but when you get done talking, he asks if you guys can go to a bar for a drink and to get to know each other better.
It is nearly impossible to have a normal human conversation with any of these people you try to relate to. They ignore everything you say and any overtures of friendship, but they keep trying to talk to you solely for the purpose of getting sex or kinky play. Nobody wants to talk to you as a person or cares what you have to say. They ignore everything you actually say, but they ask if you want to date them or have sex with them. Many of them are not all that explicit in their propositions, but some of them are, and a few get really aggressive and angry when you say no.
Years of this go by, and this is the standard treatment you get from almost everyone in this town you try to communicate with socially. After awhile, how do you think this would impact you?
I can tell you that it did impact me. If you think it's no big deal, I really do wish you the opportunity to walk a mile in these moccasins and see how it feels. I don't know if you actually can know how it feels, since it's unlikely that you will have the experience of being essentially dehumanized and socially ignored while being pursued for sex. That's what it feels like to me to be a woman on an adult site with an A/S/L search function.
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