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RE: The need to be rude?!? - 10/9/2010 9:54:23 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Icarys, it's so rare that you and I actually agree on something. I'm going to need more caffeine.

There isn't a way to know why people mail off rude initial contacts. This isn't the first thread that we've talked about the signal to noise ratio. I have to expect that the problem is just as significant for male Dominants as it is for male submissives. What solves it, I can't say. It is a perpetual cycle, but from My perspective, it really does start from your side of the gender fence.

As for your comments, peon, I'm both sorry and glad at the same time that you are getting this experience. I know perfectly well that you're not stupid and have a bit more information than you're average CM user on the subject. Unlike sam, you did have women on CM that trusted you enough to share excerpts of their online email experience with you. While the experiment while enlighten you further, you still have a barrier. None of those comments that you are receiving are really directed at you.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 201

RE: The need to be rude?!? - 10/9/2010 10:05:49 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

it really does start from your side of the gender fence.

(I figured you'd like that last line as I suspect others will too.

)

If your saying that only females have this problem..Well your wrong...It starts from both sides of the gender fence.

If your speaking strictly from a female to male start then your probably correct..regardless..if a person responds negatively..No mater the reason..It is their responsibility even if you could be pinned as the catalyst. Everyone is responsible for their part though...if they've had a part.

Which includes a profile that says..Fuck Men on this site..Their a bunch of losers.
You'd be pretty stupid in my book if you had an attitude in your profile and expected good results from it.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 202

RE: The need to be rude?!? - 10/9/2010 10:06:02 AM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

None of those comments that you are receiving are really directed at you.

True. All I can do is try to imagine myself being the actual recipient. I've found that that's not quite as hard as I expected, though. I find I have to remind myself that I'm not reading Peon's cmails.

It's proving to be quite a rum experience, actually. I'm flabbergasted by the number of people checking out 'my' profile, for instance. And the one-liners . . . . I mean - not even a lines. Jjust three words? Weird.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 203

RE: The need to be rude?!? - 10/9/2010 10:12:42 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

How many of them are being rude Peon?

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 204

RE: The need to be rude?!? - 10/9/2010 10:13:58 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

it really does start from your side of the gender fence.

Oh and Pact...I thought you were going to start a profile?

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 205

RE: The need to be rude?!? - 10/9/2010 10:19:38 AM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

Peon, people will come and go from this site whether they are the "good," the "bad," or the "ugly." Its all arbitrary. To presume all the "good" men are leaving is ludicrous or however the heck you spell it. On sites like this you have 1000s of people and each person has a concept of what they consider good or bad or ugly. Therefore, the proportion is not as you seem to want to put it.

Angel,

I didn't put a proportion on that because I've no way of knowing. Could be many, could be few.

[

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to barelynangel)

Post #: 206

RE: The need to be rude?!? - 10/9/2010 10:20:33 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

None of those comments that you are receiving are really directed at you.

True. All I can do is try to imagine myself being the actual recipient. I've found that that's not quite as hard as I expected, though. I find I have to remind myself that I'm not reading Peon's cmails.

It's proving to be quite a rum experience, actually. I'm flabbergasted by the number of people checking out 'my' profile, for instance. And the one-liners . . . . I mean - not even a lines. Jjust three words? Weird.

Aren't you getting the "hi" emails? Those slay me, like we are reading these things in realtime!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 207

RE: The need to be rude?!? - 10/9/2010 10:23:26 AM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

How many of them are being rude Peon?

I haven't checked today, but there weren't any up to last night. Still, early days. I'm waiting with a kind of morbid fascination.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 208

RE: The need to be rude?!? - 10/9/2010 10:25:54 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Do you have a picture up, Peon? For true ickiness you need a picture... so they can call you FAT!!

Dang. I am spending way too much time on the fet troll threads.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 209

RE: The need to be rude?!? - 10/9/2010 10:28:52 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys
(I figured you'd like that last line as I suspect others will too.)

If your saying that only females have this problem..Well your wrong...It starts from both sides of the gender fence.

If your speaking strictly from a female to male start then your probably correct..regardless..if a person responds negatively..No mater the reason..It is their responsibility even if you could be pinned as the catalyst. Everyone is responsible for their part though...if they've had a part.

Which includes a profile that says..Fuck Men on this site..Their a bunch of losers.
You'd be pretty stupid in my book if you had an attitude in your profile and expected good results from it.

I probably shouldn't have made My prior comment sound as though I was putting forward an absolute. I will apologize for that, as I know it's not the complete picture. I realize that men get unwanted stuff as well, but you do get less of it because you get less email on the whole.

I'll absolutely give you that males get more mail that is the scam type. (The slaves from Nigeria or financial Dommes looking for customers.) I don't get nearly the amount of that as either MP or clip. Every once in a while, I'll get scam stuff, but the percentages differ because of the volume of total mail. Plus, I'm not the target. I don't think I've received any since the new spam filter was put in. Thank you, CM!

As to being the catalyst, I'd say that depends on how you look at it. Am I going to respond to the email I get from Delaware from a guy who did write a nice email, even though I'm in CA and say in My profile that I'm only interested in interacting with people from the forums or who are local to Me? Probably not. I figure, I provided that information to begin with. If he wasted his time contacting Me after knowing that, he shouldn't have expected a reply in the first place.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 210

RE: The need to be rude?!? - 10/9/2010 10:31:11 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys
Oh and Pact...I thought you were going to start a profile?

Why do I get the feeling that you made this comment just so I could say that you are rude for not answering your email?

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 211

RE: The need to be rude?!? - 10/9/2010 10:36:54 AM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Aren't you getting the "hi" emails? Those slay me, like we are reading these things in realtime!

Yep!

I've had a smattering of those as Peon, actually - always from bi or gay men.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 212

RE: The need to be rude?!? - 10/9/2010 10:39:43 AM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Do you have a picture up, Peon? For true ickiness you need a picture... so they can call you FAT!!

Maybe I should put up that pic I used to use as an avatar of my back and top of my butt. That could be fun. Heh . . . .

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 213

RE: The need to be rude?!? - 10/9/2010 10:57:50 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

Oh I would have been much more clever than that

..seriously did you send me an email? Cause I haven't seen one.

< Message edited by Icarys -- 10/9/2010 11:04:54 AM >

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 214

RE: The need to be rude?!? - 10/9/2010 11:00:17 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

Probably not. I figure, I provided that information to begin with. If he wasted his time contacting Me after knowing that, he shouldn't have expected a reply in the first place.

Sure no problem with that but if he sends you a nasty email don't be surprised or upset because from his possible standpoint..You might have been rude..Maybe he missed it..Maybe he DID think he could persuade you...Maybe he was just wanting to say hello and be friends.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 215

RE: The need to be rude?!? - 10/9/2010 11:04:12 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

How many of them are being rude Peon?

I haven't checked today, but there weren't any up to last night. Still, early days. I'm waiting with a kind of morbid fascination.

I would imagine that's going to be the case from the majority of the days..I don't doubt it goes on..just not to the extent that some want you to believe. That's where the drama queen thing comes in as far as I'm concerned.

Is it possible that some people are getting more than most..sure but I'd then would have to question the persons profile or how they are responding as much as I'd question the person sending the email.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 216

RE: The need to be rude?!? - 10/9/2010 11:27:10 AM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

Since this discussion started a few days ago, I started my own experiment and replied to all of the emails
I've received. The majority have been one liners from "Hi" to "Nice" to "How are you". I responded in kind.
There were a few "You are the type of submissive I'm looking for, lets be friends and see where it goes."
I thanked them for taking the time to write me, told them that while I was honored to have been
selected, but I had no interest in forming any relationship beyond friendship. I haven't gotten any replies back.
Am I now to think this person rude for not responding? My experiment tells me damned if you do, damned if you dont.
When there is no compatiblity, someone is going to wind up being ignored.

< Message edited by poise -- 10/9/2010 11:28:05 AM >

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 217

RE: The need to be rude?!? - 10/9/2010 11:37:45 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

Oh I would have been much more clever than that ..seriously did you send me an email? Cause I haven't seen one.

Maybe it went to your bulk mail. I'm probably outside of any filters you may have set.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

Sure no problem with that but if he sends you a nasty email don't be surprised or upset because from his possible standpoint..You might have been rude..Maybe he missed it..Maybe he DID think he could persuade you...Maybe he was just wanting to say hello and be friends.

As I said earlier in the thread, I rebuff all of these possibilities by blocking anyone outside of the two categories (from the forums or local to Me) that I mention. People contacting Me don't get that chance after the initial email. There is no reason to subject Myself to it. They are blocked by Me once I've received that first contact.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 10/9/2010 11:40:53 AM >

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 218

RE: The need to be rude?!? - 10/9/2010 11:48:35 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

I have not been rude in a very, very long time.

I am trying to find the rudeness in me and it's hiding but good.

Darn.

I was really hoping for rudeness.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 219

RE: The need to be rude?!? - 10/9/2010 11:49:22 AM

Twoshoes

Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline

I'm really wondering how this thread got to 11 pages...
There isn't even a point to this, cause we all know no one who needs to know is going to read it.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 220

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