CaringandReal
Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Icarys
quote:
Don't take this the wrong way, but your impression of my profile is actually exactly what I hope that the people I don't want to contact me will think.
I don't...It was just my take and I know you've stated that exact thing in your profile...the reason you do it that way but if your getting negative emails and have now closed down your profile..is it really working that well? In my opinion it's not because you don't seemed to thrilled about it.
I think you might be missing out on possible friends as well and truthfully even possible mates that you might have knee-jerked blocked.
Am I really that awful of a guy in your eyes that you wouldn't even want a possible friendship with me?
It won't hurt my feelings..You can answer that if you like.
Ah, now we get to heart of this. Ok, Several points.
While my profile is hidden right now, it won't be forever. I'm just on a vacation, and like most people on vacations, enjoying the hell out of it. So yes, it's working for the purpose I intended it for: to de-stress. I'll be back in the trenches soon enough. :/
I'm honestly not looking for friendship from strangers on a personal-ad site. I'm looking for my next owner. I look for and find friends in other places, where I don't have to be suspicious or mistrusting of the offers of friendship. See DesFTP and others above me, I've had the same experiences as they describe, over and over. But in addition to regarding certain offers of friendship with suspcion, friendship in general is not something very high on my priorities list for this website. I understand it is different for other people. But it's just not me.
I usually have a very good reason for blocking someone. It may be petty, like disliking the male-dom version of whining, but it is seldom knee-jerk. For instance, I blocked you (and also hid you on this forum) for many months for one simple but to me, compelling, reason. There was a thread (actually there were about twenty of them) where everybody and their cousin was chasing around, cruelly insulting, and bullying a new male dominant poster. I was one of the few people who stuck up for him. I did so because at times he expressed some very useful, profound, and correct (in my experience) ideas about master-and-slave relationships and I thought his words added something of considerable value to the forum, depspite the things he did that annoyed the hell out of people (including myself) and I didn't want to see him censored by a hysterical lynch mob who was, at the peak of this so crazy that he couldn't say a single word without them screaming about how evil and wrong that single word was. The hysteria over him, quite frankly was astonishing. I'd seldom seen emotions that obsessive rise that high, and I've been in some very, very bad forums.
You were a part of that group, and well, bullies always seem to get frustrated if there is even one quiet person is sticking up for their chosen victim. I expected to be targeted, and I feared it, but I don't let fears stop me from doing what I thought was appropriate. And so I was. By you, and unprovoked--I had not said anything to you. You went to my profile, you dragged some personal info (as in related to me and not to the discussion at hand) from it and then posted it on the message board with some ridicule in an attempt, I thought, to "prove" that I was unreliable and my arguments invalid: character assassination, in other words, instead of addressing my message and arguing with it directly. That's when I decided you were not worth speaking with and I pre-emptively blocked you and hid you on the forum. I was hurt but I also don't like to engage with people who fight dirty, using tricks like this instead straightforwardly addressing what is actually being said. Months later, when this had blown over and the "undesirable one" had left stopped posting, I went back and tried to find some of those threads and re-read the social intereactions. I ran across the comments you had made about my profile, and while I was still very annoyed at you for having dragged my personal information into the public eye (I have enough of a problem with stalking and harassment as it is), my emotions had cooled a bit, so I unhid you. I wanted to see if you were going to get all jerkish again, or if this had been merely a situational thing. It had slipped my mind that I'd also blocked you at my profile, and when I eventually remembered I thought it was no big deal due to the following reasons: you'd been what I felt was clearly hostile to me and I didn't want to risk your tearing me a new asshole in private. And secondly, as I don't encourage or desire friendships on this website, and make that very clear, why should it matter to either of us if you're blocked or not blocked?
So in answer to your question, yes, I suppose you _were_ that awful of a guy at one time. But primarily it wasn't a "bad guy--you're blocked/good guy--you're not" affair. It was more a "I need to continue doing what I am doing and I don't want to be intimidated from doing so" sort of thing. I know my own emotional limits, what I can take and of what sort and how much before I lose nerve or heart, and, as I didn't want the chance of your potentially further pressing on a sensitive nerve to influence me, I cut off my exposure to you. I hope this isn't TMI, but you did ask and I thought it deserved a decent explanation.
_____________________________
"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo
"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris
|
RE: The need to be rude?!? - 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread