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ORIGINAL: poise

Since this discussion started a few days ago, I started my own experiment and replied to all of the emails
I've received. The majority have been one liners from "Hi" to "Nice" to "How are you". I responded in kind.
There were a few "You are the type of submissive I'm looking for, lets be friends and see where it goes."
I thanked them for taking the time to write me, told them that while I was honored to have been
selected, but I had no interest in forming any relationship beyond friendship. I haven't gotten any replies back.
Am I now to think this person rude for not responding? My experiment tells me damned if you do, damned if you dont.
When there is no compatiblity, someone is going to wind up being ignored.

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Maybe it went to your bulk mail. I'm probably outside of any filters you may have set.

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No "You nasty cunts" yet either...I guess I'll have to try harder.

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5) To Peon's classification scheme....I think that's probably not a bad model of how women operate at a party or a social situation in real life- or hell, maybe another dating site. The problem is that on this site, the response is the same regardless of classification, i.e. no response. It's only if the woman considers you interesting enough to overcome the fear barrier that she'll respond. And on this site, the fear barrier is set so high that in practice, most men can't clear it. So you're left with a site where people say they want to meet others, but they provide no incentive for the reasonable guys to stick around and are left with the creeps

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ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

I'm really wondering how this thread got to 11 pages...
There isn't even a point to this, cause we all know no one who needs to know is going to read it.

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ORIGINAL: Icarys

That's a lot to respond to and since I'm a man of fewer words I'll just say this. I've read your profile and what I get from that is someone who is doing her best to hold up defenses as you've said and "may be doing a much better job at it" than she thinks..so much so that it's working against you. You've also eluded to that..Which is why I don't understand how you would continue doing those things.

I've always thought that you close yourself off way too much to do any good for you or a possible mate. "People that are stuck behind brick walls slowly starve to death."

Here recently it seems like your down on men and maybe think the other side holds better options..Which isn't true...Good people aren't gender specific. Just saying.

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Don't take this the wrong way, but your impression of my profile is actually exactly what I hope that the people I don't want to contact me will think.

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I can't answer for Caring but I have never had a guy write, saying he just wants to be friends, who didn't start asking and saying inappropriate things within two emails. Never and that's eight years on a couple of different sites. Either he starts telling me The Man is a bad dominant and I should abandon my kids to serve his wife and him, or if from a male sub they start asking me to dominate them or recommend a domme in their area which is clear across the continent from me. Those are the most typical, but I've gotten cock shots or shots of his ex naked covered in clothespins also. And I didn't want any of those.

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ORIGINAL: Icarys

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I can't answer for Caring but I have never had a guy write, saying he just wants to be friends, who didn't start asking and saying inappropriate things within two emails. Never and that's eight years on a couple of different sites. Either he starts telling me The Man is a bad dominant and I should abandon my kids to serve his wife and him, or if from a male sub they start asking me to dominate them or recommend a domme in their area which is clear across the continent from me. Those are the most typical, but I've gotten cock shots or shots of his ex naked covered in clothespins also. And I didn't want any of those.

I can imagine you've had a lot of bad emails but you've never met anyone like me I guess..You'll think you have of course because of our interactions here but I don't think you have.

There are a couple of females that I've written to that I have no attraction to at all other than possible friendship. I can't be the only one.

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I have to echo Des's words....I have never had a man write me here and use the phrase of wanting to be my friend who wasn't trying to get into my pants under false pretences. There are several men on this site that I am friends with, but we just started writing back and forth in a friendly manner; they didn't use the tactic of offering friendship as a way to get my guard down. The friendship just developed. Now if anyone uses the 'can we just be friends' line I don't write back again- I've been burned too many times by genuinely expecting friendship, putting my own effort into it, and finding out that it was a ruse.

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

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ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

I'm really wondering how this thread got to 11 pages...
There isn't even a point to this, cause we all know no one who needs to know is going to read it.

While I agree with you that most of the folks who are on the collar chat side of things (non forum participants) probably aren't going to read it, there is still interesting discussion here.  Why not allow folks from a different demographic than their own have information on what it's like from another perspective? 

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It seems to me like Icarys is arguing with people out of boredom.
Other than that, I'm fully interested in the 'other' perspective.

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ORIGINAL: Orchid62

Hello dears,

I haven't been a member very long, yet in the last few days I've getting a lot of rude and impatient emails.

No, my feelings are not hurt, just wondering, does a male sub get so much rejection he is always ready to lash out? Is it built in you psych to revolt when you are not getting your way? Or is it, and the this is my main concern, that nice people bring the worst out of you?

I am nice, not about to change that -thank you-

O.

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If you wrote to a strange woman whom you hadn't had forum discussions with saying you wanted friendship, she would wonder why. I usually don't go up to strangers on the street and say "wow, I have that same book at home, can we be friends because we have so much in common?". And that's why it's so offputting when someone does that here, because it isn't how friendships develop. I've had friendships develop with people I rode the elevator with everyday. It progressed from ignoring each other, to nodding, to commenting on the weather. And then went on to going into the same coffee shop before companionably riding the subway downtown together. A little over time, over months on end. And ended up later that year with a drunken New Year's Eve party I never did remember. But it didn't start with someone asking me out of the blue to be their friend.

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ORIGINAL: Rule

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ORIGINAL: Orchid62
It's hard to see where you are coming from since I have no clue if you are male, female, dominant or submissive, but boy, are you angry or what?

I can see barelynangel's avatar. It has breasts!