WolfyMontgomery
Posts: 234
Joined: 9/28/2010 Status: offline
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I've never had a 'temper' in the sense of what other people think of as tempers. I don't get angry. I get hurt. At the same time though, I have never been anything but an emotional extremist (I really am your traditional Scorpio, I don't do anything mildly ;P). When I get hurt, I get broken. When I do get mad, I get furious. When I am happy, I get ecstatic. The list could go on. Though when I do get mad, that fury often turns to guilt and then makes me rethink myself and why I'm mad and usually I realize very quickly I shouldn't be as angry as I am, and beat myself up over it. When I was younger, I would bottle up my angers and self hate until I exploded in a very dangerous fashion to myself (I think you can guess how). Because of these facts, if I am showing an extreme emotion in any negative way, Master takes notice immediately, and he usually knows that when I start bottling up and being self-hating, it was probably something he did that got me mad that I then got mad at myself over (hawhawhaw... though I'm not actually kidding, it's funny because it's true). Because of the way I show anger though, I have a VERY terrible way of communicating my real issues that cause me to feel this way. Even though my tantrums are not the same as yours, at the same time, we both must figure out ways to properly communicate our feelings. I have needed to force myself to speak about something right when it happens or soon after, so that it is still fresh in my memory and I don't start distorting it to point fault at myself. Often times I have learned that if it hurts me enough at the time, I won't be able to speak the issue, but instead I will write it down as soon as I can so that I can keep it, save it, and either give it to Master to read or reread it and try to talk to him about it on my own. That same thing may work for you as well, though for a different reason. Instead of lashing out in the moment verbally, lash out on a piece of paper, and like everyone said, either rewrite it or after you've gotten all your anger out on that piece of paper, you've hopefully calmed down enough to go and talk rationally again. It helps you really focus your thoughts on the root cause rather than the moment that you happened to break. Worst advice I could ever offer would be to plot it out in your head only, because you'd be surprised just how much your mind distorts things the longer you think about them. You will either make the issue much worse by building on it, or you will hurt yourself by second guessing your own feelings and why you are angry and then in turn get mad at yourself for doing so. Your mind, as much as it is your best friend in logic, is also your worst enemy when it comes to emotional issues.
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~Eleven -A Wolf of a Different Color Fear me and my Gleaming Metal Chompers of DOOM! ..........that means my braces. >_>
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