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RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/16/2010 8:15:01 AM

wandersalone

Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
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Welcome to the forums Darkmatter

What I think you will find is that a lot of profiles ask that if a person doesn't have a photo on their profile that they share one at some stage though email. My profile (before I turned it off) said something similar. The photos I had on my profile were ones that gave people a sense of me eg. the colour of my skin, my build, my hair etc.

It is understandable that not everyone feels comfortable posting photos which could out them in vanilla settings however if you have exchanged a few emails and are thinking of meeting at some stage it would be polite and considerate I feel to then send a photo to the other person.

When I had been looking in the past if someone without a photo on their profile sent me a note which was intriguing in some way and showed they had read my profile I always responded, regardless of if they had a photo on their profile or not

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Post #: 41

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/16/2010 8:45:54 AM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

Haha! If there's one person on this board who gives good advice about how to get laid and/or navigate getting laid on the internet it's this man, darkmatter. If I were you I wouldn't brush him off so easily.

I wouldn't either because we know it's how many women you've sacked and how, that makes the difference in a man.

I'm not sure I have the energy to argue with you today.

You don't take advice from someone because of the man (or woman) they are, you take their advice because of their expertise.

Red's also an awesome guy, but that has nothing to do with this discussion. What's relevant is that he has this internet dating shit pretty well figured out. This would be true even if he were a total arse. Which he isn't, but again that's not relevant.

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Post #: 42

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/16/2010 8:57:49 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

I'm not sure I have the energy to argue with you today.

You don't take advice from someone because of the man (or woman) they are, you take their advice because of their expertise.

Red's also an awesome guy, but that has nothing to do with this discussion. What's relevant is that he has this internet dating shit pretty well figured out. This would be true even if he were a total arse. Which he isn't, but again that's not relevant.

That's fine, Maybe tomorrow...I hope you feel better.
Not even your comment was relevant, though. Nor was Red's.

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Post #: 43

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/16/2010 8:59:08 AM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

I've seen a lot of profiles where the person demands a full body shot, or at the very least a face shot. It isn't all that much of a mystery where their focus is

!

Myself, the only profiles I've ever perved that didn't have a picture were those of people who posted here on the boards. They said something that impressed me or piqued my curiosity.

To use your profile as an effective marketing tool you'll want to utilize as many of the options it provides as possible. If you aren't going to post a picture, then posting here on the message board might prove to be a good work-around. Unless you turn out to be a complete douchecanoe (love that word). In which case, you should definitely post on these boards. I believe in factual advertising.

Welcome aboard and best wishes.

WinD

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

Post #: 44

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/16/2010 9:04:23 AM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

That's fine, Maybe tomorrow...I hope you feel better.

Thanks

quote:

Not even your comment was relevant, though. Nor was Red's.

The OP said this:

quote:

While I understand the intuitive reasoning behind it, the notion that a picture in some way legitimizes a profile, I also think that it's rather faulty reasoning.

to which I replied this:

quote:

Anyone who lacks the creativity to come up with *something* to display themselves isn't anyone I'd be interested in, no matter how important their job.

Which *is* relevant-to some extent a tasteful, attractive picture does legitimise a profile.

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Post #: 45

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/16/2010 9:07:33 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

OP, you have made some generalizations about how easy it is to connect with "pretty" people and I agree with you in real life, yeah, I meet plenty of attractive men through friends or walking around.

However....ONLINE is another matter altogether. Yes, there may be a fabulously hot guy behind a profile with no photo and that is fine and is one's perogative to not post one publically. If someone writes me and they have a decent profile with no photo, I will reply back but after a few emails I require one before I speak on the phone.

Why? Because I have had numerous phone conversations with men who sounded great but when we met I found they either lied about their appearance/age/height or I had zero physical chemistry for them.

We are all visual creatures and it is not shallow to want to be with someone you feel a spark for. It is utter nonsense to say you fall for a person through only their words. Nothing replaces the face to face connection that happens.

Of course photos do not tell the whole or even partial story, but I expect someone to privately send me one. If they refuse, I don't deal with them. I find it suspicious that after a few emails and phone conversation, someone still refuses. The worst is when a grown man says, Oh, I don't know how to load a photo. Yeah, ok, sparky.

Oh, and many of us have public jobs, I am in media and if anyone I knew saw me, I would say, so what? I really could care less if someone sees my face shot on a kink site. My family does not frequent this site and I have more important things to be concerned about.

(in reply to wandersalone)

Post #: 46

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/16/2010 9:12:51 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

Which *is* relevant-to some extent a tasteful, attractive picture does legitimise a profile.

No it's not..If you have to stretch it to fit..it doesn't really wear well. Does it.

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Post #: 47

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/16/2010 9:20:06 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

I don't think a photo "legitimizes" a profile, I think the behavior exhibited by someone contacting you and their subsequent follow up does.

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 48

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/16/2010 9:22:50 AM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

Which *is* relevant-to some extent a tasteful, attractive picture does legitimise a profile.

No it's not..If you have to stretch it to fit..it doesn't really wear well. Does it.

I'm not stretching anything, though. He said a picture didn't legitimise a profile. I said that to me any profile without a picture was not legitimate. That's not a stretch, it's a response.

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Post #: 49

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/16/2010 9:31:05 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

You spoke of someone who lacks the creativity to come up with "something"..He was talking a whole different thing..What does creativity and the thought he had have to do with one another.

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(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

Post #: 50

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/16/2010 9:34:45 AM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

You spoke of someone who lacks the creativity to come up with "something"..He was talking a whole different thing..What does creativity and the thought he had have to do with one another.

He said this:

quote:

I cannot imagine that a working professional who values his career, from an office drone to an upper management executive, or any type of public figure/social worker/politician etc... could possibly afford to post a facial picture of themselves without running a big risk of having their everyday life severely compromised, and perhaps their career/reputation permanently ruined.

That imagination failure right there? Lack of creativity. Sorry I didn't say that outright-I thought that was obvious.

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Post #: 51

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/16/2010 9:43:43 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

That imagination failure right there? Lack of creativity. Sorry I didn't say that outright-I thought that was obvious.

Your trying your darndest to tie what you said together with something but you are still missing the mark. You are so cute

He's talking about something still entirely different...He doesn't mean he can't imagine it..He means he plain doesn't understand why or doesn't agree with it...The two creativity's just aren't the same.

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Post #: 52

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/16/2010 9:47:05 AM

strangedesire

Posts: 360
Joined: 12/23/2008
Status: offline

Icarys seems to have a thing out for you personally. Interesting, isn't it?

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Post #: 53

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/16/2010 9:49:42 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

What thing would that be? That I respect her and how she handles herself but can disagree with what she says without ill will?

or

Do you mean the ole he's pulling your hair so he must want you syndrome that so many people seem to have regarding my posts to women?

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Post #: 54

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/16/2010 9:49:53 AM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

He's talking about something still entirely different...He doesn't mean he can't imagine it..He means he plain doesn't understand why or doesn't agree with it...

...because he can't conceive of a picture that meets the criteria for people to talk to him but that doesn't reveal his identity. Which is a creativity fail I find profoundly unattractive (though I have no idea if I'm in his target market or not...). That's what I was thinking when I posted. You can pretend I'm coming up with these connections on the fly now if you like, but I'm really not-I read his post several times when I was making mine.

You think he'd have bothered making this post at all if it had occurred to him that he could just post a non-identifying photo and have done with it? I don't.

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Post #: 55

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/16/2010 9:52:14 AM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: strangedesire

Icarys seems to have a thing out for you personally. Interesting, isn't it?

Oh no, honey, it's fine-this is a discussion, not a row. He's not out to get me, I promise.

I've got the option of not responding at any point if I feel it's getting pointed, remember? We all do. I do that sometimes, it's just that nobody notices cuz that sort of thing tends to get lost in the noise on a messageboard.

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Post #: 56

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/16/2010 9:52:58 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

Hopefully you realize that people use words and phrases like that as a creative way to say they don't agree with something...I've seen it many times on this forum and others as well.

Just saying don't be so sure that's what he's saying..I think he's been fairly nice and has just been making some observations about what he's seen and wanted to talk about it.

I misspoke..Should have been something instead of it.

< Message edited by Icarys -- 10/16/2010 9:57:42 AM >

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submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
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Post #: 57

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/16/2010 9:57:18 AM

strangedesire

Posts: 360
Joined: 12/23/2008
Status: offline

I've noted that you seem to make a habit of engaging her in arguments, often over trivial matters or semantics, and ignoring other equally respected posters discussing the same issue. I have no particular theory as to your motivations: the inner workings of your mind are not terribly interesting to me.

I will not that I said "a thing out for her," denoting a pattern of attacks, rather than "a thing for her," which is what you seem to have read. You may very well have a thing for her, but this is not particularly relevant to me, as I don't care what psychological factors are influencing your posting style.

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Post #: 58

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/16/2010 9:58:47 AM

strangedesire

Posts: 360
Joined: 12/23/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

Oh no, honey, it's fine-this is a discussion, not a row. He's not out to get me, I promise.

I've got the option of not responding at any point if I feel it's getting pointed, remember? We all do. I do that sometimes, it's just that nobody notices cuz that sort of thing tends to get lost in the noise on a messageboard.

Believe, me, I don't think that you need protecting. I've seen the way you write, and I have complete faith in your ability to take care of yourself.

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Post #: 59

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/16/2010 10:00:25 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

Then why comment on them at all?

I engage her in discussions as I do a number of people in particular on this forum although I try to do it differently with her.

Regardless, let's steer this back on topic.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to strangedesire)

Post #: 60

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