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RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/18/2010 8:08:18 PM

Twoshoes

Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline

poise, I know you appreciate me for my completely improvised punctuation.

But yeah, I'm probably shallow, too. I guess if I were using this site for 'dating', I might also find it important to have some sort of visual picture to save time. (You could just never ask and meet people in person and see what happens.)

I'm just lucky there are so many amazing available women in Montreal and I have plenty of time to make lots of misguided decisions. Lots.

And regardless of how you look, only a certain amount of people will find you attractive. Some don't even find George Clooney attractive...

(in reply to poise)

Post #: 101

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/18/2010 8:20:19 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomImus
And if after the obvious shared interests and comfortable dialogue occur pictures are finally exchanged and one party opts out based on the picture are they still shallow? It's all information and it all matters. I don't see why the order in which it is received really matters. If you decline someone up front because or their appearance you are shallow but if you get to know and like them and still ultimately decline based on their appearance you get points for getting to know them before your shallowness was engaged?

I'll admit that I've done this. Both ways about it. Yes, it can probably been seen as being shallow, but I can't sit here and say that every person out there is attractive to Me. I don't expect every person on the planet to think I'm attractive and I don't think that every person out there has to be willing to engage in BDSM with Me. Maybe they don't like short women or redheads. Who knows?

I honestly think that people are entitled to their preferences and that includes what they find attractive. I don't think that makes them bad people. They just know that they want the attraction as part of the package.

_____________________________

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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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(in reply to DomImus)

Post #: 102

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/18/2010 8:22:55 PM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

poise, I know you appreciate me for my completely improvised punctuation.

You apostrophe like no other Two Shoes.....

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When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to Twoshoes)

Post #: 103

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/18/2010 8:35:13 PM

thatsub

Posts: 176
Joined: 5/3/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkmatter24
...
While I understand the intuitive reasoning behind it, the notion that a picture in some way legitimizes a profile, I also think that it's rather faulty reasoning. I cannot imagine that a working professional who values his career, from an office drone to an upper management executive, or any type of public figure/social worker/politician etc... could possibly afford to post a facial picture of themselves without running a big risk of having their everyday life severely compromised, and perhaps their career/reputation permanently ruined.
...

I have pictures on my profile, but you can't prove I am the person in those pictures until you see me in person. I have plausible deniability that someone stole my pictures and posted this profile; thus, I figure, I am safe posting vanilla pictures.

_____________________________

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. Plato

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(in reply to darkmatter24)

Post #: 104

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/19/2010 12:46:21 AM

MistressRosalyn

Posts: 908
Joined: 8/16/2009
Status: offline

I insist upon a photo, simply because I am a very visual person. In my experience, the fellows who have NOT wanted to send a photo for whatever reason have turned out to be less than attractive, and I would like to be able to make a decision about whether there is any potential BEFORE I invest time, effort and emotion. I don't insist upon total eye candy, BTW, I just want to know that I can feel an attraction to that person, and beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

I give them the same respect. My photo is me, however, I was larking about with a dark wig one night, and I had that shot taken. I liked it so much that I decided to use it, even though I am actually a blonde. But you can bet that I send along a "real" picture of me within a few exchanges.

Even a "plain" webcam photo tells so much...I look at the background to see if there are overflowing ashtrays and beer cans or bottles of lube in the shot. Is the room clean and tidy, but still inviting, or is it a pit? All of that info goes into how I perceive someone, and whether I decide that we are compatible or not.

So a photo to me is more than the apparent, "Show me what you look like"; it is truly the embodiment of the statement, "A picture is worth a thousand words."

Oh, and I do like multiple pictures, because females aren't the only ones who are adept at using good photo angles like these gals here: http://www.officialdatingresource.com/beware-the-dreaded-myspace-angles-pics/

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(in reply to thatsub)

Post #: 105

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/19/2010 1:36:46 AM

nephandi

Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline

Greetings

Well first of all for those that are looking for someone to form a relationship with knowing how the other person looks is quite useful. I also personally find it easier to relate to someone that I know the appearance of. Off course people might lie and post a picture of someone else, but I tend to trust pepole on such things until it is proven that they lie.

Off course as you say for some people it is impossible to post a picture, and that is fine, however some will only have something to do with people with a picture, that makes those two incompatible, deal with it and move on. I personally do not require a picture, but I do think it is nice to see the face of people that I am talking with.

Be well.

_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

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(in reply to darkmatter24)

Post #: 106

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/20/2010 7:19:32 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

Icarys's Matrix avatar screams 'solemnly cool'. (Even though the Matrix stopped being cool after the sequel.)

That's a single persons opinion..You know what they say about that, don't you?

I suppose shoes are way more creative :>..I suppose I could take the time to come up with something nice using one of my design software but then the thought came to me..Pictures are used for and in many ways I don't care about or need to be. Try and think a little deeper.

< Message edited by Icarys -- 10/20/2010 7:20:27 AM >

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(in reply to Twoshoes)

Post #: 107

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/20/2010 7:56:10 AM

Twoshoes

Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline

Of course my opinion says a lot about me.

quote:

Try and think a little deeper

You have everything under control?
You are fully capable of saving the entire world?
Small metal objects with high kinetic energy do not faze you?
You've always been as good under pressure as Keanu Reeves on a 'red pill' trip?

Edit: Wild guesses, here.

< Message edited by Twoshoes -- 10/20/2010 8:05:49 AM >

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 108

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/20/2010 8:07:18 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

Of course my opinion says a lot about me.

I've thought that for some time.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to Twoshoes)

Post #: 109

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/20/2010 8:08:28 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

Ahhh ya took the "all good" off..What kind of game are you playing

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to Twoshoes)

Post #: 110

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/20/2010 8:10:49 AM

Twoshoes

Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline

Well, they are all good things, I figured it wasn't necessary to confirm that.

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 111

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/20/2010 8:14:54 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

Well, they are all good things, I figured it wasn't necessary to confirm that.

I doubt that's the truth.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to Twoshoes)

Post #: 112

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/21/2010 7:22:18 AM

DomImus

Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkmatter24

I've noticed that it's very frequent for Collarme users to state their preference that they are only willing to communicate with users who include pictures in their profiles. Of course this is primarily coming from users who have profile pictures themselves.

While I understand the intuitive reasoning behind it, the notion that a picture in some way legitimizes a profile, I also think that it's rather faulty reasoning. I cannot imagine that a working professional who values his career, from an office drone to an upper management executive, or any type of public figure/social worker/politician etc... could possibly afford to post a facial picture of themselves without running a big risk of having their everyday life severely compromised, and perhaps their career/reputation permanently ruined.

This means that by indiscriminately discarding profiles without pictures, even the well written and insightful ones, many users are ignoring the potential matches that carry the most promise. Obviously fake profiles abound here, but their merit can be pretty accurately assessed by actually reading what the person has to say and of course by communicating.

Just some food for thought. :-)

I see a profile that comes up routinely when I log in. A submissive female looking for a little bdsm fun with no strings attached. I would think that she would be covered up with offers but based on her random journal entries they aren't beating a path to her door. The caveat? No profile pic. I wonder if that's affecting her email average.

(in reply to darkmatter24)

Post #: 113

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/21/2010 7:36:21 AM

Dominatist

Posts: 87
Joined: 7/18/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkmatter24

This means that by indiscriminately discarding profiles without pictures, even the well written and insightful ones, many users are ignoring the potential matches that carry the most promise.

And yet, they seem to find a way to go on with their lives.

~stef

ALL people...all of the time...in any case...are forced to find a way to go on with their lives. The idea behind the above is 'indiscriminately' which means 'discriminately' on the basis of a photo. Whatever happened to people earning the right to a pic.

(in reply to stef)

Post #: 114

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/21/2010 9:54:15 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dominatist
Whatever happened to people earning the right to a pic.

I seem to recall you've been using the same photo for quite some time now. I also seem to recall a thread in which you stated you were married. Is my memory playing tricks on me? One could of course always ask in response to your question: Whatever happened to dominant men having some balls?

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Dominatist)

Post #: 115

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/21/2010 11:41:41 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

If I'm looking for a partner I need a picture fairly quickly. I can't see wasting the time getting to know someone if I am not going to be attracted to them. I do not have impossibly high standards in place for a man's looks, and my taste is all over. I like chubby men, bald men, small men...or the complete opposite. I really can't nail down what I think is attractive but I know it when I see it. If there is no chance of me being attracted physically, I'll have to move on.

If that bothers someone, I'm sorry, but I also don't think it's shallow. I need to be attracted both in mind and body. It's just the way I work- like my preferences for sexual orientation and monogamy. I look for men with strong family values, who are physically active, who are open-minded, and who have that ineffable quality in their outside appearance that makes me want to jump their bones and obviously I'd need to see you to know the last part.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 116

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/21/2010 10:23:11 PM

darkmatter24

Posts: 34
Joined: 4/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: nephandi

Greetings

Well first of all for those that are looking for someone to form a relationship with knowing how the other person looks is quite useful. I also personally find it easier to relate to someone that I know the appearance of. Off course people might lie and post a picture of someone else, but I tend to trust pepole on such things until it is proven that they lie.

Off course as you say for some people it is impossible to post a picture, and that is fine, however some will only have something to do with people with a picture, that makes those two incompatible, deal with it and move on. I personally do not require a picture, but I do think it is nice to see the face of people that I am talking with.

Be well.

Yeah, I think it is perfectly fine to exchange pictures early on to at least get a rough gauge whether some attraction is even remotely possible. It doesn't take long to establish the most basic level of compatibility so there's no risk of time wasting or at least no greater than in any potential relationship.

(in reply to nephandi)

Post #: 117

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/21/2010 10:35:25 PM

darkmatter24

Posts: 34
Joined: 4/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomImus

I see a profile that comes up routinely when I log in. A submissive female looking for a little bdsm fun with no strings attached. I would think that she would be covered up with offers but based on her random journal entries they aren't beating a path to her door. The caveat? No profile pic. I wonder if that's affecting her email average.

Ok, but what does that imply exactly? I think people are much more willing to click on a profile with a picture because they are drawn to visual imagery, which is most impressionable to our senses. Does that make the person behind the profile in any way better or more interesting? Maybe, maybe not. There's no way to know.

Personally, I am always far more impressed whenever someone is able to articulate their thoughts clearly and concisely. This usually means that a person is capable of making rational decisions and has some meaningful inner life. I would pick a woman of average attractiveness with a keen mind over a glossy yet superficial doll any day.

(in reply to DomImus)

Post #: 118

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/21/2010 11:00:30 PM

BambiBoi

Posts: 461
Joined: 8/10/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkmatter24

I've noticed that it's very frequent for Collarme users to state their preference that they are only willing to communicate with users who include pictures in their profiles. Of course this is primarily coming from users who have profile pictures themselves.

[clipped for brevity]

I took a sexy picture I like and would like to be, but isn't me... and used that. When I talk with people, I provide real pictures that don't have my face, and separate vanilla face pictures. Sure, some people write me off as "not proud and honest of who they are" but that's ok. They make a judgment call, I make a judgment call.

Edit:

I keep this little tidbit in my profile. It's not 100% clear about "Who is that mousey in the window?"

"About pictures: I dislike making my picture public information, I hope you enjoy what I have provided."

< Message edited by BambiBoi -- 10/21/2010 11:02:39 PM >

(in reply to darkmatter24)

Post #: 119

RE: The issue of pictures in profiles - 10/22/2010 6:05:42 PM

tzr6977

Posts: 149
Joined: 10/11/2010
Status: offline

WOW! This posting showed up at just the right time. I am planning on having boyfriend take some pics of me this weekend. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I knew what I woud wear and that kind of thing, just wasn't sure about posting them. I think if I post one on profile I may just use a face shot, maybe something a little sexy, but not revealing. The rest of pics will be reserved for those I have chatted with before they see "Everything" else. Do you people think that may be the better way to handle it?

(in reply to poise)

Post #: 120

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