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Punishment Spanking Then Massage - 10/17/2010 8:45:27 PM   
HypnoPants


Posts: 32
Joined: 1/16/2006
From: Edmonton, Alberta
Status: offline 		So I recently found out that if you tell a slave that the spanking you <are/about to> give them is a punishment... then the pleasure they normally feel from a spanking is turned into sheer torturous pain... apparently effective as I tried it on my slave.
Anyways, after the punishment I gave her a deep sensuous massage with warming massage oil to reward her for accepting the punishment.
See her profile for details in the 4 part journal entry:
CollarSubGirl

Now my question is, does the punishment 'lock' into her brain more effectively if you reward her for <accepting the punishment/allowing you to punish her> (such as by presenting her ass knowing full-well that it's punishment)?

< Message edited by HypnoPants -- 10/17/2010 8:48:08 PM >

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RE: Punishment Spanking Then Massage - 10/17/2010 8:47:57 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		1. why are you asking this in Ask a Mistress

2. why do you assume anything might be the same for all subs

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RE: Punishment Spanking Then Massage - 10/17/2010 8:50:46 PM   
HypnoPants


Posts: 32
Joined: 1/16/2006
From: Edmonton, Alberta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

1. why are you asking this in Ask a Mistress

2. why do you assume anything might be the same for all subs


1) because she's a female slave and a mistress should understand the psyche of a woman better than a master would.
2) it's a question of basic training/psychology, I don't mean spanking and massage so much as I mean specifically punishment then reward.

now my question... why do you ask questions that sounds like a rebellious teen complaining about their parents controlling them? :P

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RE: Punishment Spanking Then Massage - 10/17/2010 9:03:08 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HypnoPants

now my question... why do you ask questions that sounds like a rebellious teen complaining about their parents controlling them? :P


/Waits for the fight to start/




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RE: Punishment Spanking Then Massage - 10/17/2010 9:03:27 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HypnoPants


quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

1. why are you asking this in Ask a Mistress

2. why do you assume anything might be the same for all subs


1) because she's a female slave and a mistress should understand the psyche of a woman better than a master would.
2) it's a question of basic training/psychology, I don't mean spanking and massage so much as I mean specifically punishment then reward.

now my question... why do you ask questions that sounds like a rebellious teen complaining about their parents controlling them? :P


1. That is a silly generalization and your opinion only. There are many male Dominants who truly understand the psyche of THEIR submissives. A female Domme usually is interested in a male sub, therefore they would be interested in understanding the male psyche.

2. I can answer any and all questions in any manner I choose since that is my perogative as a user on a public message board. You will indeed have to try to understand that you have no power or control over anyone who chooses to reply to whatever you have posted.

Feel better now after whining?

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 10/17/2010 9:22:16 PM >

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RE: Punishment Spanking Then Massage - 10/17/2010 9:12:17 PM   
HypnoPants


Posts: 32
Joined: 1/16/2006
From: Edmonton, Alberta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: HypnoPants

now my question... why do you ask questions that sounds like a rebellious teen complaining about their parents controlling them? :P


/Waits for the fight to start/





What flavour? :D

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RE: Punishment Spanking Then Massage - 10/17/2010 9:13:37 PM   
HypnoPants


Posts: 32
Joined: 1/16/2006
From: Edmonton, Alberta
Status: offline 		ANYWAYS... I didn't mean any offense by my original message...
I apologize if it sounded offensive, but I'm just asking questions.

< Message edited by HypnoPants -- 10/17/2010 9:25:11 PM >

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I am Hypno Pants! The man with hypnotic pants! Stare into my butt and you will be hypnotized! :)

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RE: Punishment Spanking Then Massage - 10/17/2010 9:17:46 PM   
hlen5


Posts: 5890
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: HypnoPants

now my question... why do you ask questions that sounds like a rebellious teen complaining about their parents controlling them? :P


/Waits for the fight to start/




Care to share your popcorn?? I can trade some toffee-covered peanuts.

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RE: Punishment Spanking Then Massage - 10/17/2010 9:21:04 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HypnoPants


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: HypnoPants

now my question... why do you ask questions that sounds like a rebellious teen complaining about their parents controlling them? :P


/Waits for the fight to start/





What flavour? :D


For you, crow or humble pie.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Punishment Spanking Then Massage - 10/17/2010 9:29:01 PM   
HypnoPants


Posts: 32
Joined: 1/16/2006
From: Edmonton, Alberta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: HypnoPants


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: HypnoPants

now my question... why do you ask questions that sounds like a rebellious teen complaining about their parents controlling them? :P


/Waits for the fight to start/





What flavour? :D


For you, crow or humble pie.



what?! no bacon?! blasphemy!

_____________________________

I am Hypno Pants! The man with hypnotic pants! Stare into my butt and you will be hypnotized! :)

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RE: Punishment Spanking Then Massage - 10/17/2010 9:31:26 PM   
hausboy


Posts: 2360
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline 		OP:
In response to your original question, I think what confuses me slightly about what you posted is this:
While it isn't unusual for me to receive a kind gesture (such as a bum massage) after a particular harsh discipline (and for the sake of argument here, I'll distinguish as "funishment"), I would not expect that type of action after a punishment.   I always had the assumption that a punishment's "reward" was the lesson one learned from it, and that receiving something sensual or rewarding after, would make it a more pleasurable experience and blur the line between that and a spanking for pleasure.  I'm not one that does real punishments anyway, but I know plenty who do.  There are also plenty of other funishment vs punishment threads on this board that you might find worthwhile in answer to your question.

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RE: Punishment Spanking Then Massage - 10/17/2010 9:32:50 PM   
HypnoPants


Posts: 32
Joined: 1/16/2006
From: Edmonton, Alberta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hausboy

OP:
In response to your original question, I think what confuses me slightly about what you posted is this:
While it isn't unusual for me to receive a kind gesture (such as a bum massage) after a particular harsh discipline (and for the sake of argument here, I'll distinguish as "funishment"), I would not expect that type of action after a punishment.   I always had the assumption that a punishment's "reward" was the lesson one learned from it, and that receiving something sensual or rewarding after, would make it a more pleasurable experience and blur the line between that and a spanking for pleasure.  I'm not one that does real punishments anyway, but I know plenty who do.  There are also plenty of other funishment vs punishment threads on this board that you might find worthwhile in answer to your question.



I appreciate your opinion :) thank you.
For my girl though, she is still struggling with depression, and I often worry I might send her into a depressive attack with a harsh punishment.

< Message edited by HypnoPants -- 10/17/2010 9:35:08 PM >

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RE: Punishment Spanking Then Massage - 10/17/2010 10:11:43 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		She is depressed, and you are punishing her? Great.

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RE: Punishment Spanking Then Massage - 10/17/2010 10:30:10 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		LadyH, If he's responcible in how he goes about it, and the punishments are not to do with her depression, then why not. Life  and the relationship dynamics and up keep and maintence of that dynamic  can't stop because you're depressed.

Now I'd think he is responcibl;e enough to give her a little wiggle room, and not punish her due to things that are going wrong BECAUSE of her depression, but I feel that the dynamic don't need to stop punishments included, because someone happens to be depressed. Maybe might wanna hold off on punishing during a depressive episode though, I will say.

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RE: Punishment Spanking Then Massage - 10/17/2010 11:19:40 PM   
HypnoPants


Posts: 32
Joined: 1/16/2006
From: Edmonton, Alberta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

LadyH, If he's responcible in how he goes about it, and the punishments are not to do with her depression, then why not. Life  and the relationship dynamics and up keep and maintence of that dynamic  can't stop because you're depressed.

Now I'd think he is responcibl;e enough to give her a little wiggle room, and not punish her due to things that are going wrong BECAUSE of her depression, but I feel that the dynamic don't need to stop punishments included, because someone happens to be depressed. Maybe might wanna hold off on punishing during a depressive episode though, I will say.


Agreed, and I do... I've learned to handle her depressive episodes quite well :P especially that you can't be dominant when they're having an episode... that makes it all worse... also that their anger/negative feelings they have at the time are not directed at you, they just can't help it... best to realize that and not let it get it to you...
Why? because if you do, you'll get angry too... you need to let them vent, yell at you, even hit you (which is actually cute since she's sooo weak and beats my chest as I hold her :P adorable! ... then she eventually gives up and lets me cuddle her into my chest, which she then may or may not cry, but she eventually calms down and happily cuddles her Master, now over her episode) ... etc etc...
As they say, pain overrides logic, when someone is having a depressive episode, they won't think logically...

Anyways, I write down anything she does during a depressive attack that may have hurt me physically or mentally... so that we can discuss it at a later date, or to punish her for, etc.
Punishments are done ONLY when she's stable enough to handle them.


Owning a depressed slave is incredibly hard for even an experienced Owner... because depression is like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder... they're stuck in a rut, and until you get them out of that rut... they're going to be a handful.
But they will be indebted to you for being the only person in their world that can help them handle their depression, that they themselves can't even handle... which of course means they love and adore you even more :P which makes for easier and more effective slave training.

Just remember that even if they're depressed around/with you... doesn't mean you're the cause of it.
I Love and adore my girl very VERY much... I would never punish her if it would mean she'd become even more depressed... from what I've seen so far, my punishments and timings for punishments (when she's stable) have actually improved her mentality towards her depression and life in general. (i.e. she has more good days than bad)

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I am Hypno Pants! The man with hypnotic pants! Stare into my butt and you will be hypnotized! :)

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RE: Punishment Spanking Then Massage - 10/17/2010 11:53:47 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		Hypno sounds all very responcibly done to me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: HypnoPants

Punishments are done ONLY when she's stable enough to handle them.


I Love and adore my girl very VERY much... I would never punish her if it would mean she'd become even more depressed... from what I've seen so far, my punishments and timings for punishments (when she's stable) have actually improved her mentality towards her depression and life in general. (i.e. she has more good days than bad)


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RE: Punishment Spanking Then Massage - 10/17/2010 11:59:24 PM   
HypnoPants


Posts: 32
Joined: 1/16/2006
From: Edmonton, Alberta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

Hypno sounds all very responcibly done to me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: HypnoPants

Punishments are done ONLY when she's stable enough to handle them.


I Love and adore my girl very VERY much... I would never punish her if it would mean she'd become even more depressed... from what I've seen so far, my punishments and timings for punishments (when she's stable) have actually improved her mentality towards her depression and life in general. (i.e. she has more good days than bad)



Thank You :P
it wasn't always, been a long road... but she's been loyal, so I've kept 'staying strong' rather than giving up... and it's really paying off :)

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RE: Punishment Spanking Then Massage - 10/18/2010 1:59:39 AM   
BonesFromAsh


Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HypnoPants


Anyways, I write down anything she does during a depressive attack that may have hurt me physically or mentally... so that we can discuss it at a later date, or to punish her for, etc.
Punishments are done ONLY when she's stable enough to handle them.




I have the feeling you have no understanding of the difference between a moody person and someone who is diagnosed with an actual depressive disorder.

Your statement above makes no sense in relation to your previous statement...

quote:


especially that you can't be dominant when they're having an episode... that makes it all worse... also that their anger/negative feelings they have at the time are not directed at you, they just can't help it... best to realize that and not let it get it to you...


Stop trying to play therapist and be a responsible partner by leading this woman, if drepression is her diagnosed issued, in the direction of a real professional.


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RE: Punishment Spanking Then Massage - 10/18/2010 5:30:25 AM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		I think the scenario as you presented it would more likely confuse the poor girl.
"Man, that butt massage was so sensual, and I loved the feel of his hands carressing me with the oils
perhaps if I'm bad again, I'll get another wonderful massage"
While I'm not a big fan of punishment dynamics, if I deserve it, I dont want to be coddled afterwards.
As hausboy said so well, the reward is the lesson learned.

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RE: Punishment Spanking Then Massage - 10/18/2010 5:59:31 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I don't use punishment in this way.  To Me, if there's an actual punishment involved, there is no confusing the matter by "rewarding" My submissive for enduring the punishment.  If we're in a situation that has gotten so bad that a punishment is coming into it, that means there is something seriously wrong in the dynamic.  It's not a game that I'm playing to make him emotionally distraught so he'll feel great later.  I wouldn't do that anymore than I'd tell My husband that I want a divorce so I can show him how much I love him.  The way that I use punishment is as a consequence or to correct behavior.  The idea is to implement it so the infraction isn't repeated.  

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