Jaybeee -> RE: Being in love with a slave - can a man maintain authority? (10/19/2010 3:58:11 AM)
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Big bear cuddles to you, J !! :) quote:
ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven Honestly, I see this as - like so many things - up to the two involved in the relationship, and their compatibility. I did have this situation with my previous Master. Over the years, he came to love me so much and placed me on a pedestal, that he was no longer able to control, guide, and "Master" me - which is a fundamental need of mine. See, this is PRECISELY my fear J - when I find "She Who Satisfies Me in All Ways Bar One", I am going to be utterly besotted. I can only hope she feels equally smitten, and the whole master/slave dynamic can be momentarily and intermittently suspended as need be. I'll be fawning over her, kissing her toes for hours on end (and I'm not even a "foot"-man!), letting her cry happy tears on my shoulder and vice versa, wanting to spend every second of the weekend with her, etc etc. NONE of which I apologise for - I'll be enamoured, and that's what happens when you've fallen in love. Nor will I be doing any of this worrying when I actually DO fall in love; I only hope in advance that I will have fallen for a gal good enough to see I'm loony over her, that's all, and is willing to remember how dominant I was just after we first started out, overlook my unmasterful, vanilla gushing for a few weeks, perhaps months, until the initial love "high" wears off, and I go into that deep, enduring, caring mode that ought to last a lifetime. Though even that is going to be spiked by occasional random, "Pack your bikini, we're leaving NOW!" trips to her favourite holiday spot or flowers. I read in the quote:
So this did cause so stress between us, and ultimately contributed to our eventual separation. I need that firm hand, that strong support, and someone to provide that structure - structure that allows me to simply relax, be myself as a slave, and exist fully in his service. This is it, I'm curious as to what what a "firm hand" entails, about what the rules concern (as opposed to what the rules are), and most crucially, whether I could maintain even a semblance of holding her to them when I'm madly in love. If you ask my opinion, examples of these should be listed in the Owner's Manual for every gal. :) In any case, I still hold out hope for a happy medium, even if it's just, "Ok, you'll only have to be on this pedestal for a month, then down you come". :) quote:
So what does that mean for me? I can serve anyone. I can - I am capable of it. However, the best reason (for me), and the only reason I will serve someone again at this stage in my life is because I adore my Owner/Master, and have the other aspects of the Owner/property relationship in addition to simply service. So in that case, yes, I am seeking love - I want it - but I need a man who needs to be an Owner like I need to be a slave. And then when we're both in that authentic place of simply being ourselves in the power exchange and the structure, then love simply is just there - and isn't a worry or a concern. I think in your case J, you've proved that it's better to be an unowned slave, than to settle for an average Owner. So in that regard you don't need a Master as such, but when a guy comes along hoping to win your heart and obedience, you need him to want each as much as he wants the other. Where we differ, if we differ at all on the matter, is that I believe love truly will overwhelm all barriers - I can convince her I'll return to my usual masterful self, and if she ever needs a reminder, she could always hint, "Master, with all respect, perhaps now would be a good time to order me to get you a beer". [:D] quote:
Truly, worrying about love in an M/s relationship is just the same as worrying about protocol, or structure, or rituals, or anything else. You do what works for you and your slave - and don't worry about what falls by the wayside, as it's part of being human in an authentic, loving, relationship. It's a sweet thought, I do hope that'll be the case.
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