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What do You do about Beseeching people in Bdsm? - 4/25/2006 10:30:55 PM   
knees2you


Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline 		Hello,
Another word for Beseeching is Begging.

What Do You do in the Bdsm world
When someone is Begging Your Attention?

It can be an Uncollared Slave/Submissive/Switch
or a Master/Mistress.

I know that begging in some ways can be fun,
but when does it go to far?
quote:

 
"It is not what You have in the End that matters.
{cars, houses, money, etc} It is what You don't have!"


Always, Ant
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: What do You do about Beseeching people in Bdsm? - 4/26/2006 5:33:25 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		As usual, it depends on the situation.  But if it's in person at least I'll acknowledge them and smile. 

Beyond that, I might remove myself from their area, tell them that they are coming on too strong, or find it amusing and keep talking with them and work through it.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to knees2you)
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RE: What do You do about Beseeching people in Bdsm? - 4/26/2006 5:52:09 AM   
petcerina


Posts: 143
Joined: 4/4/2005
Status: offline 		It goes too far when i hardly know the person and they are begging me to play with them or be with them when there has not been enough time.  This goes for "Doms" as well as "subs and slaves".  Being desperate is not attractive in the beginnings of a relationship.  It makes me want to stop everything then and there and i usually do, especially if it is a "Dom" begging me.  i think you can see why.

(in reply to knees2you)
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RE: What do You do about Beseeching people in Bdsm? - 4/26/2006 5:58:18 AM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

I know that begging in some ways can be fun,
but when does it go to far?

When it becomes inapproiate

_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to knees2you)
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RE: What do You do about Beseeching people in Bdsm? - 4/26/2006 5:58:33 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: knees2you

What Do You do in the Bdsm world
When someone is Begging Your Attention?


Depends on the situation, if it is simply another human being needing a smile or a shoulder i tend to accomadate. I believe in cosmic karma.

From a slave's view point though i find if it is a Dom i tend to politely say no. I prefer a Dom/Domme who is strong and secure, not one desperate for a sub/slave.



_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to knees2you)
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RE: What do You do about Beseeching people in Bdsm? - 4/26/2006 6:57:05 AM   
Reasonable


Posts: 459
Joined: 4/20/2006
Status: offline 		When they refuse to accept lack of interest, it becomes stalking.

(in reply to twicehappy)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: What do You do about Beseeching people in Bdsm? - 4/26/2006 7:08:36 AM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		Politely endure it and hope it goes away.....wait no, sorry that was my mother, poor thing she never really learned boundaries.
 
I have learned that if something is bothering me, do a little self evaluation, figure out what the trigger is and why, and then address the root.
 
If it a pushy person say, I would ask myself :

What about me attracted this person to me, and not the person next to me?
What signals am I putting out, how am I benefiting from this exchange?
Is this what I want?
 
That way I dont continue to attract the same type of people over and over again.



_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to knees2you)
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RE: What do You do about Beseeching people in Bdsm? - 4/26/2006 8:03:30 AM   
pissdoll


Posts: 343
Joined: 5/25/2005
Status: offline 		i find the begging is a little more common online than it is in the real world.

however, once a dom has begged, there is no chance for a relationship.  his/her begging has given me the upper hand, and in the back of my mind i will always know this.

maybe that makes me far too rigid and unfair, but that's how my mind processes it.

(in reply to knees2you)
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RE: What do You do about Beseeching people in Bdsm? - 4/26/2006 8:33:59 AM   
Proprietrix


Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline 		I've found that most beggars disappear quickly when I mention actually metting for a cup of coffee.

_____________________________

IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

(in reply to knees2you)
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RE: What do You do about Beseeching people in Bdsm? - 4/26/2006 9:43:50 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		I find that when a Dom shows to be interrested.... and lets me know if all fine and dandy. Even when they become a little instant... to a point..... but after i've let it be known... i'm not interrested for what ever reason... and they still insist... that's when I get bored and sort of mad... that this "Dominant" is really nothing more in my eyes than a sub in sheeps clothing. 

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to Proprietrix)
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RE: What do You do about Beseeching people in Bdsm? - 4/26/2006 9:53:10 AM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline 		Depends on the person. If I am interested I will make an effort to keep in contact, if not, I ask the to 'back off.'
I won't beg for someone's attention, I either have it or I do not, no sence in wrapping my life around or putting a lot of effort into something if someone does not feel the same and puts effort into things.
Returning emails, offline msgs, and phonecalls are part of that respect that we are suppose to have for eachother, even in the beginning. I will write someone off, I don't have tiem for games and players.

_____________________________

http://slaverosebeauty.livejournal.com/

"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

(in reply to knees2you)
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RE: What do You do about Beseeching people in Bdsm? - 4/26/2006 9:57:24 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		I agree.  It's very uncomfortable for me to have a dom begging me for anything.  Now, depending upon the person and the situation, I don't mind him asking, but begging?  I run away...quickly.

(in reply to twicehappy)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: What do You do about Beseeching people in Bdsm? - 4/26/2006 2:08:04 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		online begging tends to make me run..........fast

(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: What do You do about Beseeching people in Bdsm? - 4/26/2006 3:16:06 PM   
Saraheli


Posts: 178
Joined: 1/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

What Do You do in the Bdsm world
When someone is Begging Your Attention?


Flog them soundly.

_____________________________

Lay with me, I'll take you for a ride
Look so sweet I wanna cry
Here in this bed we have nothing to hide
Come on, don't you want to try
MvD

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: What do You do about Beseeching people in Bdsm? - 4/26/2006 4:07:55 PM   
masterdeltafire


Posts: 81
Joined: 9/26/2005
Status: offline 		It depends on the situation and what all is involved.  If it is begging to speak with me, I do not mind.  If a girl is begging 5 minutes into a converstation for my collar and me to teach her, then i usually will tell her to slow down .

If a girl wants sex after 5 min same thing, and if it progresses then she finds herself in a chastitybelt until she learns to control those urges. .  Although not into males and never will be, one of the mistakes I saw them make all too often was begging to worship the Domme's jewels as soon as they knelt before her.  Usually if the male wasn't slapped across the room, was rather surprised.

If one begs constantly for my attention then yes, I see it as topping from the bottom and send her to the corner for a time out to think things through, and if it continues, then usually if quiet time, essays and telling her to be patient do not work, and later the paddle, then not much will. So she is released.  Don't get me wrong, I love a girl begging at my feet and waiting on me hand and foot, but I do enjoy some time also to myself.

Don't get me wrong, love sick puppy sndrome is cute, especially in puppy girls, but gets old quick if it is constant :)





(in reply to Saraheli)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What do You do about Beseeching people in Bdsm? - 4/26/2006 5:16:23 PM   
ladylexington


Posts: 117
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline 		When it is online, and I've hardly met the person, I beseech Collarme to block them.

_____________________________

If you must gamble your lives sexually, don't play a lone hand too much. -- Mark Twain

(in reply to knees2you)
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RE: What do You do about Beseeching people in Bdsm? - 4/26/2006 5:30:56 PM   
amaidiamond


Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline 		If it is a sub begging me, I ask them nicely not too, especially the male subs that insist on calling me Ma'am, feel like screaming I'm a submissive dammit!
If it a Dom begging me, something in me goes ohhhh squick and I run away very fast.

Actually, I just dislike people begging me in general

(in reply to ladylexington)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: What do You do about Beseeching people in Bdsm? - 4/26/2006 5:52:58 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		For me, it depends on the situation. It is one thing during a scene to have a submissive begging you to "please stop...something", "don't stop...something", "please give me...whatever" and another thing entirely to have someone begging me to pay attention to them during a time when I am busy.

When it happens outside of a scene, I first tend to look at what the submissive is asking me for. If it is time for example, I look at my own behavior to make sure that I have not been a neglectful partner recently. If I haven't been, then I remind her of the time I have spent with her recently and make it clear that constant clinginess/neediness are not traits I find attractive. If I have been neglectful, then I either apologize and spend some time with her then or I give her a definite time within the next 24 hours when I can spend time with her. As another example, if she is emotionally vulnerable and in need of some comfort, and regular signals haven't worked with me (for whatever reason...distraction, work, etc.), then I try to do what she needs right then, if possible. If not possible, then I do so as soon as it is possible. If I suspect that the emotional situation has been contrived or find that the reason she is upset is just not all that valid as being able to cause "emotional upset", then at the very least a serious discussion is called for.

This is the way I would handle these two situations but there are so many differing types of situations in which someone could be considered as doing "begging". I think a big part of it is each person's perception of the situation...we all bring our own biases and notions and past experience to each situation.

I guess...and I know this will sound strange because it is coming off the top of my head and I don't have a lot of time right now to sit and put it better...I can handle "begging of an adult nature and of legitimate cause" but not "begging due to emotional immaturity, self-esteem issues, or from a need to get what they want rather than what they need." (hope this part makes sense).

(in reply to amaidiamond)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: What do You do about Beseeching people in Bdsm? - 4/26/2006 6:32:40 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		If it is in the context of here on the internet then I would find it rather disconcerting coming from a Dominant.More than likely I would find it unattractive, needy, and insecure and extricate myself ASAP, but as gently as I possibly can, for I actually (shock!) hate to hurt someones feelings..be well..Tempting

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: What do You do about Beseeching people in Bdsm? - 4/26/2006 7:42:20 PM   
MstrFury


Posts: 77
Joined: 2/1/2006
Status: offline 		peeking out to ask a simple question.....is there really a Dominant that begs?

pulling my cape around me and stepping back into the shadows to lurk

_____________________________

Fury

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 20
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