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An announcement - 4/25/2006 10:59:59 PM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

We discovered that our new boy (the one I picked, of course ... I'm 3 for 3 now) was not only cheating on us online, he has been doing some more than slightly illegal things using our phone lines and computers. On the plus side, we are 99% certain that this has only been going on for about a month, on the down side, I can't even stand to look at him and I want him out of my house as of yesterday. I'm filing a police report against him, and gathering all of his things together while he is at work tomorrow (and yes, he already knows this).

Anyway, to prevent this story from getting any longer, I'm leaving the site for awhile - I may have Holly come here in my place, since she is apparently a much better judge of character, but I don't know if she will post or anything. I just can't take searching again ... not yet, maybe not ever. For those of you who are my friends, you know how to reach me (or I'll let you know if you message me sometime in the next 2 days on the other side of the site - after that, I'm turning the account over to Holly and it will be up to her).

So, thank you to my friends,
good luck to all who are searching,
and goodbye to all for now,
Karen

Post #: 1

RE: An announcement - 4/25/2006 11:31:14 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

I'm very sorry to hear you've been hurt and betrayed.
I hope you don't let it break your spirit and keep you from doing what you enjoy.
Dishonest people exist, and I'm never sure what we are supposed to learn when these things happen, but my heart goes out to you. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to SweetDommes)

Post #: 2

RE: An announcement - 4/26/2006 4:18:05 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline

It does take time to really get to know people - that's why I advocate waiting a year or two before moving in with someone.

Unfortunately people are often not what we hope they are.

I wish you luck in the future.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 3

RE: An announcement - 4/26/2006 5:03:29 AM

Proprietrix

Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline

SweetDommes,
I never got to know you well and I know we had our little differences once, but I must say, I'm really sorry that you and your partner were hurt in this way. For the life of me, I will never understand what fulfillment people get out of coming into someone's life and screwing them over. I hope that as time heals, everything works out for you & yours. As for the boy, send him west. ;)
Good luck.

_____________________________

IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

(in reply to SweetDommes)

Post #: 4

RE: An announcement - 4/26/2006 6:26:36 AM

Oumae

Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

I'm really sorry to hear of this, warm thoughts to you.

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to SweetDommes)

Post #: 5

RE: An announcement - 4/26/2006 6:37:07 AM

MadamShy

Posts: 173
Joined: 3/21/2006
Status: offline

same thing happened to Me but he wasn't planned on moving in .. but turned out he was still messenging people to serve .. while under consideration of Myself ..and already collared to a couple in NY ... I am furious I didn't just meet Him here I already had know of him Real time also ...

how I knew ..

was friends with another Domina from the this site ... she was checking maile and showed me a sub ... OH my god it was the one under consideration begging her to be a whore for Her to sleep with strangers ...He was under consideration to be a personal pet otherwise I was planning on sleeping with him...

went to the Fetish Flea Fair in Mansfield MA ... met up with anothr friend from NY .. HE was in there collar and had been since NYeve.. great! ...he had sent Me a email stateing he couldn't be in My collar just before the FFF because I couldn't be truthful with Him..

do not leave .. there are all kinds in the world.. you just have to remember

Buyer beware... even tho We may not be buying ... take time ... ask for referances .. talk to others where he hangs out ... never give all trust right away... make them earn your trust ...

the reason I am not such a loving Dominate is because of this one that pushed Me .. and lied and tryed to turn it around on Me.. now I am strict .. but when they earn My trust it softens out..

_____________________________

Madam Shy
Head Domina
Bitch of Club Hell
Providence RI

(in reply to Oumae)

Post #: 6

RE: An announcement - 4/26/2006 7:09:49 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

It hurts a lot when we feel betrayed by those we agree to dom or top or own. I completely understand how you feel and respect your need for time away.

Now some folks might thing my personal approach to finding partners is complicated but it grew from my having been betrayed by a scene partner. I think asking your other partners to look over and talk to potentials is a great idea. I know that Tom and Fox both can see things and feel things that I can't; I've learned to take their advice very seriously before I'll even scene once with a person.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to SweetDommes)

Post #: 7

RE: An announcement - 4/26/2006 8:27:14 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

Good bye karen, I wish you well and bid you peace.

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 8

RE: An announcement - 4/26/2006 10:34:17 AM

EbonyFtshGoddess

Posts: 446
Joined: 1/1/2006
From: Hollywood Hills, CA
Status: offline

i don't know you personally.. i've only been posting for like a week or less...

but i will say this.. NOTHING is worse than accepting a charlatan into your home. trust me.. been there done that once. that's why now i am very cautious about my *live in slaves*.. as much as i want a 24/7 live in.. dammit if they don't do some shit to shoot themselves in the foot EVERYtime. after that incident with the one that betrayed me.. my slaves are allowed max 3 months at a time in my home until i find a suitable one..

i'm sorry you went through this.and believe me it CAN be a sticky situation to get folks up outta the house.

someone tipped me off to one of my slaves using collarme to get his thrills, he was in chastity and horny and honestly wanted to get off *on* someone else's time... that's why i joined in January because someone i know off of CM recognized a pic that he sent her that had both of us in it.. pretty much promising her what he does for me NOW. she immediately knew it was me and contactedme.

typically i dont let most net shit bother me.. but online betrayal (even to get their rocks off).. is not cool- they will betray you offline as well.

now i demand remote access and keystroke software to monitor all of my slaves activities online if they live with me or NOT. i suggest you do that if someone lives with you or otherwise.. then install it on your computer, it's the same software that companies use to monitor the access of their employees to the net..and my slaves willingly download it their computers.

i can remotely access all of their habits on their comp via my computer.. people may think an online betrayal is just *online*.. but i view it as a serious breech.. even if they *just want to get off* or fantasize with someone else.. it only happened to me once.. but it only takes once.

it's hard to stop the online betrayal. and it does happen and it will happen when they live with you too. no difference.

i hope your case works out in the best for you t, because your home is your sanctuary.. when i let someone in my home.. i want them to be true and real. but when someone i TRUST crosses me god help them.. .. and it's only happened once.. like i said.. it only takes once.

just know i've been in your shoes. and sadly, you can never really TRULY know someone's reasons for joining your household..

just take precautions like i have. i dont allow my slaves to have access to any bdsm community sites.. if they do.. i have their passwords and access to their accounts.. plus the monitoring software (which they willingly download).

subs will sneak around... not all but some do.
-ebony

< Message edited by EbonyFtshGoddess -- 4/26/2006 10:45:26 AM >

_____________________________

One Man's Phobia is Another Man's Fetish

(in reply to SweetDommes)

Post #: 9

RE: An announcement - 4/26/2006 11:14:21 AM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

Karen,

I am so sorry this happened to you. I know exactly how you feel, and how quickly you want their face out of your sight.
Yes, I am quite fussy about who I will consider, and I am a micro-manager to a certain extent for this very reason. Maybe it is a lack of trust, but if there is nothing to hide, then the boy shouldn't mind, and even be happy that I command that much of his total dedication to Me, and only Me. If he doesn't have that much free time in the first place, it is hard to even be chatting online or being outside the home arranging other shenanigans. I guess I liken the control to the parent/child relationship. There are rules, and he/sheis a slave (or submissive)... not an equal adult with his/her own life outside of the relationship.
Yes, I was betrayed, in a different way, in the 90's. That was a three year relationship, and I don't talk about it much. It has probably happened to many of us in some way or another.
By all means, take a break, but please come back when you are ready.

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to SweetDommes)

Post #: 10

RE: An announcement - 4/26/2006 6:22:29 PM

UtopianRanger

Posts: 3251
Status: offline

quote:

I'm leaving the site for awhile - I may have Holly come here in my place, since she is apparently a much better judge of character, but I don't know if she will post or anything.

Heck... you haven't been back long enough to leave again. I've always enjoyed your posts. Two things : I think you should have hung with the dude that liked you { at work-Jail } and never ever give up ; }

- R

_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton

(in reply to SweetDommes)

Post #: 11

RE: An announcement - 4/26/2006 7:08:49 PM

Misstoyou

Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

To the people that don't think we're real women, here's the proof. I am so sorry that this has happened. Take your time to heal, and we can't wait to welcome you back.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

(in reply to SweetDommes)

Post #: 12

RE: An announcement - 4/26/2006 8:50:08 PM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UtopianRanger

quote:

I'm leaving the site for awhile - I may have Holly come here in my place, since she is apparently a much better judge of character, but I don't know if she will post or anything.

Heck... you haven't been back long enough to leave again. I've always enjoyed your posts. Two things : I think you should have hung with the dude that liked you { at work-Jail } and never ever give up ; }

- R

OK, OK, so I'm still lurking a bit.

Ranger - this was the dude from work that liked me ... just so you know.
Holly thinks I should let my dog pick the next boy for us - but I'm not so sure about it.

And the worst part is that what we can prove he did is immoral and dishonest, but isn't illegal afterall (age of consent in Indiana is a year lower than I thought).

(in reply to UtopianRanger)

Post #: 13

RE: An announcement - 4/27/2006 5:29:16 AM

UtopianRanger

Posts: 3251
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

quote:

ORIGINAL: UtopianRanger

quote:

I'm leaving the site for awhile - I may have Holly come here in my place, since she is apparently a much better judge of character, but I don't know if she will post or anything.

Heck... you haven't been back long enough to leave again. I've always enjoyed your posts. Two things : I think you should have hung with the dude that liked you { at work-Jail } and never ever give up ; }

- R

OK, OK, so I'm still lurking a bit.

Ranger - this was the dude from work that liked me ... just so you know.
Holly thinks I should let my dog pick the next boy for us - but I'm not so sure about it.

And the worst part is that what we can prove he did is immoral and dishonest, but isn't illegal afterall (age of consent in Indiana is a year lower than I thought).

Wow... I remember you writing about him and thinking he sounded like a good dude for ya. - What a shame.

I have no idea what you're talking about regards immoral and dishonest behavior, but I will tell you that since he's been deputized and/or works in a jail/prison, he doesn't have to commit a crime on the books per se to be in violation of certain types of ethic statutes that involve moral turpitude.

We just had a local police officer terminated for cheating on his wife with another officer’s wife. Same thing with writing bad checks.

Anyways.... best of luck to you both.

- R

_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton

(in reply to SweetDommes)

Post #: 14

RE: An announcement - 4/27/2006 5:48:19 AM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

He doesn't work at the jail anymore - and he wasn't a direct hire for the jail anyway. He works for a company called XXXXXXXXXX (I think that's how it's spelled) which is a security staffing company. He now works at a high school as a security guard there. Which really bothers me, because the girl he was fooling around with online is in high school, but still legal in Indiana *grumbles about age of consent*

[Mod Note: Please don't post personal information about others here]

< Message edited by ModeratorEleven -- 4/29/2006 11:01:28 PM >

(in reply to UtopianRanger)

Post #: 15

RE: An announcement - 4/27/2006 4:31:07 PM

Contesaluv

Posts: 173
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

SweetDommes,

I'm sorry too! I hope to see your posts again on here in the near future. One thing I want to say briefly, don't let the schmuck keep you from your friends on here because then he's won a little piece of you that he doesn't deserve. Nonetheless, if you still choose to depart for now, I wish you a speedy recovery from this blow.

Contesa

_____________________________

Mistress C.

It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.
William Shakespeare
------------------------
In a world of so many variables, why do you have to be the norm? Anonymous

(in reply to SweetDommes)

Post #: 16

RE: An announcement - 4/29/2006 10:29:52 PM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

Quick update:

I reported him a few different places, to make sure that he is removed from his job (he works with girls the age of the one he has been cybering with and planning to meet with ... after our wedding, mind you) - and now I've found out that he may have been lying about where he works.

(in reply to Contesaluv)

Post #: 17

RE: An announcement - 4/30/2006 2:35:02 PM

GddssBella

Posts: 343
Joined: 2/24/2004
Status: offline

G'afternoon all:

Karen, my heart goes out to you. Betrayal is always ugly. When you've healed, please return. Your warm humor, tender insight and sensible outlook has always been appreciated. If you need to bend an eyeball, feel free to message me on the other side.

Above all else, do not give up hope. I found my boy in the most unlikely of places; an email group. Rather, he found me. I have been peaceful and happy ever since. I can barely sit still, waiting for his return from Israel visiting family. May 5th seems to creep it's way here, lol. My search has taken years. I do not know if this is "the" one, but the possibilities seem positive. You just never know what will fall into your lap unless you're receptive. Please Karen, remain receptive if cautious. Best of luck.

Stay safe, play nice, & share your toys w/ others...

Bella

_____________________________

Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly shouting..."Wow! What a ride!"

(in reply to SweetDommes)

Post #: 18

RE: An announcement - 4/30/2006 4:26:48 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

the reason I am not such a loving Dominate is because of this one that pushed Me .. and lied and tryed to turn it around on Me..

I think that this is one of those points that deserves some investigation. Why is it that when we take a sub at their word and do our best with and for them and they lie about who and what they are (among other more nefarious things) is it OUR fault?
Somehow it's your fault that they're collared to another and seeking not only you but those you know? My boy was doing well in his lessons until he started searching under a new profile even begging the services of a pro that I was aquainted with (new news to me as of this last week). I take responsibility for many things both good and bad in my relationships but I find it interesting when subs go "out of bounds" that we are somehow responsible for not discovering their deception sooner.

(in reply to MadamShy)

Post #: 19

RE: An announcement - 4/30/2006 4:37:43 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Holly thinks I should let my dog pick the next boy for us - but I'm not so sure about it.

Animals are very good judges of character. My first hint that something was off with my boy came from my fur kids...and his general disdain for them.

quote:

And the worst part is that what we can prove he did is immoral and dishonest, but isn't illegal afterall (age of consent in Indiana is a year lower than I thought).

Age of consent may be lower than you thought in Indiana but I'd be willing to bet that the age of consent is inversely proportional to the caliber of her daddies gun and the size of his wallet. Sometimes an angry daddy is a better tool than the police. Nothing like an anonomous letter to tell parents what their child has been up to. and DARN it if you accidentally include his picture and the address of his workplace.

Sometimes revenge is best served cold.

Edit to add in TX, CO & MN any security, peace officer and even dog catcher have to be licensed through the state. I'm oretty sure that the school district and licensing authorities wouldn't look too highly on someone that's "guarding" children trying to make sexual advances towards them. The media would also go nuts on something like this law or no law.

< Message edited by theRose4U -- 4/30/2006 4:45:27 PM >

(in reply to SweetDommes)

Post #: 20

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