RE: What's wrong with being a switch?

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RE: What's wrong with being a switch? - 10/24/2010 5:21:14 PM

Aneirin

Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
Status: offline

We live in a world where it is a human need to define, so they may consider and from that define where they stand, so for those that feel the need to define those that call themselves a switch presents problem to their range of thinking, for one just must be one polar opposite to the other for harmony to exist. In steps the switch, both sub and dom and neither one nor the other, what are they there for, well to switch as suits their need, but is it more of a case those who label as switch are the explorers of the bdsm world, for they are what they are to explore all sides to gain whatever conclusion there is if any. Perhaps switches are the rebels against the status quo, the chaos amongst the order, but whoever decided nature was ordered, we are humans, part of nature and apart from it.

But switch as a definition, what is it, for what it is does not always ring true, for there are many with many ideas places like this website fail to encompass, for one must be a bipolar opposite and that somewhere in between the questionable switch, where with each there is a different belief.

To illustrate, I am sub to one and maybe dom to another, that is my switch, the freedom to be whatever to whoever when and where it matters, I let chemistry decide, not notions propelled by ego.

_____________________________

Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone

(in reply to vield)

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Post #: 21

RE: What's wrong with being a switch? - 10/24/2010 7:22:05 PM

daintydimples

Posts: 967
Joined: 7/6/2009
Status: offline

I find this very well stated:

quote:

ORIGINAL: vield

I have tried most things consenting adults can do during my life journey. One thing that I found was that the labels we use to describe ourselves and others are not understood the same by me as by some other people. Thus whatever label you choose is your business and is correct for you because you chose it. If I see you behaving in a way that seems to not fit the label you are wearing, then I probably have not fully understood what that label means to you.

In my life there are people to whom I am a figure of power or authority, who consider themselves submissive to me. Of course unless we have actually negotiated a relationship, nothing happens between us.

In my life there are people who are figures of power or authority to me. Again, unless a relationship has been mutually negotiated, nothing happens between us.

One finds people filling superior roles and subordinate roles to us in our vanilla life all the time. Someone is boss, someone is under your direction. A military example makes this easy to see. The colonel outranks the major, who outranks the captain...sargent... corporal, etc. One can claim that they are all "switches" because they direct some and are directed by others.
I have found that in my kinky life, there will always be those whose energy or charisma interacts with mine as submissives to me. However there also are those whose charisma or personal energy feels very dominant to me. The other person may NOT be feeling this the same way I am, so confusion is possible. That is why talking things through and negotiating the limits and needs and goals are an important part of relationship building for me.
And it also is why I see switching as not only OK, but as a necessity in the BDSM scene.

Thank you, Vield

_____________________________

Some soften by the forced reflection that comes from loss; others harden. Which are you?

(in reply to vield)

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Post #: 22

RE: What's wrong with being a switch? - 10/24/2010 8:41:51 PM

dreamofthemoon

Posts: 10666
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

i'll second what dainty said. Thank you, Vield.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daintydimples

I find this very well stated:

quote:

ORIGINAL: vield

I have tried most things consenting adults can do during my life journey. One thing that I found was that the labels we use to describe ourselves and others are not understood the same by me as by some other people. Thus whatever label you choose is your business and is correct for you because you chose it. If I see you behaving in a way that seems to not fit the label you are wearing, then I probably have not fully understood what that label means to you.

In my life there are people to whom I am a figure of power or authority, who consider themselves submissive to me. Of course unless we have actually negotiated a relationship, nothing happens between us.

In my life there are people who are figures of power or authority to me. Again, unless a relationship has been mutually negotiated, nothing happens between us.

One finds people filling superior roles and subordinate roles to us in our vanilla life all the time. Someone is boss, someone is under your direction. A military example makes this easy to see. The colonel outranks the major, who outranks the captain...sargent... corporal, etc. One can claim that they are all "switches" because they direct some and are directed by others.
I have found that in my kinky life, there will always be those whose energy or charisma interacts with mine as submissives to me. However there also are those whose charisma or personal energy feels very dominant to me. The other person may NOT be feeling this the same way I am, so confusion is possible. That is why talking things through and negotiating the limits and needs and goals are an important part of relationship building for me.
And it also is why I see switching as not only OK, but as a necessity in the BDSM scene.

Thank you, Vield