RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail

RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (Full Version)

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Real0ne -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/26/2006 3:04:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Proprietrix I don't see not replying as a sign of rudeness at all, or even a slight lack of manners. If a telemarketer leaves a message on my answering machine, I'm not going to call back and say "Well thank you for considering me. I do understand that your particular cause is valid and helps many people, but at this time, I'm simply not in the financial capacity to donate to your cause." If I receive an unsolicited letter in the mail inviting me to the local church this coming Sunday, I'm not going to sit down and write a letter back that says "Thank you for inviting me to your revival, but I practice a different denomination and I'll be busy Sunday." I've more important and demanding issues in my life than replying to every single unsolicited communication, be it telephone, email, messages on a lifestyle site, or otherwise. Normally i agree with most of what you say but this part is just plain garbage. If you or anyone else considers mail from whatever you are seeking on this site unsolicited then get the hell off of it. People are here for the purpose of meeting and those who are not should clearly state it in thier profile in which case you should ignore them if they write to you against your STATED wishes. but then i dont think the op's issue is about people that do not want email. Big difference between telephone and privacy invaders compared to those who are trying to match themselves to what YOU want by responding to YOUR PROFILE REQUESTS. This is no different than a group of people going to a singles meeting and someone walking up them and introducing themselves only to have the person turn and walk away. Illegitimate emails of course ignore aside from that silence IS a statement alright. It SCREAMS LOUD AND CLEAR that the silent one is a rude sob, and from my experience in many cases nothing more than an asshole, and it shows you "what" you would have been serving. Should write them a letter back thanking them for showing what they "really" are before you wasted your time with them. The fact that people are here and are seeking others """IS""" SOLICITING FOR EMAIL! The nicest people on here to serve answer literally all thier "legitimate" email. so much for the rest! Serve at your own risk. My question is: would you really want to be with and serve someone who cannot tell the difference between what is rude and what is not? Something to think about!

blackpearl81 -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/26/2006 3:19:02 PM)
quote: I am wondering...Why is it that I wrote to 3 different Dommes in the past week and have not heard from any of them. I'm wondering.... what Domme in their right mind would even REMOTELY want a sub that reeks of "playa" (just my opinion)?? Sounds to me like you're mass mailing and hoping you strike paydirt.... I wouldn't be surprised if the Dominas on here network with one another... in fact.. I'd bet a paycheck or two that they do that more often than you think... thats 1... 2.. quote: I can assure you, each letter was detailed and without any sexual likes or wants involved in my honest polite warm friendly e-mails to them. I know many of you deal with te wanna bes, the players, the do me's that flock here for just a sexual enconter. I am not one of them. I am respectful and never suggest anything sexual or suggesting my wants, desires or needs. ok.. and your point is? your respectful.. bfd.. so am I :) It isn't anything to brag about... Wow.. so you didn't talk about sex in your first letter.. what.. you want a medal? a cookie? a bowl of ice cream ?? Even as I write this, I'm smiling.. why? Because it's one less sub that I'd have to compete against for the attention of a Domme. And yes.. in case your wondering.. "compete" ? The ratio of Dominants to submissives is more than likely somewhere along the lines of 1:50 (probably more) so it's VERY crucial that you make yourself stand out if you ever hope to obtain what you seek. (If anyone agrees with me on that...by all means.. I could use a smile :P ) Personally.. I haven't seen anything that made you stand out from the rest... Hope this helps Bp

EbonyFtshGoddess -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/26/2006 3:23:02 PM)
i asked a similiar question last week http://www.collarchat.com/how_important_is_adherence_to_your_profile%3F/m_337612/tm.htm sadly, sometimes when we respond to say thank you but i politely decline or whatever.. we get emails back ripping us a new asshole. either something in your approach or profile or email turned them off.. they may not have read it yet (often my case) .. they may have opened it, read it.. and intend to respond later.

FLsubmalecd -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/26/2006 3:27:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressLina Here's my view: I get as much as 25 emails per day. I have a job, a soon-to-be husband and a life outside my D/s role. If a letter is uninteresting I don't answer, because a few "rotten eggs" have spoiled it for me with constant nagging, pleading, begging, etc, as DivaZya mentioned. If someone hasn't read my profile, they don't get an answer, its a waste of my time. I'd like people to attach a pic if they don't have one on their profile...therefore, if you did not send one FLsubmalecd in an email to me, you would not get a response. Sort of ironic how you mention how you want your Domme to look, but there is no pic of you... Anyway, there are tons of reasons someone may not respond, reading their journal (if they have one) and profile fully is a good way to increase your chances though. Have a nice day. MistressLina, Thank you for bringing that to my attention. I had a photo on the profile but changed it. Then because the newer one was not approved due to a link at the bottom of it, I forgot to reload it with the link removed. So I just now fixed that. But of course I will have to wait for the picture to be approved before it shows up. However, there are other pictures in my profile, just not the main one showing. Again, thank you! I'd never have known it until I went back to my profile.

FLsubmalecd -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/26/2006 3:51:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: blackpearl81 quote: I am wondering...Why is it that I wrote to 3 different Dommes in the past week and have not heard from any of them. I'm wondering.... what Domme in their right mind would even REMOTELY want a sub that reeks of "playa" (just my opinion)?? Sounds to me like you're mass mailing and hoping you strike paydirt.... I wouldn't be surprised if the Dominas on here network with one another... in fact.. I'd bet a paycheck or two that they do that more often than you think... thats 1... 2.. quote: I can assure you, each letter was detailed and without any sexual likes or wants involved in my honest polite warm friendly e-mails to them. I know many of you deal with te wanna bes, the players, the do me's that flock here for just a sexual enconter. I am not one of them. I am respectful and never suggest anything sexual or suggesting my wants, desires or needs. ok.. and your point is? your respectful.. bfd.. so am I :) It isn't anything to brag about... Wow.. so you didn't talk about sex in your first letter.. what.. you want a medal? a cookie? a bowl of ice cream ?? Even as I write this, I'm smiling.. why? Because it's one less sub that I'd have to compete against for the attention of a Domme. And yes.. in case your wondering.. "compete" ? The ratio of Dominants to submissives is more than likely somewhere along the lines of 1:50 (probably more) so it's VERY crucial that you make yourself stand out if you ever hope to obtain what you seek. (If anyone agrees with me on that...by all means.. I could use a smile :P ) Personally.. I haven't seen anything that made you stand out from the rest... Hope this helps Bp You have a right to your opinion boy. But I looked at your profile and see nothing that makes you stand out either. Are you a Domme? No! So why do you think your nasty comments are worth a plug nickle to me. It's guys like you that have nothing nice to say, I'm sure you make a lot of friends thios way. LMAO Your insults are what ruin a great topic that was well received by the Ladies here.. Who are you make fun of important facts about how and what I write to Dommes? Takes all kinds. sheesh! It was not brag! I merely separated myself from the wanna bes such as yourself. You say you are respectful? Your arrogant post proves otherwise. To begin with, I don't look at my search as "competition". But if it was, you are out of my league due to your young arrogant age. I am almost twice your age. Different Dommes would be attracted to us. So stop your worry from what you call competition. By the way, it is bad to knock the competion. Best way to lose a sale. lol I have no worries with the likes of you out there "competing" as you put it. Right, I'm mass mailing S-U-R-E . If you took the time to read, you would see that I wrote to 3 three Dommes. Is that mass mailing? Know what the hell you are talking about before making a fool of yourself with statements like that. I don't think your opinion that I reek as a player is shared by any of the respectful intelligent Dommes that read this thread. I'd say you just shot yourself in the foot friend.

MistressMorrigan -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/26/2006 4:06:44 PM)
Dear boy, First off I am new to this site, but not so new to internet sites such as this and I find that wherever you go, things are pretty much the same. Obviously it is a somewhat small community, relativly speaking and I am sure the same people here use the "other" sites but here is more examples of similarity. I created a profile here to find a Female submissive and stated that several times in said profile. It states that I have my Male sub and am not looking for anyone to join or replace him. I figure that is self explanitory and people would respect my request, however: I have received many ONE SENTANCE emails from Males with comments like "are you sure you couldn't use another make to bla bla bla" or would you consider a male submissive for Bla Bla Bla" and I really have to wonder, what would warrent a reply to something like that? I mean, to assume that I would be interested in replacing my beatiful boy with a 5'6" overweight 50 year old man being laughable aside, wouldn't it be just as stange to assume 1 sentance is the level of effort that will sweep me off my feet and make me change my whole outlook on what I want? Maybe I was wrong, what a fool I was to think that my Sub is perfect for me when there is obviously this HOTTNESS one liner guy who took two seconds to 1. not read my profile and 2. do nothing to try to even remotly intrest me at all. Sometimes I think maybe I should indulge him, just long enough for him to come face to face with the boy he is trying to replace..... I'm sure he would get quite the shock and possibly loose an appendage when confronted with someone he is trying to push out of the picture. He He evil thoughts......! OK, sorry if this is turning into my personal rant here, but to answer your question....... I am already fed up replying to these people and, as stated in the beginning of this post, no reply is in fact a reply. I'm sorry because you may put effort into your attempt but thank the one liners who seem to think little of protocol when aproaching Women with such feeble attempts. They have biased us and made it all the worse for you. Good luck though...... and I hope you find what you are looking for. The Morrigan

Beatmehrdr -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/26/2006 4:23:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: blackpearl81 I'm wondering.... what Domme in their right mind would even REMOTELY want a sub that reeks of "playa" (just my opinion)?? Sounds to me like you're mass mailing and hoping you strike paydirt.... {snip} The ratio of Dominants to submissives is more than likely somewhere along the lines of 1:50 (probably more) so it's VERY crucial that you make yourself stand out if you ever hope to obtain what you seek. (If anyone agrees with me on that...by all means.. I could use a smile :P ) You answered the question of why he contacted more than one. The chances of getting any feedback from an email sent to a Domme is small, the chances of getting positive feedback to an email here is nearly microscopic. Many times I've sent a properly worded email, responding point by point to a Domme's stated profile and preferences, and haven't even received a "thanks but no thanks" in return. It simply makes sense not to wait for an eternity before sending out another email to someone else. Waiting for a reply that in all likelihood will never be sent makes no sense at all.

LadyMorgynn -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/26/2006 4:54:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: blackpearl81 quote: I am wondering...Why is it that I wrote to 3 different Dommes in the past week and have not heard from any of them. I'm wondering.... what Domme in their right mind would even REMOTELY want a sub that reeks of "playa" (just my opinion)?? Sounds to me like you're mass mailing and hoping you strike paydirt.... I'm sorry, but when does 3 well-thought out, respectful emails introducing himself to Dommes whose profiles he had read, equate to a player/mass mailing??? The fact that he only sent out 3, leads me to assume that he actually read the profiles and only responded to those he thought would be a match, becasue a player would have sent out 300 in a week! quote: ORIGINAL: blackpearl81 Even as I write this, I'm smiling.. why? Because it's one less sub that I'd have to compete against for the attention of a Domme. More like, one less Domme for you to compete for. I wouldn't touch you with a 10-foot pole with an attitude like yours, even if you matched the rest of my needs 100%. quote: ORIGINAL: blackpearl81 The ratio of Dominants to submissives is more than likely somewhere along the lines of 1:50 (probably more) so it's VERY crucial that you make yourself stand out if you ever hope to obtain what you seek. (If anyone agrees with me on that...by all means.. I could use a smile :P ) I absolutely agree. And you most certainly stand out. quote: ORIGINAL: blackpearl81 Personally.. I haven't seen anything that made you stand out from the rest... I did. His profile, which was very nice indeed and a welcome change from many of the sub profiles one sees these days.... and also, his respectful manner in this forum, which is more than I can say for YOU! You may have a decent profile also, but your attitude here seriously sucks. You might want to work on that.

MochaMistress -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/26/2006 5:13:12 PM)
If its a polite email I reply "not interested good luck in your search". If its a rude email I dont bother replying at all.

ladylexington -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/26/2006 5:46:56 PM)
You're in a tough position. Forge on, she's out there.

AAkasha -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/26/2006 6:05:42 PM)
I try to respond to most emails -- I can't imagine what some women must get in their inbox and how they have time to read it all. The problem is often a matter of time -- and, more importantly, you have to realize that by responding, even if it is a "no thank you" -- more than HALF the subs will email AGAIN after that to either say: "Thank you for the reply...can you just tell me why? This would help me so much...." "Ok -- but can we be friends? One can always use more friends!" "You fucking cunt!" Etc...you get the picture. So a polite response often just leads to more emails, and a never ending cycle -- the sub will keep it going as long as he can and not take no for an answer. If a woman has time to sit and respond to emails that's fine, but many do not. If they have 15 minutes to browse email, it's better they spend 14 of those minutes responding to the subs with whom they feel a connection. Also remember just by being ONLINE on collarme, the mailbox starts to fill up. If a woman responds to 5 emails, there are 3 more waiting by the time she is done. This is not an exaggeration. Akasha

Proprietrix -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/26/2006 6:16:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Real0ne Normally i agree with most of what you say but this part is just plain garbage. If you or anyone else considers mail from whatever you are seeking on this site unsolicited then get the hell off of it. People are here for the purpose of meeting and those who are not should clearly state it in thier profile in which case you should ignore them if they write to you against your STATED wishes. but then i dont think the op's issue is about people that do not want email. R1: I agree, we normally don't disagree. lol But take a second here and read back.... I was pretty much saying the same thing as the other ladies, just in a different format. By "unsolicited" I mean just that. My profile clearly states which people I will not respond to. If those people mail me, it is indeed unsolicited. (This is absolutely relative to the question at hand. The OP specifically said that he (as a CD) would message a Domina who has listed no interest in CDs, to comment on other parts of her profile and try to sway her into giving a CD sub a try. I, as a Domme who has CD listed as a no-go/no response, would consider that an unsolicited email.)

AAkasha -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/26/2006 6:19:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Proprietrix quote: ORIGINAL: Real0ne Normally i agree with most of what you say but this part is just plain garbage. If you or anyone else considers mail from whatever you are seeking on this site unsolicited then get the hell off of it. People are here for the purpose of meeting and those who are not should clearly state it in thier profile in which case you should ignore them if they write to you against your STATED wishes. but then i dont think the op's issue is about people that do not want email. R1: I agree, we normally don't disagree. lol But take a second here and read back.... I was pretty much saying the same thing as the other ladies, just in a different format. By "unsolicited" I mean just that. My profile clearly states which people I will not respond to. If those people mail me, it is indeed unsolicited. (This is absolutely relative to the question at hand. The OP specifically said that he (as a CD) would message a Domina who has listed no interest in CDs, to comment on other parts of her profile and try to sway her into giving a CD sub a try. I, as a Domme who has CD listed as a no-go/no response, would consider that an unsolicited email.) Subs need to consider whether or not they would be rude jerks if they did not answer 10 - 15 emails a day from gay men who state "I know your profile says you are het but I still wanted to write and compliment you..." hoping they might change their mind. Subs -- Would you carve out 1/2 of your online time to send back polite emails to all the gay men, even though half then wrote back and said "fag hater!" or "you asshole!" or "why wouldn't you just want to hang out and email each other, what's the big deal?" Akasha

Proprietrix -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/26/2006 6:30:56 PM)
blackpearl stop bickering. You guys don't even have to consider one another competition and neither of you are attractive when spatting about. You both have different good qualities and different things to offer. You are totally different generations. You come from totally different places. You both appeal to two entirely different type of women. Personally, I prefer my subs could attend a party with me, be exposed to other submissives, and get along. I'm betting a lot of other Dominas have the same expectation. Making an attack by name-calling is unbecoming of any boy. Retaliating with an attitude is equally unbecoming. (Now kiss and make-up because some of the ladies are into boy-on-boy action!) [:D]

GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/26/2006 6:47:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Proprietrix <snipped> Personally, I prefer my subs could attend a party with me, be exposed to other submissives, and get along. I'm betting a lot of other Dominas have the same expectation. Making an attack by name-calling is unbecoming of any boy. Retaliating with an attitude is equally unbecoming. <snipped> I was about the make the same observation. Whether you boys realize it or not, I, and I am sure other Dominas who post to these boards, do see unattractive qualities when the fisticuffs come out. There is a way to graciously handle things, rather than lowering oneself to the level of the opponent. I prefer to see if a boy can handle that without getting all bent out of shape. Whether you care or not is another matter entirely. And whether you care or not makes a difference to Me. I am seeing entirely too much of this lately, on both sides of the whip and the gender line. I'm beginning to wonder if I should take a break from these boards.

LadyMorgynn -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/26/2006 8:19:34 PM)
You and I generally don't see eye to eye on much, but in this instance you are RIGHT ON! I cut out most of your post for brevity, but I loved the last bit. quote: ORIGINAL: Real0ne Big difference between telephone and privacy invaders compared to those who are trying to match themselves to what YOU want by responding to YOUR PROFILE REQUESTS. The fact that people are here and are seeking others """IS""" SOLICITING FOR EMAIL! The nicest people on here to serve answer literally all thier "legitimate" email. so much for the rest! Serve at your own risk. My question is: would you really want to be with and serve someone who cannot tell the difference between what is rude and what is not?

SevereSpankings -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/26/2006 9:54:20 PM)
FLsubmalecd, I sent you a private email, Check your mailbox, If its not there; check your Bulk mailbox. S.S.

ServiceNTucson -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/26/2006 10:43:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FLsubmalecd quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold I am one of the ones ServiceNTucson tested with. I sent an email, and he replied. I never got the reply, although his "sent" box indicated his mail was not only sent, but opened by Me. Shrug As to getting his profile from the boards, I have noticed that a number of profiles have this glitch. But when I go to the home page and enter the user name in the search box, I often come up with a profile. Another glitch. That said, I always reply, albeit briefly, to any sincerely written email. I have just reopened My profile for search, and I must tell you that I am pretty detailed in My instructions for writing to Me, and not one has followed the instructions yet. I have read your profile. It is nice in some respects, and offputting in others. It still needs work, and the "heart on your sleeve" can be offputting to some Dominas. Hang in there. Good things don't happen overnight. GoddessDustyGold, it is good to see you comment here. You are definately a Lady I admire. You resonded to an e-mail I had sent you. Then after I responded back to you, You wrote again. You offered me some suggestions and opinions as it pertained to me and how you viewed me as a person and as a sub. I did not agree with all that you took the time to write to me about. But I hold you in high regard for your warm, friendly opinions even though we differ on some things. You even sahred your name. I felt honored for you beiong so personal. Thank you Ma'am. i'd like to think that if I wrote you again, I'd be responded to again. That's the kind of heart you have for other people and it shows. GoddessDustyGold, i hold you in high respect Ma'am. I'd even be proud to drop to my knees just to kiss your hand. My compliments Ma'am Now tell me you don't remember me and break my heart! lol I'd like to second what FLsubmalecd said here. Goddess, I'd say you are a class act, except I don't think it's an act. Your wit, charm and wisdom are one of the things that keep me coming back to these boards. Both collarme and the State of Arizona are enriched by your presense.

LoneGoddess -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/26/2006 10:56:22 PM)
Let me say this clearly. As with all solicitations, emails included, there is no guarantee that someone will respond. It's not a matter of rudeness, it is a matter of whether or not someone is interested in replying. Period. I try to respond to all, but there sometimes isn't time to. Or it's clear by what was written that my profile was either ignored or not even read. One liners, don't merit attention either, laziness doesn't get my attention. Overblown extremely verbose ones that appear to be form letters either. Sometimes, I am just not in the mood. It takes a pretty nice and personalized letter from someone to get my attention. But I am a bitch so there you have it. [;)] LG~

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/26/2006 11:01:40 PM)
I just read your profile, and am laughing out loud, it's so cute; she shouldn't wear a dress bigger than you, a tight 18, LMAO. I'm replying to that aspect of your profile, like Fire said: even if someone is very compatible, but wants a certain look which is not moi, I would skip his profile, possibly ignore his email ; if what his profile says is contradictory to his email and he doesn't explain the contradition to my satisfaction, I might ignore his email The honest response from me, is I respond to emails 99%; the very few times I do not are when they simply say hi, how are you (as if we are on the phone and they really could give a flying **ck, or if they sand simply a crass comment kink about my kink list. M

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