RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (Full Version)

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BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/26/2006 11:18:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Real0ne
Illegitimate emails of course ignore aside from that silence IS a statement alright.  It SCREAMS LOUD AND CLEAR that the silent one is a rude sob, and from my experience in many cases nothing more than an asshole, and it shows you "what" you would have been serving.  Should write them a letter back thanking them for showing what they "really" are before you wasted your time with them.

The fact that people are here and are seeking others """IS"""  SOLICITING FOR EMAIL!

The nicest people on here to serve answer literally all thier "legitimate" email. so much for the rest! Serve at your own risk.  My question is:  would you really want to be with and serve someone who cannot tell the difference between what is rude and what is not?

Something to think about!
I agree with you on this, strangely enough. [:-]
I say you should trust someone's actions (or inactions) as he/she shows them to you (within reasonable limits), or ignore them at your peryl.   M



NINASHARP -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/27/2006 7:59:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Real0ne

quote:

ORIGINAL: Proprietrix

I don't see not replying as a sign of rudeness at all, or even a slight lack of manners.

If a telemarketer leaves a message on my answering machine, I'm not going to call back and say "Well thank you for considering me. I do understand that your particular cause is valid and helps many people, but at this time, I'm simply not in the financial capacity to donate to your cause."

If I receive an unsolicited letter in the mail inviting me to the local church this coming Sunday, I'm not going to sit down and write a letter back that says "Thank you for inviting me to your revival, but I practice a different denomination and I'll be busy Sunday."

I've more important and demanding issues in my life than replying to every single unsolicited communication, be it telephone, email, messages on a lifestyle site, or otherwise. 


Normally i agree with most of what you say but this part is just plain garbage.

If you or anyone else considers mail from whatever you are seeking on this site unsolicited then get the hell off of it.  People are here for the purpose of meeting and those who are not should clearly state it in thier profile in which case you should ignore them if they write to you against your STATED wishes.  but then i dont think the op's issue is about people that do not want email.



People are here to meet or reconnect with others that is true. But saying to get the hell off the site, because you don't welcome unsolicited email, is rude and not up to you to make that calling.   If someone doesn't want to respond to mail, then move on to the next one, if you find that it is common that you get no response, then perhaps its not their problem, but yours.



SevereSpankings -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/27/2006 9:47:45 AM)

I heard that a hacker or two may have gotten pass CollarMe security protocals, I also heard emails have been altered and re-sent to other than the one it was originally sent to, I have had email problems as well, I have read member journals where they have rants about simular things happening to them as well. Have any of you gotten an email from someone who say they are responding to an email you sent them, An email of which you know you never sent. Well I have. A young lady sent me an email asking me why I sent her a BLANK email. I never knew she was even a member here at CM, Strange; Strange indeed.

S.S.



Reasonable -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/27/2006 9:53:45 AM)

The real issue here is one of sour grapes. I agree that the internet makes things difficult. If you don't want mail-say so.

But also remember that no everyone is going to have an interest in your desires. Replies are not mandatory. If one spends too much time brooding over things that do NOT happen-it only poisons those that do.

If a sub feels feel undesirable,maybe he or she needs to do more market research-rather than making assumptions. And calculate from that whether or not your needs are REALLY going to be met-or if you need to seek another venue.



SweetPosession -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/27/2006 12:51:21 PM)

That's not cool. I get dozens of emails a day and I still take the time to respond to each and every one. I HATE not having my notes returned, and I ALWAYS write something back, even if the note is offensive. I don't always write something nice, but I write something.



Real0ne -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/27/2006 2:08:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Proprietrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: Real0ne
Normally i agree with most of what you say but this part is just plain garbage.
If you or anyone else considers mail from whatever you are seeking on this site unsolicited then get the hell off of it.  People are here for the purpose of meeting and those who are not should clearly state it in thier profile in which case you should ignore them if they write to you against your STATED wishes.  but then i dont think the op's issue is about people that do not want email.


R1: I agree, we normally don't disagree.  lol

But take a second here and read back....

I was pretty much saying the same thing as the other ladies, just in a different format. By "unsolicited" I mean just that. My profile clearly states which people I will not respond to. If those people mail me, it is indeed unsolicited.

(This is absolutely relative to the question at hand. The OP specifically said that he (as a CD) would message a Domina who has listed no interest in CDs, to comment on other parts of her profile and try to sway her into giving a CD sub a try. I, as a Domme who has CD listed as a no-go/no response, would consider that an unsolicited email.)


Ah ok gotcha!

i had to read back but i see your angle now :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NINASHARP
People are here to meet or reconnect with others that is true. But saying to get the hell off the site, because you don't welcome unsolicited email, is rude and not up to you to make that calling.   If someone doesn't want to respond to mail, then move on to the next one, if you find that it is common that you get no response, then perhaps its not their problem, but yours.


well i see the angle she was looking at it from now. 

i was talking about legitimate email which of course "is" solicited email or we would not be here.  Legitimate email is that email which does not conflict with the "stated" desires of your profile.

The point being that many people ignore "legitimate" solicited email, that in a courteous and polite world would at least rank a thanks but no thanks.   At a minimum an acknowlegement of the persons efforts regardless if you do not like the way theyu part their hair or whatever.



ShiftedJewel -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/27/2006 2:44:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ladiespet77

    Really ,You are being way to overly dramatic and sensative.Theses women do get Allot of mail. No reply means not interested,simple. You have to be persistent and develop a thicker skin.There Will be Rejection.This has No bearing on You as a person or a sub/slave.Also asking them to respond to every letter is unrealistic.These women are Dommes(not vanilla women on matchmaker site) ,on a Free site getting tons of mail from all sorts of people. 
Finding a Good match is not an easy task. This site actually has had a pretty good responce rate for me.Compared to others.....I would say that sending out few emails over the course of a week is Not going to find You a Mistress.Or even get You a reply saying No thanks. If i send out 4 or 5 letters and get 1 reply. That is not bad. Also keep in mind a reply is a long way from a meeting and a  meeting is a long way from a good  D/s relashionship with Good  chemisty....

Be confident in who You are and what You seek.Get a stratagy and stick with it. Most of all do not compimise what You seek in a Mistress...    You will find her ...


Ok, I know that I just changed my profile.. but before I did I believe it was very well written and fairly straight foreward... Never have I been inundated with mail... hmm, that doesn't speak well of me... anyway, I have always answered my mail with the exception of mail from overseas. I answer "one liners", I answer long drawn out mail that is nothing more then someones fantasy... hell, I even answer the one that have one single word in it.
 
And I was going to comment on what a nice profile you have as well ladiespet77... until this incident...
 
quote:

  ive one or two more things to say about this topic.....First FL sub...you post a topic,then respond to just about everyone,and exspecially those who does Not share your opinion...Go back to sub/slave school.You are an idiot and a do-me sub...With Lots to learn 


I'll stand with LadyMorgynn, AAkasha, Proprietrix and GoddessDustyGold on this, you have shown me that a well written profile means nothing with an attitude like that.



paulpuckett -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/27/2006 3:26:12 PM)

This is an interesting thread with many valid reasons why an email/IM would not be answered.  There is a perception, however, that all initial emails are "unsolicited", and perhaps they are on this site.  What if the email was solicited, and never answered?  By way of example: A Domme at a party clearly tells a sub to "email me as I'd like to communicate with you."  She even hands the sub a card with her email address displayed?  Assuming, of course, that the sub's email is polite, courteous, etc.



Proprietrix -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/27/2006 3:39:00 PM)

(Hit "reply". This is not aimed at the poster above me, but just a general post.)

Ok, this is going to be a very long post, but I really wanted to give some of the guys an example of what we're talking about here. So, today when I logged on, I checked my inbox. I had 7 messages. One was from a sub I've been chit-chatting with. One was from another Domina that had a question for me. The other 5 were from male submissives seeking. I have pasted them below with all names, addresses, and identifying personal information marked with an X.
Please note the time where you are right now. And then note the time again when you get done reading this post.
Keep in mind, I will *first* respond to the boy I've been chatting with and the Domina with a question. That will take me about 10 minutes. So add that to the amount of time.
Add on the amount of time it will take to pull up and read the profiles of the 5 messages below.

********************START **********************

<deleted>

******************** END **********************

Now I've read all these messages, (none of which actually addressed me by name or did anything whatsoever to indicate they were speaking specifically to *me*) and I have 2 new ones in my mailbox.
What time is it where you're at now?
Was there any point when it got so uninteresting you skipped ahead?
What was your reaction as you read some of the words written?
How long would it take to read all those, look up the profiles and read them, and write responses?
I'd also like to have some time to catch up on the message boards and make some posts there. Do I do that? Or do I read the other two messages and respond to them as well?

Luckily, I work from home, so I have ample time on the internet. I can't even imagine what it's like for the ladies who only get a half hour in the evening to hop on line, and want to make collarme one of their stops. 

I'm not saying it's bad to receive mail. I'm just wondering what goes through the male submissive mind sometimes when they are writing (copying and pasting?) these things and then complaining about getting no response.
I have to be real honest and say, there are some of those emails listed above I wouldn't bother responding to at all.

Not really trying to make a point here, just giving the subs a peak into what it's like from the Domme side of the fence.

[Mod Note:  emails deleted.  Copying email to the forums is not allowed, even if identifying names have been removed]



paulpuckett -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/27/2006 3:50:27 PM)

Point taken, Proprietrix, and i have heard similar things from Dommes with whom i am friendly  (i know You're response was not directly to me, but general).  Frankly, i feel for anyone who has to wade through that stuff ... i lost interest in paragraph 2 of the first post!  On those occasions when i do send an unsolicited message to a Domme, i try to concisely address those items of mutual interst, commonalities, etc.  i don't always get a response, but that's OK.   It's really the lack of response to solicited correspondence that puzzles me.



Contesaluv -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/27/2006 4:05:20 PM)

I for one can say that I try to respond to all of my emails.  However, sometimes, it does get overwhelming and sometimes it is downright disappointing to see that individuals have not read your profile so that they're not wasting not only your time but theirs too.  I do tend to go back through my emails and attempt to respond to those who merit a response who I perhaps, originally didn't respond to because they arrived in my inbox when I was feeling overwhelmed.  It's interesting that sometimes I'm told how surprised the ones I respond to are that I did respond.

I think it's as simple as, if they don't respond then that should be one more that you check off the list of possibles.  If they ever do respond then woo hoo!  Just don't give up looking, it's all in the journey, not the destination.



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/27/2006 4:12:01 PM)

Hahaha 
I'm not reading all of that, but suffice it to say I got the exact same copy and paste from #1, and after the first few lines saw what he was saying had nothing to do with me (from a troll), so I replied to him, not very nicely, but I replied, lol.   M



MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/27/2006 4:20:34 PM)

I think we've all gotten Message#1 from someone who has alternatively claimed to live in TN, Washington DC, CA, the UK, NYC, among others.



Proprietrix -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/27/2006 4:25:27 PM)

I've contemplated filling out his little questionairre for shits and giggles.



GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/27/2006 6:48:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood

I think we've all gotten Message#1 from someone who has alternatively claimed to live in TN, Washington DC, CA, the UK, NYC, among others.


Ah, I missed My window of opportunity for the actual emails.  So I will draw the conclusion that email #1 was from the "Subject" boy who writes long and arduously about the legality of slavery?



Real0ne -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/27/2006 6:51:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Proprietrix
Not really trying to make a point here, just giving the subs a peak into what it's like from the Domme side of the fence.



Oh come on!  have to look at it from the bright side!  its more than 1 line LOLOL

Its a catch 22 problem.   these guys come up with "hi"  and expect an answer.  then dommes get pissed off and add no one liners so they go out and cut and paste any shit they can find just so its not a 1 liner.

Personally i think everyone is better off saying nothing about 1 liners because most of them will give you what you want but its equally shit either way.  at least a 1 liner only takes a glance of your time.   then when i write one of ya, you will at least have enough time to take a serious look [8D]  i think those who are sincere will offer a decent response 1 liner or not and recipients would be much happier if they simply learned how to differentiate those who are sincere from the jerk and handle it accordingly rather than having everyone write books as a psuedo show of sincerity






blackpearl81 -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/27/2006 8:41:32 PM)

quote:

I'm just wondering what goes through the male submissive mind sometimes when they are writing 


First, * My email to Her better be a damn good one if i hope to get a response back from Her*
That's usually the first thing that goes through my head.

Secondly,  * is there at least ONE thing in Her profile that I can talk to her about? *
Thirdly, * Is this email going to get forwarded to Her bulk mail??*
Lastly, * How does She feel about being contacted by someone my age?*

Just a few things that go through my mind at least... others may see some similarities, some wont..

Here's something to make you chuckle though:
Q. Did you hear Cher is joining the spice girls?
A. They're going to call her Old Spice.
 
Q. What happens when you kiss a canary?
A. You get chirpes, and it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease.

Hope this helps

*Bp*



mons -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/28/2006 3:42:28 AM)

Greetings


First many well answer your mail, but i
have notes on the profile that say " do not write
well not answer message and this is on so many' of the
profile, so it maybe something some of you may need t
take up wiht collarme? Also when i do write to the ones who
do have this on there profile do not write back. I hope
you do find that person who will write you.

best wishes to you [:0)

mons/jane



MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/28/2006 9:51:16 AM)

When I am looking, My decision on whether to respond to an e-mail is based on whether or not the sub has read and respected the guidelines in My profile.

In the interests of saving time for both parties, I state pretty clearly what I am and am not looking for (e.g. age, location, marital status, etc.)  I also tell the sub what information he should include in his initial reply if he wants to be considered.

If the sub meets My stated criteria, provides the information I requested, and is polite, I almost always will reply to him.  This category represents about 10% of the responses I receive. 

If, on the other hand, he (and once in a while she) chooses to ignore the guidelines in My profile (or not read it in the first place), I feel no obligation whatsoever to reply.  I feel like I have already forewarned him that he's not what I am looking for, so if he chooses to reply anyway, he shouldn't expect an answer.  It is amazing how many married men, men living outside the country, males young enough to be My son, out-of-towners here on business, etc., still contact Me.  These reponses represent about 90% of the mail I receive.  I set up mail controls so that I no longer see many of these replies in the first place.

I used to conscientiously reply to each and every e-mail, but don't have time for that anymore.  I also found that when I sent "no thanks" type e-mail to those not meeting My criteria, I would get a hateful response in return.  Or the fact that I replied at all would give the sub hope and I would get an salesman-like type reply trying to overcome My objections, LOL

About half the people I know agree with My approach, and the other half think I am very rude, but this works for Me [sm=smile.gif]

Lady Topaz



TexasMaam -> RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail (4/29/2006 10:36:23 AM)

Are they in your state?

I can't speak for anyone else here, but I have my filters set to accept email from within My state, only.

Perhaps others do, as well.

TexasMaam



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