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Submissives responsibility? - 10/25/2010 4:36:41 PM   
LovingLoyalPet


Posts: 9
Joined: 8/9/2010
Status: offline 		I have a question for the Masters in this room.
This question does not stem from anything, it is just my curious mind at work.
What would you feel a woman's responsibility is to her owner and herself?
I would also like to hear from the ladies also.
I appreciate your answers.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Submissives responsibility? - 10/25/2010 5:07:04 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~

Responsibility in terms of what? I have responsibilities to Valyraen and to myself. I also have responsiblities to my employers, to my friends and to our family. He would be disappointed in me if I were to neglect those responsibilities simply because they aren't to him or myself. I suppose you could say those are also responsibilities to him since it would let him down if I didn't. I, personally, do not view it that way.


_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LovingLoyalPet)
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RE: Submissives responsibility? - 10/25/2010 5:10:38 PM   
LovingLoyalPet


Posts: 9
Joined: 8/9/2010
Status: offline 		Responsibilities - I am not speaking of domestic duties, or materialistic things. More on a mental and servitude level.


(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Submissives responsibility? - 10/25/2010 5:16:17 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		I am responsible for being myself and not hiding/stifling who I am.  For communicating fully to him so he knows where my head is.  For loving myself and being good to myself, and for obeying him and serving him to the best of my abilities. But then when I'm being true to myself, the rest just kind of flows naturally.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to LovingLoyalPet)
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RE: Submissives responsibility? - 10/25/2010 6:56:12 PM   
StrongSpirit


Posts: 575
Joined: 4/10/2005
Status: offline 		In general, all people have a certain responsibility for themselves. If they don't, they should be institutionalized, not seeking a master. If the sub can't consent for any reason, whether it is physical or psychological, then you are not doing BDSM, you are doing rape.

Subs need to maintain their ability to consent beyond all other things. This includes the responsibility for refusing to consent - which means maintaining some limits. If you will quite literally do anything (and no one - despite the many lies - I have met actually is willing to do anything) then you are not consenting.







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RE: Submissives responsibility? - 10/25/2010 7:03:00 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		As Master likes to say....to serve, obey and please.


(in reply to StrongSpirit)
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RE: Submissives responsibility? - 10/25/2010 9:24:02 PM   
alittleevil


Posts: 235
Joined: 10/25/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LovingLoyalPet

I have a question for the Masters in this room.
This question does not stem from anything, it is just my curious mind at work.
What would you feel a woman's responsibility is to her owner and herself?
I would also like to hear from the ladies also.
I appreciate your answers.




Greetings,

My Prime Directive is "Do As I Say." My responsibilities are to serve, obey and be pleasing. I am also responsible for tending to myself, offspring, other family and duties as an employee as he wishes me to, which he makes known by modeling and by direct instruction should my basic sense, for some reason, not be enough. There's a little invisible WWMD bracelet on my left arm should he not be available for immediate consultation :-).

Peace,
aj

_____________________________

Throw me to the wolves because there's order in the pack (RHCP)

(in reply to LovingLoyalPet)
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RE: Submissives responsibility? - 10/25/2010 9:28:11 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LovingLoyalPet

Responsibilities - I am not speaking of domestic duties, or materialistic things. More on a mental and servitude level.




Still clear as mud to me. Please explain further - of course my service is to him. I have no other dominants in my life or any other romantic partners so I don't have any other responsibilities in that area but to him. As far as mentally... doesn't everyone have a responsibility to themselves and their partner mentally, to think of them and consider them regardless of their relationship style? Be it a power dynamic or not.


_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LovingLoyalPet)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Submissives responsibility? - 10/26/2010 2:27:31 AM   
dananddawn


Posts: 56
Joined: 9/12/2007
Status: offline 		I outline the duties of each slave to me that serves me when the relationship begins, so they know what they are getting into.

I also find out what areas they believe they need improvement in and, when they make sense, move him/her in that direction.

Not sure if that is with the poster meant by responsibilities...but worth a shot

_____________________________

Co-host of the Erotic Awakening podcast http://www.eroticawakening.com and authors of Living M/s http://goo.gl/cxXmh

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RE: Submissives responsibility? - 10/26/2010 2:35:17 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Every person's responsibility is to use good sense. 

And posters responsibilities include writing clear questions. 

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

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RE: Submissives responsibility? - 10/26/2010 6:17:31 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		To be emotionally open and vulnerable with him. To bring to him all my worries and concerns.

Service and obedience here aren't nearly as important as emotional transparency.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Submissives responsibility? - 10/26/2010 7:22:09 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		My only responsibilities in life are to keep a roof over my head, keep myself healthy, physically and emotionally and to be there for those I care for.

Everything else is just wish fulfillment.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Submissives responsibility? - 10/26/2010 7:38:42 AM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		My girl has only three things she is responsible for doing:

1)Obey
2) Be pleasing
3) Beautiful

All my other rules and rituals are based on these, so when she has a doubt she falls back to these basic responsibilities.


quote:

ORIGINAL: LovingLoyalPet

I have a question for the Masters in this room.
This question does not stem from anything, it is just my curious mind at work.
What would you feel a woman's responsibility is to her owner and herself?
I would also like to hear from the ladies also.
I appreciate your answers.




_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

(in reply to LovingLoyalPet)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Submissives responsibility? - 10/26/2010 7:45:55 AM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		At one point mainstream society thought the same of any that are involved in any type of BDSM. Initial consent given in an Internal Enslavement process, of a power exchange relationship, often draws these same kind of comments from within the BDSM community.

Some could argue that based on mainstream psychology, most subs and slaves have an unhealthy compulsion to be drawn to BDSM or power exchange relationships, and because of these psychological compulsions cannot give consent. Some look for relationships where they can give up all their responsibilities concerning themselves, and sometimes find someone else that will accept that responsibility. In this they find peace, contentment, and happiness.

I do agree there are some situations that are indeed unhealthy, but it usually takes getting to know what is really going on with the individuals emotionally and mentally, to make that determination.

quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit

In general, all people have a certain responsibility for themselves. If they don't, they should be institutionalized, not seeking a master.




_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

(in reply to StrongSpirit)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Submissives responsibility? - 10/26/2010 7:47:04 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		Honesty, openness (Inc. emotional), consideration, respect ( I haven't earned it why is she with Me?), effort and obedience. And particularly toward herself, common sense and take good care of My property! (she is My property)

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to OrionTheWolf)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Submissives responsibility? - 10/26/2010 9:26:33 AM   
phoenixmoonn13


Posts: 398
Joined: 6/11/2010
Status: offline 		Serve master and meet his needs be there for him be obedient and a good girl.

be who i am, be honest, don't lie, look after myself, keep myself as healthy and content as i can, explore myself and develop in ways i can expand my knowledge etc.


(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Submissives responsibility? - 10/26/2010 10:51:14 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		Just because I like it, I think I'll do this Asimov Style:

Responsibility #1: Obey
Responsibility #2: Seek to preserve her health, my health, and the health of our marriage except insofar as it conflicts with her first responsibility.
Responsibility #3: To seek to be and present to me the most authentic Carol there is except where it conflicts with her first or second responsibilities.

Her responsibility is, of course, subordinate to mine.

< Message edited by leadership527 -- 10/26/2010 11:18:53 AM >

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to LovingLoyalPet)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Submissives responsibility? - 10/26/2010 10:58:36 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LovingLoyalPet

What would you feel a woman's responsibility is to her owner and herself?
I would also like to hear from the ladies also.
I appreciate your answers.


Greetings LovingLoyalPet,

Honor, respect, and acceptance form the trinity of the framework that includes the individual parties and the union at the helm. It isn't based on BDSM precepts but a mutual understanding of the merits involved with giving, sacrifice, and the emotional undercurrent that allows these things to take place without great discontent. We are a unified team striving towards one collective goal that unifies and strengthens the bond. There's no disconnection between personal responsibilities and those attributed to the dynamic. It's a coalescence that easily melds when both parties are working on one accord. The most important lesson has been the removal of ideologies that promoted a mindset that is not conducive to being Kept and the willingness to embrace the softer less assertive aspects of my person that may seem understated but provide the appropriate balance in countenance and energy for the relationship. This entails a celebration of the feminine, an expansion of service that's inclusive of other persons aside from the Keeper, and lastly, the adaptation of a servile surrendered orientation that has slowly become a way of being as well.

Namaste,

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to LovingLoyalPet)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Submissives responsibility? - 10/26/2010 11:26:11 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		In general, all people have a certain responsibility for themselves. If they don't, they should be institutionalized, not seeking a master.
But Carol's already GOT a Master. So then I suppose I have to decide if I need to institutionalize her or not? I think I'll let it ride for now but keep tabs on it.

If the sub can't consent for any reason, whether it is physical or psychological, then you are not doing BDSM, you are doing rape.
Technically you are right, but somehow I'm not thinking Carol would see it that way.

Subs need to maintain their ability to consent beyond all other things. This includes the responsibility for refusing to consent - which means maintaining some limits.
Wow, if only my world were so clear cut. But when you don't deal in consent and limits, then what? What if it's just down to dominance and submission... .my more forceful personality dominating her more submissive one? Carol does not have the responsibility to refuse consent (see the responsibility thread). I have the responsibility to take care of her.

If you will quite literally do anything (and no one - despite the many lies - I have met actually is willing to do anything) then you are not consenting.
Yeah yeah, but since we both agree that "do anything" is literally impossible then that really isn't much of a measure for evaluating human beings and their behaviors now, is it?



_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to StrongSpirit)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Submissives responsibility? - 10/26/2010 12:26:33 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527


If the sub can't consent for any reason, whether it is physical or psychological, then you are not doing BDSM, you are doing rape.
Technically you are right, but somehow I'm not thinking Carol would see it that way.




Just to nitpick here, there is a legal precedent. Durable power of attorney gives someone the right to make decisions when I'm not capable of overriding it. It isn't designed as rape, but as protection. Same with medical directives allowing someone else to make decisions if I am too ill to.

Since submission here involves a lot more than just sex (unfortunately), he has the right to make immediate decisions for me even if I'm not reachable. IE, I'm on the train to the city where there is never any decent cell service and the repair shop calls. He has the right to tell them to fix the brakes or else decide he'll do it himself later in the week and I'll be without a car until then.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 20
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