Respect in the morning

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Respect in the morning

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Respect in the morning

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Respect in the morning - 10/26/2010 10:22:49 PM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

I see many post on topics such as being able to talk dirty enough, being able to dominate someone effectively, ect ect ect.

This isnt aimed at any group, though i am curious as to how the Dominants will respond... yes male and female alike.

Can you take a submissive/slave/bottom to the depths of depravity during the night, and still respect them in the morning... or do you have lines you would not consciously cross with someone you loved regardless of their orientation?

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

Post #: 1

RE: Respect in the morning - 10/26/2010 10:57:33 PM

BurntKitty

Posts: 3340
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: Here To Eternity.
Status: offline

As an s-type of the female persuasion, if he a takin' me to the depths of depravity at night, he'd better have his sweet ass in bed in the morning so I can worship it (rimming: yummmeh) & take advantage of morning wood. Morning cuddlesex is just continued aftercare.....
That's mah story, and Imma stickin' to it!

_____________________________

Cat Quotes

Count Boogie's Foot Fetish Anti Creepy Training video

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 2

RE: Respect in the morning - 10/26/2010 11:08:10 PM

Twoshoes

Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
Can you take a submissive/slave/bottom to the depths of depravity during the night, and still respect them in the morning... or do you have lines you would not consciously cross with someone you loved regardless of their orientation?

(Strangely, the word 'depravity' has positive connotations in my mind.)

I love people who are comfortable with their sexuality, so my respect actually increases. I like the concept of sex-positivity, actually. I don't remember ever thinking sex could be bad in any way.

I wouldn't do anything where the person is meant to feel bad about their identity, specifically. (So, no gay-bashing/racial slurs, etc.)

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 3

RE: Respect in the morning - 10/26/2010 11:34:59 PM

DMFParadox

Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

I see many post on topics such as being able to talk dirty enough, being able to dominate someone effectively, ect ect ect.

This isnt aimed at any group, though i am curious as to how the Dominants will respond... yes male and female alike.

Can you take a submissive/slave/bottom to the depths of depravity during the night, and still respect them in the morning... or do you have lines you would not consciously cross with someone you loved regardless of their orientation?

Sure.

Do it all the time.

Though there was this one Satanist chick that wanted to do things I really wasn't up for, like pretend-killing her, because it was a leeeeeetle bit too much evidence for John Law to see lying around just in case she did end up dead. Which was a distinct possibility.

Oh, and I take issue with subs who expect me to scare the piss out of them to the point where they're broken. I.E., rape scenes. Mostly because if she ever did claim rape, she'd be telling the truth. I've seen too many guys end up in prison for less.

Pretty much my standard is this: I don't judge others based on an artificial 'morality' that I hold, but may not apply to them. I judge based on my own ability to navigate the fallout of a worst-case scenario.

My own personal desires trend towards just testing limits, whatever those might be. I remember a girl who went nuts over a light spanking, who was much more delicious than a girl who was practically yawning on a St. Anthony's cross.

There's a balance I look for. Willingness mixed with trepidation. The sweet spot is when I set something up so that she discovers something new she likes and begs for more. Or hits a new level of eagerness to please, that wasn't there before. Those are good times. If it takes depravity, I'll be exactly as depraved as I need to be to get that.

< Message edited by DMFParadox -- 10/26/2010 11:57:24 PM >

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 4

RE: Respect in the morning - 10/27/2010 12:35:00 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

This depravity - why would a Dom not respect his sub for following where he took her?

I certainly respect her next morning, and adore her, and admire her etc etc. I like what you're calling depravity, but it has to be a shared journey. One I couldn't take vanilla partners to....

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to DMFParadox)

Post #: 5

RE: Respect in the morning - 10/27/2010 3:54:12 AM

BlueTrance

Posts: 5
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

I see many post on topics such as being able to talk dirty enough, being able to dominate someone effectively, ect ect ect.

This isnt aimed at any group, though i am curious as to how the Dominants will respond... yes male and female alike.

Can you take a submissive/slave/bottom to the depths of depravity during the night, and still respect them in the morning... or do you have lines you would not consciously cross with someone you loved regardless of their orientation?

It looks like a complicated question, but it's really not.

a) I wouldn't participate in any serious play (or most likely anything for that matter) with someone who I do not trust.
b) Trust and Respect are inclusive in my books. If I trust someone, then it is probably based on character qualities and evidence that suggests them trustworthy. Said qualities and evidence are more than likely to be indicative of respect as well.
c) Ergo, I could not take one "to the depths of depravity" without respect being there to begin with.
d) In the 0.1% scenario in which I regret the actions from the night before, I could not find myself having fault with the partner as I am the one in control - with responsibility resting on my shoulders.

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 6

RE: Respect in the morning - 10/27/2010 3:58:53 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

The more connected, the more I care, the more I like and respect them the more reason, enjoyment and draw to take them through hell and back... knowing that where ever I take them they trust in Me to keep them from harm and will have something positive out of it even in cases where the ONLY thing they get positive is that they are doing it for and with Me.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to BlueTrance)

Post #: 7

RE: Respect in the morning - 10/27/2010 4:22:14 AM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

He was right there 'in the depths of depravity' with me. If he can't respect me after then he doesn't respect himself, either, which makes it his problem, not mine!

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 8

RE: Respect in the morning - 10/27/2010 4:22:29 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Physical acts wouldn't effect us at all. What does cause problems, but on my part not on his, is humiliation and degradation. If he calls me a dirty whore, then I will still believe in the morning that this is how he really thinks of me, and I won't believe that he loves and respects me. My problem, not his - but enough of a problem that we can't do that.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 9

RE: Respect in the morning - 10/27/2010 6:38:33 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

I respect a lot of people for a wide variety of reasons (including some combatants whom I have faced in a terminate or be terminated situation). With reference to the specific question asked by the OP, my reply is in the affirmative. If a lad or lass will follow my lead and allow me to take them into what ever depraved situations, how could I not respect them? Perhaps my question would be to ask if they still respected me after.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 10

RE: Respect in the morning - 10/27/2010 7:17:02 AM

bighappygoth39

Posts: 633
Joined: 10/7/2009
Status: offline

Of course I have my limits, and so does my partner, so those limits are always respected and always will be. The morning after I've taken him to whatever depravities we enjoy, I always respect him. I have great respect for him at all times, anyway. In fact, he is the only man who I have ever had so much respect for and that respect seems to just get deeper and deeper as the relationship progresses. I don't think I could be in a relationship with a man I don't respect now. I feel that with respect comes trust, also, but of course, it has to work both ways.

_____________________________

I just lurrves me chesticles, I do. :)

Don't judge a book by its cover, it could well be worth a good sniff or two...

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 11

RE: Respect in the morning - 10/27/2010 7:41:47 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Yes, I can. I think I'm in a good position, tazzy, that you're familiar enough with My posts over the years that you've probably picked up on the fact that I have a great respect for clip. What we do during play doesn't change that.

I do, however, have lines that I won't cross. Not specifically in certain forms of play, but when he still had hard limits, those were always respected. We've gotten to the point where he can be played with long whips, but the crack still gives him a not so happy reaction due to his PTSD. I find this completely understandable considering the situation.

As for things like humiliation, etc, it doesn't change about how I feel about him as a human being. One that absolutely deserves My respect.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to bighappygoth39)

Post #: 12

RE: Respect in the morning - 10/27/2010 7:45:40 AM

smilingjaguar

Posts: 271
Status: offline

Personally I do not see it as an issue. If depravity means you lose respect in the morning, he is in trouble too because he was right there taking part and even controlling the depths of depravity we got into.

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 13

RE: Respect in the morning - 10/27/2010 7:50:23 AM

OrionTheWolf

Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline

I view respect differently than most, so to better answer your question I would need your definition of respect. If you mean, do I feel that they are less than what they were, then the answer is no. I have lines I do not cross, but it has to do with me, and not them. I am not sure why a responsible owner would not examine the possible impact it may have on how they feel before having their property do something.

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
Can you take a submissive/slave/bottom to the depths of depravity during the night, and still respect them in the morning... or do you have lines you would not consciously cross with someone you loved regardless of their orientation?

_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 14

RE: Respect in the morning - 10/27/2010 8:35:17 AM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

I'm not sure what the OP means by depravity. If it is things that a couple or triple or whatever have previously agreed on , or enjoy, then is it really depravity? If you both love anal sex with enemas and shit all over the bed for the two of you to roll around in and stuffing olives up the subs butt and eat them as they emerge, covered in shit, whilst drinking urine that has furmented, and sprinkling it over the submissive to add flavour, all the while wearing a cat suit and mask, is it really depravity?

Its not your fathers oldsmobile, but it doesn't mean its depraved necessarily - weird yes, but depraved! Depravity seems to me to have an element of nonconsentuality to it, with one of the participants being unwilling or shocked by the proceedings.

So far, in my life, i haven't experienced anything i would consider depraved. Maybe i'm just lucky, but maybe not. :)

(in reply to OrionTheWolf)

Post #: 15

RE: Respect in the morning - 10/27/2010 8:47:29 AM

MMsCandy

Posts: 71
Joined: 10/19/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

Can you take a submissive/slave/bottom to the depths of depravity during the night, and still respect them in the morning... or do you have lines you would not consciously cross with someone you loved regardless of their orientation?

Why not? He's the one doing them if he has issues with respect then it should start with him, not me. Of course he has limits but that doesn't mean they include things i consider depraved. His loving me simply means he knows exactly HOW to love me - short version of this is; to love me IS for him to take exactly what he wants from me. But he's not going to "blame" me for what he alone has the choice to do.

< Message edited by MMsCandy -- 10/27/2010 8:48:19 AM >

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 16

RE: Respect in the morning - 10/27/2010 8:51:09 AM

LadyNTrainer

Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes
I love people who are comfortable with their sexuality, so my respect actually increases. I like the concept of sex-positivity, actually. I don't remember ever thinking sex could be bad in any way.

This, +1.

_____________________________

Your dominant Personal Trainer for fitness and body shaping in the lifestyle. Let my fetish be your motivation.

(in reply to Twoshoes)

Post #: 17

RE: Respect in the morning - 10/27/2010 9:12:26 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

I actually completely understand the OP's question and intent. And I see everyone saying, oh yes, of course I will respect my subbie in the morning.

But I believe there are MANY, MANY people who do not understand the psychology behind what we do. When you do not understand the psychology, you do not understand boundaries and you do not understand the human psyche.

I believe there are many out there who would participate in whatever "depraved" acts they like and although they are right there in doing it, they would respect the sub far less in morning.

No matter how much everyone wants to believe in this whole open minded thing, there are those who would still look down on someone the next day.

And of course, this is not the type of person you should be in a relationship with anyway; I doubt that needs to be said.

But don't fool yourself, there are plenty of people who would not respect you in the morning, just as in vanilla life where you have sex too soon, some may not consider you a good prospect.

(in reply to LadyNTrainer)

Post #: 18

RE: Respect in the morning - 10/27/2010 9:39:35 AM

LadyNTrainer

Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
I believe there are many out there who would participate in whatever "depraved" acts they like and although they are right there in doing it, they would respect the sub far less in morning.

Yep. And them's some creepy, dysfunctional, sex-negative, self-hating motherfuckers, IMO. I've seen that particular psychology, and it feels incredibly unhealthy to me.

You really have to start by understanding that I don't engage in any form of intimacy with someone I don't at least like and respect, and higher levels of intimacy are reserved for people I care about and cherish. Sex and BDSM is intimacy, and there is no such thing as inherently "bad" sex in a moral or Puritanical sense, not if it's between consenting adults who feel good about themselves and their sexuality. That includes "advanced" sexual practices like roleplaying, humiliation, piss play, rape play, resistance/takedown scenes, spanking, bondage, etc etc.

Kink can be a minefield of emotional triggers, some of them negative. That's why it's advanced; just like any other extreme sport, you should be physically, mentally and emotionally healthy and fit before you can engage in it safely. I do view any sexual desire that you have in yourself but are unable to joyously share with your cherished and respected partner as being a potentially unhealthy emotional trigger, and probably something you should either not do at all, or seek help and counseling to be better able to do in a healthy way that doesn't damage your self esteem or your relationship.

_____________________________

Your dominant Personal Trainer for fitness and body shaping in the lifestyle. Let my fetish be your motivation.

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 19

RE: Respect in the morning - 10/27/2010 9:48:51 AM

phoenixmoonn13

Posts: 398
Joined: 6/11/2010
Status: offline

the more and harder he plays at night the more gooey and cuddly i get in the morning and the protection feeling etc of his dominance and love etc after jsut strengthens. he loves my mushy gooey side and will usually result in lots of huge loving cuddles

(in reply to LadyNTrainer)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Respect in the morning

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109