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Children - 10/29/2010 7:30:31 AM

Dorota

Posts: 2
Joined: 9/18/2007
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My master is 55 i m 29
i have a daughter (4y/o)from a previous relationship
My master have some difficulties to deal with the presence of my daughter in our 24/7 relationship
What are yours opinions about this,is it possible to have a 24/7 relationship with children?
ty for your answers
Dorota

Post #: 1

RE: Children - 10/29/2010 7:32:41 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
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This 'child centered' post absolutely violates TOS.

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Post #: 2

RE: Children - 10/29/2010 7:33:19 AM

DarkSteven

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Joined: 5/2/2008
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It is possible. You both just have to accept that 24/7 service means that you are acting in accordance with his wishes even if it must be in a vanilla manner at that time.

All three of you need to work to make this work out.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Dorota)

Post #: 3

RE: Children - 10/29/2010 7:40:33 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
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If you view the Dynamic as something you do rather than something you ARE then I guess you might have a problem. M/s is how My girl and I relate, she is under My authority when she is doing housework, When We are getting the grocerys, visiting friends, staying with family.... there is no issue. If I tell her to do something (Even if it maybe sound to others like a request, she knows she doesn't have a choice about doing it) she does it.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 4

RE: Children - 10/29/2010 7:40:54 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

child takes precedence. If he doesnt GET that.. replace him.

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(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 5

RE: Children - 10/29/2010 7:45:27 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

It takes about 7 years for blended families to deal with all the issues and for children to accept the new parent. If he expects her to obey him, he's in for a rude awakening. Especially at that young an age, they operate mainly on emotion and can't think about it logically.

Suggest he goes and educates himself on child development and what is appropriate at that age because I imagine he is expecting things from her that she is not yet capable of. Waiting 30 seconds while mom is on the phone is appropriate, waiting 20 minutes is not.

But any man that demands you chose between your child and him is not someone I would want as a stepfather. As Greedy said, her needs come first.

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Post #: 6

RE: Children - 10/29/2010 7:45:51 AM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dorota

What are yours opinions about this,is it possible to have a 24/7 relationship with children?

Of course it's possible. How the relationship is structured, however, may need to be altered, and may not fit with his ideal of what he wants for himself. There can still be head of household and an authority in place, with little ones in the house. There are certain activities that may need to take a back seat, or wait till the little one is asleep, but leadership can still effectively exist with a family in place.

I am, however, slightly curious as to why he wished to own someone who has such a young one, if he has concerns about it. Wouldn't he have worked this out before he took ownership?

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Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

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RE: Children - 10/29/2010 7:47:50 AM

NuevaVida

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Given some of the responses, I think I'm missing something. The OP did not say he wants the daughter removed, nor did she say anything about the daughter's priorities. I read it differently - that he might have concerns about what type of dynamic they can have as a result of the daughter.

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Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

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Post #: 8

RE: Children - 10/29/2010 7:53:58 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
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From: Apple County NY
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If it were just a matter of working out logistics, then she wouldn't have needed to bring it here. I'm betting that if he had kids of his own, it was many years ago and he's assuming the child should be capable of waiting half an hour while mom's on the phone. People tend to forget at what age a child can do things. And of course, if he's never had kids then he's suffering from that perfect parent syndrome that childless people get when they say "of course their kids would never do x", all of which changes when reality sets in and you discover that children are people with minds and feelings of their own.

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Post #: 9

RE: Children - 10/29/2010 8:02:15 AM

BonesFromAsh

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dorota
What are yours opinions about this,is it possible to have a 24/7 relationship with children?

Yes.

As for anything else in your post...without clarification as to what you're really asking (what "difficulties" is your master having?), anything offered would be based on speculation.

(in reply to Dorota)

Post #: 10

RE: Children - 10/29/2010 8:10:20 AM

NuevaVida

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That's a lot of assumptions to read into the OP. We have no idea why she brought it here; maybe to see how other people with kids do it - what they struggle with, what works, etc. Maybe it's only about logistics. She's just asking if it's possible. Until she explains what difficulties he is having, we don't know. Assuming he isn't placing the kid as a priority is responding to something she never said.

I'm in a relationship that will eventually go 24/7 under the same roof. He has a teen (much different needs than a toddler, of course). Of course there were some difficulties at first, because we both place his daughter as a priority and this meant having to build our relationship around her, rather than just between us two. This is not limited to just logistics, it encompasses our relationship as a whole. Fortunately for us, we talked about it a lot and the relationship between the three of us has evolved very smoothly. Doesn't mean there weren't some concerns along the way, or compromises when we wanted to plan something for a weekend but her schedule dictated otherwise. Or when we feel we really need some "together-alone" time, but have to wait another week to get it.

Those things can be difficult for anyone to adjust to, but it doesn't mean you're not placing the kid first, or making the parent choose. It just means they need to be considered and worked around.

In our case, we have chosen to move very slowly, since his daughter has had too many disruptions in her young life (thanks to her mother's multiple marriages and an unsuccessful live-in relationship her dad had), so giving her a stable home where Dad is available to her (emotionally, mentally and physically) takes precedence. Do we both wish we could live together now? You bet. Are we willing to wait for the benefit of his daughter? Absolutely.

These things can be construed as "issues" but we don't see them as such.

Anyway, this is why I expressed concern that they are already "Master and slave" before working out such a critical thing as a little one in the house.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

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Post #: 11

RE: Children - 10/29/2010 8:19:32 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
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I too find the assumptions odd. What was being asked was about the Dynamic being in place 24/7 being compatible with a household with other factors such as kids. The answer is yes.

First rule I'd have in place was that the kids needs come first, then she would never have to feel that she is letting Me down by doing what most here would consider the only way to do right by the kid.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to NuevaVida)

Post #: 12

RE: Children - 10/29/2010 9:46:49 AM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dorota

My master is 55 i m 29
i have a daughter (4y/o)from a previous relationship
My master have some difficulties to deal with the presence of my daughter in our 24/7 relationship
What are yours opinions about this,is it possible to have a 24/7 relationship with children?
ty for your answers
Dorota

Yes it is possible.... I am doing it with two slaves and 4 kids in the house. HOWEVER, it is not always possible for anyone that want's these types of relationships. It really depends on your specific expectations and desires of the relationship and if they conflict with having children in the house.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Dorota)

Post #: 13

RE: Children - 10/29/2010 10:00:19 AM

MIsabelah

Posts: 57
Joined: 9/7/2010
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Dorata, in order to answer this question, you need to be more clear about what it is you master is having difficulties with? Could you be more specific?

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 14

RE: Children - 10/29/2010 10:04:03 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dorota
What are yours opinions about this,is it possible to have a 24/7 relationship with children?

Uh... last I checked, people have been having "24/7" relationships and raising children for some time now. Don't we call that marriage? I think it works out reasonably well assuming both parties actually have signed up to the goal of raising children.

Insofar as how an authority dynamic unfolds in the presence of children, what's the question? Children, will change things... just as they would in a vanilla marriage. No more sex on the living room floor at 4:00pm. But other than that, what's the issue? I tell Carol what to do. She does it. There's nothing terribly embarrassing or difficult to explain. For me, it'd still be me coming first... I always come first... at least in her eyes. Of course, if I own and have accepted responsibility for Carol, then that means by definition any minor offspring of hers. So their needs are going to factor heavily into whatever commands I give.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Dorota)

Post #: 15

RE: Children - 10/29/2010 10:35:38 AM

Toppingfrmbottom

Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
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I think it's possible if the head of the relationship is a reasonable person with reasonable expectations of 24/7 and of someone, who is first a mom

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Post #: 16

RE: Children - 10/29/2010 12:00:43 PM

lovingpet

Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline

Without clarification, which I doubt we are going to get, all I can say is twofold. Yes, a dynamic relationship such as these can occur within a household with children. Like others have said, it is about how you relate more than it is about any particular kink. So he won't be having me sit at his feet nude to watch CSI since I have saplings about. Big deal. The point is that I will be nude when he DOES require it. The point is he will order or "request" and I will obey. Not everything about 24/7 can be so flagrant whether it be because of children or someone's parents are visiting or it just plain would cause problems in some way. It's a quiet and simple existence hopefully spent filling each other up rather than expecting to be filled. It is having the benefit of a structure for how you do life together. Everything else is just abundance and extras.

If this is what others suspect and this man wants to not deal with the responsibilities and issues of helping you raise your children, then bluntly he's not the right one for you. You can attempt to make him "right" for you, but in the end it is the child that is going to suffer. This is your little one and depends on you to have a stable and healthy home in which to grow up. That is your absolute duty as a parent. Plenty of parents push this aside in order to put self first and have what they think they just have to have. I don't care how much you love each other or you think this man is the only one for you. Sometimes what we want simply has to wait.

Maybe it's a matter of timing and you can go forward when she is a bit older. Maybe he wants no part of doing the daddy thing all over again. Maybe, maybe, maybe. You have an obligation to your children though and a lot of other things became secondary the moment that test turned up positive. You even have a LEGAL obligation in some areas. Make sure your priorities are right OP. You only get one shot at doing this thing right. I hope you take the time to make sure you are doing exactly that. I wish you the best going forward.

lovingpet

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If you put your head into more, you'd have to put your back into less. ~Me

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(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)

Post #: 17

RE: Children - 10/29/2010 12:15:43 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida
I'm in a relationship that will eventually go 24/7 under the same roof. He has a teen (much different needs than a toddler, of course). Of course there were some difficulties at first, because we both place his daughter as a priority and this meant having to build our relationship around her, rather than just between us two. This is not limited to just logistics, it encompasses our relationship as a whole.

One teen, you've got it easy. We have five between us, between the ages of 17 and 22. It's a zoo, trying to manage everybody's needs. His youngest is just moving in, to start a college program up here. His daughter did that a couple of years ago. My youngest is also talking about community college instead of a four year program. We expect to have no time to ourselves. In the summer, when my oldest is home from school, we have no alone time since she's a homebody.

But yes, all of the members of the family including the pets, must like the new person. And they must forge their own relationships not always having the bio parent being the mediator.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to NuevaVida)

Post #: 18

RE: Children - 10/29/2010 2:26:15 PM

elleX

Posts: 161
Joined: 10/24/2009
Status: offline

Hello Dorota,
it is a big change for your lil girl and for the Master you are with ,
Your daughter might feel more insecure because of the new addition in the familly and will surely need to reassure her position ; You are her security ,, no one else will replace you ,, that is about motherhood ...
that might not please you and your Master ,,but that is the truth
also what do you mean about 24/7 you and your Master have to know,,,i hope this is not base on fataisy only,,,,

please write us back

(in reply to Dorota)

Post #: 19

RE: Children - 10/29/2010 2:27:35 PM

January

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Joined: 4/17/2004
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quote:

My master have some difficulties to deal with the presence of my daughter in our 24/7 relationship

The word "presence" is why some folks are worried about the priorities in this particular household. Including me. I don't think the word "presence" leaves all that much to the imagination. It sounds like the old Master is annoyed by the very existence of this little girl. It's inconvenient for him that the girl is alive.

I agree with the people like GreedyTop, who have said that the first duty of the mother is to the child. Always. BDSM or not. 24/7 or not.

So unless the OP comes back and says something different that clarifies things, I'm not going to address how to do BDSM with kids in the house. I think there are some other, more important issues that need to be confronted first.

January

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[link: http://www.bookstrand.com/miss-you-sir] Miss You, Sir by January Rowe is available from Siren now! It's my latest smokin' hot bdsm romance.[/link]

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Post #: 20

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