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RE: Is courtesy no longer a requirement for civilized p... - 11/1/2010 12:46:29 PM

VaguelyCurious

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I <3 LaT

My grandma was unspeakably rude to people who pissed her off. Trust me, she was worse than just being ignored would have been...

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RE: Is courtesy no longer a requirement for civilized p... - 11/1/2010 12:57:18 PM

submitting4U

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Courtesy from a sub flows more easily, their natural position is to acquiesce to authority, in that vein, showing manners and deference to tops/sadists flows more naturally. Most Dominants do not reciprocate curteousness with me, a sub/slave. They typically yell, demand, scold, and become annoyed quickly with any perceived power move, the latter occurs when you the sub asks even a nuetral question. The interenet is impersonal in many ways, a perfect venue for rude people regardless of their backgrounds. The formal training structures, religion/family/community are dissolving before our eyes. It became culturally cool at some point to be loud, verbose, and "in your face" obnoxious! Additionally, doms refer to subs as less than human, worms, dogs, etc, with that comes little regard for civility ... should DOMS expect more in return? The answer is yes in the short run and probably no in the long term. It is hard to sustain worship of a Dom for which You have little real respect. BDSM does not transend the cultural norms, rather it is reflective.

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RE: Is courtesy no longer a requirement for civilized p... - 11/1/2010 1:01:36 PM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: submitting4U

Courtesy from a sub flows more easily, their natural position is to acquiesce to authority, in that vein, showing manners and deference to tops/sadists flows more naturally. Most Dominants do not reciprocate curteousness with me, a sub/slave. They typically yell, demand, scold, and become annoyed quickly with any perceived power move, the latter occurs when you the sub asks even a nuetral question. The interenet is impersonal in many ways, a perfect venue for rude people regardless of their backgrounds. The formal training structures, religion/family/community are dissolving before our eyes. It became culturally cool at some point to be loud, verbose, and "in your face" obnoxious! Additionally, doms refer to subs as less than human, worms, dogs, etc, with that comes little regard for civility ... should DOMS expect more in return? The answer is yes in the short run and probably no in the long term. It is hard to sustain worship of a Dom for which You have little real respect. BDSM does not transend the cultural norms, rather it is reflective.

Yanno, I was going to highlight a few points then make comments but really, this whole post is false. Some of the rudest people I've encountered were 'submissive' and some of the kindest, most well mannered, were dominant.

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RE: Is courtesy no longer a requirement for civilized p... - 11/1/2010 1:06:29 PM

Lockit

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I disagree that submissives are more easily and naturally courteous than dominants. Some may be, but as a whole, it is an individual thing. I am courteous with my partner. I am not always courteous to everyone, but if I am not, I have reason for it.

I believe some people get deep into a role and play harsh dominant with virtual strangers and some have those dynamic's by choice, but I wouldn't say that is how it works for most. Those I know that are dominant are just as courteous as the submissives I know.

Dominance doesn't amount to rudeness. Bottom line.

< Message edited by Lockit -- 11/1/2010 1:14:46 PM >

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RE: Is courtesy no longer a requirement for civilized p... - 11/1/2010 1:07:55 PM

mnottertail

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Yeah, I know alot of subs who haven't the decency but to get shit on your fuckstick (and it smells like shit, not like licorice) during anal intercourse, like how rude is that, or am I the only one?

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 11/1/2010 1:08:51 PM >

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RE: Is courtesy no longer a requirement for civilized p... - 11/1/2010 1:15:05 PM

DomMeinCT

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OP, here are my thoughts:

Where you choose to spend your energies is up to you, but this IS the internet, and that means:
~ There is more anonymity
~ People can break ties much more easily by simply ceasing to communicate electronically
~ Your definition of "courtesy" is bumping up to a MUCH WIDER continuum of what others define as courtesy*, well beyond what you might define as "common courtesy" when interacting with others in person/by phone. The only thing you can change is your acceptance of this, or learning to focus on the positive and not letting it bother you as much, because no one else is going to change their behavior no matter how much you post about it.
~ Everything you post on various websites can live "forever", and can be viewed by all potential partners you seek. In addition to reading your profile, think about the totality of posts you make on a message board and how a potential partner would see you....focused on the positive? Negative?

*You may also be meeting people for whom courtesy (as you define it) is not important at all, whether you agree that's "wrong" or not.

< Message edited by DomMeinCT -- 11/1/2010 1:17:08 PM >

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RE: Is courtesy no longer a requirement for civilized p... - 11/1/2010 1:15:52 PM

Lockit

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mnottertail,

Leave it to you to blend two threads and make it work for you!

< Message edited by Lockit -- 11/1/2010 1:16:41 PM >

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RE: Is courtesy no longer a requirement for civilized p... - 11/1/2010 1:59:01 PM

barelynangel

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When people are typing pretty much demanding a courtesy from people they consider themselves owed something. I read the op as indication they are owed something from these people who leave w/o a by your leave. Is it polite? Not to the op obviously. But it is a concept that occurs because of the venue. Without knowing why the other person stopped talking to you it's hard to judge if they are being the definition of courteous or not. Maybe the did give you a reply. Just not the one you wanted and so they just stopped communicating.

All in all it's the internet. While you may think you are someone they should take a few seconds to tell you something, obviously you aren't that important to them to waste even a few seconds on. But also realize, some people could just be wanting your contact info. Once they have it they hAve no need to continue communications.

So again look at the venue you are on. Until someone is vested in you, you aren't that important or real. While you think u are and most people think they are. I would say to 99 percent of people you aren't worth the 5seconds it would take go respond as they have already moved on. Do they really owe you what you deem a courtesy because you see yourself as real?

The internet is a harsh reality to admit. For in the joys of anonymity you actually do become anonymous. In being anonymous you become easily disposable to most.

Angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 11/1/2010 2:04:34 PM >

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RE: Is courtesy no longer a requirement for civilized p... - 11/1/2010 2:16:47 PM

BBBTBW

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This is an e-mail conversation I had earlier today. For ease of viewing, I have made my text purple and enlarged it overall. I also shortened the slave's name so as to protect his identity. For the record, this is not someone I have ever spoken to before. I guess I should consider his age..25 and lack of life experience. This is typical of male submissives though..(there are always exceptions to the rule) I read the first message then looked at his profile, thats how I found out what he was currently involved in.

slave on 11/1/10 at 1:29 PM:

hello mistress.. how are you? am willing to be your slave and serve you. am an honest and loyal slave.. am willing to relocate and for ltr.. serving you would be a great honor.. pics available..

BBBTBW on 11/1/10 at 1:32 PM:

How do you have time to serve if you are a medical student, they barely have time to take nature calls.

slave on 11/1/10 at 1:34 PM:

lol.. no mistress.. its not like that.. i do have time..

BBBTBW on 11/1/10 at 1:36 PM:

How would you continue your studies if you relocate? I don't live in a town with a huge college.

slave on 11/1/10 at 1:38 PM:

oh ok.. that would be a problem.. any medical schools nearby mistress? coz i can relocate to you.

BBBTBW on 11/1/10 at 1:45 PM:

I think you need to put more thought into what you can and are willing to do.

slave on 11/1/10 at 1:56 PM:

mistress i believe its not the slave who can demand such things.. slave is only for the wishes and demands of the mistress whom he should make happy. so i will do anything you ask of me. and i will do it with great care and loyalty..

BBBTBW on 11/1/10 at 2:10 PM:

Ok, give up your studies, come and live in my garage chained to the floor while put a 24/7 webcame on you, starve you, make you live in your own waste material and never see the light of day again.

slave on 11/1/10 at 2:12 PM:

hey if u r not interested bitch just say so.. dont beat around the bush.. u fucking lazy prostitute..

BBBTBW on 11/1/10 at 2:15 PM:

WHOA.....hold on....go back and read the WHOLE conversation. I tried to give you some sage advice. Then I gave you a scenario based upon YOUR response....

And um, how is it that I am a Lazy Prostitute?

slave on 11/1/10 at 2:23 PM:

fuck off go eat dog shit

Talk about curteous and rude

< Message edited by BBBTBW -- 11/1/2010 2:22:03 PM >

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RE: Is courtesy no longer a requirement for civilized p... - 11/1/2010 2:38:45 PM

January

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quote:

oh ok.. that would be a problem.. any medical schools nearby mistress? coz i can relocate to you.

I would have terminated the conversation at this point. The slave is living in make-believe land.

January

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RE: Is courtesy no longer a requirement for civilized p... - 11/1/2010 2:39:44 PM

Nslavu

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I hope Hallmark is paying attention. (I sent them a letter but they discourteously did not respond!) I think there's a huge untapped 'fuck-off' card market.

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RE: Is courtesy no longer a requirement for civilized p... - 11/1/2010 2:44:02 PM

January

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Hallmark is fake.

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RE: Is courtesy no longer a requirement for civilized p... - 11/1/2010 2:55:40 PM

SpiritedRadiance

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Maitreandslave

Why do people have no courtesies any more. If you speak to someone through here and then move to messenger or something and change your mind just tell them that you have changed your mind. It is rude not to at least give the courtesy of saying something. I guess it is easier to just drop the call and move on.

quote:

ORIGINAL: subkatslut

I can't even fathom sending someone a reply to their profile saying I'm interested, exchanging a few emails and then simply deciding meh not for me and at least not sending something off saying thanks for taking the time to talk to me but I've decided you're not what I am looking for. Which is far more couteous then simply never responding again and perhaps even leaving them hanging wondering for a little while if I'm just busy or tied up or lost interest.

Come To my Inbox or My Ims, Ive been told when my profile clearly at the time said looking for friends, that they hope a rapist comes to my house ties me down rapes me my family and every female I know and that hopes I cry as that psycho slowly cuts up my mother my father my sister then tortures me to death. This guy lived 10 miles from me according to collarme miles.

All because I said You seem very nice but im not currently looking for anything but friends right now, I just got out of a bad relationship and am looking to heal.

Or the best your just a fat cunt I didnt want you anyway responses.

When All the messages I get from men women dom sub starts expressing courtesy for my choices of no interest. Ill start telling them hey im sorry but Im not interested.

Also some people tend to be messenger stalkers, I currently have someone who I talked to for about 2 months on IM before he mentioned he was married, I explained we could remain friends, but nothing more would happened, He wouldnt accept that so I blocked his screen name, and his 37 other screen names hes messaged me on since.......

Dropping off the face of the earth is much easier then dealing with the stress of the above.

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RE: Is courtesy no longer a requirement for civilized p... - 11/1/2010 3:27:03 PM

BBBTBW

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quote:

ORIGINAL: January

quote:

oh ok.. that would be a problem.. any medical schools nearby mistress? coz i can relocate to you.

I would have terminated the conversation at this point. The slave is living in make-believe land.

January

I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt...obviously there was no benefit to be had.

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RE: Is courtesy no longer a requirement for civilized p... - 11/1/2010 4:15:43 PM

littlewonder

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maybe they stopped talking to you cold turkey is because they realized that you are the rant type of person and wanted to get out while the gettin was good. I've done this because through the conversations I realized it was easier to just disapear than listen to them complain about everything or knew they were the type of person who would go onto the forums and cry about their hurt feelings.

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RE: Is courtesy no longer a requirement for civilized p... - 11/1/2010 4:22:00 PM

curiouscuriouser

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BBBTBW
This is an e-mail conversation I had earlier today. [...]

I hate to say anything about him directly because those types live off of negativity. You, however, are deserving of sainthood for not stooping to his level.

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RE: Is courtesy no longer a requirement for civilized p... - 11/1/2010 4:37:32 PM

poise

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Im sorry that in the short time you have been here on Collarme, you have had
enough negative experiences that compelled you to write of them in this forum.
I'm sure we have all crossed paths with those we felt could have been more polite,
but we can't force anyone to behave in a manner that we feel is more suitable.

Consider yourself fortunate that you weren't invested more in the relationship
process, and are now free to focus your search on one more worthy of your time.

I would like to add as a precaution that what you are searching for on the other side is not going to be easy.
There are going to be many scammers out there that will take advantage of that fact and appear to be
everything you've been hoping for. That is, until they get pertinent enough information from you.
That they made the suggestion for off-site contact would be a red flag for me, and perhaps something
you should contemplate in the future. Best of luck to you both.

< Message edited by poise -- 11/1/2010 4:38:08 PM >

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RE: Is courtesy no longer a requirement for civilized p... - 11/1/2010 5:04:19 PM

barelynangel

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As for the conversation posted -- i think you simply decided to bait him. Instead of just saying hey i am not interested you came up with a scenerio i doubt you would ever do if you have common sense at all. So on many levels i agree with him, if you were no longer interested, you should have just said so. I am not advocating his replies or calling you names. But your own behavior set you up for same. And if you bait someone, you should know you may not get responses you want. You have a responsibility also, if you are seriously no longer interested then end communication and move on instead of baiting someone with a stupid , dangerous and non-common sense scenerio i highly doubt you would even contemplate with a slave.

angel

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RE: Is courtesy no longer a requirement for civilized p... - 11/1/2010 5:09:28 PM

sunshinemiss

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Maitreandslave

If you read I was speaking of a personal observation that dealt with me and my girl and was not ranting about all in the lifestyle. I asked a simple question. Is courtesy in the lifestyle gone and also stating that it should be observed.

In the lifestyle? No, people generally are quite courteous.

However, you have chosen to utilize the internet where people who are *not* in the lifestyle go to try to get a little tickle. They have an agenda. You don't meet their agenda, they leave.

Get thee to a munch.

best,
sunshine

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RE: Is courtesy no longer a requirement for civilized p... - 11/1/2010 6:20:55 PM

DesFIP

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TotalDiscipline

quote:

Please understand that nobody on the internet owes you anything.

neither in the real world, but courtesy is about the things we don't ow eachother...but do it anyway

Except in the real world if I tell some guy trying to pick me up that I'm not interested, all he does is go off in a huff. He doesn't start saying that I'm too fat to fuck or that he's planning to gut me with a knife starting in the vagina and working his way up. And yes, that's the kind of response we get online when we say no thanks.

Beyond that, if I don't know you and you start sending me unwanted email, that's spam. So tell me, when you get a letter asking you to open another credit card, do you have the courtesy to write them back saying no thanks? Why not, if we're supposed to use courtesy in response to spam why don't you?

No response is a response and men who rant and rave about not getting responses are thought to be the ones most likely to spew venom when they do get turned down. In other words, anybody reading these kinds of posts are saying to themselves that they don't want to get involved with you.

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