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Commando Week: An Immodest Proposal - 11/4/2010 3:00:12 PM   
ThatDaveGuy69


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Airline security in the US continues to be largely a matter of window dressing – the ultimate Theater of the Absurd. The latest wrinkle in this already twisted tale is the growing use of the Full Body Scanner. This is a type of x-ray machine that can see through whatever you’re wearing to produce an image of your body that the late Bob Gucnione would have been proud to publish. I’m no prude when it comes to the human body. I’ve attended Burning Man twice and on both occasions I spent plenty of time wearing nothing but shoes, a hat, and a smile. But that was my choice. No government agency made me do it. And, of course, not everyone shares that same joy of nakedness. In fact, some people are very insecure about their body and wouldn’t be caught dead unclothed in public. And they certainly wouldn’t want a random TSA worker viewing their body scan image on a screen, no matter what. We’ve been told time and again these images are secure and that only the TSA agents will ever see them. And yet such images keep popping up on the internet. And all the time there is no demonstrable increase in airline security. Now you DO have the right to opt-out of the full body scan but you will then be subjected to a much more thorough pat-down type of search.

What we need is a movement. So in the great traditions of “Draw Mohammed Day” and “Boobquake” I would like to immodestly propose Commando Week.

From November 22 through November 29 I encourage all US travelers to skip your undies when you dress prior to your flight. Further, women should wear a skirt and men should wear a kilt. At the security line, tell the nice TSA person that you do not wish to go through the full body scanner and would happily stand for the enhanced pat-down. Feel free to tell the agent assigned to you about your lack of undies – or let them discover this on their own. Either way you should be prepared to moan and sigh erotically while being searched.

If 2 or 3 people on every flight do this I suspect the TSA will very quickly change the way they do business. And even if they don’t you can at least say you tried.

OK, so the downside is that you will forever after be subjected to additional security and maybe put on the infamous Do Not Fly List. Worth it!

~Dave



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RE: Commando Week: An Immodest Proposal - 11/4/2010 3:56:11 PM   
poise


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Can I start now? You know......practice and all?
I'm actually going to be flying home from Florida on the 26th.
Watch out TSA!

< Message edited by poise -- 11/4/2010 3:58:21 PM >


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RE: Commando Week: An Immodest Proposal - 11/4/2010 4:57:28 PM   
BurntKitty


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Oooh, yessss!!!!  I'll do it.   When is Commando Day???  And more importantly, where can I fly to?




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RE: Commando Week: An Immodest Proposal - 11/4/2010 5:33:21 PM   
Hillwilliam


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I learned when I was in college that zippers and private parts dont go well together. No commando for the Hill dude.

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RE: Commando Week: An Immodest Proposal - 11/4/2010 8:12:14 PM   
Arpig


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I still fail to see what the big deal with the scanners is...much ado about nothing if you ask me.

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RE: Commando Week: An Immodest Proposal - 11/4/2010 9:00:01 PM   
tazzygirl


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I have to agree, Arpig. Alot of complaining for something that is less intrusive than the hospital, Drs office or local jail.

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RE: Commando Week: An Immodest Proposal - 11/4/2010 11:21:30 PM   
Termyn8or


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FR

I say all the guys should get PA piercings and wear Christmas ornaments on their,,,,,, you know. Watch the bomb squad in action !


T

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RE: Commando Week: An Immodest Proposal - 11/5/2010 3:35:27 AM   
MissAsylum


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Like I need a reason not to wear undies.

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RE: Commando Week: An Immodest Proposal - 11/5/2010 6:28:44 AM   
thornhappy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or
FR

I say all the guys should get PA piercings and wear Christmas ornaments on their,,,,,, you know. Watch the bomb squad in action !

T

Awesome idea!  Reminds me of the cucumber scene in Spinal Tap!

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RE: Commando Week: An Immodest Proposal - 11/5/2010 7:05:02 AM   
GreedyTop


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damn.. where IS that DVD??

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RE: Commando Week: An Immodest Proposal - 11/5/2010 7:34:28 AM   
Hillwilliam


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or

FR

I say all the guys should get PA piercings and wear Christmas ornaments on their,,,,,, you know. Watch the bomb squad in action !


T



*squicks* Let's not n say we did.

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RE: Commando Week: An Immodest Proposal - 11/5/2010 4:34:10 PM   
thornhappy


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C'mon!  You know you want it!

Now, if you'd just straighten your legs....it'll only hurt a minute...

Hey, where are you going??!!

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RE: Commando Week: An Immodest Proposal - 11/5/2010 5:46:44 PM   
BurntKitty


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I can haz a 'personal pat down', nao?
Kthx.


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RE: Commando Week: An Immodest Proposal - 11/5/2010 8:55:46 PM   
Malkinius


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Greetings Dave.....

You really don't have a clue about the scanners or the TSA do you? I am certain hundreds of people a day go commando through TSA checkpoints. It won't bother or surprise them in the least. The same for piercings or even things like locked on collars. They have seen it and those things are in their manuals and training with procedures to deal with them. The same is true for the various sex toys and other erotic implements. They have seen it multiple times. Just like the people who work the counter at an adult store, they don't get excited or offended by what they see all the time.

As for the pat downs....I get those every time I fly. Well....OK...the last time I didn't because I got to use the full body scanner. A quick chemical wipe of my shoes and I was on my way. That was the fastest I have gone through security since TSA took over. Normally it takes me about ten to fifteen minutes to go through. This time it was five and the TSA people were as polite and professional as they always are. Of course, I know how to get through easily and stay on their good side so that does help. Despite all the hype, bad situations with airport screening are very rare.

As for how much they help. Well, remember that the 9/11 hijackers went through the security at the time and they followed all the rules in place at that time. The brought nothing on board that was not, at that time, allowed. It does keep out most of the amateurs and fools and slows down the professional terrorists. It is only one layer and no layer is 100% effective. But, as has been pointed out....two 90% effective layers keeps out all but 1% of the problems and it goes down with each succeeding layer by a factor of ten. You really don't have to worry until it gets down to a million to one chance (because those always happen when Terry Pratchet is around). <grins>

But....whatever you want to wear is up to you. Just don't think you are going to change anything or both anyone by doing it.

Be well.....

Malkinius

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RE: Commando Week: An Immodest Proposal - 11/6/2010 2:14:44 AM   
Termyn8or


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Archie Bunker had it right. just pass out the pistols on the way into the plane, nobody would try anything if they knew everybody was packing.

And you have no idea how flippant that statement is NOT. They won't even let the pilots carry heat, what kind of fucked up logic is that ?

T

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RE: Commando Week: An Immodest Proposal - 11/6/2010 9:08:59 AM   
Malkinius


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Greetings Termyn8or....

quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or

Archie Bunker had it right. just pass out the pistols on the way into the plane, nobody would try anything if they knew everybody was packing.

And you have no idea how flippant that statement is NOT. They won't even let the pilots carry heat, what kind of fucked up logic is that ?

T


The average person these days couldn't hit the broad side of a barn from the inside with a pistol, let alone a hijacker in a stressful situation. So arming everyone is a bad idea. Some pilots are armed. They can take a class that allows them to be armed in the cockpit. So far a good percentage, but not most, have done so. There is no way to know if any pilot or first officer is armed on any given plane. Less of a chance to know than to spot an air marshal on one which is not that hard if you know what to look for or where to look.

Be well....

Malkinius


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RE: Commando Week: An Immodest Proposal - 11/6/2010 10:04:05 AM   
thornhappy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Malkinius
As for the pat downs....I get those every time I fly. Well....OK...the last time I didn't because I got to use the full body scanner. A quick chemical wipe of my shoes and I was on my way. That was the fastest I have gone through security since TSA took over. Normally it takes me about ten to fifteen minutes to go through.
Be well.....

Malkinius

Why does it normally take you 10-15 minutes?  Generally I walk through the magnetometer and wait a minute for my belongings.  Once in awhile they unpack my stuff on a secondary inspection.

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RE: Commando Week: An Immodest Proposal - 11/6/2010 10:15:01 AM   
SorceressJ


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~




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RE: Commando Week: An Immodest Proposal - 11/6/2010 10:53:21 AM   
Termyn8or


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Oops.

T

< Message edited by Termyn8or -- 11/6/2010 10:54:45 AM >

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RE: Commando Week: An Immodest Proposal - 11/6/2010 1:16:14 PM   
AquaticSub


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Sorceress...

I want to thank you. I have been having a very crappy day and you posted something that made me giggle insanely.

I want to send that picture to all the military folks I know.

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