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How do you deal with broken trust? - 4/27/2006 4:48:42 PM   
sylphgossamer


Posts: 383
Joined: 1/22/2006
Status: offline 		How does a submsissive/slave deal with a Master who breaks an understood trust they had between them, especially if this trust is a cornerstone of their relationship?

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RE: How do you deal with broken trust? - 4/27/2006 5:06:43 PM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		I personally believe that any relationship is built on a foundation of trust.

If someone has broken that trust in any shape or form there is no longer a relationship.

I personally would walk away but it is an individual choice and i know people who have decided to stay and attempt to rebuild the foundations of their relationship.

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RE: How do you deal with broken trust? - 4/27/2006 5:13:17 PM   
DesertRat


Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline 		I agree. A relationship in which the trust has been broken is truly broken. Compounded by anger and the resulting distortions of past words and events, I don't see how a couple could realistically expect to recover what they once had. Still, there could perhaps be special exceptions to that, if the two people really want to try and make a go of it. I don't know, but I would hope so.

Bob

< Message edited by DesertRat -- 4/27/2006 5:20:57 PM >

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RE: How do you deal with broken trust? - 4/27/2006 6:38:04 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline 		They get kicked to the curb.

~stef

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RE: How do you deal with broken trust? - 4/27/2006 6:42:58 PM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		You have to deal with four key issues, one flowing into another

  1. Do you want to stay in the relationship?
  2. If you chose to stay, was the break due to a genuine mistake or a personal failing?
  3. Has he acknowledged his mistake?
  4. Has he shown that he keeps his word, has he shown self discipline, do you believe that the mistake will not be repeated?

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RE: How do you deal with broken trust? - 4/27/2006 6:48:20 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		You know how I feel about this stuff.
Good luck.


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RE: How do you deal with broken trust? - 4/27/2006 6:56:40 PM   
wonderingwhy


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/28/2005
Status: offline 		Trust is a fundamental foundation in a D/s relationship.  I know for me things would be very shaky if I decided to stay.

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RE: How do you deal with broken trust? - 4/27/2006 7:12:55 PM   
Alumbrado


Posts: 5560
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sylphgossamer

How does a submsissive/slave deal with a Master who breaks an understood trust they had between them, especially if this trust is a cornerstone of their relationship?

 
The same way one plays a violin with broken strings...


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RE: How do you deal with broken trust? - 4/27/2006 7:16:21 PM   
kittensmailbox


Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline 		If the relationship is worth it you try to work it out...  If not, you ask for release... IMO

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RE: How do you deal with broken trust? - 4/27/2006 7:37:16 PM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline 		The same way you deal with all the other issues in life.
 
The way I see it you have two choices. Either forgive, or don't forgive.

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RE: How do you deal with broken trust? - 4/27/2006 8:19:01 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		To sit down and communicate the when , where, why and how, to find a common meeting of minds on the situation, and then go from there...Tempting

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RE: How do you deal with broken trust? - 4/27/2006 8:45:11 PM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline 		In the words of Dottie West...

Broken Trust makes a jealous heart,
Injured love, slowly falls apart,
Say goodbye, 'cause love can't rise
Above the line, of broken trust.

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RE: How do you deal with broken trust? - 4/27/2006 9:14:40 PM   
MistWalker


Posts: 90
Joined: 4/20/2006
From: Memphis
Status: offline 		all relationships, should anyway, be built on trust.. and in this lifestyle trust is an absolte must i beleave.. if you cant trust... ummm,  and thats not an umm i have nothing else to say, its jsut, what else is there to say.. without trust, theres no way i would let some one swing a potentialy leathl weapon at my turned back. and i dont kid myself  to think that our toys are non leathel.. in the wrong hands, hell in the right hands..  but broken trust, is a damning point to me for any relationship.. its  so hard to regain trust once its lost., and even when its regained if it is... will you realy fully trust that individual again, can you knowing once already they broke it..  for me, trust broken, breaks all bonds... 

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RE: How do you deal with broken trust? - 4/27/2006 9:55:56 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sylphgossamer

How does a submsissive/slave deal with a Master who breaks an understood trust they had between them, especially if this trust is a cornerstone of their relationship?

 
Normally, I would say that damn near anything can be repaired, but like a cracked vase, the line will always show and water can leak through and burst it right open again if you're not really careful.  I don't believe, in the scenario you mentioned, where the trust broken was a cornerstone, that it would ever be repairable. That's more like an entire piece of the vase is missing. I'd chalk that one up to experience and move it along.
 
Celeste

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RE: How do you deal with broken trust? - 4/27/2006 9:56:32 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I have a close family member that went through a period of broken trust after almost a decade of marriage, that was 12 years ago and they got through it and are happy today. It isn't easy but I have heard over and over again that a marriage can recover and become even stronger after a broken trust. I do not know if that translates to D/s relationships, but I think that any relationship can be healed if both decide that it is worth healing... Sometimes the things that are most worth doing are the hardest of all.

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RE: How do you deal with broken trust? - 4/27/2006 10:06:57 PM   
MistWalker


Posts: 90
Joined: 4/20/2006
From: Memphis
Status: offline 		intersting points, the last two posters.. i do supose anyting can be healed, with enough time and work...  i suppose for me its a matter of is it worth the effort, i think i would always rember the break, and worry of it happening again.. but i havent been there, the last time my trust was broken i walked away, nearly broken myself. it was not something i was willing to try and mend.. it would have been a one sided near herculian effort. one i wasnt mentaly up to.. haveing had time pass, i honestly have though of goign back and trying to repare the breaks, atleast to a point of friendship again.. though i wonder if even that is possable... its an intersting toppic this, one i will have to continue to watch..

blessed be..


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RE: How do you deal with broken trust? - 4/27/2006 10:20:17 PM   
impishlilhellcat


Posts: 4379
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline 		I agree with Julia. If the relationship is something you both believe in and are both committed to putting in the time and effort to make things work it's repairable. However it won't be easy and it definitely won't be over night, but as long as you both realize that from the begining I do believe you could work it out.

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RE: How do you deal with broken trust? - 4/27/2006 10:24:41 PM   
smilezz


Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline 		As i have said in many other posts such as this:  Can you both sit down like rational adults and talk this out?  is the communication there?  what can or can't you live with?
It all boils down to choice.

I wish you much peace...

~smilezz~













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RE: How do you deal with broken trust? - 4/28/2006 12:03:10 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: smilezz
Can you both sit down like rational adults and talk this out?  is the communication there?  what can or can't you live with?
It all boils down to choice.

I wish you much peace...
~smilezz~
Ditto!   If you value the person and relationship, talk and see if this is something that can be resolved...  If it cannot, than part ways.   M

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RE: How do you deal with broken trust? - 4/28/2006 1:04:47 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline
To me, once trust is broken, the relationship will never be the same.  It can be "fixed" but not made whole again.

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