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CaringandReal -> RE: cooth, uncooth whose to say? (11/20/2010 11:39:18 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: lally2
part of my boredom with all of this right now is that i dont believe there is a single Dom out there that could predate my ass and thats left me thinking why and is that part of my hubris here.
frankly its the transparency of it all i find so tedious.
Great use of the word "transparency," Lally. Lately, it's come to mean something akin to honesty or honest intentions. But in this situation (seduction), transparency, she eez not zoh hot. :/
I don't think what you are describing is hubris, I see it as simple lack of opportunity. And, as I think I mentioned once before, time will change that. I avoid transparent people, too. I see through them in initial encounters and then go my own way.
I guess I have been blessed (if you can call unrequited lust a blessing--well Ok, I do actually call it that at times--when I am not tearing my hair out by the roots) to have had a good number of unusually charismatic friends in my life. I have no idea what these shining stars see in a shy, retiring dullard like myself. Perhaps an appreciative audience? At very least, zero competition! :o This experience, as frustrating as it's been at times, allows me to say with certainty that there are people out there who aren't nearly so transparent, people who are incomparably subtle compared to what most others are like, people who wear an air of mystery like a cloak, charm everyone they meet, and play (think of a cat toying with a mouse here) with the few they find "fun." People, who, due to the quality of their intellects and personalities can only be described as extraordinary. I'm talking mostly about dominants--because, having a submissive personality, that is who I tend to attract or interact with. But I think such unusual people also come in submissive and non-bdsm forms, as well. You don't need to be their equal to attract such a person. I am living proof of that, lol. Actually, I've know enough of these people that I've sometimes put them in contact with one other, thinking that two great minds would take solace in each other. The result? Once, I saw two of them hit it off. But more often than not, my matchmaking theories were proved wrong.
So how do you meet them? I don't believe there's a strategy, I just think you bump into such types, if you want this badly enough and are willing to wait expectantly for it without getting too impatient. Need does seem to help to create such encounters. Over this years, I've seen this pattern repeat too many times to think it's coincidence. It's also a matter of time. Such people are not common, so you may have to wait. Keep your eyes (and your mind) as open as you can. They often do not come in an expected or even (initially) desired package. The packages can be quite surprising, in fact. Don't expect them to come to you. Petitioners visit Kings and Queens, not the other way around. And--this part is important--keep your longing at a fever-pitch. Don't give in to the happy path of cynicism, however more superficially content it makes you. The idea that nothing ever changes for the better or becomes more interesting is a total crock--although it can become a self-fulfilling prophesy.
Mystery is out there, always, lurking nearby. Perhaps (trying desperately to veer back on topic here) it would be "couth" of you to attract its eye? I think you do a good job of that already, actually, all you need to do is remain steady as you are, not lose faith, but perhaps, increase your need. Over the ages, the wise have said "a man's beliefs become his fate." Make your beliefs big, extraordinary, childlike in their fantastic span, even, and while what you specifically imagine probably won't walk by your door, something really unusual might and in that open frame of mind, you will be ripe to see it, rather than dismiss it with the jaded misunderstanding of, "Oh, I bet he's just a...(fill in the expected commonplace)." And when you encounter such a person, pretend that you are in a fairytale and act archetypically--what can it hurt but your ego, which only gets in the way of what you want? Literally or metaphorically, chase them down, grab a fold of their clothing, fall to your knees, and kiss it, as if it were the blessed robe of Khidr. And then wait and see what happens next. Do not expect a transaction (kissed robe must=attention for me), just wait and see. And if nothing comes of it, don't let that deter you from trying again. I sincerely feel this is the best way to approach things if you want the things you say you want.
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