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RE: Turn on for you? - 11/16/2010 12:21:10 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		FR

Typing has somehow become quite difficult for me at this point.

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RE: Turn on for you? - 11/16/2010 12:24:20 PM   
LadyConstanze


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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

FR

Typing has somehow become quite difficult for me at this point.


Buy a tennis racket ;) It will serve as an excuse

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RE: Turn on for you? - 11/16/2010 1:01:05 PM   
Wheldrake


Posts: 477
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

The majority of males who play frequently and at different intensity levels know that erection most likely isn't going to stay rock hard for the whole of their play time or may not happen at all.  It seems odd to Me that they wouldn't logically conclude that it's the same for the person on the other side of the whip.


Well, except that the top and bottom are experiencing very different things. It's easy to see how severe pain would interfere with the bottom's sexual arousal, but there aren't any equally intense physical sensations to distract the top. With that said, however, I can certainly understand how hurting someone could be pleasurable in a non-sexual way.

I've been on the receiving end of a few serious beatings, and I'm not sure whether my erection lasted through them or not. I kind of suspect it didn't, but I'm really not sure. Let's just say I had other things on my mind!

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RE: Turn on for you? - 11/16/2010 1:05:44 PM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
Typing has somehow become quite difficult for me at this point.


But all you have to do is type "yes" and the game's afoot.  You won't know whether or not you may wake up someday bundled into the boot of a car in chains, on your way to being smuggled into slavery to various femdoms in a foreign country who have taken up a collection to have you kidnapped and brought to us.

You'll think it's all a joke and that we're just kidding.  And you may even be right.  But you won't know.  And therein lies the game. 


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RE: Turn on for you? - 11/16/2010 1:10:53 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
Typing has somehow become quite difficult for me at this point.


But all you have to do is type "yes" and the game's afoot.  You won't know whether or not you may wake up someday bundled into the boot of a car in chains, on your way to being smuggled into slavery to various femdoms in a foreign country who have taken up a collection to have you kidnapped and brought to us.

You'll think it's all a joke and that we're just kidding.  And you may even be right.  But you won't know.  And therein lies the game. 



Is a duck's bum water-tight?

YES!

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RE: Turn on for you? - 11/16/2010 1:18:17 PM   
Wheldrake


Posts: 477
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

But all you have to do is type "yes" and the game's afoot.  You won't know whether or not you may wake up someday bundled into the boot of a car in chains...



I'm glad you're at least being culturally sensitive enough not to have him bundled into the trunk. That might violate a hard limit.

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RE: Turn on for you? - 11/16/2010 1:20:43 PM   
PeonForHer


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Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Wheldrake

I'm glad you're at least being culturally sensitive enough not to have him bundled into the trunk. That might violate a hard limit.



That was astute, Wheldrake - I hadn't noticed that.

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RE: Turn on for you? - 11/16/2010 1:23:10 PM   
LadyNTrainer


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Joined: 5/20/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
Is a duck's bum water-tight?


Technically, no, it's not.  I could go into biological details but I shan't bother as I doubt you actually want to know. 


quote:

YES!


Good.  Sleep well tonight, not knowing where you might awaken.  *evil smile*


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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Turn on for you? - 11/16/2010 1:38:46 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wheldrake
Well, except that the top and bottom are experiencing very different things. It's easy to see how severe pain would interfere with the bottom's sexual arousal, but there aren't any equally intense physical sensations to distract the top. With that said, however, I can certainly understand how hurting someone could be pleasurable in a non-sexual way.

I've been on the receiving end of a few serious beatings, and I'm not sure whether my erection lasted through them or not. I kind of suspect it didn't, but I'm really not sure. Let's just say I had other things on my mind!


What I meant by My comment was that folks who play often may not have the same physical response as someone who plays infrequently, if at all.  Plus, I think it's worth mentioning here that not all play is the short scene variety.  Isn't it the viagra commercial that says if an erection lasts for four hours, you may need medical attention?  Over the course of a scene lasting for hours, an erection will generally wax and wane.


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Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Turn on for you? - 11/16/2010 2:09:05 PM   
Wheldrake


Posts: 477
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wheldrake
Well, except that the top and bottom are experiencing very different things. It's easy to see how severe pain would interfere with the bottom's sexual arousal, but there aren't any equally intense physical sensations to distract the top. With that said, however, I can certainly understand how hurting someone could be pleasurable in a non-sexual way.

I've been on the receiving end of a few serious beatings, and I'm not sure whether my erection lasted through them or not. I kind of suspect it didn't, but I'm really not sure. Let's just say I had other things on my mind!


What I meant by My comment was that folks who play often may not have the same physical response as someone who plays infrequently, if at all.  Plus, I think it's worth mentioning here that not all play is the short scene variety.  Isn't it the viagra commercial that says if an erection lasts for four hours, you may need medical attention?  Over the course of a scene lasting for hours, an erection will generally wax and wane.



Yes, that makes sense. It's also true that I've been in situations that have given me a certain psychological masochistic satisfaction without resulting in an erection - in other words, I can sometimes enjoy suffering at some level without any real sexual response. The link between suffering and sexuality is complicated, at least for me.

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RE: Turn on for you? - 11/16/2010 3:55:22 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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Topping and/or dominating a man that I am attracted to makes me undeniably wet - more than any other form of foreplay. But unlike generic, vanilla foreplay (heavy petting, kissing, etc.), the state of arousal from domination doesn't make me want to engage in intercourse - it makes me want to engage in deeper sadism, more BDSM, solicit more surrender.  If anything, being absolutely wet, even "aching," isn't a totally sexual distraction - it's generally so far off my radar, because I am focused on the rush of BDSM, which is far more intoxicating.

That said, it's a very easy transition for me to go from BDSM lust into sexual lust (ie, engage in sex right after bdsm, for example) but it's not a priority - I generally am very, very excited and happy in that "BDSM space" of arousal and desire and will sit in that for quite some time.   I've never quite understood that connection but it's undeniable. 

Akasha


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RE: Turn on for you? - 11/16/2010 5:54:19 PM   
Politesub53


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quote:

ORIGINAL: hereyesruponyou

Just curious about how others feel. I really enjoy dominating males. I equally at times enjoy doing this in a sexual or non-sexual manner. BUT it really doesn't sexually turn me on. My husband has trouble understanding this, as have several subs I have played with in the past. I know others do have those feelings, I just don't happen to be one of them. I also don't think I should have to lie about how it makes me feel just to make the boys feel better. I don't feel like it makes me better because I don't feel that way, but it also shouldn't make me feel like i am less because of it either.

Anyone else just freaking enjoy it because it's fun?


This was the exact point I was tyring to make when talking about proDommes. For me its the fact I am giving someone enjoyment, its okay if it is sexual but it doesnt have to be. I cant really explain why i feel like this, hell i cant really explain what I mean. But someday, hopefully, someone will get it.

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RE: Turn on for you? - 11/16/2010 9:22:12 PM   
lickenforyou


Posts: 379
Joined: 3/13/2005
Status: offline 		I didn't see your post about ProDommes, but it looks like we feel the same way. It's why I don't use escorts. For me, sex is not just about my enjoyment.




< Message edited by lickenforyou -- 11/16/2010 9:23:51 PM >

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RE: Turn on for you? - 11/16/2010 9:25:01 PM   
lickenforyou


Posts: 379
Joined: 3/13/2005
Status: offline 		This thread has been very educational for me. But, I would have to say that I kind of knew it from my stand point. Serving a Mistress (doing chores, etc) is not always a sexual thing. Sometimes/often it is an emotional rush. I feel it in my chest, and sometimes my throat and my eyes might well with tears.

I probably have a lot less experience with the pain end (no pun intended) of things. But for me it is sexual, at least so far. I have only experienced spankings and whippings where I was allowed to masturbate while receiving them. I don't know how more experienced Mistresses feel about that.

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RE: Turn on for you? - 11/17/2010 7:16:04 AM   
81song


Posts: 293
Joined: 1/22/2005
Status: offline 		Yes fulfillment might be it but in D/s it is such a head thing (large one). But when it is right  and I am see a Domme and just melt and  do not know why.,Other times I don't. As to top it is such a different head space. I have only done this once but did the sub and I enjoyed it. Getting off is what us guys seemed to be always thinking about and as I like to say it is not rocket science here. But having someone control that can be at least for me a turn. on.

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Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Turn on for you? - 11/17/2010 9:47:35 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		(Okay, I have cleared out some closet space for the... guest! )

~~~

There's no denying that playing with someone that I have an emotional bond with is the best. Still, while I am playing? It's all about the power rush, the sounds, the smells, the welts, the... what was I talking about? Got lost for a moment there... Anyway. I can totally jump on my playmate AFTER if we have that kind of thing going on. But I can jump on someone else too, or no one at all. As Akasha said, it's two different things, and they CAN enhance each other, but the turn on doesn't have to be there.

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RE: Turn on for you? - 11/17/2010 10:18:47 AM   
DMFParadox


Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
Is a duck's bum water-tight?


Technically, no, it's not.  I could go into biological details but I shan't bother as I doubt you actually want to know. 


This... was too funny. It was my immediate first thought when I saw his post, and then, there you go, said it for me.

Ahahah, I wonder if you had a flash of the saltwater versus freshwater osmosis question going through your head, too. But seriously. The status of duck's bums is probably too dry of a topic for this thread.


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Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Turn on for you? - 11/17/2010 10:27:11 AM   
DMFParadox


Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline 		The sex vs. topping question... I'm kind of the other way. I can be attracted to a woman sans D/s dynamic; but if I'm scening with a girl and feeling that 'glee' spoken of earlier, it's a major turn on no matter what. Attraction doesn't trigger D/s, but D/s definitely triggers attraction. If I'm with a submissive girl who I'd otherwise not desire, I have to walk away fast, or get turned on regardless of my conscious preferences.

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

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Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Turn on for you? - 11/17/2010 10:28:28 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

The status of duck's bums is probably too dry of a topic for this thread.



Perhaps not.  It might of great interest to the animal welfare people, who would be intrigued to learn how you and LNT discovered that ducks' anuses aren't watertight.  Enemas can be dangerous, and the ducks in question can hardly be said to have consented . . . .

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RE: Turn on for you? - 11/17/2010 1:23:59 PM   
subexploring


Posts: 103
Joined: 12/28/2005
Status: offline 		Personally, I wouldn't be interested in a domme who compartmentalized BDSM away from sexuality in the way people above are describing. Sure, not all service is sexual, but I can only connect with it if it's embedded in an emotional/sexual relationship. Of course, I'm sure there are a ton of malesubs who feel differently than I do. Probably why I'm not really into the "scene".

Also, just because a guy does not have an erection doesn't mean he's not having a sexual experience.

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Profile   Post #: 60
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