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Safe House? - 11/16/2010 10:14:47 AM

Captainsslave

Posts: 3
Joined: 11/12/2010
Status: offline

We would like to pose a question to those who are lost.. to those without a Master or Mistress..

If there was a place to go, a place to learn, to train and feel safe..a safe haven of sorts..a place where you will work and learn to be the best slave/sub you can be...

How many of you would be interested in joining this community?

Post #: 1

RE: Safe House? - 11/16/2010 10:17:46 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Captainsslave

We would like to pose a question to those who are lost.. to those without a Master or Mistress..

If there was a place to go, a place to learn, to train and feel safe..a safe haven of sorts..a place where you will work and learn to be the best slave/sub you can be...

How many of you would be interested in joining this community?

There is a little flaw there, what one dominant might consider perfect training, another will hate, that's why training is usually always done by the person who's actually being served, as we all have our little quirks about what we want, how we want it...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to Captainsslave)

Post #: 2

RE: Safe House? - 11/16/2010 10:19:34 AM

whiteslavebitch

Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline

No thanks, I would prefer to live on my own to recover from the heartbreak. Then eventually to look for another owner.

Subs and slaves are not lost souls that need to be taken care of and trained in the absence of a dominant. Most are fully functioning adults able to exist in the real world.

_____________________________

MasterK's whiteslavebitch

formally collared 1/30/09

"I give to you my everything, you've given me these loving wings." - DMB

(in reply to Captainsslave)

Post #: 3

RE: Safe House? - 11/16/2010 11:35:35 AM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

Unless it was within commuting distance of my job, and didn't require money from me - because i need to make house payments - it wouldn't work for me. When i don't have a dominant, i still work and play and do regular stuff. What i miss is the human to human contact with caring and concern from both parties. I don't think i could get that from a way station.

I think this might be one of those ideas that sound better in a bdsm novel, than working in real life. But it is a cute idea.

(in reply to whiteslavebitch)

Post #: 4

RE: Safe House? - 11/16/2010 11:40:02 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

quote:

ORIGINAL: Captainsslave

We would like to pose a question to those who are lost.. to those without a Master or Mistress..

If there was a place to go, a place to learn, to train and feel safe..a safe haven of sorts..a place where you will work and learn to be the best slave/sub you can be...

How many of you would be interested in joining this community?

There is a little flaw there, what one dominant might consider perfect training, another will hate, that's why training is usually always done by the person who's actually being served, as we all have our little quirks about what we want, how we want it...

This.

And...........as soon as I read the OP I thought "PREDATOR!!!" and not in a good way!

It screams of a person/s using the smoke screen of 'Safe House' to cheat the system and attempt to slide in the back door. "Oh look at me! I am going to pretend to be all good and wonderful, a saviour, a safe place. Then, when I have these pooooor little lost subbies trusting me, I can use them, all in the name of training."

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 5

RE: Safe House? - 11/16/2010 11:51:38 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

I think the problem here is going to be three things.

For starters, what makes YOU safe (in the eyes of someone who doesn't know you)? If Carol and I were to break up, what makes you think that she would see YOU as someplace safe and intimate to draw emotional comfort from. Isn't that what friends are for?

Second, what makes you think that your view on M/s would be even remotely compatible with anyone elses? Just a quick glance at your profile suggests that Carol would find your household highly troubling.

Finally, most functioning adults I know have a life which includes things like a job, friends, a house, commitments of various sorts, etc. They can't just go hairing off across the country when they choose to even if they wanted to. The kind of people (in my age bracket) who CAN do such a thing... well... I'd have a lot of concerns about inviting most of them into my house.

< Message edited by leadership527 -- 11/16/2010 11:52:36 AM >

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Captainsslave)

Post #: 6

RE: Safe House? - 11/16/2010 12:52:08 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

But Jeff, they aren't looking for fully functional adults, I'm betting they're aiming at grabbing the barely legals who just got their heart broken for the first time. And I find it highly suspicious that they erased most of their profile the moment you pointed it out.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 7

RE: Safe House? - 11/16/2010 1:29:48 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

quote:

ORIGINAL: Captainsslave

We would like to pose a question to those who are lost.. to those without a Master or Mistress..

If there was a place to go, a place to learn, to train and feel safe..a safe haven of sorts..a place where you will work and learn to be the best slave/sub you can be...

How many of you would be interested in joining this community?

There is a little flaw there, what one dominant might consider perfect training, another will hate, that's why training is usually always done by the person who's actually being served, as we all have our little quirks about what we want, how we want it...

This and this...

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

Finally, most functioning adults I know have a life which includes things like a job, friends, a house, commitments of various sorts, etc. They can't just go hairing off across the country when they choose to even if they wanted to. The kind of people (in my age bracket) who CAN do such a thing... well... I'd have a lot of concerns about inviting most of them into my house.

Thanks for saving me some typing guys!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 8

RE: Safe House? - 11/16/2010 1:49:43 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

You can go to the local pharmacy and get safes.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 9

RE: Safe House? - 11/16/2010 1:51:39 PM

Captainsslave

Posts: 3
Joined: 11/12/2010
Status: offline

Thank you all for the input... it was just a question we had thought of and something we had considered doing,
and Jeff, we didn't erase anything off our profile..
I understand all of your concerns, your ideas and thoughts.. We know that each Master has his own rules and priorities..We now know that this would not be of use to the community..

Thank you again,
Captainsslave

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 10

RE: Safe House? - 11/16/2010 1:55:34 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Yeah, seriously, in Denver it might have some use that big. Now, are you well known at the munches? in the local community? you have a cop paper? you any good at domestic abuse shit? Can you host a woman with children?

I think that if the tossup is between some womans shelter and an unknown private citizen............

you see where I am at here?

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Captainsslave)

Post #: 11

RE: Safe House? - 11/16/2010 3:04:47 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I have that all already thanks. No I wouldn't be interested. I've never felt unsafe within all this.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 12

RE: Safe House? - 11/19/2010 9:23:48 PM

submittous

Posts: 345
Joined: 6/12/2004
Status: offline

We saw it tried in Denver in the past and it sure seemed abusive to us as outside observers.... Maybe if someone set up a board of directors who didn't physically get involved but had supervision power and other safety systems it could be done but I've never seen it work before.

_____________________________

"If you are lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to find the courage to live it." John Irving

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 13

RE: Safe House? - 11/19/2010 11:17:16 PM

Malkinius

Posts: 1814
Joined: 1/9/2004
Status: offline

Greetings.....

There was a group in Michigan who was doing something like that. They were both a safe house and a rescue group for those who needed out of an abusive BDSM relationship. The person running it was well known in the area and had a good reputation. I don't know if he is still doing it or not. If you don't start out with both being very well known and a good reputation you will rightfully be accused of being a predator. You also open yourself up to lots of legal liabilities and unless you have a very big insurance rider for everything that can happen, it can be financially as well as legally dangerous.

Be well....

Malkinius

_____________________________

A questioner by inclination...An Auctioneer for the fun of it
http://www.HouseMalkinius.com The goal is community.

(in reply to Captainsslave)

Post #: 14

RE: Safe House? - 11/19/2010 11:31:06 PM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Malkinius

Greetings.....

There was a group in Michigan who was doing something like that. They were both a safe house and a rescue group for those who needed out of an abusive BDSM relationship. The person running it was well known in the area and had a good reputation. I don't know if he is still doing it or not. If you don't start out with both being very well known and a good reputation you will rightfully be accused of being a predator. You also open yourself up to lots of legal liabilities and unless you have a very big insurance rider for everything that can happen, it can be financially as well as legally dangerous.

Be well....

Malkinius

Immediate Family, was the group in Michigan, and yes - it is hard to maintain such an organization without viable fundraisers and community support.

The concept of rescue and respite is a very good one, but only if ran ethically, within a network of individuals who are accountable for their actions within the community. There is a HUGE risk of abuse of power.

(in reply to Malkinius)

Post #: 15

RE: Safe House? - 11/19/2010 11:59:46 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

So this is a selfless act to provide structure and a belonging for the lost? How generous of you. That or you are a kingdom-less king looking to take the weak and build a kingdom with them. If they are that weak, it won't be a kingdom you build, but more like a half way house for the lost. If you are asking a question like this, you are in your own fantasy, because I don't think you have a clue as to what you are seeking to do.

Talking about the lost is what you are doing. You aren't talking abuse, like the posters have been talking. You are talking about people who are lonely, and feeling lost and want a quick fix without having to wait for what might be right for them. They will jump at someone building a kingdom, where of course he is master of all and run's all things. That is no fantasy. It is more like a nightmare to anyone with any real understanding of what you are thinking about.

I directed a shelter for women and children. There was a mens division as well, so I had a lot of contact with them too. Many were abused, many had addictions and many were lost. About half of them would have taken you up on your offer when they first walked through the door. Most would not have by the time I was done with them. It was a lot of work, round the clock and I was in charge of it all, what I said went and I had the power. It was no fantasy.

Do you even know the domestic abuse laws in the state of Colorado? Do you know how seriously any type of physical, mental or emotional abuse is taken there? Do you know how little it takes to have charges brought against you there? And you are going to open up a place that trains submissive's? lol You better dig a bit deeper and think this all the way through.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 16

RE: Safe House? - 11/20/2010 2:11:26 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

~fast reply~

Yeah, cos when I'm not in a relationship with a dominant, I just can't function. It's not like I've looked after myself for my whole adult life - worked, bought and managed a home, coped with finances....

Subs and slaves are first and foremost PEOPLE. Not lost little souls who fall apart when they don't have a Master or Mistress.

As others have said, if you're trained to cope with those people who need extra support at the end of a relationship which involves domestic violence, substance abuse, financial ruin and all that other nasty stuff, then go for it.

If you're looking to sweep up the broken-hearted and build your own little Waco, then just nooooo....

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 17

RE: Safe House? - 11/20/2010 4:03:41 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

Count another who's first thought was that those wanting to set such things as this up are the very LAST people I would see as 'safe' for someone vulnerable.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 18

RE: Safe House? - 11/20/2010 4:23:12 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

Who guards the guardians, right? (guessing...none of my schooling included Latin)

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 19

RE: Safe House? - 11/20/2010 4:29:01 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Right!

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 20

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