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RE: Safe House? - 11/20/2010 7:46:04 PM

littlewonder

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If the op is treating this as a halfway house for abused women I would want to know the Op has a medical decree of some sort and a license to run such a place.

If the op is thinking that single subs are lost then I just find that hysterical and he's living in fantasyland.

If the op is just setting this safehouse up as a sort of bed and breakfast vacation /fantasy dungeon retreat for subs then more power to him and I'm sure lots would like to stay there.

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RE: Safe House? - 11/20/2010 8:48:45 PM

hausboy

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I guess I wasn't looking at it that way, although I do see everyone's point. The language "lost" did kinda rub me the wrong way....

but a few years back, I remember they used to have "boot camp for boys"--I think it was out in Texas--where it was a chance for boys (of all genders) to learn everything from service etiquette, boot care, etc.

I've also have a few friends that formed "compounds" and sort of hippie-esque communes for leatherfolks. They really were not for "lost souls"--they were for healthy, happy, like-minded perverts (I use that term affectionately) who wanted to live with other leather folks without the drama that can happen when one lives with vanilla folks. (I certainly lived through that!)

So maybe Captainslave has a big ol' ranch out there in Colorado, needs to pay the mortgage and wants to have a whole bunch of wayward slaves and servants do some work on the ranch, pay the mortage, plus they get lots of free labor and kinky folks. Didn't seem too terrible at first glance to me, but then again, I'm not rushing out there and signing up either....

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RE: Safe House? - 11/20/2010 9:09:41 PM

LadyConstanze

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I'm with houseboy on this, it might not be for everybody but it might not really be with terrible and abusive intentions, I'm not being cynical here but if a female dominant would have phrased it slightly different, I wonder if not a lot of people would have thought it would be a great idea...

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Post #: 43

RE: Safe House? - 11/21/2010 7:44:30 AM

LanceHughes

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And let's remember / notice - as of this writing, OP has all of 3, yes, count 'em THREE posts!

I'm voting for porn / fantasy totally un-related to the R/L of WIITWD.

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Post #: 44

RE: Safe House? - 11/21/2010 7:56:40 AM

catize

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quote:

. Are we -really- so cynical that we would have to assume that anyone offering to provide this kind of assistance to the community MUST be a predator? Really?.

I believe it was the wording, especially the word 'training' that set off the predatory alarm bells.

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Post #: 45

RE: Safe House? - 11/21/2010 8:18:48 AM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

quote:

. Are we -really- so cynical that we would have to assume that anyone offering to provide this kind of assistance to the community MUST be a predator? Really?.

I believe it was the wording, especially the word 'training' that set off the predatory alarm bells.

Not to mention that this Dom/sub became a couple just a week ago.

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Post #: 46

RE: Safe House? - 11/21/2010 9:34:21 AM

leadership527

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW
WOW... there is a lot of negativity and hostility to this idea, and I'm not sure where that is coming from. Are we -really- so cynical that we would have to assume that anyone offering to provide this kind of assistance to the community MUST be a predator? Really?.

For me... kind of. It's not so much that I assume the OP is a predator. It's that I assume there's enough of a chance of that, especially given the way it was all setup, to make me have an awful lot of concerns. I mean, let's face it. Despite the great big kum-bay-ah "community" I hear about, what I also hear about is a community which preys on it's own members and usually feels pretty OK about that. What I also hear about is that the most common method for doing so is with training and "safe houses". Why else would such a totally innocuous and vanilla word have such a bad reputation int he BDSM "community"? More to the point, in a totally different context, would I recommend the vanilla equivalent of this to Carol... hell no! I'd suggest she at least find some place where there are real professionals and some sort of actual oversight. I'd also suggest she find someplace that didn't include a sexual tone.

quote:

As some of you know, and as I've mentioned in other posts, I essentially do this, and have done it for a number of years, in a MUCH less formal way

Doing so in your community and with people who know you is hardly the same thing as presenting some generic plan to the internet at large. I help people also... not just "lost subs", but pretty much anyone who needs help that I think I can help. But these people happen organically. There are no "trust issues" because of the way it all happened to start with. There are no expectations on my part of either obedience or any kind of payback... sexual or otherwise. It's an entirely different setup to what's been presented here.

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Post #: 47

RE: Safe House? - 11/21/2010 9:55:12 AM

Icarys

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quote:

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Post #: 48

RE: Safe House? - 11/21/2010 2:22:23 PM

anniezz338

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Although there is some skepticism with the OP's first post, the general idea does have some merit. I'm not talking about a rescue here.

As a Domless sub, I would enjoy something like that. But more as an introduction and exploration into the environment. It would be intriguing to discuss issues, watch scenes, participation on a scale basis maybe..... And people have parties and weekend retreats all the time. Why not something theme based to help introduce subs to the general environment.

But I would think it would take literally years to get that kind of trust and testimonials built up, because I sure wouldn't be there without some major referrals from trusted people.

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Post #: 49