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RE: Dom Topping Dommes - 4/28/2006 2:08:57 PM

Reasonable

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I must be strange then,for when I look at a Domme,I only see a peer. No matter what else she looks like. It's odd that I'm able to make that disconnect now-I'm more inclined to chatter about toys and philosophy than I am sex.

Go figure.

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RE: Dom Topping Dommes - 4/28/2006 2:15:34 PM

mnottertail

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Well, with two pages of replies and only a couple Dommes weighing in here, but none of them asking, where do you want me to stand? or jumping up and down screaming Do Me! Do Me! I think it is safe to conjecture that fun and fulfilling successful outcomes are relegated to arcane and toturous kink.

Oh well...............I kinda knew that (secretly)

Ron

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RE: Dom Topping Dommes - 4/28/2006 2:16:21 PM

NawTsIut

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Joined: 7/19/2005
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I've been very lucky to have met a Dom male that inspires me to "bend to his will" I'm not a submissive, never will be..but that power exchange sure is incredible..and no I don't think I lose "face"...

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RE: Dom Topping Dommes - 4/28/2006 2:46:48 PM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
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I've been asked by many Dom's if they can dominant me as they see a Domme as the ultimate challenge. My response was "No, I'm not interested"

I've also been approached by the Gorean variety who say they want to make me a "real" woman. I tell them "No, I was born with tits and a pussy, I'm woman enough. Run along and find someone docile to collar."

~Lashra

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RE: Dom Topping Dommes - 4/28/2006 3:11:34 PM

Smythe

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Reasonable

I must be strange then,for when I look at a Domme,I only see a peer. No matter what else she looks like. It's odd that I'm able to make that disconnect now-I'm more inclined to chatter about toys and philosophy than I am sex.

Go figure.

LOL! you aren't strange. just....Reasonable.

I don't really see this as an issue, at least it has not been for me. The only approaches I get from male doms are for friendly conversation, or the whole "I want to explore my submissive side" thing. This latter thing I read as "I just want to get into anyone's pants."

Smythe

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RE: Dom Topping Dommes - 4/28/2006 3:25:07 PM

Reasonable

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Well,I like designing patterns and such.........I used to make some toys and other fetish gear. Guys are so clueless when it comes to esthetics...........

So it's fun to talk to female tops about stuff like that. When I try to talk to most doms' It sort of goes ,"Me caveman, get flogger find girl-screw girl........uuhhhh"

Which can get sort of OLD after a while..........

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RE: Dom Topping Dommes - 4/28/2006 3:28:02 PM

Level

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

Use your life to define yourself, not the plastic badge you put on.

Very well said, Crappy.

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RE: Dom Topping Dommes - 4/28/2006 3:46:35 PM

Ethne

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Joined: 9/13/2005
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I'm going to break out a few labels here, and I know we all hate that, but its the only way I can figure out how to phrase my answer. There is only one that I will bottom to. I have no need to submit to anyone, and that bottoming will last as long as that interaction does. The next time, it may likely be me topping. This particular friendship has a lot of oddities in it, and this is one. He and I are both life-style involved, he is Dominant as I am. When we were doing that early stepping around eachother, we simply decided that if and when our friendship turned to that way, whatever was happening, simply would. Do I submit to him in any other way? No, and I refuse to. He does the same for me. However, our friendship is based on much more than who is more Dominant. I do get the occasional message from Doms wanting to "bring me to heel". I usually reply something to the effect that its hard to bring to heel someone that wears higher heels, or something to that effect. I have had one ask me to critique his Dominant abilities, and that was interesting for awhile til it became apparent that he was looking to manipulate me into submission. All in all, I see the issue as a potential challange and a "notch on the belt" sort of thing. Something to giggle about in the locker room of CM, sort of thing.

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RE: Dom Topping Dommes - 4/28/2006 4:17:37 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: grabyourankles

Just wondering is it common or "normal" for a Dom wanting to Top a Domme? or vise versa. Does this make either lose credibility as to them being Dom/e? I don't post here often so not sure if this has been discussed. Just looking for information.

thank you

From the other side of the flogger, I don't think the fact that I thoroughly enjoy expressing the sadistic side of myself detracts in any way, shape or form from my orientation as a slave. One is M/s, the other is S/m. If a Dominant male wants to top a Dominant female, I don't think that would detract from their orientation either. One can enjoy indulging in masochism and still be a Dominant. For me there is a separation of the two. One is about power, the other about pain. They hold hands very well together, but they don't have to do so. My own definition; if one is actually both submitting and dominating, then one is a switch. Am I a switch? Well, I call myself a switch because it's easier than trying to explain that no, I'm not a Dom but I am a sadist and yes, I am a bottom because I'm also a masochist but my orientation is slave. It's just too confusing and that label won't quite fit on my ass despite it's ample attributes. If someone asks for my M/s orientation I'm a slave.. if someone asks for the my S/m preference, then I'm a switch. Want to be really confused? I'm bisexual to boot, but I don't submit to woman, I only top them but I will bottom to a woman for pain only, never service. I will top or bottom or submit to a man and I'll have sex with a man or a woman unless I'm owned in which case I'll only have sex with my owner which, by my own preference is a man. I can love and have loved both genders, but not at the same time. So, I'm a monogamous bisexual sadistic slave but in a poly switchy depending on who I'm with sorta way. OK, now I'm dizzy. Like I said.. switch is just so much easier. lol

Celeste - who doesn't switch between the same people though.. lol

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RE: Dom Topping Dommes - 4/28/2006 4:21:21 PM

Reasonable

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You know, in a way that would just be ideal for a ffM poly household. When the other girl screws up-he just has the other beat her.

Saves a lot of wear and tear on the shoulder!

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RE: Dom Topping Dommes - 4/28/2006 4:26:18 PM

BitaTruble

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Mfm would work as well. I have no trubles beating the crap outta men. ;)

Mmmmffmmf would really work cuz then I could beat the crap outta lots of people.

Oh yes, my screen name is so appropriate. lol

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Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

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RE: Dom Topping Dommes - 4/28/2006 4:28:05 PM

Reasonable

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greedy

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RE: Dom Topping Dommes - 4/28/2006 6:46:04 PM

Saratov

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FWIW I know a very Dominant female who has discovered that she enjoys bottoming occasionally but bottoms only to me. This doesn't make her any less Domme and we usually deal as equals.

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RE: Dom Topping Dommes - 4/28/2006 7:44:55 PM

MasterFireMaam

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I see two topics here. The first being a question about the viability of a desire. My guess it that by asking if it's ok for a Dom to want to top a Domme, you are in fact asking is it ok to desire to top strong women. Yes, that's ok and certainly can work if done concentually and with proper negotiation. I, myself, enjoy strong partners and have two of them in anne and jason. I wouldn't, however, recommend it if you're going to take the approach of "let me show you how this flogger feels" and 10 sec later you're calling her a cock sucking whore 'cause you get off on humiliation. I'm betting that she won't.

The second topic is one of how we define ourselves. Are we defined by our actions or by our identity? I believe that what we do does not define who we are. I am a Master. Yet, I have been flogged, pierced, branded and tattooed as well as having all my toys used on me when I was teaching my slave jason how to use toys. I let him practice on me. I have been in service, at a large event, all weekend to a contestant couple where I was highly visible. I also took the first 3 stripes of my own singletail, given generously by another Master, while my slave girl anne held me. I am still a Master. I serve. I am served. It is my calling. No manner of perceived submission will change WHO I am.

Fire

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RE: Dom Topping Dommes - 4/28/2006 8:03:00 PM

Smythe

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Reasonable

Well,I like designing patterns and such.........I used to make some toys and other fetish gear. Guys are so clueless when it comes to esthetics...........

So it's fun to talk to female tops about stuff like that. When I try to talk to most doms' It sort of goes ,"Me caveman, get flogger find girl-screw girl........uuhhhh"

Which can get sort of OLD after a while..........

Yeah, just think of how it must feel for the girl

Smythe

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RE: Dom Topping Dommes - 4/28/2006 8:18:44 PM

Reasonable

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I once set up a "fake" femsub profile on another server, to check out the competition. Cute pic,modeled after ads that I found appealing and well written. (without plagarizing them)

Then watched the mail come in.

here were the results.

of 780......

500 or so were from hng's looking for wank material.("fucktards")

150 were from "asshat Doms" (that I viewed as some of the most moronic individuals I had imagined existing.......)

And the rest a small mixed bag of experienced and fairly decent (seeming) dudes.

It ran for exactly 7 days,then I cancelled it-I never replied.

So yes Smythe......... I KNOW how they feel.

Some people's children...........

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RE: Dom Topping Dommes - 4/28/2006 10:42:58 PM

Vendaval

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Joined: 1/15/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Reasonable

Well,I like designing patterns and such.........I used to make some toys and other fetish gear. Guys are so clueless when it comes to esthetics...........

Next time you are feeling that way catch an episode of "Queer Eye for the Straight
Guy". Those fellow work miracles on every show.

So it's fun to talk to female tops about stuff like that. When I try to talk to most doms' It sort of goes ,"Me caveman, get flogger find girl-screw girl........uuhhhh"

Well, at least they are clear on their priorities.

Which can get sort of OLD after a while..........

Selective breeding in action.

YMMV,

-Vendaval-

_____________________________

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So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
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RE: Dom Topping Dommes - 4/29/2006 5:54:55 AM

MHOO314

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Well, with two pages of replies and only a couple Dommes weighing in here, but none of them asking, where do you want me to stand?

Ron

Ron, after the submissive, humbled, foolish Dom turned whimpering mass of boy is tied securely to the tree, My leather gloved hand slowly stroking the length of the whip--I always walk up and whisper in his ear:

"you do know the difference between Dom and Domme don't you?"

" yes Maam one letter"

" uhm no subbie you forgot the " Goddess of the Universe, Supreme Dominatrix to the World... hmm that's---47 letters!"

"ohhhh and where would you like Me to stand?"

have a marvelous day.

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RE: Dom Topping Dommes - 4/29/2006 9:31:43 AM

TexasMaam

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What a fun and fascinating post! Thanks to the OP.

Does anyone here even understand the term sado-masochist? Hello?

I'm asked all the time by Male Dom's to "Domme" them, and yes, it's always 'on the sly' so it doesn't impact their 'Domly' reputation! I'm happy to oblige, too. It's a rush to bring a Dom I've watched expertly session a sub to tears and trembling!

These men are Doms', present themselves as Doms, have subs, and yet secretly long 'just once' to submit. They may also have initially trained with a Domme, and long for the time when they didn't have to carry that burden all of the time.

Sorry, folks, that doesn't 'make them switches'. ...because they won't remain in submissive mode, and because most of the time a Dom can't handle the reality of submission to a Domme, he can only entertain the fantasy for awhile.

It makes them: you guessed it: SADO-MASOCHOSTIC!

So guess what? Quite a few of the Dommes I know have trained as a sub and have an appreciation of what it takes to submit. I trained as a sub to a well known European Domina for years.

I, and a handful of FemDomina colleagues, regularly seek a session with a Dominant male to explore whips, canes, wands, new techniques and sensations.

I DO NOT wander off to any pigmale Dom wannabe for these excursions, either. I'm HIGHLY selective!

I know what I'm doing with My sub and I won't consider submitting to anyone other than a Man who has My complete trust.

Furthermore, finding a Dom who will acknowledge that I'm a Dominatrix who won't cross the line to humiliation and abuse is a tough act!

When I 'submit' to a Dom, it's to experience the pain I know I will mete out. I don't make little soujourns into 'submission' on an emotional or psychological level because I'm not capable of it; I am hard wired Dominatrix, not sub. No, I am NOT a switch.

I think it's important for those of you who so remain so condescendingly adamant that all Dommes must be 'switches' or that any Domme who sessions with a Dom know and understand that the very same Dominant Male that I will submit to for a pain session, yes, the one I trust implicitly with My physical, mental and emotional wellbeing for a session now and again, is the same guy whose Dominant, controlling attitude I would abhor on a personal, intimate level. He gets on My last nerve!

I overlook his pigheaded male dominant self so that I can take advantage of his tremendous skill with a whip, a cane, a wand, or some other nifty wicked implement of destruction. I respect his skill and his finesse.

You want a label? Because it Damn Sure Ain't "Switch".

Let me give you a label for those of us who occasionally session with a Dom: (and by occasionally I mean once or twice a year):

We're TRUE Sado-Masochists, not submissive!

Please read that again:

SADO-MASOCHIST

SADO-MASOCHIST does NOT equal "Switch"!

I am a Sadistic Dominatrix with a hard wired streak of masochism when it comes to pain.

I like pain.

Pain is a good thing.

I like feeling pain, feeling a burn, the harder the better.

I'll pass out from pain before I even squeak!

I like giving pain, too. I'm Sadistic. I love the release and the overwhelming catharsis it offers My submissive; his response to the pain I inflict is a gut, hard core, hard wired energy I need and crave, because I am a Dominatrix by nature.

I really don't give a ratz damn whether anyone tries to label Me or not. I know who and what I am.

I am a Sado-Masochistic Dominatrix.

Get over it.

TexasMaam

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RE: Dom Topping Dommes - 4/29/2006 9:33:14 AM

Reasonable

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Grins,Good for you Texas! Nice to see a woman who won't hamstring herself over validation issues.

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