RapierFugue
Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006 From: London, England Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Moonhead There's a nice story about Grant Morrison shitting himself on a plane from India to Thailand because he'd eaten his stash rather than tossing it and thought he was just farting. he claims to never have been waved through customs so fast in his life... Nice one Spike Milligan once told a fantastic story about a mate who'd returned from the tropics with a nasty case of dysentery, and was thus prone to soiling himself with the liquid lumps. He went to the Hospital for Tropical Diseases in London, got the diagnosis and tablets, and was on his way home, via the train station, when the worst occurred. Thinking fast, he leapt into a gent's outfitters and, pushing to the front of the queue (people didn't say anything due to the smell), threw a couple of spare pairs of trousers at the clerk and demanded they be boxed (so he could bung his soiled ones in there - this was before the days of plastic bags and brown paper vs. the runs doesn't stand a chance). He paid hurriedly, grabbed one of the boxes on the counter, which he took to be his, and legged it, crimson with embarrassment. Safe but smelly on the train, he went to the toilet to change, waiting until the train got going as they don't like you using the bogs in the station, but when he removed his own trousers they were in a hell of a whiff, so he lobbed them straight out of the window, cleaned himself up as best he could, and opened the box ... ... to find it contained a bowler hat. He waited in the toilet, ignoring all knocks on the door, until he reached his stop, then legged it past astonished travellers, with only a bowler hat protecting his meat & 2 veg. But no-one, and I mean no-one, used to get past a British Rail ticket inspection barrier without stopping and showing a ticket. He was grabbed by the Inspector, and ended up showing considerably more. The magistrate gave him a £5 fine*, and told him to never do it again. *this shows you how long ago it was.
< Message edited by RapierFugue -- 11/24/2010 12:47:18 PM >
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