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what are your thoughts? - 11/22/2010 6:46:16 PM   
UmbraDomina


Posts: 491
Joined: 7/22/2008
From: SE Michigan
Status: offline 		Ok, let me preface this with I 101% do not agree with what the man in my conversations said and I found it horrible rude, and told him so............ on with the story...................

A month or so ago, I made mention to a man who I knew who is a submissive, that I find it difficult to interact with many of the submissive men I meet at events and parties, that they tend to not approuch me, while they do tend to approuch many other ladies.

His answer was......... well Alexandra, your too in shape, and too pretty to be a dominant female, most submissive men enjoy the humilation factor of submitting to a overwieght woman, someone who they would not normally be attracted to.

I asked him WTF???? I was livid that he would even say this...... I was offended for all females out in the world at this statement.

But I thought I would ask others for their thoughts on this, especially submissive men, to get their input.




_____________________________

Alexandra ~

~~ And I will show you something different from either your shadow at morning striding behind you Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you; I will show you fear in a handful of dust..... T.S. Elliot ~~
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RE: what are your thoughts? - 11/22/2010 6:48:53 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		There are submissive men at our local events?

(And you already know what I think of the jackwagon you mentioned!)

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RE: what are your thoughts? - 11/22/2010 6:54:33 PM   
UmbraDomina


Posts: 491
Joined: 7/22/2008
From: SE Michigan
Status: offline 		lol yes Hib, we discussed this jackwagon already but I just had to find out what others thought..... I just could not believe the comment. and ummmmm I once heard of a sub guy at one of our local events..... a friend of mine's sister's cousin's best friend's boyfriend's doctor's receptionist's brother told me about it...lol

_____________________________

Alexandra ~

~~ And I will show you something different from either your shadow at morning striding behind you Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you; I will show you fear in a handful of dust..... T.S. Elliot ~~

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RE: what are your thoughts? - 11/22/2010 7:53:59 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Ah, one of THOSE!

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RE: what are your thoughts? - 11/22/2010 9:00:02 PM   
Iholdthestrings


Posts: 172
Joined: 9/23/2010
From: Fort Wayne, IN
Status: offline 		Why would anyone want to be with someone (on any level) who was humiliated by the very thought of being with them? I'm all for humiliation if that's what a person likes, but about the person? Fucking disgusting.

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---------------------------
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RE: what are your thoughts? - 11/22/2010 9:46:29 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		What a toxic man.

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RE: what are your thoughts? - 11/22/2010 10:09:11 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		We've found the opposite, actually - that most guys only want to submit to the statuesque beauty: tall, thin, young, long-haired, big breasted ... They have an image of a cruel whip-wielding bitch and apparently, we look too squishy for that LMAO

We won't deal with either type (we have run into a few such as that guy described, but far more of the others)

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Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

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RE: what are your thoughts? - 11/22/2010 10:42:42 PM   
liks2plzlf


Posts: 390
Joined: 7/21/2005
Status: offline 		I think attitude,and confidence count for alot, but, but yeah I would rather serve Jessica Alba, than Rosie O"Donnell. But I believe there is a big differance in attitude and confidence between those two as well. Some really gorgeous women would intimidate me and I would be afraid to approach, assuming I had no chance.

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RE: what are your thoughts? - 11/22/2010 11:14:40 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		Everyone has their physical preferences - and that's fine. I was just stating that the guy the OP mentioned is apparently delusional, because his view is almost the exact opposite of what Holly and I have found.

_____________________________

Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

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RE: what are your thoughts? - 11/23/2010 1:31:47 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		FR

Well obviously he's talking rubbish in a deeply unpleasant way, but...

There's a noticeable phenomenon at salsa where the really gorgeous women don't get asked to dance, and the plainer ones do. Not a humiliation thing but a comfort one-beautiful women seem to make men uneasy to some extent (I'm sure the Dom contingent LNT loves to argue with will jump in and tell me that's not true, but I'm not going to engage with them if they do). So this guy might well be recognising a phenomenon that does exist but misinterpreting the reasons for it.

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RE: what are your thoughts? - 11/23/2010 1:38:03 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UmbraDomina

Ok, let me preface this with I 101% do not agree with what the man in my conversations said and I found it horrible rude, and told him so............ on with the story...................

A month or so ago, I made mention to a man who I knew who is a submissive, that I find it difficult to interact with many of the submissive men I meet at events and parties, that they tend to not approuch me, while they do tend to approuch many other ladies.

His answer was......... well Alexandra, your too in shape, and too pretty to be a dominant female, most submissive men enjoy the humilation factor of submitting to a overwieght woman, someone who they would not normally be attracted to.

I asked him WTF???? I was livid that he would even say this...... I was offended for all females out in the world at this statement.

But I thought I would ask others for their thoughts on this, especially submissive men, to get their input.


Just curious; the "liquid half of the glass" - that you're too 'in shape' and pretty.... That didn't rate or register?

And come on - you were offended for all females? WTF is that? lol

Assuming his conclusions were incorrect, why do *you* think a pretty and shapely dominant woman wasn't getting approached? 'Cause I'm thinking maybe you need to lighten up a tad....

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

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RE: what are your thoughts? - 11/23/2010 2:02:32 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Just curious; the "liquid half of the glass" - that you're too 'in shape' and pretty.... That didn't rate or register?

IME Focus, compliments from icky men don't feel like compliments-they feel dirty in the *bad* way.

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




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Profile   Post #: 12
RE: what are your thoughts? - 11/23/2010 2:19:11 AM   
vancraft


Posts: 71
Joined: 8/4/2010
Status: offline
why i would approach the "squishier" girl..

iv found the model type to have more self esteem and body issues, my thought is becuase they are prettier they have gotten around valuing themselves based far more on sex appeal than the heavier or ugly or w/e girl, thus the 'ugly one' develops self worth in a different way giving them potentially more depth on average

some really attractive people put themselves out there just so they can reject the ones that dare to approach them

i will approach someone i find equally attractive to me over any bombshell/hag.



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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: what are your thoughts? - 11/23/2010 6:36:20 AM   
81song


Posts: 293
Joined: 1/22/2005
Status: offline 		Sorry to hear that happened to you. My take on the subject would be that as a sub I like hanging with with some of my subbie friends when I see them at a munch I do not ask," Are you a Sub or a Domme?" For me a munch is a social kind of thing meet and greet. But what hits me as a sub looking in what traits I look for, well it differs. Sometimes its the boots, sometimes the feet, sometimes there are Dommes that have these eyes that just make me weak in the knee. I can't really explain it. Yes many Domms are over weight but it does not matter to me. What matters is does she know what she is doing.

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: what are your thoughts? - 11/23/2010 7:57:23 AM   
Highlandsub


Posts: 25
Joined: 8/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UmbraDomina

Ok, let me preface this with I 101% do not agree with what the man in my conversations said and I found it horrible rude, and told him so............ on with the story...................

A month or so ago, I made mention to a man who I knew who is a submissive, that I find it difficult to interact with many of the submissive men I meet at events and parties, that they tend to not approuch me, while they do tend to approuch many other ladies.

His answer was......... well Alexandra, your too in shape, and too pretty to be a dominant female, most submissive men enjoy the humilation factor of submitting to a overwieght woman, someone who they would not normally be attracted to.

I asked him WTF???? I was livid that he would even say this...... I was offended for all females out in the world at this statement.

But I thought I would ask others for their thoughts on this, especially submissive men, to get their input.




Well everyone is entitled to there own opinion but I think he is wayyyyyy off on this one. That may be his preference or his take on the situation but I can say that he does not speak for all submissive men. Personally I find it just the opposite, I am not attracted to overweight women, therefore I would find it difficult to submit to someone like that. Everyone has there preference, but lets face it, for alot of people step one is physical attraction.
I think that alot of men find beauty intimidating. When I am out with friends I hear them say wow she is too pretty to be single, or she is too pretty to want to talk to me. Funny thing is when they say that they are looking at the woman that is there "ideal" woman, but are too intimidated to approach them. It could be that he is just like others, intimidated by a woman's looks. You do kinda have to laugh at the you are too pretty, or too in shape thing though......

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RE: what are your thoughts? - 11/23/2010 8:04:54 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		My thoughts?  I think the guy is a tactless twit.

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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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RE: what are your thoughts? - 11/23/2010 8:35:43 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		I have a feeling that, if anything, submales are likely to find a wider variation of female face and body shapes attractive than vanillas. Me, petite and pretty works; so does Amazonian. Short hair, long hair, muscles or twiggy.

I *really* wish people would stop venturing their 'sage opinion' on what 'most sub males want'.

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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: what are your thoughts? - 11/23/2010 9:47:38 AM   
Steponme73


Posts: 552
Joined: 11/9/2007
Status: offline 		First the guy is a moron in my opinion. He does not know what the majority likes...Hell, he probably does not even know what he likes. It is twits like this that spout off with mindless dribble that make you wonder...

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: what are your thoughts? - 11/23/2010 9:55:37 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

My thoughts?  I think the guy is a tactless twit.


This. And given that he has proven himself a tactless twit, I probably wouldn't bother being upset or offended by anything that he had to say. It would be a non issue.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: what are your thoughts? - 11/23/2010 10:55:58 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious


quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Just curious; the "liquid half of the glass" - that you're too 'in shape' and pretty.... That didn't rate or register?

IME Focus, compliments from icky men don't feel like compliments-they feel dirty in the *bad* way.


My reading of the OP (below) was that she found his *comments* to be "horrible (and) rude", rather than him personally (she said 'it'; not 'him'). Which was the gist of my post - along with the OP trying a bit too hard to get offended....

UmbraDomina:
>> "I 101% do not agree with what the man in my conversations said and I found it horrible rude, and told him so............" <<

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

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