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RE: what are your thoughts? - 11/23/2010 7:52:37 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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I know I was shocked when she told me that fat doms were more humiliating, according to that guy! Certainly enough to put HIM out of the running. Since reality is so opposite to the statement, I kind of wonder if he waS looking for a reaction.

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Post #: 21

RE: what are your thoughts? - 11/23/2010 7:59:07 PM

YSG

Posts: 1001
Joined: 8/6/2010
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hmmm... what if I prefer bigger women as a matter of asthetics?

Personally, Ive always found a woman with curves to be much more feminine and sexy. Just the way Im wired.

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(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 22

RE: what are your thoughts? - 11/23/2010 9:09:08 PM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
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My bet is the 'sub' is actually a do-me bottom or conflicted switch or basement dwelling wanker or a dilettante.
his theory is not MY experience, boo yah! Nothin' to do with humiliation.

Name the most beautiful skinny chick in the world, and she's been cheated on within a few years of marriage: Halle Berry, Jennifer Aniston, Courtney Cox, Sandra Bullock, Nicole Kidman, Elin Woods, and the only woman I would do, Angelina Jolie: ALL of them. Money, beauty and dangerously low BMI don't buy happiness.
Lots of male sluts like Tommy Lee know that fat chicks are better in bed: libidinous, in tune with our appetites, orgasmic, sloshing with oestrogen, and we swallow without whining about calories. Plenty of frigid vanillas: do you want someone who looks good on your arm, or who goes like a locomotive in heat? Make your choice, but don't whine about it. LOTS of cheating men on this site have made the first mistake of marrying cute but frigid or stupid, and now they're paying the price.

And the lovely secret is lovely subbie men are, likely good vanilla men, interested in experience, brains, heart and libido. Like us!

(in reply to YSG)

Post #: 23

RE: what are your thoughts? - 1/8/2011 5:49:36 PM

SlaveSubtoserve

Posts: 282
Joined: 6/21/2006
Status: offline

don't agree with it though he might be describing in fact what he thinks he sees vs. what is actually ocurring.........my Domme ideal is just the same as was my vanilla one= hwp, smart, intense, wicked,......if anything in the scene my aspirations would go north and not south what with my dynamics of worship, being worthy to suffer for, etc.......but he should be ignored imo.

(in reply to Tantriqu)

Post #: 24

RE: what are your thoughts? - 1/8/2011 6:50:58 PM

SexyBossyBBW

Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
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quote:

A month or so ago, I made mention to a man who I knew who is a submissive, that I find it difficult to interact with many of the submissive men I meet at events and parties, that they tend to not approuch me, while they do tend to approuch many other ladies.

His answer was......... well Alexandra, your too in shape, and too pretty to be a dominant female, most submissive men enjoy the humilation factor of submitting to a overwieght woman, someone who they would not normally be attracted to.

quote:

ORIGINAL: UmbraDomina

It sounds like the statement made to shut one up in an awkward conversation," it isn't you, it's me/them."
Secondly, I think he was completely bullchitting you. M

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(in reply to UmbraDomina)

Post #: 25

RE: what are your thoughts? - 1/8/2011 6:52:19 PM

Saint

Posts: 279
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I definitely don't agree with anyone who makes a statement like that as it shows the person to be of low-quality mentality. That being said though, it is that same prevailence of this type of mentality among participants at munches that has caused me to no longer attend them. I have not been to a munch or play party in over a year now because of people with attitudes, shallowness and mentalities like the one the OP mentioned.

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(in reply to SlaveSubtoserve)

Post #: 26

RE: what are your thoughts? - 1/8/2011 7:05:50 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Just curious; the "liquid half of the glass" - that you're too 'in shape' and pretty.... That didn't rate or register?

IME Focus, compliments from icky men don't feel like compliments-they feel dirty in the *bad* way.

My reading of the OP (below) was that she found his *comments* to be "horrible (and) rude", rather than him personally (she said 'it'; not 'him'). Which was the gist of my post - along with the OP trying a bit too hard to get offended....

UmbraDomina:
>> "I 101% do not agree with what the man in my conversations said and I found it horrible rude, and told him so............" <<

Focus.

I can't reply for the OP but personally I would also have felt pretty pissed off, he was trying to pull with a sleazy comment he thought was a compliment, when in truth it only shows how he views women, he possibly thought she should be flattered by his bloody awful remark. He's the equivalent of the guy who tells you that all women are bitches but "you" are different, while his sweaty hand is on your shoulder or leg and his boozy breath in your face.

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There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

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(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 27

RE: what are your thoughts? - 1/8/2011 7:16:44 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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Attitude is more important to me. I'll take Rosie. Now I'm going to have to watch "Exit to Eden" again.

quote:

ORIGINAL: liks2plzlf

I think attitude,and confidence count for alot, but, but yeah I would rather serve Jessica Alba, than Rosie O"Donnell. But I believe there is a big differance in attitude and confidence between those two as well. Some really gorgeous women would intimidate me and I would be afraid to approach, assuming I had no chance.

(in reply to liks2plzlf)

Post #: 28

RE: what are your thoughts? - 1/8/2011 8:10:03 PM

mummyman321

Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

My thoughts? I think the guy is a tactless twit.

I pretty much have to agree with LadyPact on this one. What a moroon.

I actually think its the opposite way around. If any thing most men would prefer to submit to a Domme who is attractive and fit. Take it from a sub who has been in the lifestyle 20+ years, I am not looking for humilation from a person I would not normally attracted to. What I am seeking is a Domme with simlar interests. The visuals, if nice, as just icing on top of the cake :)

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Post #: 29

RE: what are your thoughts? - 1/8/2011 8:20:18 PM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
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Bullshit on both sides.

Oh Umbra..You're just too pretty to love. Woe is you.

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(in reply to mummyman321)

Post #: 30

RE: what are your thoughts? - 1/8/2011 10:47:39 PM

CherryNeko

Posts: 330
Joined: 12/29/2010
From: Mexico City
Status: offline

That was lame. Ignore him!

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Post #: 31

RE: what are your thoughts? - 1/11/2011 6:47:02 PM

LadyJeelys

Posts: 99
Joined: 11/17/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UmbraDomina
His answer was......... well Alexandra, your too in shape, and too pretty to be a dominant female, most submissive men enjoy the humilation factor of submitting to a overwieght woman, someone who they would not normally be attracted to.

I asked him WTF???? I was livid that he would even say this...... I was offended for all females out in the world at this statement.

My opinion is a little different. To me it sounds like he has just been reading a sub-genre of femdom literature---literature based on that very premise.

I don't know this guy, but I do know a lot of socially inept guys, ok male subs, that start their exploration in literature. Literature that tends to be someone's fantasy. There are guys that just plain have this fantasy. .....Soooo, I don't see it as particularly offensive and I'm on the plump side of plump!

(in reply to UmbraDomina)

Post #: 32

RE: what are your thoughts? - 1/11/2011 9:27:40 PM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

I can't reply for the OP but personally I would also have felt pretty pissed off, he was trying to pull with a sleazy comment he thought was a compliment, when in truth it only shows how he views women, he possibly thought she should be flattered by his bloody awful remark. He's the equivalent of the guy who tells you that all women are bitches but "you" are different, while his sweaty hand is on your shoulder or leg and his boozy breath in your face.

As much as I don't normally indulge in dead threads someone has dug up in the archives, I'm having a little trouble connecting your post with what the OP reported this fella as actually saying to her....

Here tis:
"His answer was......... well Alexandra, your too in shape, and too pretty to be a dominant female, most submissive men enjoy the humilation factor of submitting to a overwieght woman, someone who they would not normally be attracted to."

This is really SOOOOO offensive? Can't it just be honesty - or tough love - or plain naivity/immaturity from someone young? Lol, or maybe I just need to get out less....

Focus.

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Post #: 33

RE: what are your thoughts? - 1/12/2011 4:33:54 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
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For a woman that comment is offensive, very offensive, why do you think almost every woman here said so if it wouldn't be offensive to us? I always find it a bit strange if men tell women how they really feel and that they have no right to be offended, in case we feel offended by a comment, we don't need male permission to do so. The guy who said it was an ass and if you don't see that as a sleazy pick-up line and the guy trying to curry favours, then maybe you should get out some...

As for dead thread, it seems pretty alive...

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There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

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(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 34

RE: what are your thoughts? - 1/12/2011 11:42:11 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

For a woman that comment is offensive, very offensive, why do you think almost every woman here said so if it wouldn't be offensive to us? I always find it a bit strange if men tell women how they really feel and that they have no right to be offended, in case we feel offended by a comment, we don't need male permission to do so. The guy who said it was an ass and if you don't see that as a sleazy pick-up line and the guy trying to curry favours, then maybe you should get out some...

As for dead thread, it seems pretty alive...

Then let's see if I can't inject a little more life support into the wouldbe corpse....

I think the comment as quoted lacked true context - it's hearsay from an OP who seemed quite determined to take offense (for all women - for cryin' out loud).

There's a dozen ways a secondhand comment such as that could be interpretted and usually someone says as much - that we need more information blah blah...! So I think the OP isn't the only woman (all dommes?) in this thread being overly precious; tha sisters have closed ranks and minds ta boot.

Embracing victimhood over reason is sooooo 1990's. It's like when someone plays the race card to smoke-screen an inconvenient truth. Your "sleazy pick-up line" came from a man who's on a first name basis with the OP.

Too bad the OP didn't have the good grace to manage the thread she started and give a little more input. I wish her my best and a sincere "there, there" at the next Ask a Mistress group hug....

Focus.

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Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 35

RE: what are your thoughts? - 1/12/2011 12:55:27 PM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
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Constanze - there is no arguing with Focus. He's right because he's right. Always. He's the ultimate authority on women, just ask him ... he'll be glad to inform you (at length, usually). I hid him ages ago for that reason.

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Post #: 36

RE: what are your thoughts? - 1/12/2011 2:37:32 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

Well Focus, why don't you tell us women how we really feel, because apparently we don't know that in your world.

In case you don't like how we feel, we didn't tie you down and force you to listen to our feelings. But maybe we should, then one of us kicks you in the nuts and we tell you how you really feel about that...

With your "understanding" of women, you better stick with sheep (and I do pity them)

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There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to SweetDommes)

Post #: 37

RE: what are your thoughts? - 1/12/2011 2:46:04 PM

Rule

Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UmbraDomina
I find it difficult to interact with many of the submissive men I meet at events and parties, that they tend to not approach me, while they do tend to approach many other ladies.

Well, a truly beautiful female can scare away an insecure male. Are you, relative to other females at said events and parties?

I dunno about what that guy told you. It does seem rude to me.

(in reply to UmbraDomina)

Post #: 38

RE: what are your thoughts? - 1/12/2011 3:05:05 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50
Then let's see if I can't inject a little more life support into the wouldbe corpse....

I think the comment as quoted lacked true context - it's hearsay from an OP who seemed quite determined to take offense (for all women - for cryin' out loud).

There's a dozen ways a secondhand comment such as that could be interpretted and usually someone says as much - that we need more information blah blah...! So I think the OP isn't the only woman (all dommes?) in this thread being overly precious; tha sisters have closed ranks and minds ta boot.

Embracing victimhood over reason is sooooo 1990's. It's like when someone plays the race card to smoke-screen an inconvenient truth. Your "sleazy pick-up line" came from a man who's on a first name basis with the OP.

Too bad the OP didn't have the good grace to manage the thread she started and give a little more input. I wish her my best and a sincere "there, there" at the next Ask a Mistress group hug....

Focus.

Focus, you may or may not get this, but I'll give an attempt at an explanation. One of the dumbest things any male can do is start discussing weight with a female that they don't know. For all they know, the woman that they are speaking with either a) had prior issues with her weight herself or the much more likely b) have friends or family members who aren't in the same kind of physical shape as the woman whom they are speaking. To say something like it's humiliating to be Dominated by someone who is overweight, potentially the OP's friends who might be very dear to her, because they are seen as 'less than' because of a weight issue, is not something that a person can expect to go over well.

I really don't need the context on this one. I honestly don't care what somebody has to say about Me under most circumstances. Insult people I care about, however, and I can promise it's not going to be pretty. I wouldn't make a scene or anything, but that person would absolutely be walking away feeling a much smaller man than when we had started the conversation.

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(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 39

RE: what are your thoughts? - 1/12/2011 8:05:38 PM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

Constanze - there is no arguing with Focus. He's right because he's right. Always. He's the ultimate authority on women, just ask him ... he'll be glad to inform you (at length, usually). I hid him ages ago for that reason.

Well shucks, I'd be hurt if I knew who tha hell you even are. I'll concede your screen name is vaguely familiar, but I can say that of 50 other screen names on the boards.

Main thing is you remember me; so I made a lasting impression.... :)

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to SweetDommes)

Post #: 40

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