RE: what are your thoughts?

RE: what are your thoughts? (Full Version)

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Focus50 -> RE: what are your thoughts? (1/12/2011 8:11:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze Well Focus, why don't you tell us women how we really feel, because apparently we don't know that in your world. In case you don't like how we feel, we didn't tie you down and force you to listen to our feelings. But maybe we should, then one of us kicks you in the nuts and we tell you how you really feel about that... With your "understanding" of women, you better stick with sheep (and I do pity them) So this is what passes for mature discussion! Not one of you questions the validity or context of what the OP reported as taking place. Where's the "two sides to every story" mantra instead of this emotionally charged, gender based indignation crap. Lemme guess, she's "one of us" - nuthin' else to do but crucify the sleazy bastard.... Kudos that your entire reply to my post is about your feelings and wet dreams about what you think you could do to me. Good luck with that.... Focus.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: what are your thoughts? (1/12/2011 8:34:06 PM)
Focus, stop being an ass, okay? If a sub said that she preferred to have bald doms because their lack of hair humiliated her, would you think she was full of it?

Focus50 -> RE: what are your thoughts? (1/12/2011 8:45:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Focus, you may or may not get this, but I'll give an attempt at an explanation. One of the dumbest things any male can do is start discussing weight with a female that they don't know. For all they know, the woman that they are speaking with either a) had prior issues with her weight herself or the much more likely b) have friends or family members who aren't in the same kind of physical shape as the woman whom they are speaking. To say something like it's humiliating to be Dominated by someone who is overweight, potentially the OP's friends who might be very dear to her, because they are seen as 'less than' because of a weight issue, is not something that a person can expect to go over well. Well at least you're conceding there actually could be more than face value to one pissed-off domme's slanted interpretation of what took place. But nothing that could possibly give him any benefit of considerable doubt.... quote: I really don't need the context on this one. Then you don't need facts, either.... <shrugs> quote: I honestly don't care what somebody has to say about Me under most circumstances. Insult people I care about, however, and I can promise it's not going to be pretty. I wouldn't make a scene or anything, but that person would absolutely be walking away feeling a much smaller man than when we had started the conversation. So your default setting is that it must've been meant as an insult (since you don't need the context)? Yanno, that sounds like a neat trick. To publicly make a man feel small without making a scene in doing it.... I'm trying to imagine the cowering submissive within me facing up to some leather clad domme with attitude but I get nuthin' but primal senses of survival of the fittest etc. Focus.

Focus50 -> RE: what are your thoughts? (1/12/2011 9:06:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus Focus, stop being an ass, okay? If a sub said that she preferred to have bald doms because their lack of hair humiliated her, would you think she was full of it? Stop being an ass AND have a good time....? Lol, no! Weeeeell, I have partially receding hair and choose a No2 crewcut over a rug or comb-over - near enough? Seriously, there's a difference between a sub saying it outright and offering it as a possible explanation for me getting the cold shoulder from the local sheep.... And yeah, right or wrong, it says more about her than my own possible shortcomings - esp if I was all hunky and too in shape. So I'm confident I wouldn't make an indignant song n dance over it or (gasp) get insulted for all men (or doms)...! Focus.

LadyPact -> RE: what are your thoughts? (1/12/2011 9:07:31 PM)
No, Focus, I can't say that I do need the context when one person is making callous remarks about any category of people. Can be weight, gender, race, sexual orientation, etc. On this rare occasion, I'll let you in on the little secret of the trick. Here's how it works. Lean in just a bit to where the other person is sitting. Smile provocatively so it brings out the glimmer in your eyes. Shoulders back, bending at the waist. Then, speak softly, with just enough volume to make the other person concentrate on every word that you are saying, which goes something like this: "I'm so very glad to hear your opinion on the matter. It's a very interesting viewpoint. So interesting, in fact, that I'm sure every one of My Dominant sisters in this room would be more than appreciative to know that is exactly how you feel. Don't feel pressured to tell them yourself. I'll be more than happy to let every one of them know your feelings on the subject, and your feelings about them, even if I have to speak to each of them individually to ensure that it's accomplished. Now, if you'll excuse Me, I think I'll get started on My task."

LPslittleclip -> RE: what are your thoughts? (1/12/2011 10:22:49 PM)
yaay Mistress . as a male slave when i was looking i was looking for someone to dominate me. i was at the time looking for a play partner but instad found my Mistress. as far as the person the op mentioned well to each their own and good luck in finding someone

LadyConstanze -> RE: what are your thoughts? (1/13/2011 7:08:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 So this is what passes for mature discussion! Not one of you questions the validity or context of what the OP reported as taking place. Where's the "two sides to every story" mantra instead of this emotionally charged, gender based indignation crap. Lemme guess, she's "one of us" - nuthin' else to do but crucify the sleazy bastard.... Kudos that your entire reply to my post is about your feelings and wet dreams about what you think you could do to me. Good luck with that.... Focus. Actually I wasn't talking about my feelings, again you didn't grasp... Thanks I also don't have wet dreams, I have a partner and a sex life, give it a try maybe then you don't need to focus that much if other people have wet dreams - is that the meaning of your SN? I'm terribly sorry that I overestimated your intelligence so much (gosh, I wasn't aiming that high, obviously I should have set the bar a lot lower) by trying to tell you that a guy does not react the same way as a woman does, and you don't understand how a woman reacts because you're a guy, same as a woman doesn't understand what it feels exactly to be kicked in the nuts.... Now come on, it is not that difficult to understand, take an hour and try... LadyP explained it to you, but again, you don't seem to get it, you want to make OP a villain because that's what would suit you and you are having a bit of a foot stomping moment and a childish tantrum that we don't all agree with you and attack her. Dry your tears, you'll get over it, big strong dom that you are and all that....

allthatjaz -> RE: what are your thoughts? (1/13/2011 7:53:33 AM)
I'm not going to get involved in the row but I think Focus had every right to give his opinion just as every single person who has contributed to this thread. If this guy REALLY did say this then he's an ass and it backfired. Some men try to complement in the strangest of ways and end up opening their mouth before getting their brain in gear. On the other hand NOBODY may of said this to her. This could of been part of her own thoughts after 'NOBODY' paid her any attention and she could of done it in a sort of reverse psychology way. In all the time I have been out and about on the scene I have never heard such nonsense uttered from a sub guys lips but what I have heard from other females is, 'OMG have you seen the state of her over there?' I have seen women big themselves up by putting down what they deem as 'the uglies' and I'm not a 100% sure that this is not what the op was doing. Its like listening to women who just need to mention that they have a small vagina! Part of the ops message was that she is slim and beautiful. Why did she never come back to answer all those people who contributed on her behalf? was she feeling guilty because the initial thread was based on bullshit? Perhaps I'm wrong or perhaps I just read something between the lines that felt a little untrue but there ya have it.

LadyConstanze -> RE: what are your thoughts? (1/13/2011 8:21:15 AM)
Sure he has the right to have his opinion, nobody denied him that, but apparently if you don't share his opinion, you're automatically wrong because of course as a man he will know how women think... Cluster fuck logic... What reason would the OP have to make up that comment? Internet forum, does it matter if somebody here thinks you are beautiful or not? On the other hand, yes, I met guys who said they are looking for an unattractive domme because they like being forced by somebody they don't find sexually desirable, though they were smart enough to ask how they could phrase it as not to offend the woman (and most likely not messing up their chances, women don't tend to react too kindly to "I want to submit to you because I find you ugly and undesirable"), I've also met guys who thought they they can get into the good books of women by putting other women down, i.e. the others are so much plainer/less attractive... Now most women worth knowing don't really like those kinds of compliments and feel offended. Also a triple yes to what LadyP said, I have a friend who due to severe medical problems can't lose weight, it wasn't nice to visit her in hospital when the taunts and insults she got had worn her so much down that she tried to commit suicide. A couple of years ago I had a similar problem, a tumor was removed and along with it an ovary, took about 2 years until my hormones and my weight went back to normal and during that time I gained about 20 lbs, I wasn't even overweight or near obese but I was miserable and yes, it was amazing how different the treatment you get from men who are strangers is.

allthatjaz -> RE: what are your thoughts? (1/13/2011 9:48:35 AM)
Why do some women in chat rooms and forums have to say, 'well I'm very young' or 'I'm only a size 6' when its not a topic related to weight or age? Attention seekers do it all the time. My hunch is that they are probably not very young or a size 6 but that's the skeptic in me. I have a bunch of scene friends round at the moment as we are all going to a new munch tonight and I just read out the ops post (no more) and asked for opinions. They all thought like me, that there was something not quiet right and so at least its reassuring to know that I'm not the only one with a suspicious mind!

LadyConstanze -> RE: what are your thoughts? (1/13/2011 9:55:05 AM)
Well, most guys aren't all that attracted to a size 6 but prefer a bit more to grab on, and I'm quite suspicious of women in chat rooms claiming to be women, especially if they want male attention.... A woman who wants male attention just needs to take herself to a pub... Personally I don't get the big deal with chat rooms, I tend to visit them when I download something and got time to kill, which isn't all that often, so I can't claim your chatroom expertise. So you and Focus are suspicious about what the OP said, the rest of us aren't, doesn't mean that we're all wrong, seems to me that you are projecting a lot of experiences on the OP. Personally I can understand why she would be upset about such a chauvinistic comment, no woman wants to be reduced, you can't understand, well, difference of opinion. Though I find it a bit funny why the OP needs to be attacked for it...

sexyred1 -> RE: what are your thoughts? (1/13/2011 10:04:21 AM)
To the OP: What are my thoughts? My thought is that there seem to be endless ways to have a fat thread and all of them are boring. Asking the same question using different words or approaches all has the same end result; people arguing over preferences in body size. Blah blah blah.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: what are your thoughts? (1/13/2011 1:34:19 PM)
Just for the record, Alexandra didn't come back because like very few people in Michigan, she works 70 hours a week, and if she is on the net, it's moderating her Fet groups.. Also, why in hell would she make that story up? It boggled the hell out of me when she told me over drinks, so she was wondering if our reaction (Damn, that guy is an idiot!) was unusual. Srsly? Men would rather be with a fat chick for the HUMILIATION factor? Never heard the like, and we have heard some amazing stuff emerge from the mouths of men. Honestly, this is just another of the many reasons why CM has stopped being fun.

Focus50 -> RE: what are your thoughts? (1/13/2011 1:36:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact No, Focus, I can't say that I do need the context when one person is making callous remarks about any category of people. Can be weight, gender, race, sexual orientation, etc. Yanno, I keep coming back to the fact that the person the OP spoke of was on a first name basis with her ("Well Alexandria"....). Ok, facts don't mean much in this thread as the OP isn't the only one determined to be an affronted victim. Not referring to you, btw. But context.... At face value, I'll agree it's a dumb comment. But the over-emotional in this thread are making it sound like he was some sort of drunken loud-mouth purely out to make a public arse of himself (and maybe he was - we DON'T KNOW that). We also don't know that it could just as easily have been a light-hearted and/or tongue-in-cheek comment from one friend to another to give her a boost or whatever. 'Cause she sure as hell sounds like she was in a mood over something. Instead, it backfired; it gave her an identifiable target for her anger. Enough so for her to bring it here.... Ok, the OP doesn't post much, hasn't posted in a month, but she has posted several times over about 3 weeks since starting this thread - just not here in her own thread. I think that's an interesting "oversight".... quote: On this rare occasion, I'll let you in on the little secret of the trick. Here's how it works. Lean in just a bit to where the other person is sitting. Smile provocatively so it brings out the glimmer in your eyes. Shoulders back, bending at the waist. Then, speak softly, with just enough volume to make the other person concentrate on every word that you are saying, which goes something like this: "I'm so very glad to hear your opinion on the matter. It's a very interesting viewpoint. So interesting, in fact, that I'm sure every one of My Dominant sisters in this room would be more than appreciative to know that is exactly how you feel. Don't feel pressured to tell them yourself. I'll be more than happy to let every one of them know your feelings on the subject, and your feelings about them, even if I have to speak to each of them individually to ensure that it's accomplished. Now, if you'll excuse Me, I think I'll get started on My task." Nice little piece of erotic fantasy - you should write books.... :) Thing is, if I knew a woman well enough to patiently sit through such veiled threats, then she'd know me well enough to know such a circumstance would never arise in the first place. You've described a contrived heroine/villain roleplay to achieve a specific end - and I don't do roleplay. But many do; and you have a gift. Focus.

Focus50 -> RE: what are your thoughts? (1/13/2011 1:56:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze So you and Focus are suspicious about what the OP said, the rest of us aren't, doesn't mean that we're all wrong, seems to me that you are projecting a lot of experiences on the OP. Personally I can understand why she would be upset about such a chauvinistic comment, no woman wants to be reduced, you can't understand, well, difference of opinion. Though I find it a bit funny why the OP needs to be attacked for it... Is it just this OP or any domme in A a Mistress that is above scrutiny in your eyes? A fellow domme said it - so it's obviously true/factual etc; no need to consider context/circumstance blah blah? And of course there's never two sides to a story, ay...! Ok, we rarely get both sides on a given forum topic, which is why some of us are capable of remaining objective and asking a few (unanswered) questions. At least, that's how my sense of justice works. Just for you, well I'm attacking her. It's personal - I'm a chauvanist, sheep-fucking pig. Better now? Got tissues? Focus.

Rule -> RE: what are your thoughts? (1/13/2011 2:03:44 PM)
I do know that there are two ways to read your text without subjecting myself to the headache green letters: 1. Mark all green text and it turns into a quiet white on blue, 2. Click the quote box and read your posts as quotes.

art4YOU -> RE: what are your thoughts? (1/13/2011 2:13:44 PM)
Ma'am, i am so sorry this happened to You. Speaking only for myself...which is all i can do really...i am not overly concerned with the outer dressing so to speak and try to appreciate the Lady in the relationship. Ma'am, i have been fortunate enough to have had scintillatingly awesome experiences with Dominas who came in all different sizes, shapes, races etc and Ma'am they have ALL been wonderful. Thank You Ma'am and again i am sorry You had the bad experience .

Focus50 -> RE: what are your thoughts? (1/13/2011 2:20:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rule I do know that there are two ways to read your text without subjecting myself to the headache green letters: 1. Mark all green text and it turns into a quiet white on blue, 2. Click the quote box and read your posts as quotes. Option 3 - try not reading it at all? Surely the green is easy to see coming (and thus skipping) as you scroll down the page. Doesn't seem like rocket science.... <shrugs> Focus.

LadyPact -> RE: what are your thoughts? (1/13/2011 2:47:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 Yanno, I keep coming back to the fact that the person the OP spoke of was on a first name basis with her ("Well Alexandria"....). Ok, facts don't mean much in this thread as the OP isn't the only one determined to be an affronted victim. Not referring to you, btw. No offense taken. It actually doesn't surprise Me that this interaction happened on a first name basis. People take different approaches to the scene name/real name option. Personally, I don't go by My first name in the scene. I have various reasons for that which other people might not put as much importance on. Off of the top of My head, there are four women (which is a considerable percentage of the Dominant women who attend regularly) at My local munch group who use no version of their screen name and do use their actual first name. quote: But context.... At face value, I'll agree it's a dumb comment. But the over-emotional in this thread are making it sound like he was some sort of drunken loud-mouth purely out to make a public arse of himself (and maybe he was - we DON'T KNOW that). I think this probably is a face value deal. Some people do make stupid comments at times if they don't think about it. I'm not going to search for underlying meanings or out of context possibilities for something this simple. quote: We also don't know that it could just as easily have been a light-hearted and/or tongue-in-cheek comment from one friend to another to give her a boost or whatever. 'Cause she sure as hell sounds like she was in a mood over something. Instead, it backfired; it gave her an identifiable target for her anger. Enough so for her to bring it here.... I think Hib's quote above yours addresses this nicely. quote: Ok, the OP doesn't post much, hasn't posted in a month, but she has posted several times over about 3 weeks since starting this thread - just not here in her own thread. I think that's an interesting "oversight".... I actually don't have issue with that, either. She was only asking for the opinion of others here. It's not necessarily a debate type of thread. Most of the respondents agreed with her assessment that the statement made was incorrect. There's no need for her to come back and agree with everyone who agreed with her. I'm sure when she finds the time, she'll thank folks for their participation, which is really all that it's worth. quote: Nice little piece of erotic fantasy - you should written books.... :) Thing is, if I knew a woman well enough to patiently sit through such veiled threats, then she'd know me well enough to know such a circumstance would never arise in the first place. You've described a contrived heroine/villain roleplay to achieve a specific end - and I don't do roleplay. But many do; and you have a gift. Focus. Not fantasy. The above is actually something that I've done on different subjects, while I will say it wasn't in response to comments about weight specifically. Though I will take the compliment on the matter, since I do happen to be very good at getting My point across when these types of situations have come up on other subjects in the past.

Rule -> RE: what are your thoughts? (1/13/2011 2:53:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 Option 3 - try not reading it at all? That indeed is an option, but fortunately your posts are well worth reading, so I choose to skip that third option. Incidentally, this fat green is pleasantly legible, in contrast to the headache thin green, so perchance you might consider to in future choose the fat?

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