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daddysprop247 -> RE: Core reasonings for turning to D/s (12/5/2010 8:38:54 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CelticPrince
This is a ponderance for all that consider themseves in the D/s path and extends to all of the sub cultures of B?D and S/m..
Essentially for those that have been on the path for awhile...........what was the core attraction that brought here.....Not CM but the path of D/s? And the same question to our many relatively newcomers.
What causes the question to come forth is the increase of new folks that include some form of sexual activety folded into their nick such as m"analsub4you" etc. That is a made up example and does not refer to anyone in particular. Laughs.........candor is expected here folks as it may help lurkers to participate more in the boards.............and perhaps breing so candid comments from the "D" sides who generally stay silent on the boards.
CP
what brought me to D/s? good fortune. the good fortune to come across someone, very casually, who after hearing me complain about my life for the umpteenth time said these words: "there's something i've been wanting to tell you for a while now. don't take this the wrong way, but i think you're a submissive." that was the first time i had ever heard the term that way "a" submissive. but it instantly rung a bell. one little word explained so many things about my personality, my behavior, and many of the circumstances (unfortunately a great deal of them negative) which had occurred in my life.
from very early childhood, i'd always had a very difficult time saying no to others. it was almost physically painful for me to disappoint anyone. i was always doing the homework of other children, giving away money, etc. i was always extremely quiet and painfully shy. when i became older these qualities only intensified. i found it impossible to take any kind of leadership role, even when i technically had the skills to do so. it was always much more comfortable for me to be far in the background, doing the heavy "grunt work" without recognition. when it came to sex i just didn't say no, no matter what my own personal wishes may have been. so i developed a reputation of being "easy," a slut, etc. once i was singled out as a target, there were even more men approaching me, doing whatever they wished to me, because they knew i would not stop them. i was raped many times. and many more times i just went on autopilot, my mind and spirit leaving the building while whatever went on with my physical self. it led to a lifetime of severe depression and dismally low self-esteem, zero sense of worth.
so this is the sort of thing i would complain about to this casual acquaintance. and i am forever grateful to him just for using that one powerful word: submissive. i was subservient, very compliant, driven to please. it fit. then i did some research online and came across some websites which focused on submissive women and Dominant men. sex/sexual expression was not a focus...if it had been i would have clicked off instantly. no, there were people discussing innate personalities and things like the natural order. it was totally fascinating, and totally awesome. all my life i had assumed the way i was signified some sort of horrible defect. and i was certain that not only would i never find love, but that i would never even find a man who would see me as anything more than a series of holes to fuck. i had only had one boyfriend, and it was a long distance relationship so we saw each other rarely. and even with that, he was with me more out of some sense of duty to "fix" me than anything else.
but now i saw that maybe, just maybe, there was a place for me in this world. i wasn't the only woman out there like this. not only that, there were actually men in the world who wanted women like me. who found something valuable and beautiful in us. it gave me hope, hope not just for a relationship but for LIFE. because frankly before then i didn't care a bit whether i lived or died.
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