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RE: Meeting People from Online - 12/3/2010 10:40:03 PM

vancraft

Posts: 71
Joined: 8/4/2010
Status: offline

I think the "stigma" attached to meeting people online is quickly fading, LoL. In a few years, I think it will be considered "just another way to meet people," and something no one will think twice about.

totally! i was hesitant at first about it, i didnt want to be the guy who needs online to make friends under the stigma it makes you some creepy hermit creature who cant interact with people face to face. if anything its helped as iv been able to better articulate sensitive issues under the protection of being anomalous

It's funny, but when you read recommendations about meeting folks from online, often the advice you get is on the order of, "Meet in a public place, during the day, and be sure to come armed, wired, and covered by sharpshooters." But personally, I'd wager that you know more about the average person after reading their Facebook profile, than you would after chatting them up in a club or at a party for twenty minutes and then asking for their number. And yet people go off alone, at night, with such people all the time. It's a funny world we live in.

being safe is always valid advice but there is a huge difference in the safety precautions online, when i was younger i would reread each email checking for red flags, have the escape route planned out, cyanide capsule in my tooth and so on, then id go to the gay bar talk to random guy for half a minute and go wonder off to back alley to make out with a stranger who could easyly over power me. lol i had such good ideas

(in reply to Atropos19)

Post #: 21

RE: Meeting People from Online - 12/3/2010 10:43:38 PM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

Met my last relationship on CM. Stumbled across his profile, it said he was new to the area and looking to make friends so I sent him an email and invited him over for coffee. He accepted the invite and actually showed up.

I know that it is probably easier for a woman to do that, but I've invited people over for coffee who never showed up and those who just flat out turned me down so you know, you don't take it personal.

I've met people from the internet that were going to the same event. It is very simple to write to them and tell them that you'll be attending the same event, and you'd like to know if it would be ok to introduce yourself personally if you see them there.

Met a few through mutual friends.

(in reply to Atropos19)

Post #: 22

RE: Meeting People from Online - 12/3/2010 10:50:20 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

I dont know how many people I've met over the years from online..

Only one ... ME!

The rest - gravy.

*smoooches da Sunnylicious one*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 23

RE: Meeting People from Online - 12/3/2010 10:58:39 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I've met people from the internet pretty much as long as there's been an internet. Some are my best friends, some I would rather forget. Pretty much like life anywhere.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 24

RE: Meeting People from Online - 12/3/2010 11:02:33 PM

Atropos19

Posts: 56
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

So a couple people have said "some I wish I'd never met" or something to that effect. What sort of bad experiences has everyone had? Anything that justifies the old-fashioned stigma?

I've only ever met one person in a BDSM-type encounter, but I've met probably twenty or thirty regular folks over the years, and the results have always been stultifyingly ordinary, LoL. You'd think I'd have at least one interesting story to tell, but...

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 25

RE: Meeting People from Online - 12/3/2010 11:04:02 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

I've met a lot of people from a variety of online sites. Had some wonderful experiences and some so-so ones....nothing horrendously horrible. In that time I've found 2 people I fell in love with, one of them I am currently with today and I met him on here the first night I signed up.

If I'm viewing someone as a romantic interest I don't wait too long to do a quick meet to make sure that there is true attraction on my part. It's never a sure thing till you meet in person. I tend to get too invested in things by chatting to someone endlessly.

I have found quite a few times that people have misrepresented themselves. I myself try to be completely honest as I don't want others to be disappointed. I've learned by these misrepresentations to ask some questions right away now, but there really isn't anything you can do about someone who deliberately misleads about their physical appearance until you get to see them in person - which is another reason to meet them fairly quickly.

(in reply to Atropos19)

Post #: 26

RE: Meeting People from Online - 12/3/2010 11:28:49 PM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Atropos19

So a couple people have said "some I wish I'd never met" or something to that effect. What sort of bad experiences has everyone had? Anything that justifies the old-fashioned stigma?

I've only ever met one person in a BDSM-type encounter, but I've met probably twenty or thirty regular folks over the years, and the results have always been stultifyingly ordinary, LoL. You'd think I'd have at least one interesting story to tell, but...

Why do you keep asking about the bad stuff? Do you want someone to talk you out of meeting people? Like meeting any group of people - there are jerks, there are great people, and most of them are in between.

You're just meeting PEOPLE. Maybe that's the problem here - to you, you are meeting people in a "BDSM sense". To the rest of us yahoos, we're meeting other folks.

Look, I often get emails that say "I want to meet like minded people" and then I look at their profile and there is nothing like minded about us. I promise a21 year old gun toting Republican soldier stationed here at the military base has next to nothing in common with me (generally speaking). I don't care if his kink lines up with mine or not. Why? Because I'm meeting PEOPLE.

And yes, we are pretty darned ordinary. I do my laundry, I go grocery shopping, I go to work and pay my taxes, and I even walk a friend's dog on occasion. BORING. DEADLY DULL. But with the right persons, I shine within friendships based on other things.

Go.
Meet.
Smile.

sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Atropos19)

Post #: 27

RE: Meeting People from Online - 12/3/2010 11:35:24 PM

jujubeeMB

Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline

Yes, I met my Dom here, and holy hell was it a good experience. Still is. He's the greatest Dom on earth.

Negative experiences, I've had those too. But I'm not going to talk about them, and they all taught me good stuff.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 28

RE: Meeting People from Online - 12/3/2010 11:44:21 PM

vancraft

Posts: 71
Joined: 8/4/2010
Status: offline

What sort of bad experiences has everyone had?

typically i have a pretty good skill in reading people, if someone is giving me bad vibes of the net i tend to stop contact pretty quickly.

the only real bad experience i can think of is when i checked out a gay youth group with a friend when i was younger, which was basicly a couple of 25ish year old guys hoping to exploit and prey upon some 16 year olds looking for friendship and community. we both got the hell out of there right away without incident and had good chat about the raw evil vibes coming off of creepy dude.

(in reply to lizi)

Post #: 29

RE: Meeting People from Online - 12/3/2010 11:47:36 PM

vancraft

Posts: 71
Joined: 8/4/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Why do you keep asking about the bad stuff?

i personally enjoy and respect the mans effort to generate conversation

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 30

RE: Meeting People from Online - 12/3/2010 11:55:19 PM

Atropos19

Posts: 56
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

I admit, I have a morbid curiosity and a taste for salacious stories. :)

(in reply to vancraft)

Post #: 31

RE: Meeting People from Online - 12/3/2010 11:57:46 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

try literotica.com

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Atropos19)

Post #: 32

RE: Meeting People from Online - 12/4/2010 12:00:55 AM

Atropos19

Posts: 56
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

Not THOSE kinds of stories. :-/

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 33

RE: Meeting People from Online - 12/4/2010 12:03:08 AM

jujubeeMB

Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: vancraft
the only real bad experience i can think of is when i checked out a gay youth group with a friend when i was younger, which was basicly a couple of 25ish year old guys hoping to exploit and prey upon some 16 year olds looking for friendship and community.

My best friend in high school wasn't so lucky. He was pressured into sex and dated the guy for six months before finding out he was not, in fact, 17, but rather 25 years old with a history of tricking freshly out gay boys into his bed. My friend was 15 years old, and he hasn't gotten over it - still doesn't trust anyone, ten years later. Glad you were smart enough to get out of that situation fast.

(in reply to vancraft)

Post #: 34

RE: Meeting People from Online - 12/4/2010 12:05:18 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

I met a guy who forgot to tell me he had no teeth.

And I met someone who ummmm... well.. his picture was several years and about 50 pounds old.
and.... mmmm.... well I guess I misrepresented myself once because I met a BUNCH of people from here when I wasn't on my thyroid meds and had basically no control over my emotions and behaviors. I was absolutely not the person I really am.

The only other bad thing - people didn't tell my how lovely they are. I felt like I wasn't fun / interesting / smart / whatever enough when I met them. (true)

best,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Atropos19)

Post #: 35

RE: Meeting People from Online - 12/4/2010 12:05:19 AM

Atropos19

Posts: 56
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

And here I always thought we straight folks had the market cornered on creepers...

(in reply to jujubeeMB)

Post #: 36

RE: Meeting People from Online - 12/4/2010 12:21:26 AM

vancraft

Posts: 71
Joined: 8/4/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

quote:

ORIGINAL: vancraft
the only real bad experience i can think of is when i checked out a gay youth group with a friend when i was younger, which was basicly a couple of 25ish year old guys hoping to exploit and prey upon some 16 year olds looking for friendship and community.

My best friend in high school wasn't so lucky. He was pressured into sex and dated the guy for six months before finding out he was not, in fact, 17, but rather 25 years old with a history of tricking freshly out gay boys into his bed. My friend was 15 years old, and he hasn't gotten over it - still doesn't trust anyone, ten years later. Glad you were smart enough to get out of that situation fast.

this is sadly pretty common, i tend to give advice to younger gay men coming out: Do not trust older gay men
which hearing from older guy they laugh, then i give them a dead eyed look which shuts them up..
but ya i could probly write a book on my complaints on the messed up crap within the gay community

(in reply to jujubeeMB)

Post #: 37

RE: Meeting People from Online - 12/4/2010 12:23:04 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

Sunny.. you absolutely ARE fun/interesting/smart/sexy/lovable!! How can you doubt that when so many of us adore you?

OP: why not "those kinds of stories"? you want salacious.. that is what literotica is about.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Atropos19)

Post #: 38

RE: Meeting People from Online - 12/4/2010 12:25:00 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

Seriously.

Gay men are no different than other men. Some are creeps, some are amazing, most are in the middle. Like anyone coming out about anything (including kink) it behooves them to use their brain.

I would entrust several of my "older gay men" friends with young men coming out. Why? Because they are good, decent, upstanding men. Shame on you for spreading your bigotry.

sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to vancraft)

Post #: 39

RE: Meeting People from Online - 12/4/2010 12:29:07 AM

jujubeeMB

Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: vancraft
but ya i could probly write a book on my complaints on the messed up crap within the gay community

I'm always hesitant to say it's the gay community's fault because I have two moms and I know what comes of straight folks thinking the gay community is doing anything bad. I think it's actually the fault of the difference between men and women - if women were willing to have sex with strangers at 15 years old, you can bet there would be tons of 25, 35 and even 50 year old men statutory raping them. It's just that young boys really want to have sex and aren't so stigmatized by doing it, so when they get the chance to have sex, they're more likely to do it. It's the same thing with the promiscuous tendencies in gay men: if women would put out that much, straight people would be just as promiscuous and lesbians would be too.

But yeah, the gay community is not perfect, and I'm usually angrier with gay people for doing the kind of stuff we're talking about than I would be with straight people, because I expect more from those who have had to deal with any adversity.

(in reply to vancraft)

Post #: 40

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