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RE: Meeting People from Online - 12/7/2010 1:37:30 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338

But in the next breath I am going to suggest not to rush into meets. And don't be overeager. Nothing makes me hit the block button quicker than wanting to meet me after 1 or 2 chats.

Now see, I just don't get the part I bolded at all. I've gotten emails on the other side and met for lunch or coffee the next day. I am of the mind why bother wasting a lot of time typing shit back and forth IF you can meet face to face right away?

I'm with the lovely LaT on this one. I've gotten emails from folks saying - Hey! I do business in Korea, want to meet for coffee? I could use a local to chat up, and can I bring you anything from the States / UK / wherever? (Ok, so usually they don't offer to bring me something, but a girl can hope! I just want decaffeinated tea and coffee, dammit!)

Because generally I wasn't looking for anything more than coffee or dinner and pleasant conversation, it's been pretty good.

best,
sunshine

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RE: Meeting People from Online - 12/7/2010 4:16:03 PM

graceadieu

Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline

My Dominant and I met on "the other side", and we've been in a relationship for the past two years, are living together, and couldn't be happier. :)

I also met a couple before that on Alt.com that I played with steadily for a long time who taught me a lot about D/s and poly and I'm still friends with. I've met a lot of people I didn't connect with too, lack of chemistry or they were a jerk or whatever, and been stood up once. But that's the worst experience I've had, so I can't complain.

And two of my cousins met their current spouses on vanilla dating sites! So I think online dating is a great way to meet people. I'd just recommend talking to them on the phone first, meet in a public place, and watch out for scammers.

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RE: Meeting People from Online - 12/7/2010 4:35:33 PM

switch2please

Posts: 494
Joined: 12/5/2008
Status: offline

To be honest I haven't read the second or third page of replies...but there is a 'Positive Experiences' section of the forums where people post about meeting other users, if you're interested in perusing that.

Personally, I've met a few. I've also been stood up a couple times. Most of the meets have been platonic and enjoyable, though I did meet a couple play partners shortly after creating my profile. I'm also looking forward to dinner on Thursday with a CM member with definite potential...

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Post #: 63

RE: Meeting People from Online - 12/7/2010 4:42:51 PM

Buzzzz

Posts: 839
Joined: 11/28/2010
Status: offline

I never met anybody thru CM.. A lot of my friends are on there but I knew them before, so... it doesn't count...

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Post #: 64

RE: Meeting People from Online - 12/8/2010 10:35:22 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338

But in the next breath I am going to suggest not to rush into meets. And don't be overeager. Nothing makes me hit the block button quicker than wanting to meet me after 1 or 2 chats.

Now see, I just don't get the part I bolded at all. I've gotten emails on the other side and met for lunch or coffee the next day. I am of the mind why bother wasting a lot of time typing shit back and forth IF you can meet face to face right away?

I'm with the lovely LaT on this one. I've gotten emails from folks saying - Hey! I do business in Korea, want to meet for coffee? I could use a local to chat up, and can I bring you anything from the States / UK / wherever? (Ok, so usually they don't offer to bring me something, but a girl can hope! I just want decaffeinated tea and coffee, dammit!)

Because generally I wasn't looking for anything more than coffee or dinner and pleasant conversation, it's been pretty good.

best,
sunshine

If decaff teabags are all you're after, CMail me an addy and I send you some. Not a big deal!

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Post #: 65

RE: Meeting People from Online - 12/8/2010 11:08:25 PM

lilliann

Posts: 1
Joined: 9/15/2010
Status: offline

i met someone just yesterday from this very forum,
we have been chatting awhile both online and the phone and met for a drink and a walk in the cemetary laughs,so some people are exactly who and what they say they are .
so a very positive experience for me.

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Post #: 66

RE: Meeting People from Online - 12/8/2010 11:27:52 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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Well, I haven't met anyone online in the dating sense. But I did meet a bunch of folks I knew from here down at MercnBeth's. Fakes one and all of them! Especially that LadyPact character!!

More seriously, I'd suggest just remembering that meeting online is not the same as "we have a relationship" and proceed accordingly. In general, I have high expectations of people I meet from all walks of life and most of the time they meet those expectations. This may be more of a dom thing (I'm not really sure), but it's my experience that people rise and fall to the level of my expectations. Accordingly, keeping my expectations high works out well for me. It's the power of positive thinking and yes, it's really powerful -- at least for me.

In your story, I'd be wondering why you paid for the manicure with absolutely nothing on the table from this other person. Don't get me wrong... if that tickled your fancy then booyah. I have no issue with "financial slavery" or pro dommes. But if you ended up feeling used, then there's a lesson to be learned in that.

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
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Post #: 67

RE: Meeting People from Online - 12/8/2010 11:41:43 PM

CarpeComa

Posts: 194
Joined: 5/12/2010
Status: offline

I haven't had a bad experience yet. Sure, some were less than thrilling or didn't pan out in the long run, but none of them were bad experiences. As for good experiences, made a couple of friends and a met woman who is likely to become more.

< Message edited by CarpeComa -- 12/8/2010 11:47:33 PM >

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RE: Meeting People from Online - 12/9/2010 6:06:58 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

Well, I haven't met anyone online in the dating sense. But I did meet a bunch of folks I knew from here down at MercnBeth's. Fakes one and all of them! Especially that LadyPact character!!

Yeah, and when are the two of you coming down around this way again? It's been far too long.

quote:

More seriously, I'd suggest just remembering that meeting online is not the same as "we have a relationship" and proceed accordingly. In general, I have high expectations of people I meet from all walks of life and most of the time they meet those expectations. This may be more of a dom thing (I'm not really sure), but it's my experience that people rise and fall to the level of my expectations. Accordingly, keeping my expectations high works out well for me. It's the power of positive thinking and yes, it's really powerful -- at least for me.

I have to agree with the above. At times, I think people choose to skip over the highlighted above in favor of their preference for thinking there is more to it than what there really is. Various contributing factors on that one.

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Post #: 69

RE: Meeting People from Online - 12/9/2010 6:37:24 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

*sends hugs to LadyP, the Clan, Jeff and Carol*

Agreed.

WHAT expectations do you have before meeting? and DO NOT say you dont have any. EVERYONE does. The variations come in the type of expectations. Realistic or no? and porn fantasies do not count as realistic.

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RE: Meeting People from Online - 12/9/2010 6:25:01 PM

ThundersCry

Posts: 892
Status: offline

Back in *the* day....when I met someone it was like...

0 to 60 in a heartbeat...why mess around with all the other crap LOL

Dont be listin` to me though, if your wantin`... to stay alive...

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Post #: 71

RE: Meeting People from Online - 12/9/2010 6:51:09 PM

CarpeComa

Posts: 194
Joined: 5/12/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop
WHAT expectations do you have before meeting? and DO NOT say you dont have any. EVERYONE does. The variations come in the type of expectations. Realistic or no? and porn fantasies do not count as realistic.

I expect that they have represented themselves honestly. This may or may not seem realistic depending on how cynical one is.

I expect them to have decent hygiene and manners.

I expect some awkwardness.

I expect them to think that I have represented myself honestly.

I expect a concerted effort at conversation.

I expect them to be reasonably timely in regards to showing up. (don't be more than 5 minutes late without letting me know)

I expect to be greeted with at least a smile.

Finally, I expect them to fall madly in love with me and henceforth treat me as their lord and savior.

< Message edited by CarpeComa -- 12/9/2010 6:53:33 PM >

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RE: Meeting People from Online - 12/9/2010 7:09:54 PM

LadyRian

Posts: 486
Joined: 9/5/2010
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I've met people from online, mostly positive experiences. Some were from here, and those all were nice folks. Had coffee, went out to get some food, some CM folks attend the local munches, so far so good. The only bad experience was with my ex, and I met him in an online game. But online had nothing to do with the fact that he was the wrong guy for me. I've met plenty of not the right fit dating partners offline too.
Besides, when people aren't online, they're the same people you'll meet offline, so I don't see much difference.

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