RE: Bdsm is wrong

RE: Bdsm is wrong (Full Version)

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steve2011 -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 4:27:33 PM)
Again, i'd have to disagree with you, i'd say i've pushed your buttons and brought up a lot of emotion but really i'd say your the one being abusive here, i've also never told anyone what to do, i've given my opinions and if your not comfortable with them i'm sorry but perhaps we should stop talking. I wish you good luck. quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: steve2011 I find that quite rude, you asked me a question, i gave you the answer, then you jump then my throat when I give it to you, would you behave that way in real life? at home? at work? I expected an angry respone, just as in the pub scenario, if i'd told them they had a problem, i'm sure i'd have been thrown out of the pub head first, yet i'm sure at least one of them will get help at some point in their life, when that decisions made, peoples perspective change. To someone calling me and my friends weak, telling us that we need treatment while refusing to provide any evidence, answer questions about their background and tell us their actual experience with the people like us? Yes, of course I would. You need to look at how you are behaving and talking to us. You need to look the questions you are - at this point - simply refusing to acknowledge over and over and over again. Rudeness begets rudeness. You dare to come and tell us that we are weak, that we need help, that we are wrong, that we have been abused and don't know it and yet you can not be bothered to have research handy, to answer our questions about your background and you find being questioned rude? You truly are an abusive personality. You treat those who question you as though they are the ones who are being unreasonable when you are ignoring - very obviously - entirely reasonable questions.

AquaticSub -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 4:28:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: steve2011 Again, i'd have to disagree with you, i'd say i've pushed your buttons and brought up a lot of emotion but really i'd say your the one being abusive here, i've also never told anyone what to do, i've given my opinions and if your not comfortable with them i'm sorry but perhaps we should stop talking. I wish you good luck. You are failing at this you know that? giggles Sweetie, you haven't pushed my buttons. At this point you amuse me. You're a bigot. You've never met a group of people but you think you know all about them. Face it. You are a bigot.

angelikaJ -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 4:28:32 PM)
Ah, so A) I am nitpicking and B) you are making assumptions without actually getting out and meeting anyone to see if your theory holds any water. You might find a whole bunch of happy well adjusted folks. Again, I was addressing your blanket statement that BDSM was wrong and the examples you gave. The bar example was just the most recent. I could easily do the same with each one. That is the problem with generalisations. And no, it really isn't being nitpicky if you were to go back and read the rest of the post and see the context of the whole and not just scan without comprehension. My point wasn't really about the bar and if you couldn't see that then that is exactly why the rest of your data analysis is wrong.

steve2011 -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 4:31:53 PM)
Again, i'd have to disagree, in fact your behaviour is very bigotted but it's why I expected, it was the main reason I came on here, to see if you behave in the same way as other addicts and unfortunately you do. You've just totally dismissed years of training/education/experience with clients just because you don't like what I said. I'd go back and read your posts when you've calmed down and you may see a different picture, although sadly I fear you won't quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: steve2011 Again, i'd have to disagree with you, i'd say i've pushed your buttons and brought up a lot of emotion but really i'd say your the one being abusive here, i've also never told anyone what to do, i've given my opinions and if your not comfortable with them i'm sorry but perhaps we should stop talking. I wish you good luck. You are failing at this you know that? giggles Sweetie, you haven't pushed my buttons. At this point you amuse me. You're a bigot. You've never met a group of people but you think you know all about them. Face it. You are a bigot.

steve2011 -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 4:33:16 PM)
I thought you'd be able to relate tio the bar scenario. WOuld it be easier if I said I approached a gang of youths injecting heroin and told them it was wrong? I know for sure i'd get an abusive/hostile reaction there in the same way that I have here. quote: ORIGINAL: angelikaJ Ah, so A) I am nitpicking and B) you are making assumptions without actually getting out and meeting anyone to see if your theory holds any water. You might find a whole bunch of happy well adjusted folks. Again, I was addressing your blanket statement that BDSM was wrong and the examples you gave. The bar example was just the most recent. I could easily do the same with each one. That is the problem with generalisations. And no, it really isn't being nitpicky if you were to go back and read the rest of the post and see the context of the whole and not just scan without comprehension. My point wasn't really about the bar and if you couldn't see that then that is exactly why the rest of your data analysis is wrong.

AquaticSub -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 4:34:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: steve2011 Again, i'd have to disagree, in fact your behaviour is very bigotted but it's why I expected, it was the main reason I came on here, to see if you behave in the same way as other addicts and unfortunately you do. You've just totally dismissed years of training/education/experience with clients just because you don't like what I said. I'd go back and read your posts when you've calmed down and you may see a different picture, although sadly I fear you won't Oh yes.. it's so bigoted of me to ask for research, studies and your background. You never provided your training/education/experience, did you? You were asked, over and over but you ignored the requests. Oh dear... not giving credit to a theory that is unsupported and unresearched. Truly, that makes me a bigot! laughs Sweetie, if you believe for a second that demanding research makes me a bigot, you don't have a clue what the word means.

Rule -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 4:37:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: steve2011 Would it be easier if I said I approached a gang of youths injecting heroin and told them it was wrong? I know for sure i'd get an abusive/hostile reaction there in the same way that I have here. Can it be that you accidentally omitted the bed-side manner part during your many years of training as a therapist?

AquaticSub -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 4:37:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: steve2011 I thought you'd be able to relate tio the bar scenario. WOuld it be easier if I said I approached a gang of youths injecting heroin and told them it was wrong? I know for sure i'd get an abusive/hostile reaction there in the same way that I have here. Tsk tsk, at this point we know you are simply a troll dear. You think bigot means insisting on research and that it's academically accepted to make judgments without case studies. If you want to see abusive and poor logic, look in a mirror. You are fun though. Are you going to stay long?

AquaticSub -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 4:39:24 PM)
~FR~ Ok, I know that almost no one who was around when this happened is still here but damn it I have to say it anyway... CADBURY EGGS!!! end random insertion and apologizes to the mods

steve2011 -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 4:39:31 PM)
I have a degree in psychology, i'm pretty sure I mentioned that, currently studying for a phd and numerous hours of experience with clients, although I find the best therapists strangely enough are the ones with little education and the ability to connect to their emotions. I do genuinelt believe you are living a false sense http://sfhelp.org/gwc/false_self.htm I'm sure you'll do your best to rubbish that, but every therpaist in the wolrd would know what that means are saying there all talking nonsense just because it goes againt how you live your life? quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: steve2011 Again, i'd have to disagree, in fact your behaviour is very bigotted but it's why I expected, it was the main reason I came on here, to see if you behave in the same way as other addicts and unfortunately you do. You've just totally dismissed years of training/education/experience with clients just because you don't like what I said. I'd go back and read your posts when you've calmed down and you may see a different picture, although sadly I fear you won't Oh yes.. it's so bigoted of me to ask for research, studies and your background. You never provided your training/education/experience, did you? You were asked, over and over but you ignored the requests. Oh dear... not giving credit to a theory that is unsupported and unresearched. Truly, that makes me a bigot! laughs Sweetie, if you believe for a second that demanding research makes me a bigot, you don't have a clue what the word means.

VideoAdminTheta -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 4:39:55 PM)
It's not nice to give an admin a headache. Let's keep in mind, Terms of Service, or I will be taking something for the headache and shutting this debate down. Thank you [:)]

steve2011 -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 4:41:07 PM)
You've brought upi reseach and statistics a lot more than me, not sure what your point is there to be honest with you. Like i've you obviously don't wish to change but many people do, perhaps you should respect that? quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: steve2011 I thought you'd be able to relate tio the bar scenario. WOuld it be easier if I said I approached a gang of youths injecting heroin and told them it was wrong? I know for sure i'd get an abusive/hostile reaction there in the same way that I have here. Tsk tsk, at this point we know you are simply a troll dear. You think bigot means insisting on research and that it's academically accepted to make judgments without case studies. If you want to see abusive and poor logic, look in a mirror. You are fun though. Are you going to stay long?

steve2011 -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 4:42:44 PM)
Anyway guys, it's getting late here, I have a busy day tomorrow, i'll try to get on towards the end of the week. I wish everyone well, whichever path they choose. All the best

AquaticSub -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 4:43:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: steve2011 I have a degree in psychology, i'm pretty sure I mentioned that, currently studying for a phd and numerous hours of experience with clients, although I find the best therapists strangely enough are the ones with little education and the ability to connect to their emotions. I do genuinelt believe you are living a false sense http://sfhelp.org/gwc/false_self.htm I'm sure you'll do your best to rubbish that, but every therpaist in the wolrd would know what that means are saying there all talking nonsense just because it goes againt how you live your life? From where? You see, these are serious accusations you are making so you need to be prepared to fully back yourself up. And I have a very hard time believing you when you think it's ok to proclaim judgments about a group of people with no case studies. By the way, you've nicely ignored the fact that I have been to several therapists and none of them have compared my BDSM to being an alcoholic, felt it was wrong, or mentioned in any way that it was an issue. They have, in fact, been completely supportive of my decision to move forward and continue with it. In fact, you are completely ignoring the fact that there are kinky and kink-therapists. So no, not every therapist in the world. That you talk so broadly further undermines both you and what validity your point has. I suggest you hit the books, you obviously need to research this more.

AquaticSub -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 4:44:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: steve2011 You've brought upi reseach and statistics a lot more than me, not sure what your point is there to be honest with you. Like i've you obviously don't wish to change but many people do, perhaps you should respect that? You put words in my mouth - very bad form and also the sign of an abuser. I have not disrespected anyone who wanted to change. I keep asking you to provide the research for your claims. The fact that I have brought it up more than you is very disturbing. You should be providing it. If you are a student at all, you should know this. Citing sources, case studies and well-documented facts are the foundations of any such assertion.

steve2011 -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 4:47:12 PM)
Like i've said 4 times now, no therpist will ever tell you to do anything, you can only change anything if you want to change yourself, your obviously not at that stage. quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: steve2011 I have a degree in psychology, i'm pretty sure I mentioned that, currently studying for a phd and numerous hours of experience with clients, although I find the best therapists strangely enough are the ones with little education and the ability to connect to their emotions. I do genuinelt believe you are living a false sense http://sfhelp.org/gwc/false_self.htm I'm sure you'll do your best to rubbish that, but every therpaist in the wolrd would know what that means are saying there all talking nonsense just because it goes againt how you live your life? From where? You see, these are serious accusations you are making so you need to be prepared to fully back yourself up. And I have a very hard time believing you when you think it's ok to proclaim judgments about a group of people with no case studies. By the way, you've nicely ignored the fact that I have been to several therapists and none of them have compared my BDSM to being an alcoholic, felt it was wrong, or mentioned in any way that it was an issue. In fact, you are completely ignoring the fact that there are kinky and kink-therapists. So no, not every therapist in the world. That you talk so broadly further undermines both you and what validity your point has. I suggest you hit the books, you obviously need to research this more.

Rule -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 4:49:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: steve2011 I have a degree in psychology Unfortunately that does not make you an expert neither in kink nor in dominance/submission/slaves. quote: ORIGINAL: steve2011 and numerous hours of experience with clients [:-] Is 'numerous' less than ten hours, or is it more than ten thousand hours? Did you talk at all during those ten thousand hours? quote: ORIGINAL: steve2011 although I find the best therapists strangely enough are the ones with little education and the ability to connect to their emotions. I recommend, if that is your genuine finding, to in that case to stop your education immediately and to forget everything that you have learned thus far. You will be a better therapist for it.

AquaticSub -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 4:50:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: steve2011 Like i've said 4 times now, no therpist will ever tell you to do anything, you can only change anything if you want to change yourself, your obviously not at that stage. And you obviously aren't listening. A therapist will tell you when they think something is unhealthy. They have been supportive. IE. "Aqua there is nothing wrong with BDSM or power dynamics - if it fulfills you go for it!". And you, again, ignored part of it: That kinky and kink-friendly therapists exist so your statement about "any therapist in the world" is blatantly incorrect. Something that you could find out in five seconds on Google. I'm seriously finding it hard to believe that you have any training - didn't they teach you how to research something before you make an assertion?

MsRavensong -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 4:52:01 PM)
I read this whole thread...pretty sure this guy is my ex boyfriend.............trying to reason with someone who knows it all and backs up nothing. Takes no responsibility when being an ass.............never hears a word YOU say... WHEW! It's really all exhausting. Why even waste time arguing with a moron like this? Oh and by the way, he does NOT have a degree in Phsycology....but he always wanted one.

catize -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 4:54:28 PM)
quote: You've brought upi reseach and statistics a lot more than me, not sure what your point is there to be honest with you. Her point is that you continue to make statements that are opinion and have no basis in fact. If you want to be taken seriously, show us the studies that prove your assertions. Now, did I really have to explain that to you?

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