RE: Bdsm is wrong (Full Version)

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AquaticSub -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 4:54:36 PM)

I'm waiting on a phone call and I'm amused. I want to see if this is a resident troll and if they screw up and devolve into some of the trademarks of various people who have trolled here over the years. It's a bit like watching a mystery show. [:)]



steve2011 -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 4:54:50 PM)

Take a look at almost every single reply here, all very defensive, which is what I was told would happen.

Whether you like it or not, you are no different to any other addict who's behaviour is pointed out to them.

If you are open minded enough, have a read about defensive behaviour when it comes to addictions, it's actually very interesting.

Here's a snippet to get you started.

Toodle pip.

People get defensive for a number of reasons. It could be that they are uncomfortable with the topic, their ego may be bruised, or they could just be used to abusive people taking advantage of them etc. Mostly though for what ever reason is at the base of it, they feel that they are under attack. For instance often individuals will get defensive even with criticism that is helpful, just because their ego is so fragile they can't except it, so they see it as an attack on the ego and then become defensive.



AquaticSub -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 4:55:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

quote:

You've brought upi reseach and statistics a lot more than me, not sure what your point is there to be honest with you.


Her point is that you continue to make statements that are opinion and have no basis in fact. If you want to be taken seriously, show us the studies that prove your assertions.
Now, did I really have to explain that to you?


Hey, maybe he'll listen to sunflowers more than scary green-skinned woman. [:)]



steve2011 -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 4:55:57 PM)

He sounds like a good man for pointing out your unhealthy behaviour.
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsRavensong

I read this whole thread...pretty sure this guy is my ex boyfriend.............trying to reason with someone who knows it all and backs up nothing. Takes no responsibility when being an ass.............never hears a word YOU say...

WHEW! It's really all exhausting. Why even waste time arguing with a moron like this?

Oh and by the way, he does NOT have a degree in Phsycology....but he always wanted one.




angelikaJ -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 4:56:45 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: steve2011

I thought you'd be able to relate tio the bar scenario.

WOuld it be easier if I said I approached a gang of youths injecting heroin and told them it was wrong?

I know for sure i'd get an abusive/hostile reaction there in the same way that I have here.
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

Ah, so A) I am nitpicking and B) you are making assumptions without actually getting out and meeting anyone to see if your theory holds any water.

You might find a whole bunch of happy well adjusted folks.

Again, I was addressing your blanket statement that BDSM was wrong and the examples you gave.

The bar example was just the most recent. I could easily do the same with each one.
That is the problem with generalisations.

And no, it really isn't being nitpicky if you were to go back and read the rest of the post and see the context of the whole and not just scan without comprehension.

My point wasn't really about the bar and if you couldn't see that then that is exactly why the rest of your data analysis is wrong.




I am not being hostile.
I am just trying to convey flaws in your logic and analysis.

You have an opinion that BDSM is Wrong.
You have an opinion that it has roots in abuse and perpetuates abuse in adults.
Now, granted, people would still disagree with you had you said that, but I would not be arguing against your logic.

I would accept your opinion as a valid opinion for you.
If you were to try to apply it as being try for everyone then I would be reminding you that it is an opinion and not fact.

I find spanking to be hot.
I know that the roots of it are not because I was spanked as a child.
I know that it may be because I came across scholarly books my dad left behind that made mention of Victorian discipline. They were analytical in nature. I was perhaps 10.
I have no desire to "be cured".

(My analytical nature now, however has more to do with my reading all of Sherlock Holmes when I was 12-13.)

There is ZERO abuse in my relationship with the man who is my Master.
Not physical, nor emotional.

There is consentual impact play that brings me to very yummy places.
Neurotransmitters are involved, as is turning down my left brain chatter.

My relationship is more than just that though.

You are making assumptions about people that (according to you) have little or no first hand knowledge of.
The moment you made a blanket statement and then tried to justify it without looking into the opposing viewpoint your case as it were lost ground.

So, what might happen if you were wrong?




AquaticSub -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 4:57:37 PM)

Steve, Steve, Steve...

Asking people to provide research and studies isn't getting defensive. If you think that is getting defensive, I really don't believe you have any formal training.

It's the Internet. There are people on the 'Net who still think the world is flat and the Holocaust never happened. Demanding research is considered SOP in the scientific and academic community. Demanding it on the Internet and not believing every fool who makes a SN is just common sense.



catize -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 4:57:57 PM)

quote:

Hey, maybe he'll listen to sunflowers more than scary green-skinned woman.


Somehow I doubt it! But as he himself said, he needs to want to change!



Rule -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 5:00:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsRavensong
I read this whole thread

I am impressed. (I skipped sixteen pages.)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsRavensong
pretty sure this guy is my ex boyfriend

Why even waste time arguing with a moron like this?

Oh and by the way, he does NOT have a degree in Phsycology....but he always wanted one.

Oh, that explains it: he is your ex boyfriend and he does not have a 'degree in Phsycology'.

He must have some positive characteristics, though, for why else would females deign to have him for a boyfriend?



steve2011 -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 5:01:35 PM)

I've not made any assumptions, i've merely replied with opinion, if it isn't valued why are people still replying to my thread?

If you don't wish to change good luck to you, i've said that all along, I don't beleive it's healthy, I beleive it's a false self, me saying that may anger certain people on here but it's certainly not abusive.
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ


quote:

ORIGINAL: steve2011

I thought you'd be able to relate tio the bar scenario.

WOuld it be easier if I said I approached a gang of youths injecting heroin and told them it was wrong?

I know for sure i'd get an abusive/hostile reaction there in the same way that I have here.
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

Ah, so A) I am nitpicking and B) you are making assumptions without actually getting out and meeting anyone to see if your theory holds any water.

You might find a whole bunch of happy well adjusted folks.

Again, I was addressing your blanket statement that BDSM was wrong and the examples you gave.

The bar example was just the most recent. I could easily do the same with each one.
That is the problem with generalisations.

And no, it really isn't being nitpicky if you were to go back and read the rest of the post and see the context of the whole and not just scan without comprehension.

My point wasn't really about the bar and if you couldn't see that then that is exactly why the rest of your data analysis is wrong.




I am not being hostile.
I am just trying to convey flaws in your logic and analysis.

You have an opinion that BDSM is Wrong.
You have an opinion that it has roots in abuse and perpetuates abuse in adults.
Now, granted, people would still disagree with you had you said that, but I would not be arguing against your logic.

I would accept your opinion as a valid opinion for you.
If you were to try to apply it as being try for everyone then I would be reminding you that it is an opinion and not fact.

I find spanking to be hot.
I know that the roots of it are not because I was spanked as a child.
I know that it may be because I came across scholarly books my dad left behind that made mention of Victorian discipline. They were analytical in nature. I was perhaps 10.
I have no desire to "be cured".

(My analytical nature now, however has more to do with my reading all of Sherlock Holmes when I was 12-13.)

There is ZERO abuse in my relationship with the man who is my Master.
Not physical, nor emotional.

There is consentual impact play that brings me to very yummy places.
Neurotransmitters are involved, as is turning down my left brain chatter.

My relationship is more than just that though.

You are making assumptions about people that (according to you) have little or no first hand knowledge of.
The moment you made a blanket statement and then tried to justify it without looking into the opposing viewpoint your case as it were lost ground.

So, what might happen if you were wrong?






AquaticSub -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 5:03:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: steve2011

I've not made any assumptions, i've merely replied with opinion, if it isn't valued why are people still replying to my thread?

If you don't wish to change good luck to you, i've said that all along, I don't beleive it's healthy, I beleive it's a false self, me saying that may anger certain people on here but it's certainly not abusive.



Because you are amusing as hell at this point.

"Rawr, I has no studies, I has no research, I has no experience with this peoples but I wants none cause I don't needz to actually study things! Rawr!"

Seriously, that's why. It's like watching a guy pitch a fit over the "towel heads" when he hasn't met a Muslim and doesn't know anything about them. Except more entertaining.



Rule -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 5:05:46 PM)

What is an 'SN'?



AquaticSub -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 5:06:20 PM)

Screen Name. [:)]



Rule -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 5:07:10 PM)

Pray do edit out the non-relevant parts of the posts that you do quote.



Rule -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 5:10:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: steve2011
If you are open minded enough, have a read about defensive behaviour when it comes to addictions, it's actually very interesting.

Here's a snippet to get you started.

I have read that snippet, but there is nothing in it about addictions.

However, in my opinion that snippet was far below academic level.

Edited to add: I googled the snippet. It is present on a handful of popular, non-academic websites such as http://www.blurtit.com/q794275.html. [:D]



stef -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 5:12:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: steve2011

Take a look at almost every single reply here, all very defensive, which is what I was told would happen.

Boring troll is boring.

~stef



catize -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 5:17:23 PM)

quote:

I've not made any assumptions,

You haven't???? The title alone is an assumption!

quote:

i've merely replied with opinion,

And now what you have asserted as hard facts becomes 'merely opinion'?

quote:

if it isn't valued why are people still replying to my thread

Because we hate being told that assumptions and opinions are facts! And because, at least I, for one, was waiting for the back pedaling to begin!



Phoenixpower -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 5:18:20 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: steve2011

I'd suggest people learn about emotional abuse, it's equally as damaging as physical and sexual abuse but seems to be accepted not just by the bdsm community but by many people, a quick google search will give yuo lots of information, heres one I found.





[sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif]

and what makes you believe that we would "need" to learn about emotional abuse???

What makes you believe that we would need your holy advice to learn about the subject you suggest???

Guess what, I worked with kids who displayed challenging behaviour due to different forms of abuse, and I would suggest you better read up on resilience as quite frankly your bullshit about people wouldn't be here without such experiences or however you named it (am not bored enough to look back about that one) couldn't be further away from the truth and if I would consider myself to be weak I would certainly not waste my time with a Dom as I would not be able to serve him in a happy way.

Wow,what a bitter troll, to come up with such shit [8|]



hausboy -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 5:19:32 PM)

For the love of all things good...

PLEASE! Stop feeding the troll. This thread is pointless. (I don't know why I even bothered to look it.   masochism.)



LadyPact -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 5:20:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: steve2011

I'd say your nitpicking there, of course there will be exceptions in the pub scenario, however, i was using that as an example which people would be able to relate to. I used to work in a pub and it would be the same faces each morning. Im confident most did have a drink problem but they we're nice people and meant me no harm so I got on with my job like everyone else would.

I'm guessing you don't see the irony in this, do you?  Did you carry AA pamphlets to work with you?  How about the number to the AA hotline?  I'm betting you didn't.

You say that your purpose here was to tell folks that they could get help if they felt it was necessary.  You did that.  Arguing about the fact that you think they need help isn't benefiting anyone.  Except maybe the thrill that you're getting out of it, there's really nothing more that you can say.

You stated yourself that an alcoholic will not get help unless they want it.  Cool.  I've yet to see anybody on this thread want it.

ETA -
quote:

ORIGINAL: steve2011
if it isn't valued why are people still replying to my thread?

We'd do the same thing if you had come on here and said that eating tomatoes was going to make a person ill.  Some of us will call BS when we see it.



Rule -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (1/10/2011 5:22:22 PM)

FR

I suspect that he is very much a minor and if so he ought not to be on this website.



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