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steve2011 -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/6/2010 12:27:19 PM)
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I strongly beleive if yuo were emotionally healhty you wouldn't feel the need to live this day or be on this site, it's hardly a shocking revelation, just a quick goole search will show plenty of people with my beliefs, if you went to see a doctor he'd tell you the same things as me.
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ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
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ORIGINAL: steve2011
Now, of course we don't all fit nicely into categories as individuals. Obviously there really are some progressive men out there who dig domination, just as there are some women out there who dig being the dominatrix - for whatever reason. I'm not saying that people can't find submissive men and or dominant women, and furthermore, I'm not saying that they can't last as couples. All I'm saying is that for most of us, that's not really how we want it. A lot of people are getting caught up in politically correct pop culture propaganda, and getting completely confused about what the average man and woman expect from each other. It pays to understand how we've been programmed. Men want to lead, women want to be led.
What does it mean to be a take-charge male? It doesn't mean being an ogre. It doesn't men slapping women around - in fact, it never, ever means that - violence is that antithesis of being in control; it's usually a sign that a man knows he's completely out of control and is too socially stupid to understand how to control a person any other way. Being a male doesn't mean keeping your wife in the kitchen and bedroom. It doesn't mean discouraging her from getting a caree - again, the desire to confine is the exact opposite of being truly in control. A woman wants to know that your game is good enough compared to other men that you don't have to resort to these kinds of crude tactics.
Being the dominant male - the kind that women really desire - means that you, as a man, are ambitious to provide - and that ambition to provide should be greater than hers. That being the case, you won't have to worry about forcing her to do more of the nurturing and house management in the family, because she'll naturally take up those duties on her own when she can trust you with procuring the resources. That doesn't mean she'll give up her career or her other life for you - she won't. It's the modern world and in this day and age there's more division of labor - a modern fact of life that complements our evolution; it doesn't impede it. Consequently, it is natural for a woman to at least pitch in with respect to some of the areas traditionally governed by men exclusively, and vice versa.
But in the end, most women want men to do the majority of the leading and the providing; most women want their men to be even more ambitious than they are. Most women want their men to be intelligent. Most women want their men to be athletic and in good physical health. Most women see themselves with someone who can ultimately protect them, and their offspring. That means no wuss boys allowed.
Naturally, we have our own expectations of women. We want a woman to occasionally stimulate them with a challenge, but ultimately, we want a woman submit to us. We want a woman to be a good nurterer and someone who's reliable, someone we can trust with finances and, later, children. We don't someone who's going to cop an attitude with us. We don't want someone who looks at us as a meal ticket and picks a fight if they don't get their way. We don't want someone who's going to make demands or set ultimatums. We don't want someone who's out to compete against us and outdo us in every way. Hint to women: if you can beat your man at sports AND earn more money than he does AND are more skilled/capable than he is in just about every way, drop him - you two aren't gonna last long. I don't care how nice he is. You'll get bored, he'll get hurt.
It's not logical, it's bio-logical.
No it's your fantasy who wants the world like that and sorry.
Hey, I'm together with my guy for something over 8 years, we earn roughly the same, I couldn't beat him playing rugby (nor would I want to) when it comes to kickboxing I can kick his ass, same with inline skating.
Some things he does better than me, some things I do better than him....
You are trying to tell me what I as a woman desire from a man? How often were you a woman?
I want a guy I like, I can rely on and not a "provider" because I can provide for myself, a guy who's strong enough to live with a strong woman who won't feel threatened that she might outearn him. I actually encouraged my other half to change jobs if he likes, I wouldn't mind if he earns less but is happier because he enjoys another job more.
If your relationship comes down to if he or she earns more, you know it's not all that great at all to start with!
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