RE: Bdsm is wrong (Full Version)

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steve2011 -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/6/2010 11:37:18 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: steve2011

There you go, you kind of backed up what I said 'lockit', yes i'd say pretty much ALL submissive men will feel angry, some will have it buried very well, some will show it and become aggressive at times. Anger is a healthy emotion, especially for males, it's just the bodys way of saying this is wrong for me. Emotionally intelligent people will realise this and do something about it.

Then that is exactly what you should do.  Take yourself to a nice vanilla site and find a 'normal' non kinky woman to have a great healthy relationship with.  Forget whatever urges brought you here and you'll be just fine.



No, hold up here guys, there exists the same exact thing in the female side of submission, with the newbies (****NB: NEWBIES) and they cry, weep and gnash their teeth and rail at God, oh, why oh, why am I a submissive, and fight and piss and moan.

Not every submissive goes gentle into that goodnight.

Then sooner or later they (the greatest number of them anyway) lower themselves in that nice hot luxurious bath, and revel in it.

And of course there are a select few who rail for the rest of their lives (a certain submissive male in Ireland comes to mind) and harp and harp on the same old shit, rather than getting with whatever program is in there.



That's called repression. Like when a child has unhealthy over bearing parents, he/she will cry, scream, yell, kick, basically do everything to stop it and keep his personality but usually the parent wins and the child gets grinded down and learns to hold in emotions, sadly its a pattern that takes a lot of work to stop.




lovingpet -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/6/2010 11:37:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: steve2011

There you go, you kind of backed up what I said 'lockit', yes i'd say pretty much ALL submissive men will feel angry, some will have it buried very well, some will show it and become aggressive at times. Anger is a healthy emotion, especially for males, it's just the bodys way of saying this is wrong for me. Emotionally intelligent people will realise this and do something about it.

Then that is exactly what you should do.  Take yourself to a nice vanilla site and find a 'normal' non kinky woman to have a great healthy relationship with.  Forget whatever urges brought you here and you'll be just fine.



No, hold up here guys, there exists the same exact thing in the female side of submission, with the newbies (****NB: NEWBIES) and they cry, weep and gnash their teeth and rail at God, oh, why oh, why am I a submissive, and fight and piss and moan.

Not every submissive goes gentle into that goodnight.

Then sooner or later they (the greatest number of them anyway) lower themselves in that nice hot luxurious bath, and revel in it.

And of course there are a select few who rail for the rest of their lives (a certain submissive male in Ireland comes to mind) and harp and harp on the same old shit, rather than getting with whatever program is in there.



Yup, yup.  Been there.  Did that.  Then I found out it's a lot more satisfying to just live a fulfilling life.  That bath really is rather luxurious. 






Lockit -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/6/2010 11:38:31 AM)

Steve, I don't need control. It isn't about control for me. It's that I know how to do life in such a way that I have taught many others, in the work I once did, how to live happier more well rounded lives. People around me know I am happy and respect me, come to me for advice and listen when I speak.

You are not understanding human nature. Even in vanilla relationships, there are power dynamics. It may be a push or a shove or a gentle insistence, but at some point it is there. Watch small children playing. It is there.

You can fight nature all you want... but you can't change it.

The thing is, with good dominance, there isn't anything abusive in it and no one is taking advantage of anyone. These are willing partners.

Now, while you are attacking us for doing what we do... do you really want us examining you and your relationship? Hum? Does your partner know you are here?




LadyHibiscus -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/6/2010 11:39:50 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MisterMonster

Tellin' you all, we can walk away right now.



They will NOT. THEY WILL CONTINUE TO FEED THE TROLLS.

And CM will continue to get the reputation of a giant trollfest.

I think Godzilla + Gamera could outdo Cloverfield.




lovingpet -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/6/2010 11:39:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: steve2011


quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: steve2011

There you go, you kind of backed up what I said 'lockit', yes i'd say pretty much ALL submissive men will feel angry, some will have it buried very well, some will show it and become aggressive at times. Anger is a healthy emotion, especially for males, it's just the bodys way of saying this is wrong for me. Emotionally intelligent people will realise this and do something about it.

Then that is exactly what you should do.  Take yourself to a nice vanilla site and find a 'normal' non kinky woman to have a great healthy relationship with.  Forget whatever urges brought you here and you'll be just fine.



No, hold up here guys, there exists the same exact thing in the female side of submission, with the newbies (****NB: NEWBIES) and they cry, weep and gnash their teeth and rail at God, oh, why oh, why am I a submissive, and fight and piss and moan.

Not every submissive goes gentle into that goodnight.

Then sooner or later they (the greatest number of them anyway) lower themselves in that nice hot luxurious bath, and revel in it.

And of course there are a select few who rail for the rest of their lives (a certain submissive male in Ireland comes to mind) and harp and harp on the same old shit, rather than getting with whatever program is in there.



That's called repression. Like when a child has unhealthy over bearing parents, he/she will cry, scream, yell, kick, basically do everything to stop it and keep his personality but usually the parent wins and the child gets grinded down and learns to hold in emotions, sadly its a pattern that takes a lot of work to stop.


No.  It's the final stage of grief.  It's called acceptance and it is the one that finally frees us to move on and begin to truly live again. 






MisterMonster -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/6/2010 11:41:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus


quote:

ORIGINAL: MisterMonster

Now I remember I don't post in threads like these too often. Sooo much reading!

Ok, let's talk about something that REALLY matters: Godzilla vs. Cloverfield Monster. Who would win?




Whoa. Tough one. Sentiment says Godzilla, common sense says Cloverfield because that dude is INSANE!


Mademoiselle, I no longer prefer your company. I challenge you to pistols at dawn.


[sm=blasted.gif]


But seriously, think about it, what did you ACTUALLY see Cloverfield Monster do? I mean, he left a great impression, but is there any substance beneath all the razzle-dazzle?




ownedbyPF -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/6/2010 11:41:12 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MisterMonster

Tellin' you all, we can walk away right now.


This is like one of those mean things my Master tells me to do where I know he's right and yet.. it's soooo hard to do it!
Some threads are like a train wreck.. you know you shouldn't look and yet.... it's sooo hard not to!
~s




steve2011 -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/6/2010 11:42:01 AM)

sorry but thats way off the mark, people may put that down to a child being naughty or bad but its actually the child being healthy. When a child is born they cry when they are upset get angry when they are angry, express joy when they are happy and in a lot of cultures this is a problem for parents, if someone enters therapy, certainly the one I do, it is about freeing those emotions again.
quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

quote:

ORIGINAL: steve2011


quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: steve2011

There you go, you kind of backed up what I said 'lockit', yes i'd say pretty much ALL submissive men will feel angry, some will have it buried very well, some will show it and become aggressive at times. Anger is a healthy emotion, especially for males, it's just the bodys way of saying this is wrong for me. Emotionally intelligent people will realise this and do something about it.

Then that is exactly what you should do.  Take yourself to a nice vanilla site and find a 'normal' non kinky woman to have a great healthy relationship with.  Forget whatever urges brought you here and you'll be just fine.



No, hold up here guys, there exists the same exact thing in the female side of submission, with the newbies (****NB: NEWBIES) and they cry, weep and gnash their teeth and rail at God, oh, why oh, why am I a submissive, and fight and piss and moan.

Not every submissive goes gentle into that goodnight.

Then sooner or later they (the greatest number of them anyway) lower themselves in that nice hot luxurious bath, and revel in it.

And of course there are a select few who rail for the rest of their lives (a certain submissive male in Ireland comes to mind) and harp and harp on the same old shit, rather than getting with whatever program is in there.



That's called repression. Like when a child has unhealthy over bearing parents, he/she will cry, scream, yell, kick, basically do everything to stop it and keep his personality but usually the parent wins and the child gets grinded down and learns to hold in emotions, sadly its a pattern that takes a lot of work to stop.


No.  It's the final stage of grief.  It's called acceptance and it is the one that finally frees us to move on and begin to truly live again. 








DarkSteven -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/6/2010 11:42:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: steve2011

All women want is an alpha male, if any so called dominant woman on here met a strong alpha male they would ditch this lifestyle immediatly i've no doubt about that


/Walks in/
/Exudes Dominant alpha scent/
/Collects all women in thread/
/Leaves/

Seriously, steve, I don't know where you're coming from, what experiences you've had, etc., but I've known some Dominant women who were perfectly happy being what they were.  And that was even taking into account that they realized that I would be forever off limits due to that.

The article you cited seems to think that maledom is the natural order of things.  I am fairly certain that it is, in fact, easier to mesh a maledom relationship with our current US culture than a femaledom one, but if the relationship works for all parties, far be it from me to disapprove of it.

And just to confuse you more, there are sub males that could easily be considered alphas.




LadyHibiscus -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/6/2010 11:43:02 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MisterMonster

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus


quote:

ORIGINAL: MisterMonster

Now I remember I don't post in threads like these too often. Sooo much reading!

Ok, let's talk about something that REALLY matters: Godzilla vs. Cloverfield Monster. Who would win?




Whoa. Tough one. Sentiment says Godzilla, common sense says Cloverfield because that dude is INSANE!


Mademoiselle, I no longer prefer your company. I challenge you to pistols at dawn.


[sm=blasted.gif]


But seriously, think about it, what did you ACTUALLY see Cloverfield Monster do? I mean, he left a great impression, but is there any substance beneath all the razzle-dazzle?



Well, smashed buildings, right? Eatings of various humans? General alien crankiness?

You KNOW I am all for Godzilla, though.




steve2011 -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/6/2010 11:44:41 AM)

I've not intended to attack anyone, as for the n ature bit, its in a males dna not to be submissive, but people around him from a young age try to make him so if he is not given a healthy upbringing, i think its you who is not understand human nature lockit.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Steve, I don't need control. It isn't about control for me. It's that I know how to do life in such a way that I have taught many others, in the work I once did, how to live happier more well rounded lives. People around me know I am happy and respect me, come to me for advice and listen when I speak.

You are not understanding human nature. Even in vanilla relationships, there are power dynamics. It may be a push or a shove or a gentle insistence, but at some point it is there. Watch small children playing. It is there.

You can fight nature all you want... but you can't change it.

The thing is, with good dominance, there isn't anything abusive in it and no one is taking advantage of anyone. These are willing partners.

Now, while you are attacking us for doing what we do... do you really want us examining you and your relationship? Hum? Does your partner know you are here?






mnottertail -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/6/2010 11:45:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: steve2011
ORIGINAL: mnottertail
ORIGINAL: LadyPact
ORIGINAL: steve2011

Trimmed for TOS



That's called repression. Like when a child has unhealthy over bearing parents, he/she will cry, scream, yell, kick, basically do everything to stop it and keep his personality but usually the parent wins and the child gets grinded down and learns to hold in emotions, sadly its a pattern that takes a lot of work to stop.


Or, the strong child has healthy bearing parents and are trying to keep them from ruining their lives.

So, I see that you are not a father, and that you are focusing in the wrong areas in your Psyche classes.

You will fail to become competent at either or both.

Thats what I see from here.


(and that rotgut shit about male dna and submission? you should grab a couple of biology classes right quick, cuz I don't think that we have centrifuged that outta the genome as of yet.  This appears to be as valid a science as all the other asswipe you have been espousing here)




MisterMonster -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/6/2010 11:45:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus


quote:

ORIGINAL: MisterMonster

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus


quote:

ORIGINAL: MisterMonster

Now I remember I don't post in threads like these too often. Sooo much reading!

Ok, let's talk about something that REALLY matters: Godzilla vs. Cloverfield Monster. Who would win?




Whoa. Tough one. Sentiment says Godzilla, common sense says Cloverfield because that dude is INSANE!


Mademoiselle, I no longer prefer your company. I challenge you to pistols at dawn.


[sm=blasted.gif]


But seriously, think about it, what did you ACTUALLY see Cloverfield Monster do? I mean, he left a great impression, but is there any substance beneath all the razzle-dazzle?



Well, smashed buildings, right? Eatings of various humans? General alien crankiness?

You KNOW I am all for Godzilla, though.


Attagirl, ok, you've redeemed yourself. And, Gamera is muey awesome, but for me it'll always be about Ultraman, baby.




steve2011 -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/6/2010 11:46:59 AM)

You really think submales or females are happy being humiliated Steven? Of course the dominants will be happy but the subs will not be, it's human nature, in ALL of them there will be something telling them thats wrong, some may admit it, some may not, but there is help out there guys.

good luck
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: steve2011

All women want is an alpha male, if any so called dominant woman on here met a strong alpha male they would ditch this lifestyle immediatly i've no doubt about that


/Walks in/
/Exudes Dominant alpha scent/
/Collects all women in thread/
/Leaves/

Seriously, steve, I don't know where you're coming from, what experiences you've had, etc., but I've known some Dominant women who were perfectly happy being what they were.  And that was even taking into account that they realized that I would be forever off limits due to that.

The article you cited seems to think that maledom is the natural order of things.  I am fairly certain that it is, in fact, easier to mesh a maledom relationship with our current US culture than a femaledom one, but if the relationship works for all parties, far be it from me to disapprove of it.

And just to confuse you more, there are sub males that could easily be considered alphas.






lovingpet -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/6/2010 11:49:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: steve2011

sorry but thats way off the mark, people may put that down to a child being naughty or bad but its actually the child being healthy. When a child is born they cry when they are upset get angry when they are angry, express joy when they are happy and in a lot of cultures this is a problem for parents, if someone enters therapy, certainly the one I do, it is about freeing those emotions again.
quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

quote:

ORIGINAL: steve2011


quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: steve2011

There you go, you kind of backed up what I said 'lockit', yes i'd say pretty much ALL submissive men will feel angry, some will have it buried very well, some will show it and become aggressive at times. Anger is a healthy emotion, especially for males, it's just the bodys way of saying this is wrong for me. Emotionally intelligent people will realise this and do something about it.

Then that is exactly what you should do.  Take yourself to a nice vanilla site and find a 'normal' non kinky woman to have a great healthy relationship with.  Forget whatever urges brought you here and you'll be just fine.



No, hold up here guys, there exists the same exact thing in the female side of submission, with the newbies (****NB: NEWBIES) and they cry, weep and gnash their teeth and rail at God, oh, why oh, why am I a submissive, and fight and piss and moan.

Not every submissive goes gentle into that goodnight.

Then sooner or later they (the greatest number of them anyway) lower themselves in that nice hot luxurious bath, and revel in it.

And of course there are a select few who rail for the rest of their lives (a certain submissive male in Ireland comes to mind) and harp and harp on the same old shit, rather than getting with whatever program is in there.



That's called repression. Like when a child has unhealthy over bearing parents, he/she will cry, scream, yell, kick, basically do everything to stop it and keep his personality but usually the parent wins and the child gets grinded down and learns to hold in emotions, sadly its a pattern that takes a lot of work to stop.


No.  It's the final stage of grief.  It's called acceptance and it is the one that finally frees us to move on and begin to truly live again. 







You are wrong yet again.  You are intentionally replacing one set of emotions with a set you have determined to be correct.  As the therapist, you are in the position of authority and so you just must be right.  YOU are the one causing repression.  You are NOT the one healing it.  You see, good therapy lets people come to their own conclusion that are functional and healthy FOR THEM, not what you think they ought to be.  Therapy is about making peace with self, healing if needed and wanted, and living life on purpose instead of based off of some script that we don't even realize is there. 

Man!  They will give PhD's to anyone these days.






LadyHibiscus -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/6/2010 11:50:23 AM)

ULTRAMAN!!

Yeah, the 60's were good!




DarkSteven -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/6/2010 11:50:33 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: steve2011

its in a males dna not to be submissive,


Oh, boy.  This statement is driving me crazy.

Steve, you're correct that testosterone is in fact a driver of aggression.  But to imply that aggression is what Dominants are made of, is sticking in my craw.  To me, a Dom/me DOES have aggression, but is capable of CONTROLLING it.  uncontrolled aggression is simply abusive behavior, and I do not associate that with being Dom OR sub.

Part of the beauty of D/s relationships, for me, is the way in which power is handled.  And your reasoning doesn't seem to include that.




LadyHibiscus -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/6/2010 11:51:46 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: steve2011

its in a males dna not to be submissive,


Oh, boy.  This statement is driving me crazy.

Steve, you're correct that testosterone is in fact a driver of aggression.  But to imply that aggression is what Dominants are made of, is sticking in my craw.  To me, a Dom/me DOES have aggression, but is capable of CONTROLLING it.  uncontrolled aggression is simply abusive behavior, and I do not associate that with being Dom OR sub.

Part of the beauty of D/s relationships, for me, is the way in which power is handled.  And your reasoning doesn't seem to include that.




Psych = soft science. told ya!





Lockit -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/6/2010 11:51:48 AM)

Okay Steve, heaven forbid I argue with a guy still stuck. You win, you are so right. Have a good life.

I'm going with Godzilla because I don't know that other one and it is psychologically safer to go with what you know, dontcha know? Stay in a nice little safe box where you feel comfortable and don't have to challenge yourself or big bad monsters and the inside of that box proves that everyone has the same box and lives in one too. [8|]




lusciouslips19 -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/6/2010 11:52:08 AM)

Submissives are being humiliated? Really?????

What book did you learn that from and what real life BDSM kinksters do you actually know?




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