RapierFugue -> RE: When you hide an idiot... (12/16/2010 9:44:03 AM)
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ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam I can top that one Rapier. Jeholy Witnesses (that's what My neighbor who had a thick Cuban accent called em and it stuck) kept showing up every sunday morning. After several polite (believe it or not) refusals and asking them to not return, I had enough. I looked out the peephole. Measured and grabbed the right amount of leash on a 95# German shepherd (that's alsatian for you Brits) and opened the door suddenly. As Thor lunged at their throats, I stood there in tighty whities an snarled "What the FUCK do you want?... I said dont FUCKING come BACK" yanked the dog back in and slammed the door. They never returned. [:D] A mate of mine once threw a cat at a JW. Doesn't sound like much, but it was the sort of cat that doesn't like being "on" people, and thus proceeded to climb said JW like a curtain, latch onto the top of his head/hair, and then went for the claw-filled double dismount with inward pike (4.2 degree of difficulty). The noises the bloke made were apparently hysterically funny, along the lines of "AAARRRGHHH NO GET IT OFF OH CHRIST JESUS NO STOP IT AAARRRGHHH!!" [;)] Now on the “good sky-pilot” front I was once woken on another Sunday morning while staying at a then girlfriend’s house. I opened the door to find a HUGE black west Indian lady, in all her church finery. She threw wide her arms, as if to hug me, beamed a smile as wide as her arse at me, and in a very loud voice exclaimed: “DE LARD JESUS LOVES YOU!!!” She seemed so genuinely happy that my usual “sky pilots who wake me on a Sunday” line of “fuck off and die” just felt wrong, so I politely thanked her for the information, shook her hand, and wished her well.
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