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What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/16/2010 9:16:29 PM

SAMHAIN09

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I personally feel that the best expectations one can have are no expectations.

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RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/16/2010 9:54:06 PM

HisEvelyn

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I personally would be very insulted if my Master had no expectations of me. That would indicate a lack of care. Master expects me to be pleasing to him, to serve him, to respect him. If he had no expectations of me at all, then what would be the point?

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RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/16/2010 9:56:13 PM

Twoshoes

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What if his expectation of you is to not require expectations?

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RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/16/2010 9:58:40 PM

HisEvelyn

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LOL! Then he would not be the Master I know and love! Part of his fun with me is to set expectations and watch me strive to reach them! :)

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RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/16/2010 10:03:03 PM

SAMHAIN09

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HisEvelyn

I personally would be very insulted if my Master had no expectations of me. That would indicate a lack of care. Master expects me to be pleasing to him, to serve him, to respect him. If he had no expectations of me at all, then what would be the point?

I agree with you that love and respect are important. I just feel that if you have no expectations there wont be any dissapointments on either end.

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RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/16/2010 10:15:41 PM

YoungBlondeSlave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09

I agree with you that love and respect are important. I just feel that if you have no expectations there wont be any dissapointments on either end.

So you expect that not having any expectations will allow you to not be disappointed? Sadly, expecting to not having any expectations is still an expectation. Oh and, disappointments happen, it's part of life...how you deal with them is the challenge and will determine the character you have.

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RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/16/2010 10:17:12 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09

I personally feel that the best expectations one can have are no expectations.

This seems quite silly to me. If I had no expectations, any ol' idiot would do.

I expect to him to take his word seriously and to mean it when he gives it. That's really the biggest one for me because it ties into so much - that he is what he says he is, that I can rely on him to be that way tomorrow, that he has committed to the lifestyle we've chosen, etc.

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RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/16/2010 10:22:25 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09

quote:

ORIGINAL: HisEvelyn

I personally would be very insulted if my Master had no expectations of me. That would indicate a lack of care. Master expects me to be pleasing to him, to serve him, to respect him. If he had no expectations of me at all, then what would be the point?

I agree with you that love and respect are important. I just feel that if you have no expectations there wont be any dissapointments on either end.

How can you have a real relationship with expectations? Without the risk of disappointment?

I expect Valyraen not to murder me in my sleep. I also expect him to take care of our animals when they are sick and need to go to the vet. I expect him not to pawn my wedding jewelry or break my computer.

Those are expectations. I can't fathom living with someone as a roommate, let alone an owner, without having any expectations. I mean, I'd be pretty disappointed if he said "Eh... let's just shoot the ferret, I don't feel like going to the vet". I also expect - based on his words and previous behavior - that he would repulsed by the very idea.

Also, without expectations you can not even expect that they will still be dominant. Sometimes people do give all this up. So what you are saying that a person should enter into this with no expectation of continuing it.

That seems... rather odd.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/16/2010 10:29:50 PM

SAMHAIN09

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09

quote:

ORIGINAL: HisEvelyn

I personally would be very insulted if my Master had no expectations of me. That would indicate a lack of care. Master expects me to be pleasing to him, to serve him, to respect him. If he had no expectations of me at all, then what would be the point?

I agree with you that love and respect are important. I just feel that if you have no expectations there wont be any dissapointments on either end.

How can you have a real relationship with expectations? Without the risk of disappointment?

I expect Valyraen not to murder me in my sleep. I also expect him to take care of our animals when they are sick and need to go to the vet. I expect him not to pawn my wedding jewelry or break my computer.

Those are expectations. I can't fathom living with someone as a roommate, let alone an owner, without having any expectations. I mean, I'd be pretty disappointed if he said "Eh... let's just shoot the ferret, I don't feel like going to the vet". I also expect - based on his words and previous behavior - that he would repulsed by the very idea.

Also, without expectations you can not even expect that they will still be dominant. Sometimes people do give all this up. So what you are saying that a person should enter into this with no expectation of continuing it.

That seems... rather odd.

You are very right about this.

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RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/17/2010 7:31:08 AM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09
I just feel that if you have no expectations there wont be any dissapointments on either end.

Everyone has expectations.

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RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/17/2010 7:35:48 AM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09

quote:

ORIGINAL: HisEvelyn

I personally would be very insulted if my Master had no expectations of me. That would indicate a lack of care. Master expects me to be pleasing to him, to serve him, to respect him. If he had no expectations of me at all, then what would be the point?

I agree with you that love and respect are important. I just feel that if you have no expectations there wont be any dissapointments on either end.

Hoe about the disappointment you'll feel when she leaves you and looks for someone who will provide guidance and expectations?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/17/2010 7:59:39 AM

DomArtist4u

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I expect acceptance of my expetations and a commitment to fufil them to the best of her abilities. I also assume she has expectations of me as her dominant to keep my expectaions of her on a realistic and humane level as well as to keep the relationship fresh and creative. Both should expect mutual understanding of each others expectations.

I also expect someone here to disagree with me.

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RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/17/2010 8:23:51 AM

DMFParadox

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Word, op. All is samsara; expectations breed discontent and ignorance. Strive without attachment to outcome.

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RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/17/2010 10:23:27 AM

leadership527

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09
I personally feel that the best expectations one can have are no expectations.

This is a trick question right? I expect her to be perfect for me.

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
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RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/17/2010 1:12:58 PM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09

I personally feel that the best expectations one can have are no expectations.

I personally disagree with this... I prefer.... Reasonable expectations! over no expectation or high expecations.

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/17/2010 1:53:37 PM

LadyNTrainer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox
Word, op. All is samsara; expectations breed discontent and ignorance. Strive without attachment to outcome.

If you are referring in an abstract philosophical sense to samsara; not being personally attached to an outcome even if someone turns out to be a psycho serial killer heroin addict who pawns all your stuff and sets fire to your house before murdering you and burying your naked mutilated corpse in the backyard, this makes sense on a zen kind of level. If you want to live in the real world, it helps to establish firm expectations that exclude psycho serial killer heroin addicts from your dating pool.

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RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/17/2010 4:03:01 PM

Aileen1968

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09

I personally feel that the best expectations one can have are no expectations.

I think he probably likes that I try my best.

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RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/17/2010 4:04:35 PM

littlewonder

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my best expectations to expect is the type of relationship I sought.

I have expectations. We all have expectations no matter how we choose to deny it. If you didn't have any you would just choose any person or persons to be with. You wouldn't care because hey....no expectations right?

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RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/17/2010 6:59:52 PM

anniezz338

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I'm not seeing where having no expectations would be a good thing. On either side. It would seem in a relationship, it would be a need on both sides

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RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/18/2010 10:25:00 AM

xssve

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I think there is a difference between rational expectations and detailed fantasy - i.e., if you build someone up into something they're not, disappointment will surely ensue - it's like any other relationship, you have to like someone for who they are, they have to like you for who you are, and/or if someone has to change, you should be able to agree on who is going to do the changing.

I for instance, can act pretty high handed if that's what you like, but it really isn't my personality day in and day out, and you're never going to get to know me if I'm not being myself - by the same token, if you're getting into a fantasy role, or if I expect you to be like whatever fantasy I've built up about you, I might miss some important aspect of your personality that might eventually undermine any real rapor that might develop between us - i.e., expectations are inescapable, but some degree of flexibility is called for, reality being imperfect.

Anyway, all what if's, hypotheticals - and that is a form of expectations, creating problems before they even arise - I expect you to give it up, I suspect you expect me to put it to you in some manner, beyond that, it's all a process of getting to know each other - including whatever expectations we both might be harboring.

As OsideGirl says, we all have expectations, I think it's less a matter of not having any and more a matter of communicating and managing them to achieve a mutually satisfactory outcome.

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