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gungadin09 -> RE: What it's not about. (12/17/2010 3:29:55 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: cejohnsonsr
That which follows contains no questions. It's not a riddle. It is a statement of fact, requiring no further comment. Those of us who are genuine will recognize this. To the rest of you: discuss it among yourselves if you must, but don't write to me. I have neither the time, nor the inclination to explain what I just explained.
i will vehemently stand behind Your right to say whatever You think, regardless of popularity. But this is a message board. Did You suppose You were going to get only positive responses? Why not write it in Your profile, instead, if You don't want to hear feedback? If You have neither the time nor the inclination for debate, You are in the wrong place. And, for the record, i don't think You've explained anything. On the contrary, You merely made assertions.
BDSM is not something that can be experienced online...
BDSM is not a lifestyle...
BDSM is 1st, & foremost, a sexual proclivity...
You don't develop a BDSM relationship by talking about it forever...
A BDSM relationship is established by an act of submission...
This act most certainly includes physical domination & abuse...
These opinions are as valid as any, and You are certainly entitled to them. However, these statements are pure assertion. You would be more persuasive if You gave reasons WHY You think that "BDSM" is not a lifestyle", "BDSM is a sexual proclivity", "BDSM relationships are defined by an act of submission, which must include physical domination and abuse...", etc. Anyone can make an assertion, whether it's right or wrong. Words aren't hard to say. (i can say that i'm the tooth fairy, for example). Why should we believe You? You haven't offered any argument to support Your assertions, You merely state them as though they were irrefutable facts. They aren't. You are not persuasive.
I would suggest everyone who thinks they are into BDSM actually take the time to look up each of the words
BONDAGE -
DISCIPLINE/DOMINATION (<--- there are 2 schools of thought) - SADISM-
MASOCHISM.
How do YOU define these terms? i'm not sure Your definitions are the same as other peoples'. You said You looked these terms up? Where? What dictionary or website can back up what You are saying?
Then be honest with yourself. Words mean things.
And lawyers, writers, and politicians have argued for centuries about what they do mean. It's not as cut and dry as You believe.
If you've never physically bound & abused another human being (and enjoyed it), you're neither a dom nor a sadist...
If you've never given yourself into the control of another for the express purpose of being bound & abused (and enjoyed it) you're neither a sub nor a masochist...
Furthermore, if you have a laundry list of things you won't do, or allow to be done to you, that takes longer to read than War & Peace, you're NOT a sub...
A sub doesn't get to decide very much at all. Entering an arrangement with more than a few reasonable boundaries is NOT submission...
Allowing for more than a few reasonable considerations is NOT dominance...
Another series of unsupported assertions. Don't get me wrong, i like Your boldness. i like the fact that You are willing to go out on a limb for what You believe. i like the way You put it out there, and say "this is what i think". However, this is a discussion forum. Don't post unless You are willing to back up Your arguments; unless You are prepared to have people disagree with You. If you can't take the heat... well, You know.
Those of us who are truly dominant, who have left the realm of fantasy & experienced the physical manifestation of those fantasies are genuinely offended by the pretenders among us. And you are legion.
(Speaking for myself & on behalf of the few genuine doms in existence. Nobody really gives a fuck what a sub thinks, so just assume she agrees with me.)
This sounds like grandstanding. Who are You addressing? All the fakes and pretenders on the forums? You've made, what, five posts? You're hardly an expert yet. The fact that You just show up out of nowhere and start ordering people around, like You're the ultimate authority- that's the fantasy.
There are people here who have been doing this for decades and are extremely accomplished and well respected in their communities. In their REAL LIFE communities, not online. But You wouldn't know anything about that, cause You just got here. Why don't You read a little bit, before You make any more posts. i think You will find that many of the assumptions You are making about the forum members are wrong.
Happy Holidays.
And to You.
pam
Look, i'm one of the few posters here who doesn't mind this kind of prescriptionistic argument. You went out on a limb, took a bold stance. Kudos to You. However, i'm going to give You some advice for how to survive around here (regardless of whether You give a fuck about what i think, lol)
1. Please get used to the fact that this place is full of outspoken, opinionated people, who won't hesitate to give You their opinion, whether You want it or not.
2. Unless You desire to get ripped to shreds, You may wish to avoid mentioning "true doms", "genuine doms", "pretenders", "wannabees", etc. i would also avoid specifically stating that there's any group You DON'T want to hear responses from.
3. Avoid preaching
4. Don't whine
5. If, by any chance, You're married- for god's sake, just talk to Your wife
6. You may wish to familiarize Yourself with the rules of TOS
7. Please note that for everyone here who You don't give a fuck what they say, there are going to be plenty who feel that way about You
8. Have a good one. Welcome to the forums.
pam
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