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A submissives tears - 12/18/2010 7:46:44 PM   
anniezz338


Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline 		Hi all. I was listening to a discussion about making a submissive cry. The mod spoke how his sub would have a stressful week, or be wound up about something but would feel anger and frustration. And he would purposely scene her to and past the crying point. He said he knew she needed a good cry or she would just stay frustrated and upset.

Is that common or relatable in your relationships? For the Masters/Doms reading, what are your thoughts on a subs/slaves tears?

other reasons were talked about, mostly how the emotion being shown and felt can be such a rush, intensity and such.

< Message edited by anniezz338 -- 12/18/2010 7:52:45 PM >

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RE: A submissives tears - 12/18/2010 7:53:36 PM   
delicatelydirty


Posts: 126
Joined: 2/7/2010
Status: offline 		I know for me if I am down or stressed or the like a really rough session is fantastic stress relief, lots of pain and heavy bondage ect allows me to just let go, I tend not to cry when I play but that is  just how I am ... the release I get however, is the same, so I can understand this completely...

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RE: A submissives tears - 12/18/2010 7:54:35 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		I have had some very intense scenes with DB during our 7 years together, only a few have made tears flow. I used to feel like tears would make Him feel disappointed in me. When I asked, He said that He didn't feel one way or the other about me crying during a scene, but that tears were a little bit of a turn-on. When I have cried out of emotional distress, it sets Him on edge because He usually can't do much to fix whatever is upsetting me. Those kind of tears bother Him, and He tells me that He can't deal with them well. I know this about Him and do my best to keep my waterworks at bay if I can when He is around. Sometimes though, He knows that I just need to cry and eventually, I will stop, and the world will go on.

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RE: A submissives tears - 12/18/2010 7:58:31 PM   
YoungBlondeSlave


Posts: 953
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline 		i agree absolutely, sometimes it's like i've got so much emotion, anger and energy all balled up in me with no way to release it except through a scene. Once i have a good cry out, i'm okay. But being helped to reach that point is so important, i'm so grateful when it happens. Just, momentarily being able to let go of control, just let things happen...does wonders for my psyche. Afterwards i feel happy and re-centered. It's great stuff.

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RE: A submissives tears - 12/18/2010 7:59:33 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		for me crying can be cathartic. It's a release of tension and stress. Plus, he finds tears to be hot.

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RE: A submissives tears - 12/18/2010 8:40:06 PM   
xXsoumisXx


Posts: 339
Joined: 7/26/2009
From: USA
Status: offline 		I don't think He has ever done a scene on purpose for that reason, but i know i need it sometimes...especially when W/we have been apart for a while.. i need that intenseness to reconnect. That "needing to cry" is really for me, and not for Him, though He does not mind it. Nor is he looking for it, as some do.
He just knows that if i am brought to that level, i am much better emotionally, and submissively.

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RE: A submissives tears - 12/18/2010 8:43:32 PM   
anniezz338


Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Plus, he finds tears to be hot.


That was also agreed on by some :)


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RE: A submissives tears - 12/18/2010 9:58:17 PM   
hausboy


Posts: 2360
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline 		I find it difficult to cry, and it can be a tremendous release to do so....  I don't do it often, but when I'm in the right frame of mind for it, there is something very powerful in being spanked to tears.

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RE: A submissives tears - 12/18/2010 10:06:30 PM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline 		While I feel sort of guilty about it, this:
quote:


He said he didn't feel one way or the other about me crying during a scene, but that tears were a little bit of a turn on.


< Message edited by Twoshoes -- 12/18/2010 10:21:22 PM >

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RE: A submissives tears - 12/19/2010 12:27:57 AM   
Hisnerdykittycat


Posts: 6
Joined: 12/15/2010
From: Dreamland, USA
Status: offline 		I tend to not cry during a scene.

However, if I'm having a particularly stressful and frustrating day, I've no problem getting it out in the open, talking about it, or writing it down to get my thoughts out of my jumbled head. While scening can be a stress relief, I tend to like talking things out with Papa to overcome the stress.


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RE: A submissives tears - 12/19/2010 1:12:26 AM   
subinlife


Posts: 263
Joined: 5/20/2008
Status: offline 		My first thought on reading the OP was that I don't cry.
I rarely cry for any reason, people tell me I'm too quiet.
Even during play or a scene, I make very little noise.
 
Somedays I wish I could cry or even just scream, lol.

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RE: A submissives tears - 12/19/2010 3:39:22 AM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline 		At times I find tears hot, other times not. It all depends upon WTF is going on. :-/

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RE: A submissives tears - 12/19/2010 5:45:12 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subinlife

My first thought on reading the OP was that I don't cry.
I rarely cry for any reason, people tell me I'm too quiet.
Even during play or a scene, I make very little noise.
 
Somedays I wish I could cry or even just scream, lol.



I used to be that way and somehow with therapy I learned to feel safe enough to cry. I cry now but it is not something I am comfortable with yet.

My Master, has at times, engineered headspaces to facilitate the release of tears.
He doesn't find my tears hot; he finds them disconcerting, but he knows they are a great release and that I find it difficult to let go that way.
When I do cry, He usually says: Those are my tears, give them to Me; you didn't want them anyway. He holds me close and whispers good girl and encourages me to cry it all out.

There is sometimes crying within play.
Crying after orgasms is common for me.

We recently had a play session and something triggered tears early on.
I was still feeling all the things he wished for me to feel and play continued.
I cried thoughout most of the session.
He did not stop it because it is okay to cry and stopping play would be a punishment. He would have stopped it if he thought it necessary and I do have safewords.

We discussed it after and what he thought triggered it was correct... and further discussions followed after I had sometime to reflect and journal.

I had never felt so many feelings all at once before.
It was a level of play i had never experienced before.

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RE: A submissives tears - 12/19/2010 6:17:06 AM   
crystalclarinet


Posts: 31
Joined: 10/29/2009
Status: offline 		I tend to cry after an orgasm as well. I thought that it was an odd thing that I did, but apparently it is not. I am very glad to know that I am not the only one that does that.  

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RE: A submissives tears - 12/19/2010 7:12:16 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Well, he is a sadistic asshole, so it is rare for Alandra and I to not cry at some point during play. It is also rare for us to not laugh sometime during play too.

Play is fun for us and it is a complete release of the control we are expected to maintain on our behaviors. We get to just react and he will worry about the rest.

Knight's Kyra

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RE: A submissives tears - 12/19/2010 7:15:52 AM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338

Hi all. I was listening to a discussion about making a submissive cry. The mod spoke how his sub would have a stressful week, or be wound up about something but would feel anger and frustration. And he would purposely scene her to and past the crying point. He said he knew she needed a good cry or she would just stay frustrated and upset.

Is that common or relatable in your relationships? For the Masters/Doms reading, what are your thoughts on a subs/slaves tears?

other reasons were talked about, mostly how the emotion being shown and felt can be such a rush, intensity and such.


Oh man, memories.  It was like he knew me better than I knew me.  He could reduce me to tears, with a few words, and make me laugh with a few more.

I remember the first time, I was so ashamed of weakness, but when it was over, he asked how ya feeling now, and damn if I didn't feel as if the weight of the world had been lifted off me.  I never understood how he knew what I needed, but, he always did, even when I didn't.

It was never part of a "scene" (gawd I hate that word) though, it was always during deep conversations, that started out like any other and turned deep for one reason or tuther.

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yep

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RE: A submissives tears - 12/19/2010 8:01:20 AM   
anniezz338


Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

When I do cry, He usually says: Those are my tears, give them to Me; you didn't want them anyway. He holds me close and whispers good girl and encourages me to cry it all out.



The romantic in me just loves that :)

_____________________________

I had become insane, with horrific lapses of sanity. Edgar Allen Poe

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RE: A submissives tears - 12/19/2010 9:11:51 AM   
mbes


Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
Status: offline 		I very rarely cry, and then it is either because I am angry, or watching something sappy on the tv. Crying while angry only makes me more angry, so that one is a vicious circle.
Sometimes I think I would feel much better if I could, though.

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RE: A submissives tears - 12/20/2010 9:18:39 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I just got this request over the weekend.  The person that I was playing with wanted to be brought to the point of crying.  It's her release.  She knew that she wanted to get to that place and I was willing to take her.  Considering that it was our first time playing together, we had an awesome scene.  She had enough trust in Me to get her to the point where she could let her emotions out and be safe with Me.

That's how I tend to see tears.  The submissive is giving them to Me.  I actually like playing with folks who want to have this result because I know if I've gotten them to the right place that they were hoping for from a scene.  I did speak to her after regarding, if we were going to have that objective, the next time, she has to have a different choice of eye make-up.  I was worried that the brand she was using would run and sting her eyes.


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RE: A submissives tears - 12/20/2010 9:33:37 AM   
subinlife


Posts: 263
Joined: 5/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ


quote:

ORIGINAL: subinlife

My first thought on reading the OP was that I don't cry.
I rarely cry for any reason, people tell me I'm too quiet.
Even during play or a scene, I make very little noise.
 
Somedays I wish I could cry or even just scream, lol.



I used to be that way and somehow with therapy I learned to feel safe enough to cry. I cry now but it is not something I am comfortable with yet.

My Master, has at times, engineered headspaces to facilitate the release of tears.
He doesn't find my tears hot; he finds them disconcerting, but he knows they are a great release and that I find it difficult to let go that way.
When I do cry, He usually says: Those are my tears, give them to Me; you didn't want them anyway. He holds me close and whispers good girl and encourages me to cry it all out.

There is sometimes crying within play.
Crying after orgasms is common for me.

We recently had a play session and something triggered tears early on.
I was still feeling all the things he wished for me to feel and play continued.
I cried thoughout most of the session.
He did not stop it because it is okay to cry and stopping play would be a punishment. He would have stopped it if he thought it necessary and I do have safewords.

We discussed it after and what he thought triggered it was correct... and further discussions followed after I had sometime to reflect and journal.

I had never felt so many feelings all at once before.
It was a level of play i had never experienced before.


I want to get to that point, it would be wonderful. I have done the therapy thing.
My Dom knows of my problem and what it stems from, we are working on it.
Thank you AngelikaJ, you said exactly what I wish.

(in reply to angelikaJ)
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