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anyone with similar experiences? - 12/22/2010 10:03:40 AM   
derfman


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/2/2010
Status: offline 		Hi i am a rather newbie sub.  I have been corresponding by chat with a dom/master across country.  He has started asking me to send compromising pictures of myself some of which include my face.  He has also asked my to provide my ID stats - name address, phone number, etc.  I have not provided the stats info yet.  He says he has no illegal or malicious intent, asking for these things just to establish control.  I do not want to malign the guy by name in case he is speaking the truth.  But warning bells are going off in my head about the potential for blackmailing me.  Interested to hear if anyone else has had similar experiences.  Thanks
derfman
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RE: anyone with similar experiences? - 12/22/2010 10:09:14 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		I do not think it improper to establish EACH OTHERS bonafides.

Seems to me maybe you all should start with just swapping phone numbers. Call each other and sort of work into the next step.

I can go to a phone book or the courthouse and gain information on people, but that is hardly estabilishing control to know gnarleyglendas boob size or whether cocklickercalvin is cut or not and has a social security number.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to derfman)
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RE: anyone with similar experiences? - 12/22/2010 10:16:03 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		I never give out my address until I've had the vanilla meeting. I don't see why he needs yours, being long distance. You can get a google phone number. There was another thread about this.

I often send compromising pics unasked, or if asked nicely, but never if someone is being pushy.

Trust your gut.

(in reply to derfman)
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RE: anyone with similar experiences? - 12/22/2010 10:17:13 AM   
YoungBlondeSlave


Posts: 953
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: derfman

Hi i am a rather newbie sub.  I have been corresponding by chat with a dom/master across country.  He has started asking me to send compromising pictures of myself some of which include my face.  He has also asked my to provide my ID stats - name address, phone number, etc.  I have not provided the stats info yet.  He says he has no illegal or malicious intent, asking for these things just to establish control.  I do not want to malign the guy by name in case he is speaking the truth.  But warning bells are going off in my head about the potential for blackmailing me.  Interested to hear if anyone else has had similar experiences.  Thanks
derfman


Listen to those warning bells, i'm betting they're spot on.

Just because he *says* he has no malicious/illegal intent doesn't mean much of anything. He could very well be full of shit. Start with a phone call first if you really want to continue, then see what sort of warning bells are going off or, if they still are.

Try going to munches and different things like that to meet someone. They're much more likely to be on the up and up and you'll be able to feel them out better if you see them in real life. Many people on the boards here are from your area and they might very well be able to help you out much better than i can.

i wish you the best.


_____________________________

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice. Bill Cosby

Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings. Salvador Dali


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RE: anyone with similar experiences? - 12/22/2010 10:39:04 AM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline 		Don't bother. Anyone who plans on actually dominating you will be more focused on what they'll do to you when they have you, not on how comparatively little one gets out of making someone take compromising pictures of themselves without meeting them.

(in reply to YoungBlondeSlave)
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RE: anyone with similar experiences? - 12/22/2010 11:40:50 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		Ask not for whom the warning bells toll, they toll for thee.

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You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

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RE: anyone with similar experiences? - 12/22/2010 11:43:38 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Why do people ask such obvious questions?? Without meeting someone and establishing some sort of relationship, why would you ever send compromising photos and personal data.

People prey on the desperate and this smacks of that.

(in reply to windchymes)
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RE: anyone with similar experiences? - 12/22/2010 11:48:16 AM   
Michael75


Posts: 31
Joined: 4/4/2010
Status: offline 		Be very careful.

< Message edited by Michael75 -- 12/22/2010 11:49:40 AM >

(in reply to windchymes)
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RE: anyone with similar experiences? - 12/22/2010 11:51:38 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline 		I'm always telling people to trust their own instincts....

If this fella doesn't feel right to you then what more do you need to know to react accordingly?

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

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RE: anyone with similar experiences? - 12/22/2010 11:57:53 AM   
DCWoody


Posts: 1401
Joined: 10/27/2006
Status: offline 		I have had long distance subs give me physical addresses before now....but generally not without having known them a while, and for sending packages, not 'establishing control'. But I ain't him.....An compromising photos/vids doesn't really need an explanation IMO :D :p

It does sound a little off, but I'd suggest going with mnottertails advice.


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RE: anyone with similar experiences? - 12/22/2010 12:21:35 PM   
derfman


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/2/2010
Status: offline 		thank you all for your thoughtful replies so far.  all our correspondence so far has been chat and e-mail, towards establishing a real time meet in the near future.  from all your advice, maybe slowing down and talking on the phone is indeed a sound next step

(in reply to DCWoody)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: anyone with similar experiences? - 12/22/2010 1:52:23 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Why do people ask such obvious questions?? Without meeting someone and establishing some sort of relationship, why would you ever send compromising photos and personal data.

People prey on the desperate and this smacks of that.

I love you, red.  I really do.  I wish that more people on this planet had your kind of common sense.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to sexyred1)
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RE: anyone with similar experiences? - 12/22/2010 1:55:31 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I love you too, LadyPact. :)

I just think some things do not need to be asked, but I do understand that some people want and need validation of their thoughts and actions.

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RE: anyone with similar experiences? - 12/22/2010 2:19:11 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		Hey there,

I think you're making the right call. Talk on the phone - exchange numbers, and when the time comes , my advice would be to exchange addresses - note the "exchange" you get his digits, he gets yours.

Your instincts seem pretty good - trust them!

And I hope you have a great time!

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

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RE: anyone with similar experiences? - 12/22/2010 2:30:18 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		If someone asks for my info, I'm less likely to give it.

agirl

(in reply to derfman)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: anyone with similar experiences? - 12/22/2010 7:01:27 PM   
soul2share


Posts: 7084
Joined: 12/18/2007
From: somewhere out there.....
Status: offline 		DON'T DO IT!!!!!! Listen to those gut feelings....he doesn't need to know your personal info......and in these days of identity theft, (victim myself here), you don't need to be giving out info to strangers.

And I shouldn't have to say anything about compromising pics......you want to get outed?  Piss him off and that's exactly what'll happen!

Slow down, STOP and think, and don't let the sub frenzy thing take over your smarts.  Talk on the phone, see what goes on from there.  TRUST YOUR FEELINGS....I can't say that enough!

_____________________________

I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be?"...people are starting to take it as a challenge!

*Not a fuck was given.*

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: anyone with similar experiences? - 12/22/2010 7:03:07 PM   
soul2share


Posts: 7084
Joined: 12/18/2007
From: somewhere out there.....
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
Why do people ask such obvious questions?? Without meeting someone and establishing some sort of relationship, why would you ever send compromising photos and personal data.
People prey on the desperate and this smacks of that.

I love you, red.  I really do.  I wish that more people on this planet had your kind of common sense.


but, but, but......where would we get our fun then?  
And I lubs ya both! 

_____________________________

I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be?"...people are starting to take it as a challenge!

*Not a fuck was given.*

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: anyone with similar experiences? - 12/22/2010 7:24:16 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		If this were a vanilla relationship developing, would you do it? Just because we're kinky doesn't mean good sense is thrown out the window. Go with your gut.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to derfman)
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RE: anyone with similar experiences? - 12/23/2010 4:23:06 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Dreadfully obvious thread hijack.... oh I'm a naughty girl.

MFM's new foto:

!!!!!

:: thud ::

that is all.
/ end hijack

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

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RE: anyone with similar experiences? - 12/23/2010 9:34:20 AM   
oldbabyface


Posts: 56
Joined: 7/13/2010
From: West Midlands, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

I'm always telling people to trust their own instincts....

If it don't feel right it ain't.

A few times I've ignored this sort of advice and now regrets make me smarter.


_____________________________

Truth is so hard to tell, it sometimes needs fiction to make it plausible.

Francis Bacon

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 20
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