diff between a Mistress & a Domme

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

diff between a Mistress & a Domme

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> diff between a Mistress & a Domme

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

diff between a Mistress & a Domme - 12/22/2010 10:41:39 AM

ISOPussySlut

Posts: 7
Joined: 12/21/2010
Status: offline

can someone explain the difference for me?

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: diff between a Mistress & a Domme - 12/22/2010 12:57:22 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

It's a game of semantics. Some of us from Leather traditions will tell you one thing, others something else.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to ISOPussySlut)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: diff between a Mistress & a Domme - 12/22/2010 1:24:06 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

Depends very much where you are, in some countries the title a dominant picked gave an indication of what to expect or not to expect, but that seems to have changed massively in the past 5 years or so...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: diff between a Mistress & a Domme - 12/22/2010 2:04:16 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

It depends on the amount of authority that I have over someone. Like Hib mentioned, I am a leather person, so I take the semantics rather seriously. Of course, My view of it is just personal opinion.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: diff between a Mistress & a Domme - 12/22/2010 2:08:41 PM

ISOPussySlut

Posts: 7
Joined: 12/21/2010
Status: offline

well thats what I thought

(in reply to LadyPact)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: diff between a Mistress & a Domme - 12/23/2010 7:50:22 AM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

A Mistress will dismiss you from service for using the word "diff" in her presence at the table.

A Domme will begin the inquisition of why you used the word "diff" with a cat-o-ninetails,
while you're tied to the table.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to ISOPussySlut)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: diff between a Mistress & a Domme - 12/23/2010 5:09:21 PM

Steponme73

Posts: 552
Joined: 11/9/2007
Status: offline

To me they are one in the same. I understand LadyPact's point of view. From what she has written here on CM I find it hard to see her not in total and absolute control. I think in the leather commmunity there is more protocol, therefore more labels.
I assure you that if either a Mistress or a Domme is swinging a whip, it will hurt just as much.

(in reply to chiaThePet)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: diff between a Mistress & a Domme - 12/23/2010 9:39:18 PM

hausboy

Posts: 2360
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline

A bit of a hijack, but it reminds me of an old joke: the difference between a bitch and a slut.
A slut will have sex with anyone.
A bitch will have sex with anyone....except you.

(in reply to Steponme73)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: diff between a Mistress & a Domme - 12/24/2010 7:35:47 AM

allthatjaz

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline

In the UK Mistress tends to be used by those who are owned or in service, though if you go to a club, every sub but your uncle will want to call you Mistress.
It can be a term of address like 'Ma'am'. You wouldn't ever say to a dominant woman 'excuse me Domme, may I sit at your feet'? You would say 'excuse me, may I sit at your feet' or 'excuse me Ma'am, may I sit at your feet', or 'excuse me Mistress, may I sit at your feet'
I can say, 'I am xxx's Domme/Dominant. She would say 'Maria is my Mistress'

To me they mean the same thing and used accordingly.

_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos

Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to hausboy)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: diff between a Mistress & a Domme - 12/30/2010 1:27:44 PM

SlaveRMneeded

Posts: 11
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline

They are often used interchangeably, and, in some languages, Domme simply means the female version of Dom, which is short for dominant.

A Mistress does not have to be dominant. She can have a Master, or husband who is the manly man type, or whatever. Mistress literally means the female head of the household or owner of the slaves. She's the female in charge. It doesn't matter if slaves are there, or subs, or she is a slave to someone, she is still the top female of the house.

However, when most people choose to call themselves Mistress, in this day and age, it is to point out that they are dominant in some manner. And, this is where it gets hinky, because a lot of them are really dominatrixes.

Dominatrixes are often not really Mistresses, though, and vice versa.. Because a dominatrix is a female that is sexually dominant to her partner. She may be completely submissive in all other aspects of their life, or there may be no other aspects of their life, together.

A woman can be both, of course.

However, a good rule of thumb for telling a dominatrix apart from a dominant female is that dominatrixes are usually still dressed submissively, to please the men they wish to entice into a sexual relationship. Whereas the other women, they are not looking for the same things in a man, and, therefore they get to wear comfortable shoes.

(in reply to ISOPussySlut)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: diff between a Mistress & a Domme - 12/30/2010 4:12:14 PM

ReginaMirus

Posts: 240
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline

Mistress can also mean "kept woman", the "little woman on the side", or a concubine, which is why it's not personally my favorite term to use.

Others think of it differently, which I can respect. It just isn't for me, is all.

It's the difference between using the term Master, as opposed to dom. The real answer is that it depends on the person using the term, and how they wish to define it.

(in reply to SlaveRMneeded)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: diff between a Mistress & a Domme - 12/30/2010 4:40:05 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveRMneeded

Dominatrixes are often not really Mistresses, though, and vice versa.. Because a dominatrix is a female that is sexually dominant to her partner. She may be completely submissive in all other aspects of their life, or there may be no other aspects of their life, together.

A woman can be both, of course.

However, a good rule of thumb for telling a dominatrix apart from a dominant female is that dominatrixes are usually still dressed submissively, to please the men they wish to entice into a sexual relationship. Whereas the other women, they are not looking for the same things in a man, and, therefore they get to wear comfortable shoes.

Thank you for enlightening me that my choice of Jimmy Choos and Louboutins makes me submissive, I completely missed that, in fact they are quite comfortable, unlike the cheap heels you get from the local Walmart. Has it ever occurred to you that not every woman wants to look like a left over of the 60's flower power generation? I guess those of us who stay fit are also only doing it to please men and anybody who doesn't subscribe to Birkenstocks but does a bit of personal grooming is "very submissive" - oh well, personally I would thinks some of us have enough self-respect to not let ourselves go and look like frumps, gosh how submissive of us to not wanting to be obese relicts of a generations gone past.

Stereotype much or hate women who actually look nice much?

< Message edited by LadyConstanze -- 12/30/2010 4:41:19 PM >

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to SlaveRMneeded)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: diff between a Mistress & a Domme - 12/30/2010 8:37:08 PM

SeeksSadisticTop

Posts: 9
Joined: 10/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ISOPussySlut

can someone explain the difference for me?

One describes herself wih an English word thta has a very different meaning when used in the vanilla community. The other describes herself with a made up, french looking word, which many show disdain for by making it rhyme with "Mommy."

Since every single one of the woman who use one of these words, or other words like "Domina" to describe herself is a completely unique human being, the difference in meaning between the words is entirely subjective, meaning that semantically, there is no difference whatsoever.

(in reply to ISOPussySlut)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: diff between a Mistress & a Domme - 12/30/2010 8:52:40 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Thanks, LadyC. I'm not sure how much sarcasm was in the post you quoted, but I still disagree with it.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to SeeksSadisticTop)

Profile

Post #: 14

RE: diff between a Mistress & a Domme - 12/31/2010 5:07:50 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Thanks, LadyC. I'm not sure how much sarcasm was in the post you quoted, but I still disagree with it.

I first thought it was sarcasm too, then I had a look at the profile...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Profile

Post #: 15

RE: diff between a Mistress & a Domme - 12/31/2010 9:38:35 AM

Lucienne

Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveRMneeded
However, a good rule of thumb for telling a dominatrix apart from a dominant female is that dominatrixes are usually still dressed submissively, to please the men they wish to entice into a sexual relationship. Whereas the other women, they are not looking for the same things in a man, and, therefore they get to wear comfortable shoes.

Women have different ways of expressing their power. Dressing in an attractive manner is not inherently submissive. And, speaking for myself, dressing like a frump while enticing a man into a sexual relationship is quite fun.

(in reply to SlaveRMneeded)

Profile

Post #: 16

RE: diff between a Mistress & a Domme - 1/5/2011 12:01:05 AM

SLAVEBOY32

Posts: 122
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveRMneeded

Dominatrixes are often not really Mistresses, though, and vice versa.. Because a dominatrix is a female that is sexually dominant to her partner. She may be completely submissive in all other aspects of their life, or there may be no other aspects of their life, together.

A woman can be both, of course.

However, a good rule of thumb for telling a dominatrix apart from a dominant female is that dominatrixes are usually still dressed submissively, to please the men they wish to entice into a sexual relationship. Whereas the other women, they are not looking for the same things in a man, and, therefore they get to wear comfortable shoes.

Thank you for enlightening me that my choice of Jimmy Choos and Louboutins makes me submissive, I completely missed that, in fact they are quite comfortable, unlike the cheap heels you get from the local Walmart. Has it ever occurred to you that not every woman wants to look like a left over of the 60's flower power generation? I guess those of us who stay fit are also only doing it to please men and anybody who doesn't subscribe to Birkenstocks but does a bit of personal grooming is "very submissive" - oh well, personally I would thinks some of us have enough self-respect to not let ourselves go and look like frumps, gosh how submissive of us to not wanting to be obese relicts of a generations gone past.

Stereotype much or hate women who actually look nice much?

LOL! Good stuff!

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Profile

Post #: 17

RE: diff between a Mistress & a Domme - 1/5/2011 3:39:32 AM

allthatjaz

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveRMneeded

Dominatrixes are often not really Mistresses, though, and vice versa.. Because a dominatrix is a female that is sexually dominant to her partner. She may be completely submissive in all other aspects of their life, or there may be no other aspects of their life, together.

A woman can be both, of course.

However, a good rule of thumb for telling a dominatrix apart from a dominant female is that dominatrixes are usually still dressed submissively, to please the men they wish to entice into a sexual relationship. Whereas the other women, they are not looking for the same things in a man, and, therefore they get to wear comfortable shoes.

Thank you for enlightening me that my choice of Jimmy Choos and Louboutins makes me submissive, I completely missed that, in fact they are quite comfortable, unlike the cheap heels you get from the local Walmart. Has it ever occurred to you that not every woman wants to look like a left over of the 60's flower power generation? I guess those of us who stay fit are also only doing it to please men and anybody who doesn't subscribe to Birkenstocks but does a bit of personal grooming is "very submissive" - oh well, personally I would thinks some of us have enough self-respect to not let ourselves go and look like frumps, gosh how submissive of us to not wanting to be obese relicts of a generations gone past.

Stereotype much or hate women who actually look nice much?

SlaveRM, do you really believe your own words? A dominatrix is just another term uses by dominant women and dominant women can wear what the fuck they like. When I put a vampy outfit on I do it for me and not because I'm dressing to please someone else. In a club it feels great to wear vampish clothing but that doesn't mean I can't competently and comfortably dominate someone in my pj's!

Lady C, I tend to dress burlesque and that could be anything from the 20's through to the 60's. This morning I jumped on my vintage bike and cycled into town wearing a vintage coat and cap. Just because I may look like something left over from the flower generation (my choice and I think I carry it well) doesn't mean I'm unfit or a frump.

Choice of clothing can make a woman feel more or less dominant but what clothes don't do is take away what is inside a person. Don't be misguided that sweet feminine clothes or that a latex cat suit represents a personality. One of the most dominant women I know nearly always wears a pretty white dress. The contrast of her angelic feminine clothes and the dominance she unleashes whilst wearing them can be a startling but entertaining contrast.

_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos

Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Profile

Post #: 18

RE: diff between a Mistress & a Domme - 1/5/2011 3:49:54 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

Lady C, I tend to dress burlesque and that could be anything from the 20's through to the 60's. This morning I jumped on my vintage bike and cycled into town wearing a vintage coat and cap. Just because I may look like something left over from the flower generation (my choice and I think I carry it well) doesn't mean I'm unfit or a frump.

But you also don't go off and label everybody who doesn't think Birkenstocks should be worn at all times as automatically submissive.

I couldn't care less what anybody likes to wear, but if anybody decides that somebody who likes to wear heels is submissive and does it only to please men, I tend to have a look at the profile, and personally I think letting yourself go "because you're dominant" is not a very dominant trait at all.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to allthatjaz)

Profile

Post #: 19

RE: diff between a Mistress & a Domme - 1/5/2011 6:17:52 AM

allthatjaz

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline

Oh I agree with that LadyC. One can dress however they please and unless I'm helping S do some DIY I make an effort. I also make an effort with my makeup, my hairstyle and my figure. How can people who don't look after themselves control someone else's life?
When I used to work in the city (nilla job) I wore a well cut suet and I even had some Jimmy Choos

and I have to admit that I love wearing what I consider vanilla power clothes. I wore them because I was dealing with important clients who expected a well dressed and groomed woman. You don't win deals if you turn up looking like something the cats dragged in! and when you look good you feel good and when you feel good business is always on your side.
For this guy to suggest that this sort of clothing is submissive is ridiculous but I think what he possibly means is, dominant women who wear extremely uncomfortable clothing such as killer shoes and overly tight boned corsets. Those that can't sit down all evening because they can't breath but who desperately want to sit down because those uncomfortable shoes are soooo painful. I don't think it makes them submissive, I think they are just making too much of the wrong sort of effort to feel good.

_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos

Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Profile

Post #: 20