The Classic Dominant !

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CelticPrince -> The Classic Dominant ! (1/1/2011 12:28:13 PM)
The Classic Dominant What would he/she look like / be like in your opinion? This is not a question reserved solely for sub/slaves and the term is inclusive of Dommes as well. Hopefully, this might well be a learning tool for the flood of males that frequent CollarMe looking for a hookup but since there are so few of them that actually partisipate in these forums, they may at least read the thread. I tend to keep track of what types of both sides of the slash that come into CM as new folks and one new gal mentioned she had only been the site for 3 days and already had 13 pages of messages from Doms and that got me pondering what kind of "dom" would approach a fem in that manner. So you thoughts as to what a classic dominant would be in your eyes. CP

AquaticSub -> RE: The Classic Dominant ! (1/1/2011 12:34:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CelticPrince So you thoughts as to what a classic dominant would be in your eyes. In my eyes? That there isn't a 'classic dominant'. I'm trying to think of something that I would consider to be classically dominant and too much variety pops up. The intoxicating Southern Gentleman with a well-cut suit and soft linen covering hard muscle. The rough mannered worker (think classic cowboy) with well worn clothing. The only thing I can think of that is the same is the look in their eyes. That hungry, devilish look that simply lets you know that you are the meal to the predator. Doesn't matter what they are wearing or what they do. That look is the only thing that stays the same. So... what's your answer to your question? [;)]

Focus50 -> RE: The Classic Dominant ! (1/1/2011 1:02:25 PM)
By this standard, a "classic dom" is a trolling horndog targeting the new meat. Since I consider myself waaaaay above that (new meat is acceptable but), what's better than "classic"? Or did you mean typical internet dom? Focus.

LadyPact -> RE: The Classic Dominant ! (1/1/2011 1:03:52 PM)
I think it's a fallacy to perpetuate the myth that there is such a thing as a look or a particular style of the 'Classic Dominant'. The audience that you are hoping to reach, CP, when they are new to the actual world of BDSM, rather than what they've learned through porn, already comes with a stereotype in their heads that we have to teach them isn't what Dominant women are going to be like. They already have misconceptions about it because those hot fantasy chicks who run around in leather and spiked heals morning, noon, and night playing the bitch goddess continually just really don't exist. Though, it does need to be mentioned here that submissive males aren't the only folks who fall into this trap. Male Dominants who are just getting started are just as bad. They even come to the boards asking how to make themselves into the classic Dom, thinking they can fool submissive women. They start thread after thread here with different variations of what boils down to the same question. That being, how should they act or what should they do to convince women that they are Dominant. Like getting tips from folks who have been doing this for a while will be enough for them to fake some kind of image. Speaking of images, look for the classic pic of the guy in a black shirt, stern look on his face, with his arms folded across his chest or holding some flogger that looks brand new and never been used. As most Dominant women will tell you, the first year that we're active in BDSM in any situation other than just privately with a partner, we get flooded with garbage about what we're 'supposed to be'. It takes a bit to shrug that off and just be the type of Domme that we feel reflects us as a person. I'm sure that submissive women hear the same crap as well. Let's not add to that, shall we?

BonesFromAsh -> RE: The Classic Dominant ! (1/1/2011 1:19:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CelticPrince The Classic Dominant What would he/she look like / be like in your opinion? This is not a question reserved solely for sub/slaves and the term is inclusive of Dommes as well. For me, there is no specific "look" a dominant individual needs to have. There are certain physical characteristics that appeal to me, but they don't indicate dominance per say. A person can dress a certain way and be sexy to me, but does that imply dominance? For me, no. Again, for me, a dominant individual would behave in the way I described on this thread... http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3512763. This goes for both men and women. Honestly, for better or worse, I see dominance and submission as personality traits/roles and not as some 'lifestyle' label. Maybe that's why I don't have one particular image in mind of what a "Classic Dominant" would be that actually coincides with the image so many folks on the profile side of CM come looking for or want to be.

ThePeripatetic -> RE: The Classic Dominant ! (1/1/2011 1:37:11 PM)
Celtic.... what do you mean by "Classic"?

soul2share -> RE: The Classic Dominant ! (1/1/2011 1:49:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ThePeripatetic Celtic.... what do you mean by "Classic"? Maybe versus the New Recipe? [:D] *Sorry.....I just couldn't resist!

littlewonder -> RE: The Classic Dominant ! (1/1/2011 2:34:35 PM)
again you're overthinking all this CP.

Prinsexx -> RE: The Classic Dominant ! (1/1/2011 2:55:39 PM)
I took this definition of 'classic' from Wiki for speed really. I'm sure there are other definitions: ~The word classic means something that is a perfect example of a particular style, something of lasting worth or with a timeless quality.~ For me the most pertinent part of that definition as something of lasting worth as it also fits with how I would define classic architecture, or a classic novel or even classical beauty. Now I son't know of any other way of standing the test of time except to be true to thyself. This also conveys the sense of not being imitative or cosmetic as both of these dubious qualities wear with time. (I'm shocked at current trends at imitation. The commercial market's insistamce on sexualising women and the effects of this on young girls. Indeed there's a TV series here entitled Got to Dance which invites contestants of any age to perform and eventually win a prize as best dancer. Last year the winner was a ten year old boy. This year one of the show's judges remains Kimberly Wyatt whose showcase dance would fit snugly into any BDSM club. It's sadly imitative and will not stand the test of time.) So I guess what I am saying is that there might only ever be a ~best fit~ between Old Guard traditions and innovation but it will be those ethics that withstand the test of time that will remain the classic elements of any power dynamic role and not just that of being dominant. PS The Three Tenets are probably the closest to anything classical. But it still doesn't feel quite sane to me to teach and indeed encourage little girls to be sexually enticing in the name of dance. It's not the world of BDSM that is the one that steps outside of acceptable codes of conduct.

DarkSteven -> RE: The Classic Dominant ! (1/1/2011 3:16:37 PM)
My watch has Roman numerals on it instead of the usual ones....

Prinsexx -> RE: The Classic Dominant ! (1/1/2011 3:34:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven My watch has Roman numerals on it instead of the usual ones.... ...that doesn't count

windchymes -> RE: The Classic Dominant ! (1/1/2011 3:57:27 PM)
I had to think about this for awhile, and what I kept visualizing was a mixture of Chuck Norris, Fabio, and Dracula. I'll explain. Fabio for some of the looks: strong, chisled, stern yet sultry face; tall and muscular, wearing black leather pants and a loose "puffy" shirt unbuttoned 3/4 of the way to the navel, standing posed on a mountain crag, one boot-heel propped on a rock, black cape and long hair blowing in the wind. Chuck, nothing he can't do, can fly, run across water, stop a moving vehicle with a stare, and rescue a helpless submissive with one arm tied behind his back, no matter what kinds of shenanigans she's gotten herself into. Dracula for the cape, of course, and the ability to hypnotically cause a helpless submissive to melt at his feet, lose control of her thoughts and actions and common sense, and then sweep her up and hold her to his breast as he whisks her away to his castle. I guess we could throw in a little bit of Donald Trump, just for massive wealth. And he has to have a House named after either himself, a wild animal, or a mythical creature. He has a large collection of whips, crops, restraints, butt-plugs, and a dungeon furnished with crosses, benches, swings, a mini-bar stocked with beverages and treats for aftercare, and a sofa. He has an extensive checklist of his submissive's likes and dislikes, from which he never dreams of deviating, as well as a fountain pen with a large plume for signing the contract. He requires no safe word, because he just "knows". Because He is a Dominant, He requires capital letters in front of all titles and pronouns that refer to Him. His very soul exudes truth, justice, and especially, honor. When it comes to etiquette, Emily Post is his bitch. Classic. [&:]

Prinsexx -> RE: The Classic Dominant ! (1/1/2011 4:15:25 PM)
On a less serious note I wrote this in 2007 but 'Classic' didn't figure http://www.collarchat.com/m_1363002/mpage_1/tm.htm

dreamerdreaming -> RE: The Classic Dominant ! (1/1/2011 4:49:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx On a less serious note I wrote this in 2007 but 'Classic' didn't figure http://www.collarchat.com/m_1363002/mpage_1/tm.htm Awesome thread link- thank you! Prinsexx, I think I love you. [sm=hearts.gif]

BurntKitty -> RE: The Classic Dominant ! (1/1/2011 4:53:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: windchymes <...snip> standing posed on a mountain crag, one boot-heel propped on a rock, black cape and long hair blowing in the wind. A classic dominant has a little bit of The Captain in him? [:D]

sunshinemiss -> RE: The Classic Dominant ! (1/1/2011 5:14:52 PM)
Hello CP - I'm not sure what you are looking for here, but I can tell you the type of man that resonates for me as an authentically dominant man. Keith Carradine in the guise of Frank Lundy on Dexter. Strong, calm, self-assured, fun, smart, grounded, driven, sensual. All he did was be himself, and his being himself called Debra to him. She started having lunch at 1:00 because he did. It was the perfect illustration for me of what I often talk about as "a man needs to inspire." And then the fuckers killed him off. sigh best, sunshine

Prinsexx -> RE: The Classic Dominant ! (1/1/2011 5:16:37 PM)
The Classic Dominant A dominant with Herculean powers of persuasion, who portrays himself standing triumphant over both of his submissives: a timeless triptych of perfect power exchange. The whip he carries over his shoulder is almost invisible, emphasizing that ownership is achieved through cleverness rather than sheer force.

Elisabella -> RE: The Classic Dominant ! (1/1/2011 6:02:28 PM)
To me the "classic" Domme look is high heels, corset, full face makeup, either very long hair or striking blunt cut. Not sure about a classic Dom look, straight guys wearing lots of leather just look ridiculous to me.

windchymes -> RE: The Classic Dominant ! (1/1/2011 6:05:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BurntKitty quote: ORIGINAL: windchymes <...snip> standing posed on a mountain crag, one boot-heel propped on a rock, black cape and long hair blowing in the wind. A classic dominant has a little bit of The Captain in him? [:D] Mmmmm, goes good with eggnog! :)

salemartist -> RE: The Classic Dominant ! (1/1/2011 6:14:11 PM)
A cool hat and a big gothic carved chair..... oh nevermind I am regressing. The classic Dom to me not a compliment. the term classic to me has conitations that it has become the standard to be compared to and it also has some denotation of being vintage. Classic cars, classic rock, etc I try to be a unique indivual with dominant qualities. 'standard, typical, traditional and words like classic are descriptions I try to avoid

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