SlevinKelevra
Posts: 26
Joined: 1/22/2011
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CaringandReal
Not generically. This question is aimed primarily at partnerless submissive men and women.
What fears do you have about meeting a dominant?
I know these forums contain a lot of partnered submissive posters so here is your version: what frightened you (past tense--er, I hope) about meeting your current partner. What did you fear or dread might happen or, even if you were perfectly fearless and had a prospective master who perfectly put you at ease, what did you have a niggling worry about?
This could be anything from "his not liking my haircut" to "her cooking me over a bonfire."
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With my former master: I feared he would turn out to be a psychopath once I was safely ensconced in his house for the first time. Why? He was formidibly intelligent, not just moreso than myself but moreso than anybody I'd ever met before, even the most brilliant college professors, and he had an acting background. I was naturally paranoid (still am as a matter of fact) and it occurred to me that if anybody could be a psychopath and trick someone into thinking they were an ordinary perverted master looking for a slave, it was him.
With future partners: I fear something different these days. I like dominants who like extreme levels of control and I fear that I might become irresistibly attracted to someone like that due to the control compatibility but find their personality to be bleakly, shiveringly cold, but not be able to resist them due to needing that level of control. I fear chronic despair.
There´s a phrase I learned during my service year in the Army....it truly reflected our fear, and it goes like : "...Of all the things that Darkness holds..to die alone is the one I fear the most...." and that didn´t mean to just die alone in some shell crater or trench or behind some bush with nobody to help you while you suffer in agony. It meant that it is horrible to die, even if you do so in your sleep and without pain, even with a life of victories, accomplishments to show and brag about, without nobody to love you, miss you, or wait for you on that other side.
In BDSM, I guess it´s the same. I don´t want to be just another pony in a Domme´s stables, another dog in her kennel, one more from the bunch, just another bull to use and sacrifice when the time comes from the herd, nothing more than a toy, relegated to oblivion, to a secondary place.
The thing is, I don´t go around showing laundry lists of kinks. I just say no to 3 things: activities which expose me to permament damage and harm, activities which go against morals and create harm to others, even if i hate the guts of those others, and the third is to not do anything that can create emotional, and social amage and rejection, for me, for others as there´s a world out there who doesn´t quite understand us enogh to go "out of the dungeon" (If i said clsoet, that would have been wrong and really fun..LOL) so I don´t need someone to "out" me. Other than that, if you want to play tag with a red-hot branding iron, I can take it, but only out of the devotion that comes from Love.
You´d think that such a simple and short list of dislikes/hard-limits and such a high level of pain and damage tolerance along with service capabilities (not to mention I can do house chores like a maid or a butler, and cook really well, plus I can make you a great cappuchino and crepes, LOL) would help me, along with a passable body and face ( I admit it, Vin Diesel looks cuter than I do) to capture the heart and attention of a great Domme, but guess what, it doesn´t and even distance doesn´t excuse that since I have traveled and Dommes travel here after all.
Problem is...being in my place here, half and a quarter of a world away from BDSM-enjoying cultures, I have such fear, to never find a person to really love me, even share a life with me. But even if I was not here and in Europe, or North America, I´d still have it in me to fear the chance of meeting someone special....and then seeing that I don´t mean nothing to her, or she´s already "taken" so to speak, as in a relationship.
So far, it has been the norm for people here to just entertain visiting Domme, mostly from Europe, who have their own playground here. If you think OWK was a Czech-based-only thing, you couldn´t be more wrong, here, we are damn sure we must have inspired the "Hostel" movies, except it would be the tourists the ones who come in to be the bad guys using locals.
Must be a pretty dumb fear for us here, considering we can stand in front of blades and bullets and walk through flames due to our country's violent situation....but I have discovered that no matter how tough and how strong, how able and how trained your body and mind are, hearts, souls if you will, can´t ever be shaped just as you can´t create an sculpture with air, even water can be frozen to sculpt it, but reality is that it´s the same as trying to build an igloo on the Sahara desert and hope it doesn´t melt at noon.
< Message edited by SlevinKelevra -- 1/30/2011 10:00:29 AM >
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RE: What Frightens You? - 
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